Talk:Milton Berle

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 * A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.


 * A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."


 * A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"


 * Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.


 * I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.


 * I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.


 * If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.


 * Laughter is an instant vacation.


 * The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.


 * You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.


 * They have a great new device for TV weathermen. It's called a window.


 * You can't believe everything you hear, but it's fun to repeat it anyway.