Talk:Programming

I think the quote about Java (linked to bash.org) is neither intelligent nor even vaguely correct. Any thoughts on removing it?

The David Heinemeier Hansson quote is awfully similar to a famous quote by Alan Kay. "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

Indirection quote
Isn't the thing about indirection solving all problems in computer science from David Wheeler?
 * Yes. Fixed, as cited by Lampson himself.  NealMcB 06:30, 15 December 2007 (UTC)

Original content
There's a LOT of made-up "anonymous" shit in this page. Google fuckin' everything. --201.11.169.43 19:16, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Anonymous/Unattributed

 * Estimate always goes wrong. That too in one way. (Sumit Agrawal)
 * 43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr Seek Error reading Drive C: Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail?
 * Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged demonstration.
 * Restatement of Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's Third Law
 * The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
 * Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.
 * C++, where friends can access your privates.
 * Computer programmers never die, they just become lost in the processing.
 * Computers can never replace human stupidity.
 * Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators.
 * Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much.
 * Eagleson's Law of Programming: Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months, might as well have been written by someone else.
 * Gilb's First Law of Unreliability: Computers are unreliable but humans are even more unreliable.
 * Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.
 * If God had intended man to have computers, he would have given him 16 fingers.
 * In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word "frustration".
 * Is a computer language with goto's totally Wirth-less?
 * Laws of Computer Programming:
 * Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
 * Any given program costs more and takes longer.
 * If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
 * If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
 * Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
 * The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
 * Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
 * On a clear disk you can seek forever.
 * Programmer (n): An organism that can turn caffeine into code.
 * Programmers get overlaid.
 * Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
 * Programming is an art form that fights back.
 * Programming would be so much easier without all the users.
 * The problem about all graphical programming languages is that when your project becomes complex, not only will you have spaghetti code, but it will actually look like spaghetti too.
 * Small programs are for small minds.
 * Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray. Sam Redwine (This is a quote from Samuel T. Redwine, Jr. made at 4th International Software Process Workshop and published in Proceedings of the 4th International Software Process Workshop, Moretonhampstead, Devon, U.K., 11–13 May 1988, IEEE Computer Society.)
 * There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who do not.
 * To err is human. To blame it on a computer is even more so.
 * Troutman's First Programming Postulate: If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
 * Troutman's Second Programming Postulate: The most harmful error will not be discovered until a program has been in production for at least six months.
 * Troutman's Third Programming Postulate: Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in improper order will be.
 * Troutman's Fourth Programming Postulate: Interchangeable tapes won't.
 * Troutman's Fifth Programming Postulate: If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
 * Troutman's Sixth Programming Postulate: Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
 * We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
 * Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive insane.
 * Writing it is easy, understanding it is hard.
 * Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
 * Your Zip file is open.

Debugging - Anonymous/Unattributed

 * Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug. Corollary: Every program can be one instruction shorter
 * The paradox of software testing: In theory, testing software for correctness is impossible. In practice, it is given to freshmen because it's the least demanding task available.

Weinberg's Law - seems to be 1982, or older
Looks like Weinberg predates Hall: - https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/7hvjkw/a_little_programmer_humor_from_1982/

Header
Header feels poorly written. – Ilovemydoodle (talk / e-mail) 12:14, 5 June 2022 (UTC)