Talk:Kin Hubbard

Unsourced

 * A good listener is usually thinking about something else.


 * A loafer always has the correct time.


 * About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.


 * All the world loves a good loser.


 * An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.


 * Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.


 * Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.


 * Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.


 * Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.


 * Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
 * Variant: Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.


 * Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.


 * If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.


 * If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.


 * If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.


 * It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.


 * It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.


 * It isn't enough for you to love money — it's also necessary that money should love you.


 * It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.


 * It's no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.


 * It's the good loser who finally loses out.


 * Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.


 * Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep an' it keeps on laughin'.


 * Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.


 * Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.


 * No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.


 * No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.


 * Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.


 * Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.


 * Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.


 * Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.


 * Some fellows pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.


 * The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.


 * The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.


 * The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.


 * The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.


 * The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.


 * The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.


 * The world gets better every day — then worse again in the evening.


 * There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?


 * There is nothing more aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.


 * Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.


 * We become actors without realizing it, and actors without wanting to.


 * Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speechmaker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?


 * You won't skid if you stay in a rut.