Supernatural (season 5)

Supernatural (2005–2020) is a paranormal/horror/thriller/drama-themed television series on the WB Television Network (now merged with UPN into the new network The CW) that details the lives of two brothers who travel across the country in a black 1967 Chevy Impala investigating paranormal events and other unexplained occurrences. Season five originally aired from 10 September 2009 to 13 May 2010.

Sympathy For the Devil [5.01]

 * Dean: Where's Cas?
 * Chuck: He's dead. Or gone. The archangels smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry.
 * Dean: You're sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something.
 * Chuck: Oh, no. He, like, exploded. Like a water balloon of chunky soup.


 * Sam: You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on.
 * Bobby: You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant.
 * Sam: I'm sorry.
 * Bobby: Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If by some miracle, we pull this off, I want you to lose my number. You understand me?


 * Sarah/Lucifer: I'm not your wife, Nick. I'm an angel.
 * Nick: An angel?
 * Sarah/Lucifer: My name is Lucifer.
 * Nick: Sure. Naturally, um... could you do me a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?


 * Dean: What if we win? I'm serious. Screw the angels and the demons and their crap Apocalypse. Hell, they want to fight a war? They can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on, we kill the Devil, hell, we even kill Michael if we have to, but we do it our own damn selves.
 * Bobby: And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?
 * Dean: [shrugs] I got no idea. But what I do have is a G.E.D., and a "give 'em hell" attitude and I'll figure it out.
 * Bobby: You are nine kinds of crazy, boy.
 * Dean: It's been said.


 * Sam: Dean... is there something you wanna say to me?
 * Dean: I tried, Sammy. Man, I really tried. But I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not. And it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother... and look what happened.
 * Sam: I would give anything, anything, to take it all back-
 * Dean: I know you would. And I know how sorry you are, I do. But, man... you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even... I'm just- I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?
 * Sam: What can I do?
 * Dean: Honestly? Nothing. I just don't... I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know? I just don't think I can trust you.

Good God Y'all [5.02]

 * Bobby: You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?!
 * Castiel: I'm sorry.
 * Bobby: Shove it up your ass.
 * Dean: [quietly, to Sam] Well, at least he's talking now.
 * Bobby: I heard that.
 * Castiel: I don't have much time; we need to talk.
 * Dean: Okay.
 * Castiel: Your plan. "Kill Lucifer."
 * Dean: Yeah, you wanna help?
 * Castiel: No. It's foolish, it can't be done.
 * Dean: Oh, well, thanks for the support.


 * Dean: God?
 * Castiel: Yes.
 * Dean: God.
 * Castiel: Yes. He isn't in Heaven, He has to be somewhere.
 * Dean: Try New Mexico, I hear He's on a tortilla.
 * Castiel: No, He's not on any flatbread.
 * Dean: Listen, chuckles, even if there is a God, He is either dead, and that's the generous theory-
 * Castiel: He is out there, Dean.
 * Dean: ...or, He's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us. I mean, look around you, man; the world is in the toilet! We are literally at the end of days here, and He's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. Alright?
 * Castiel: Enough. This is not a theological issue; it's strategic. With God's help, we can win.
 * Dean: It's a pipe-dream, Cas.
 * Castiel: [angrily] I killed two angels this week. That's my brothers. I'm hunted, I have rebelled, and I did it - all of it - for you. And you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world. And I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.


 * War: Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you've seen the Irish? They're all Irish. You think I'm a monster, I'm jello shots at a party, I just remove inihibations.
 * Sam: I'm going to kill you myself.
 * War: Oh, that's adorable, considering you're my poster boy.
 * Sam: What's that supposed to mean?
 * War: You can't stop thinking about it, ever since you saw it dripping off the blade of that knife.
 * Sam: You're wrong.
 * War: Save your protests for your brother, I can see inside your head. And it is a one-track city in there. Blood, blood, blood. Lust for power, same as always. You want to be strong again, but not just strong, stronger than everybody. Good intentions, quick slide to Hell, buddy boy.


 * Dean: So, pit stop at Mount Doom?
 * Sam: Dean-
 * Dean: Sam, let's not.
 * Sam: No, listen, this is important. I know you don't trust me. Just, now I realize something. I don't trust me either. From the minute I saw that blood, the only thought in my head... And I tell myself it's for the right reasons, that my intentions are good, and it- it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath... I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means, I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really, I mean, I- what I did, I can't blame the blood, or Ruby, or... anything. The problem's me. How far I'll go. There's something in me that... scares the hell outta me, Dean. In the last couple of days, I caught another glimpse.
 * Dean: So what are you saying?
 * Sam: I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just go our separate ways.
 * Dean: Well I think you're right.
 * Sam: I was expecting a fight.
 * Dean: The truth is, I spend more time worrying about you, than about doing the job right. I just can't afford that, you know? Not now.
 * Sam: I'm sorry, Dean.
 * Dean: I know you are, Sam. Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?
 * Sam: It's okay. [gets up to leave] Take care of yourself, Dean.
 * Dean: Yeah, you too, Sammy.

Free to Be You and Me [5.03]

 * Jessica: Hey baby. I missed you.
 * Sam: Jessica? I'm dreaming.
 * Jessica: Or you're not. What's the difference? I'm here.
 * Sam: I miss you, so much.
 * Jessica: I know. I miss you too. What are you doing, Sam?
 * Sam: What do you mean?
 * Jessica: Running away. Haven't we been down this road before?
 * Sam: No. It's different now.
 * Jessica: [a statement rather than a question] Really.
 * Sam: Last time, I wanted to be normal. This time... I know I'm a freak.
 * Jessica: Which is all a big ball of semantics. You know that.
 * Sam: No.
 * Jessica: Even at Stanford, you knew. You knew there was something dark inside of you. Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that's what got me killed.
 * Sam: No.
 * Jessica: I was dead from the moment we said hello.
 * Sam: No.
 * Jessica: Don't you get it? You can't run from yourself. Why are you running now?
 * Sam: Why are you here, Jess?
 * Jessica: Would you believe I'm actually trying to protect you?
 * Sam: From what?
 * Jessica: You. Sooner or later, the past is gonna catch up to you like it always does. You know what happens then? People die. Baby, the people closest to you die.
 * Sam: Well don't worry, because I won't make that mistake again.
 * Jessica: Same song, different verse. Things are never gonna change with you. Never.


 * Dean: Tell me something; you keep saying we're gonna trap this guy, but isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?
 * Castiel: No, it's harder.
 * Dean: Do we have any chance of surviving this?
 * Castiel: You do.
 * Dean: ...So, odds are, you're a dead man tomorrow?
 * Castiel: Yes.
 * Dean: Oh. Well, last night on earth, what, uh... what're your plans?
 * Castiel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly.
 * Dean: Dude, c'mon, anything? Hm? Booze, women? [Castiel glances at Dean, then looks away quickly] You have been with a woman before. Right? Or an angel, at least? [Castiel rubs his neck in embarrassment. Dean leans down to almost talk in his ear] You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud seeding?
 * Castiel: Look, I've never had occasion, okay?


 * Raphael: Castiel.
 * Castiel: Raphael.
 * Dean: Oh, you know, I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room?
 * Raphael: And the eastern seaboard. It is a testament to my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now.
 * Dean: Or maybe you're full of crap. Maybe you're afraid that God'll bring Cas back to life again, and smite you and your candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean. [Waves]
 * Rapheal: I know who you are, and now thanks to him [glances at Castiel] I know where you are.
 * Castiel: You won't kill him. You wouldn't dare.
 * Rapheal: But I will take him to Micheal.


 * Raphael: But there's no other explanation. He's gone for good.
 * Castiel: You're lying.
 * Raphael: Am I? Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would've let any of that happen if He were alive?
 * Dean: Oh yeah? Well then who invented the Chinese basket trick?
 * Raphael: Careful. That's my Father you're talking about, boy.
 * Dean: Yeah, who would be so proud to know that His sons started the friggin' apocalypse.
 * Raphael: Who ran off and disappeared. Who left no instructions, and a world to run.
 * Dean: So Daddy ran away and disappeared. He didn't happen to work for the post office, did He?
 * Raphael: This is funny to you? You're living in a Godless universe!


 * Dean: Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but... I do know a little something about missing fathers.
 * Castiel: What do you mean?
 * Dean: I mean, there were times when I was looking for my dad when... all logic said that he was dead. But I knew, in my heart, that he was still alive. So, who cares what some Ninja Turtle says, Cas? What do you believe?
 * Castiel: I believe He's out there.
 * Dean: Good. Then go find Him.
 * Castiel: What about you?
 * Dean: What about me? I don't know. Honestly... I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm... I'm really good.
 * Castiel: Even without your brother?
 * Dean: Especially without my brother. I mean, I spend so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone... hell, I'm happy.

The End [5.04]

 * Dean: So you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?
 * Sam: That's what he said.
 * Dean: Just when we thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?
 * Sam: So that's it, that's your response?
 * Dean: What are you looking for?
 * Sam: I don't know, uh, a little panic, maybe?
 * Dean: I guess I'm a little numb with the earth-shattering revelations at this point.


 * Dean: So what, you're just gonna walk back in, and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?
 * Sam: Look, Dean, I can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you.
 * Dean: Look, Sam, it doesn't matter. Whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh... the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good.
 * Sam: Dean, it does not have to be like this, we can fight it.
 * Dean: Yeah, you're right, we can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us; love, family, whatever it is; they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. No, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing... if we just go our own ways.
 * Sam: Dean, don't do this.
 * Dean: Goodbye, Sam.


 * Dean: What are you, a hippie?
 * 2014-Castiel: [stretching] Thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.
 * Dean: Cas, we need to talk.
 * 2014-Castiel: [turns to face Dean] Whoa, strange.
 * Dean: What?
 * 2014-Castiel: You... are not you, not 'now' you, anyway.
 * Dean: No! Yeah- yes. Exactly.
 * 2014-Castiel: What year are you from?
 * Dean: 2009.
 * 2014-Castiel: Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?
 * Dean: Yes.
 * 2014-Castiel: Interesting.
 * Dean: Oh yeah, it's friggin' fascinating. Now... why don't you just strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?
 * 2014-Castiel: [turns away and laughs] I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but, uh, I'm sorry, no dice. [Laughs again]
 * Dean: ...What are you, stoned?
 * 2014-Castiel: Generally, yeah.
 * Dean: What happened to you?
 * 2014-Castiel: [shrugs] Life.


 * Lucifer as Sam : Oh. Hello, Dean. Aren't you a surprise? You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?
 * Dean: Well go ahead. Kill me.
 * Lucifer as Sam : Kill you? [looks at the body of Dean-2014] Don't you think that would be a little redundant? [Sighs] I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this... shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be. [Tries to touch Dean but Dean flinches back] You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?
 * Dean: I don't know, maybe deep-fry the planet?
 * Lucifer as Sam : Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful, in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God. You ever hear the story of how I fell from Grace?
 * Dean: Oh, good God, you're not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are ya? My stomach's almost outta bile.
 * Lucifer as Sam : You know why God cast me down? Because I loved Him. More than anything. And then God created...[smirks] you. The little... hairless apes. And then He asked all of us to bow down before you. To love you more than Him. And I said, "Father, I can't." I said, "These human beings are flawed. Murderous." And for that, God had Michael cast me into Hell. Now tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right. Look what six billion of you have done to this thing. And how many of you blame me for it.
 * Dean: [voice wavering] You're not fooling me, you know that? With this 'sympathy for the devil' crap. I know what you are.
 * Lucifer as Sam : What am I?
 * Dean: You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing my whole life. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you, is the size of your ego.
 * Lucifer as Sam : I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon.
 * Dean: You better kill me now!
 * Lucifer as Sam : Pardon?
 * Dean: You better kill me now! Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop-
 * Lucifer as Sam : I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael either, and I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up... here. [tears start to fall from Dean freely] I win... So, I win.
 * Dean: You're wrong.
 * Lucifer as Sam : See you in five years, Dean.


 * Dean: Sam. [holds Ruby's knife out to Sam] If you're serious, and you want back in... you should hang onto this. I'm sure you're rusty. Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know, uh, whatever I need to be, but I was, uh... wrong.
 * Sam: What made you change your mind?
 * Dean: Long story. The point is... maybe we are each other's Achilles' heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know, we're all we've got. More than that... we keep each other human.
 * Sam: Thank you. Really, thank you. I won't let you down.
 * Dean: Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet.
 * Sam: So what do we do now?
 * Dean: We make our own future.
 * Sam: Guess we have no choice.

Fallen Idols [5.05]

 * Sam: So... what's with this job?
 * Dean: Dude suffers a head-on collision in a parked car? I'd say it's worth checking out.
 * Sam: Yeah, definitely, um, but... we've got bigger problems, don't you think?
 * Dean: I'm sure the apocalypse'll still be there when we get back.


 * Sam: [referring to "Little Bastard"] So, what, this is like, Christine?
 * Dean: No, Christine is fiction; this, this is real.

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 * Dean: Let me get this straight: your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian.
 * Sam: That's not the point.
 * Dean: That is good. That is-even for you, that is good.

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 * Sam: How long am I gonna be double-secret probation?
 * Dean: Until I say so.
 * Sam: Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier.
 * Dean: What am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?
 * Sam: No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I—it has to be a two-way street.

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 * Sam: Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby... was to get away from you.
 * Dean: What?
 * Sam: It made me feel strong, like I wasn't your kid brother.
 * Dean: Are you saying this is my fault?
 * Sam: No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that if we're going to do this, we have to do it different. We can't just fall into the same rut.
 * Dean: What do you want me to do?
 * Sam: You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters.

I Believe the Children Are Our Future [5.06]

 * Dean: Maybe that's the connection. The Tooth Fairy, the Pop Rocks and Coke, the joy buzzer that shocks you, they're all lies that kids believe.
 * Sam: And now they're coming true. Okay, so whatever's doing this is—is reshaping reality. It has the powers of a god. Or of a trickster.
 * Dean: Yeah, with the sense of humor of a nine-year-old.
 * Sam: Or you.

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 * Sam: I don't get it, Jesse is the devil's son?
 * Castiel: [sighs and lets loose an eye roll] No, of course not; your Bible gets more wrong than it does right.

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 * Dean: [steps between Sam and Castiel] Okay, hey, look, we are not going to kill him. Alright? But we can't leave Jesse here, either. We know that. So... we take him to Bobby's, he'll know what to do.
 * Castiel: You'll kidnap him? What is going on in this town, it's what happens when this thing is happy; you cannot imagine what it will do if it's angry.

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 * Sam: You've got choices, Jesse. But if you make the wrong ones, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.
 * Jesse: Why are you telling me this?!
 * Sam: Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't.

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 * Dean: You think Jesse's gonna be OK?
 * Sam: I hope so.
 * Dean: You know we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.
 * Sam: We didn't have a choice, Dean.
 * Dean: Yeah. You know I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mixing poprocks and coke. Protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. More I think about it... more I wish dad had lied to us.
 * Sam: Yeah, me too.

The Curious Case Of Dean Winchester [5.07]

 * Dean: So you were just gonna shoot some old guy, is that it?
 * Sam: I didn't know what you were. I mean have you seen you? You look like-
 * Dean: The old chick in Titanic. I know, shut up.
 * Sam: I was gonna say Emperor Palpatine.

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 * Dean: Sammy, when you get to be our age...
 * Sam: You're 30, Dean!

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 * Bobby: What exactly am I living for, huh? The damn apocalypse?! Watching men die bloody while I sit in this chair, can't take a step to help 'em.
 * Dean: Bobby...
 * Bobby: No, no, It's the facts. I'm old, and I'm broke down, and I... I ain't a hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward I'd have stuck a gun in my mouth the day I got home from the hospital.

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 * Patrick: I'm sorry kid. Aces full.
 * Sam: [to Lia] You're crying. For a witch, you're so nice it's actually kinda creepy. It's okay. [to Patrick] It was a great hand. Just... not as great as... [Sam lays his hand down, revealing two fours, matching the two fours in the table hand] as four fours.
 * Patrick: Well played. You know, that whole... 'going out of your head' bit, very method. There's more to you than meets the eye. [raises his glass]
 * Sam: Cash these in for Dean. Please.
 * Patrick: With pleasure.

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 * Dean: You're not useless, Bobby.
 * Bobby: Okay... good talk.
 * Dean: Whoa, wait a moment, listen to me. You don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is: you're family. Now I don't know if you've noticed but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out! I don't wanna hear that again!
 * Bobby: Okay.
 * Dean: Okay. Good.
 * Bobby: Thanks... now we done feeling our feelings? Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
 * Dean: Yeah, we're done.

Changing Channels [5.08]

 * [The episode opens in the form of a sitcom]
 * Dean: [Narrating] Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience.
 * Dean: [Closes his fridge and looks at a cartoonishly big sandwich] I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.
 * Audience:[Laughs, then cheers as Sam walks through the door]
 * Dean: Hey there Sam. What's happening?
 * Sam: Oh nothing, um, just the end of the world. [Audience laughs. Sam looks at the sandwich] You're gonna need a bigger mouth. Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?
 * Dean: Oh yeah, All kinds of research. All night.
 * Sam: Yeah?
 * Audience: [lets loose wolf whistles and catcalls as a bikini clad woman exits the bathroom]
 * Woman: Oh, Dean. We have some more "research" to do.[More laughter]
 * Sam: [thoroughly exasperated] Dean...
 * Dean: [Extreme close-up] Son of a bitch! [More laughter and cheers]
 * [A cheesy opening credits sequence ensues, complete with Sam and Dean riding on a tandem bicycle and mopeds, playing pass football in a park, and hunting ghosts in a very comic fashion]

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 * Dean: Calm down?! I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show. And you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 on television, they're all the freaking same, it's: "oh... a plane crashed here." Oh shut up!

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 * Gabriel: You do not know my family. What you guys call the Apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner!

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 * Dean: No, we're not 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record, this isn't about some prized fight between your brothers. Or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family! [after setting off the sprinkler system] Don't say I never did anything for you.

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 * Dean: All that stuff he was spouting in there, do you think he was telling the truth?
 * Sam: I think he believes it.
 * Dean: So what do we do?
 * Sam: I don't know.
 * Dean: I'll tell you one thing – right about now wish I was back on a TV show.
 * Sam: Yeah, me too.

The Real Ghostbusters [5.09]

 * Sam: He means the books, Chuck. Why are you publishing more books?
 * Chuck: Um... for food and shelter.
 * Dean: Who gave you the rights to our life story?
 * Chuck: An Archangel, and I didn't want it.

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 * Dean: Well, you sure look lovely tonight. Especially for a dead chick.
 * Leticia Actress: Buddy, I have heard that line 17 times tonight, okay? And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets. But you seem different.
 * Dean: How so?
 * Leticia Actress: Well, you don't seem scared of women.

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 * Dean: No, I am not a fan, okay. Not fans. In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks. It is not fun, it's not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement. I mean, do you think they they enjoy being treated like-like circus freaks?
 * Demian: Ahh, I don't think they care. Because they're fictional characters.
 * Dean: Oh, they care. Believe me, they care a lot! [storms off]
 * Sam: He, uh... He takes the story really seriously.

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 * Demian: I'm not sure you get what the story's about.
 * Dean: That so?
 * Demian: Alright, look. In real life, he sells stereo equipment, I fix copiers; our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean... to wake up every morning and save the world, to have a brother who, who would die for you... Well, who wouldn't want that?

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 * Chuck: Like all authors I started writing because of love. I had a huge crush on Nancy McKeon who played Jo in The Facts of Life. I must have written her forty to fifty letters. She never wrote back.

Abandon All Hope… [5.10]

 * Castiel: The demon Crowley is making a deal; even as we speak, it's... going... down.
 * Dean: Going down? Right. Okay, Huggy Bear, just don't lose him.
 * Castiel: I won't lose him.

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 * Dean: Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?
 * Crowley: Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!

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 * Dean: So. Dangerous mission tomorrow. Guess it's time to eat, drink, and, you know, make merry.
 * Jo: Are you giving me the last night on Earth speech?
 * Dean: What?
 * Jo: What?
 * Dean: No. ''[laughs No. If I was, would, uh,... would that work?
 * Jo: [leans in to kiss him, but breaks off] No. Sweetheart, if this is our last night on Earth, then I'm going to spend it with a little thing I call self-respect.

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 * Castiel: Lucifer.
 * Lucifer: So, I take it you're here with the Winchesters?
 * Castiel: I came alone.
 * Lucifer: Loyalty... such a nice quality to see this day and age.

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 * Lucifer: I know what you must think of me, Sam. But I have to do this. I have to. You of all people should understand.
 * Sam: What's that supposed to mean?
 * Lucifer: I was a son. A brother, like you, a younger brother, and I had an older brother who I love. Idolized, in fact. And one day I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, and Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down. All because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something, Sam. Any of this sound familiar? Anyway. You'll have to excuse me, midnight is calling and I have a ritual to finish. Don't go anywhere. Not that you could if you would.

Sam, Interrupted [5.11]

 * Dr. Fuller: You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago.
 * Dean: That's right.
 * Dr. Fuller: Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
 * Dean: I don't know. I don't have any elephant books. Look doctor, I-I think the doc was in over his head with this one [points at Sam]. Cause my brother's, uh... [whistles and makes circles with his finger].
 * Dr. Fuller: Okay fine, thank you, that's, that's really not necessary. Why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex?
 * Sam: [sighs] I'm fine. I mean, okay, a little depressed, I guess.
 * Dr. Fuller: Alright. Any idea why?
 * Sam: Probably because I started the apocalypse.
 * Dr. Fuller: The apocalypse?
 * Sam: Yeah. That's right.
 * Dr. Fuller: And you think you started it?
 * Sam: Well yeah. I mean, I killed this demon – Lilith – and I accidentally freed Lucifer from Hell. So now he's topside, and we're trying to stop him.
 * Dr. Fuller: Who is?
 * Sam: Me. Him. And, uh, this one angel.
 * Dr. Fuller: Oh, you mean like a, like an angel on your shoulder.
 * Sam: No no. His name's Castiel. He wears a trench coat.
 * Dean: See what I mean, doc? I mean the kid's been beating himself up about this for months! The apocalypse wasn't his fault.
 * Dr. Fuller: It's not?
 * Dean: No. There was this other demon, Ruby? She had him addicted to demon blood, I mean, near the end he was practically chugging the stuff. My brother's not evil. He was just... high. Y'know, so, could you fix him up so we could get back to traveling around the country and hunting monsters?
 * Dr. Fuller: [smiles weakly, then picks up his phone]. Urma? Cancel my lunch.

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 * Dr. Fuller: Alright Ted, calm down.
 * Ted: I am calm. And I'd very calmly like to talk about the monster that's hunting us.
 * Dr. Fuller: Ted, we're not going to have that discussion again. It's not good for group.
 * Ted: I agree. You know what else isn't good for group? A monster eating all our faces off!

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 * Dr. Cartwright: Why you?
 * Dean: Why me what?
 * Dr. Cartwright: Why do you have to hunt monsters? Why not let someone else do it?
 * Dean: I can't find anybody else that dumb. It's my job, somebody's gotta save people's asses. Yours included.
 * Dr. Cartwright: So, is there a quota? How many people do you have to save?
 * Dean: All of 'em.
 * Dr. Cartwright: All of them? You think you have to save everyone?
 * Dean: Yup. Whole wide world of sports.
 * Dr. Cartwright: How? [Dean hesitates] Believe me, whatever you've got, I've heard weirder.
 * Dean: It's the end of the world, okay? I mean, it's the damn biblical apocalypse. And if I don't stop it and save everyone then no one will and we all die.
 * Dr. Cartwright: That's horrible.
 * Dean: Tell me about it.
 * Dr. Cartwright: I mean, apocalypse or no apocalypse. Monsters or no monsters. It's a crushing weight to have on your shoulders, to feel like six billion lives depend on you. God, how do you get up in the morning?

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 * Dr. Fuller: Monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions, but the anger I saw in you... you hurt those two men, and you were going to kill me. The look in your eyes when you came after me, I... it was like you were barely even human. Like a man possessed.
 * Sam: I know. Please... just... could you give me a second chance?
 * Dr. Fuller: Well, this isn't a prison. You'll be allowed to go to the day room, under supervision.
 * Sam: Thank you.
 * Dr. Fuller: But if there is one more outburst, I will transfer you to a facility that is equipped to handle violent patients, and believe me, they will be far, far less forgiving.

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 * Sam: The wraith-
 * Dean: What about her?
 * Sam: She was right.
 * Dean: No, she wasn't. She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve.
 * Sam: Most of the time I can hide it, but I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer. And I make excuses: I blame Ruby, or the demon blood, but it's not their fault, it's not them, it's me. It's inside me. I'm mad all the time, and I don't know why.
 * Dean: Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do here, take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What?
 * Sam: No, of course not.
 * Dean: Exactly. And that's exactly what you're going to do: you're going to take all that crap, and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going.

Swap Meat [5.12]

 * Sam (as Gary): [finds AP school textbooks] Smart kid. [finds Star Wars t-shirt] Virgin. [finds porno magazine] Frustrated virgin. [continues rumaging through box and finds cloth with Satanic symbols on it] Witchcraft, huh Gary? You little Satanic bastard.

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 * Trevor: Everybody knows Dean. He's Hell's most wanted.
 * Sam (as Gary): Oh, no. Have you idiots been talking to demons?

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 * Sam: [to Gary] Rebel a little bit, in a healthy, non-satanic way. By the way, you know why Nora's into witchcraft?
 * Gary: What do you mean?
 * Sam: She doesn't like Satan, you moron. She likes you.

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 * Dean: That was a nice thing to say.
 * Sam: Totally lied. Kid's life sucked ass. All that apple pie family crap, it's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing.
 * Dean: Or we don't know what we're missing.

The Song Remains the Same [5.13]

 * Dean: [After Anna shows up in his stripper dream] Anna! I was just, uh, workin' on a case.
 * Anna: ...This is what you dream about...?
 * Dean: This is awkward.

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 * John: Monsters? Monsters?
 * Mary: Yes.
 * John: Monsters are real?
 * Mary: I'm sorry, I didn't know how to-
 * John: And you fight them? All of you?
 * Sam: Yeah.
 * John: How long?
 * Mary: All my life.
 * (Dean, Sam, and Mary all try to explain at the same time)
 * John: Shut up, all of you! Look not another word or so help me, I will turn this car around!
 * Dean: Wow, awkward family road trip.
 * Sam: No kidding.

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 * John: Y'all may have treated me like a fool, but I am not useless. I can draw a damn, whatever it is - a sigil.
 * Dean: Why don't you go help Sam out? 'Kay? 'Cause this has got to be done in... it's gotta be done in human blood.
 * John: [cuts his hand open] So? How big?
 * Dean: I'll show you. [laughs softly]
 * John: What?
 * Dean: All of a sudden, you really remind me of my dad.

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 * John: How long have you known about this hunting stuff?
 * Sam: Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it.
 * John: You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid?
 * Sam: Well, for the record... Mary's parents did.
 * John: I don't care! What kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near - you know you could have been killed!
 * Sam: I, uh... came kinda close.
 * John: The number it must have done on your head. Your father was supposed to protect you.
 * Sam: He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. I used to be mad at him. I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy, but now I... I get it. He was... just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in this impossible situation. See, my mom, um, she was amazing, beautiful and she was the love of his life, she got killed and, I think, he would've gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that... I understand, why he did what he did and I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just... I love him.

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 * Michael: Lucifer defied our Father, and he betrayed me, but still, I don't want this any more than you would want to kill Sam. You know, my brother, I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand, and I still love him. But I am going to kill him, because it is right, and I have to.
 * Dean: What, because God says so?
 * Michael: Yes. From the beginning, He knew this was how it was going to end.
 * Dean: And you're just going to do whatever God says?
 * Michael: Yes, because I am a good son.

My Bloody Valentine [5.14]

 * Sam: Alright, I'm just gonna go through some files, you can go ahead and get going.
 * Dean: Sorry?
 * Sam: Go ahead. Unleash the Kraken. See you tomorrow morning.
 * Dean: [confused] Where am I going?
 * Sam: Dean, it's Valentine's Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it? Uh, "unattached drifter Christmas"?
 * Dean: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may, I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.
 * Sam: So, you're not into bars full of lonely women?

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 * Dean: [speaking on his cell] Cas, it's Dean. Yeah, Room 31-C, basement level, St. James Medical Center--
 * Castiel: [appears in front of Dean, still talking into the cell phone] I'm there now.
 * Dean: ...Yeah, I get that.
 * Castiel: I'm gonna hang up now.
 * Dean: Right.

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 * Castiel: What human myth has mistaken for Cupid is actually a lower order of angel. Technically it's a cherub. Third class.
 * Dean: Cherub?
 * Castiel: Yeah. They're all over the world, there are dozens of them.
 * Dean: You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers.

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 * Dean: Are you saying that you fixed up our parents?
 * Cupid: Well not me, but yeah. Oh, it wasn't easy either. Oooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them, perfect couple!
 * Dean: Perfect?
 * Cupid: Yeah.
 * Dean: They're dead.
 * Cupid: I'm sorry but the orders were very clear, you and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh, meant to be. [Starts singing A Match Made in Heaven. Dean punches him then turns around cradling his hand]
 * Dean: Son of a bitch. [Hear Cupid fleeing] Where is he? Where'd he go?
 * Castiel: I believe you upset him.
 * Dean: Upset him?
 * Sam: Dean, enough!
 * Dean: What?
 * Sam: You just punched a cupid!
 * Dean: I punched a dick!
 * Sam: Um... are we going to talk about what's been up with you lately or not?
 * Dean: Or not. [Storms out]

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 * Castiel: What I don't understand is: where's your hunger Dean?
 * Dean: Huh?
 * Castiel: Well, slowly but surely, everyone in this town is falling prey to Famine, but so far you seem unaffected.
 * Dean: Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. When I want sex, I go get it. Same goes for a sandwich, or a fight.
 * Castiel: So you're saying you're just well adjusted?
 * Dean: God no. I'm just well fed.

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid [5.15]

 * [Dean is eating pie in Bobby's kitchen. There are pies everywhere.]
 * Dean: I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that you like pies.

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 * Dean: You got anymore ammo? I'm low...
 * Bobby: Yeah, we got plenty. Just run back past the zombies, it's in the van where we left it.
 * Dean: A simple no would have been fine.

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 * [In a closet with zombies banging on the door.]
 * Bobby: Kind of a tight fit, don't ya think.
 * Dean: It's alright. They're idiots. They can't pick a lock. [The lock starts to get picked.]
 * Bobby: Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?
 * Dean: I'm making this stuff up as I go. Sue me!

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 * Bobby: She was the love of my life; how many times do I gotta kill her?

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 * Bobby: You boys should know, Karen told me why Death was here.
 * Sam: What do you mean?
 * Bobby: I know why he took a stroll through a cemetery in the sticks of South Dakota. He came for me.
 * Dean: What do you mean you?
 * Bobby: Death came for me. He brought Karen back to send me a message.
 * Dean: You? Why you?
 * Bobby: Because I've been helping you, you sons of bitches. I'm one of the reasons you're still saying no to Lucifer, Sam.
 * Dean: So, this was like a hit on your life?
 * Bobby: I don't know if they wanted to take my life or... my spirit. Either way, they wanted me out of the way.
 * Sam: But you're going to be alright, right Bobby? [Bobby doesn't say anything]

Dark Side of the Moon [5.16]

 * Castiel: Dean!
 * Dean: Cas?
 * Castiel: [speaking through the Impala's radio] Yeah, it's me.
 * Dean: [opens the door and gets in the Impala] You gotta stop poking around in my dreams; I need some me time.
 * Castiel: Listen to me very closely. This isn't a dream.
 * Dean: Then what is it?
 * Castiel: Deep down, you already know.
 * Dean: I'm dead.
 * Castiel: Condolences.

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 * Sam: Heaven?
 * Dean: Yeah.
 * Sam: OK, how are we in heaven?
 * Dean: All that clean living, I guess.
 * Sam: No, no... um. Okay, you, I get, sure. But me, maybe you haven't noticed but, um, I've done a few things.
 * Dean: You thought you were doing the right thing.
 * Sam: Last I checked, it wasn't the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions.
 * Dean: Yeah, well if this is the Skymall, it sucks. I mean, where's the triplets and the latex, you know? Come on, a guy has needs.

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 * Sam: This was my first real Thanksgiving.
 * Dean: What are you talking about? We had Thanksgiving every year.
 * Sam: We had a bucket of extra crispy and Dad passed out on the couch.

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 * Sam: Dad said they always had the perfect marriage.
 * Dean: It wasn't perfect until after she died.

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 * Dean: Wait a minute, wait a minute. This... this is the night you ditched us for Stanford isn't it? This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this is like one of the worst nights of my life.
 * Sam: I can't control this stuff.
 * Dean: Seriously? This is a happy memory for you?
 * Sam: I don't know, I was on my own. I finally got away from Dad...
 * Dean: Yeah, he wasn't the only one you got away from.
 * Sam: Dean, I'm sorry. I-I just...
 * Dean: Yeah, I know, you didn't think of it like that.
 * Sam: Dean...
 * Dean: Come on, your heaven is somebody else's Thanksgiving. Okay? It's bailing on your family, what do you want me to say?
 * Sam: Man, I never got the crusts cut off my PB&J. I-I just don't look at family the way you do.
 * Dean: Yeah, but I'm your family...
 * Sam: I know.
 * Dean: We're supposed to be a team. It's supposed to be me and you against the world...
 * Sam: Dean... it is.
 * Dean: Is it?

99 Problems [5.17]

 * Sam: [To Dean] No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90 percent of your personality.

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 * Castiel: [appearing behind Sam, his voice flat and slurring] I got your message. It was long, your message. I find the sound of your voice grating.
 * Sam: What's wrong with you? Are you... drunk?
 * Castiel: No! [brief pause] Yes.
 * Sam: What the hell happened to you?
 * Castiel: I found a liquor store.
 * Sam: And?
 * Castiel: And I drank it. Why'd you call me? ''[stumbles before Sam catches him]'
 * Sam: Whoa, there you go. Easy. Are you OK?
 * Castiel: [beckons Sam over before speaking into his ear] Don't ask stupid questions. Tell me what you need.
 * Sam: There have been these... these demon attacks. Massive, right on the edge of town. And we can't figure out why they're--
 * Castiel: Any sign of angels?
 * Sam: Sort of. They've been speaking to this prophet.
 * Castiel: Who?
 * Sam: This girl, Leah Gideon.
 * Castiel: She's not a prophet.
 * Sam: I'm pretty sure she is. Visions, headaches, the whole package.
 * Castiel: The names of all the prophets, they're seared into my brain. Leah Gideon is not one of them.
 * Sam: Then what is she?

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 * Dean: Well, what is she exactly?
 * Castiel: The whore.
 * Dean: Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think...

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 * Castiel: The Whore can only be killed by a true servant of Heaven.
 * Dean: Servant like...?
 * Castiel: Not you, or me. Sam of course is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else.

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 * Dean: I have no illusions. 'Kay, I know the life that I live. I know how that's going to end for me. Whatever. I'm okay with that. But I wanted you to know, that when I do picture myself happy, it's with you. And the kid.

Point of No Return [5.18]

 * Sam: What the hell, man? This is how it ends? You just... walk out?
 * Dean: Yeah, I guess...
 * Sam: How could you do that?
 * Dean: How could I? All you've ever done is run away!
 * Sam: And I was wrong every single time I did!

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 * Bobby: You can't give up, son.
 * Dean: You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes. [Bobby looks heartbroken and Sam gives Dean a disapproving head shake.]
 * Bobby: [Takes out a gun and a bullet]
 * Dean: What is that?
 * Bobby: That's the round I mean to put through my skull. Every morning, I look at it. I think, "Maybe today is the day I flip the lights out." But I don't do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!

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 * Sam: Adam, you may not believe it, but Dad was trying to protect you by keeping you from this.
 * Adam: Well I guess the monster that ate me didn't get that memo.
 * Sam: You remember that?
 * Adam: Oh yeah.
 * Sam: Still trust me. The one thing worse than seeing dad once a year was seeing him all year.

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 * Dean: I'm tired, man. I'm tired of fighting who I'm supposed to be.
 * Sam: Well, do you think maybe you could take a half second and stop trying to sacrifice yourself for a change? Maybe we could actually stick together?
 * Dean: I don't think so.
 * Sam: Why not? Dean, seriously tell me. I-I want to know.
 * Dean: I just... I don't believe.
 * Sam: In what?
 * Dean: In you. I don't-I don't know if it's going to be demon blood or some other demon chick, or what, but I do know they're gonna find a way to turn you.
 * Sam: So you're saying I'm not strong enough.
 * Dean: You're angry. You're self-righteous. Lucifer's gonna wear you to the prom, man, it's just a matter of time.
 * Sam: Don't say that to me. Not you, of all people.
 * Dean: I don't want to, but it's the truth and when Satan takes you over, there's gotta be somebody there to fight him. And it ain't gonna be that kid. So, it's gotta be me.

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 * Dean: [to Sam] I don't know if it's being a big brother or what, but to me, you've always been this snot-nosed kid that I've had to keep on the straight and narrow. I think we both know that's not you anymore. I mean, hell, if you're grown up enough to find faith in me, the least I can do is return the favor. So screw destiny right in the face. I say we take the fight to them and do it our way.

Hammer Of The Gods [5.19]

 * Kali: Westerners, I swear, the sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name, but you're not the only religion, and He's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us, and we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me.

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 * Lucifer: You know, I never understood you pagans. You're such petty little things. Always fighting, always happy to sell out your own kind. No wonder you forfeited this planet to us. You are worse than humans. You're worse than demons. And yet you claim to be gods. [snaps Mercury's neck and smirks] And they call me prideful.

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 * Gabriel: Lucifer, you're my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.
 * Lucifer: What did you just say to me?
 * Gabriel: Look at yourself... Boo hoo, Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys.
 * Lucifer: Watch your tone.
 * Gabriel: Play the victim all you want, but you and me, we know the truth. Dad loved you best, more than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So all this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up.

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 * Lucifer: [To Gabriel] You disloyal-
 * Gabriel: Oh I'm loyal. To them.
 * Lucifer: Who? These, so called gods?
 * Gabriel: To people, Lucifer. People.
 * Lucifer: So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches, why?
 * Gabriel: Because Dad was right. They are better than us.
 * Lucifer: They are broken! Flawed! Abortions!
 * Gabriel: Damn right they're flawed... But a lot of 'em try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearman Rhino. I've been riding the pine a long time, but I'm in the game now. And I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs.
 * Lucifer: [whispers] Brother, don't make me do this.
 * Gabriel: No one makes us do anything.

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 * Gabriel: [to Sam and Dean] Without me, you got zero shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry. But... you can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from, it's still down there, and maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You got to get the cage open, trick my bro back into it, and, uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey - details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know. But the key to the cage, it's out there. Actually it's keys, plural, four keys. Well, four rings... from the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage.

The Devil You Know [5.20]

 * Sam: You want to talk? After what you did to us?
 * Crowley: After what... what I did to you? I gave you the Colt!
 * Sam: Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't work against the Devil!
 * Crowley: I never!
 * Sam: You set us up. We lost people on that suicide run, good people!

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 * Crowley: Please, I've sold sin to saints for centuries. You think I can't close one little demon?

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 * Brady: See, War and Famine, even if I could cram the rings back on their bony fingers, I doubt it would do much good. They're withered husks right now, fetal position on the floor, all thanks to you. So I don't want the rings. What I want is retribution. And I'm going to rip it right out of your ass!

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 * Brady: What did you do?
 * Crowley: Went over to a demon's nest, had a little massacre. Must be losing my touch, though. Let one of the little toads live. Oops! Also might have given said toad the impression that you left your post last night because you and I are... wait for it... Lovers in League Against Satan. Hello darling. So now death is off the table. Now you get to be on the boss's eternal torment list with little old me.
 * Brady: Oh no, no, no, no. No!
 * Crowley: Something else we have in common, apart from our torrid passion, of course: craven self-preservation.

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 * Brady: What is this?
 * Dean: All those angels, all those demons, all those sons of bitches...they just don't get it, do they, Sammy?
 * Sam: No, they don't, Dean.
 * Dean: You see, Brady, we're the ones you should be afraid of.

Two Minutes To Midnight [5.21]

 * Castiel: [To Dean] You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.
 * Dean: Thank you... [says with a tiny bit of sarcasm]: I appreciate that..
 * Castiel: You're welcome.

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 * Dean: So please tell us you have actual good news.
 * Bobby: Chicago is about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.
 * Castiel: I don't understand your definition of good news.

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 * Bobby: The world's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little soul.
 * Dean: You sold your soul?
 * Crowley: More like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back.
 * Dean: Well then give it back!
 * Crowley: I will.
 * Dean: Now!
 * Sam: Did you kiss him?
 * Dean: Sam!
 * Sam: Just wondering.
 * Bobby: [awkward silence] No!
 * Crowley: [coughs, shows photo of him and Bobby kissing on his iPhone]
 * Bobby: Why'd you take a picture?!?
 * Crowley: Why'd you have to use tongue?

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 * Sam: So Pestilence was spreading swine flu.
 * Dean: Yeah, but not just for giggles. That was step one. Step two is the vaccine. And you think...?
 * Crowley: I know. I'll stake my reputation that vaccine is chock full of Grade A, farm-fresh, Croatoan virus.
 * Sam: Simultaneous countrywide distribution. That's quite a plan.
 * Crowley: You don't get to be Horsemen for nothing. So you boys better stock up on... well, everything. This time next Thursday, we'll all be living in Zombieland.

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 * Death: This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you.

Swan Song [5.22]

 * Dean: I'm on board.
 * Sam: You're gonna let me say yes?
 * Dean: No, that's the thing. It's not on me to let you do anything. You're a grown--well, overgrown--man. If this is what you want, I'll back your play.
 * Sam: That's the last thing I thought you'd ever say.
 * Dean: Might be.

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 * Sam: Take care of these guys, okay?
 * Castiel: That's not possible.
 * Sam: [sighs]'' Then humor me.
 * Castiel: Oh. I was supposed to lie. [Chuckles] Uh...sure. They'll be fine...
 * Sam: Just--just stop... talking.

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 * Lucifer: Sam. Come on. I can feel you. Scratching away in there...
 * [He walks towards a mirror.]
 * Lucifer: Look. I'm gonna take the gag off, okay? You got me all wrong, kiddo. I'm not the bad guy here.
 * Sam: I'm gonna rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?!
 * Lucifer: Such anger... Young Skywalker. Who are you really angry with? Me? Or that face in the mirror?
 * Sam: I'm sure this is all a big joke to you, huh?
 * Lucifer: Not at all. I've been waiting for you. For a long, long time. Come on, Sam. You have to admit, you can feel it, right?
 * Sam: What?
 * Lucifer: The exhilaration. And you know why that is? Because we're two halves made whole. MFEO. Literally.
 * Sam: It feels pretty damn far from good.
 * Lucifer: I'm inside your grapefruit, Sam. You can't lie to me. I see it all. How hot you always felt. How... out of place in that family of yours. And why shouldn't you have? They were foster care, at best. I'm your real family.
 * Sam: No, that's not true.
 * Lucifer: It is. And I know you know it. All those times you ran away, you weren't running away from them. You were running towards me. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, you know. I let Dean live, didn't I? I wanted him to live. I'll bring your folks back, too. I want you to be happy, Sam.
 * Sam: I don't want anything from you!
 * Lucifer: Really? Not even a little payback?
 * Sam: What's that supposed to mean?
 * Lucifer: Look closely. None of these little devils look familiar to you?
 * Sam: That's Mr. Bensmith... One of my grade school teachers...
 * Lucifer: And that's your friend, Doug, from that time in East Lancing. And Rachel. Your prom date. Sam Winchester, this is your life. Azazel's game. Watching you since you were a Rugrat. Jerking you around, like a dog on a leash. I know how you feel about that. Me, too. So what do you say you and I blow off a little steam?

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 * Chuck: In between jobs, Sam and Dean would sometimes get a day--sometimes a week, if they were lucky. They'd pass the time lining their pockets. Sam used to insist on honest work, but now he hustles pool, like his brother. They could go anywhere and do anything. They drove a thousand miles for an Ozzy show. Two days for a Jayhawks game. And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere, sit on the hood, and watch the stars... for hours... without saying a word. It never occurred to them that, sure, maybe they never really had a roof and four walls but they were never, in fact, homeless.

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 * Chuck: Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass.

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 * Sam as Lucifer: It's good to see you, Michael.
 * Adam as Michael: You, too. It's been too long.
 * Lucifer: Can you believe it's finally here?
 * Michael: No. Not really. Are you ready?
 * Lucifer: As I'll ever be. Part of me wishes we didn't have to do this.
 * Michael: Yeah. Me, too.
 * Lucifer: Then why are we?
 * Michael: Oh, you know why. I have no choice, after what you did.
 * Lucifer: What I did? What if it's not my fault?
 * Michael: What's that supposed to mean?
 * Lucifer: Think about it. Dad made everything, which means he made me who I am. God wanted the Devil!
 * Michael: So?
 * Lucifer: So, why? And why make us fight? I just can't figure out the point...
 * Michael: What's your point?
 * Lucifer: We're going to kill each other. And for what? One of Dad's tests? We don't even know the answer. We're brothers. Let's just walk off the chess board...
 * Michael: I'm sorry, I- I can't do that. I'm a good son, and I have my orders.
 * Lucifer: But you don't have to follow them.
 * Michael: What, you think I'm gonna rebel? Now? I'm not like you!
 * Lucifer: Please, Michael
 * Michael: You know, you haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself! We were together. We were happy, but you betrayed me, all of us, and you made our Father leave!
 * Lucifer: No one makes Dad do anything! He's doing this to us!
 * Michael: You're a monster, Lucifer. And I'm going to kill you.
 * Lucifer: If that's the way it's gotta be... Then I'd like to see you try.

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 * Chuck: So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God Himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt--endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it? [Smiles to himself before disappearing into thin air]

Cast

 * Jared Padalecki - Sam Winchester
 * Jensen Ackles - Dean Winchester
 * Misha Collins - Castiel
 * Mark A. Sheppard - Crowley
 * Jim Beaver - Bobby Singer
 * Matt Cohen - John Winchester
 * Samantha Smith, Amy Gumenick - Mary Winchester
 * Samantha Ferris - Ellen Harvelle
 * Alona Tal - Jo Harvelle
 * Chad Lindberg - Ash
 * Genevieve Cortese - Ruby
 * Nicki Aycox, Rachel Miner - Meg
 * Adrianne Palicki, Bellamy Young, Mark Pellegrino, Jared Padalecki - Lucifer
 * Richard Speight, Jr. - Gabriel/The Trickster
 * Rob Benedict - Chuck Shurley
 * Kurt Fuller - Zachariah
 * Jake Abel - Adam Milligan and Michael
 * Matt Frewer - Pestilence
 * Rachel Miner - Meg Masters
 * Emily Perkins - Becky Rosen
 * Cindy Sampson - Lisa Braeden
 * A. J. Buckley - Ed Zeddmore
 * Traci Dinwiddie - Pamela Barnes
 * Jon Gries - Martin Creaser
 * Julian Richings - Death
 * Travis Wester - Harry Spangler