Stormont Mancroft, 2nd Baron Mancroft

Stormont Mancroft (27 July 1914 – 14 September 1987) was a British Conservative politician and humorous writer.

A Chinaman in My Bath

 * My first car was painted red down one side and blue down the other to confuse witnesses in case of an accident.


 * Nobody ever seemed quite clear whether the expression "drunk as a lord" should be taken as a compliment or an insult.


 * The only exercise I ever take is walking up hospital stairs to visit friends who've damaged themselves by taking exercise.


 * Before the War you took your secretary to Paris and called her your wife. Now, in order to wriggle through the tax-gatherer's net, you take your wife to Paris and call her your secretary.


 * Cricket is a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of Eternity.