Terriers (TV series)

Terriers (2010) was an American crime comedy-drama television series created by Ted Griffin for FX. Ex-cop and recovering alcoholic Hank Dolworth (Donal Logue) partners with his best friend, former criminal Britt Pollack (Michael Raymond-James) in an unlicensed private investigation business.

Pilot [1.01]

 * Britt Pollack: Holy shit! That’s the sex tape!
 * Hank Dolworth: Yep, porn on a phone.
 * Britt Pollack: iPorn!
 * Hank Dolworth: You what?


 * Robert Lindus: You and Mr. Pollack are private detectives?
 * Hank Dolworth: Well, on our tax returns it says we sell seashells by the seashore, but we moonlight. A bit.


 * Hank Dolworth: [giving Gretchen an alimony check] I swear it won't bounce.
 * Gretchen Dolworth: Your life bounces.


 * Britt Pollack: Aw, we've been in worse situations. I can't think of any off the top of my head, but they're there.
 * Hank Dolworth: No, not like this. I say we cut bait. And not like before. I mean we cut bait cut bait. We grab our fishing pole, we head down to San Philippe, and we throw away our fishing pole.


 * Girl: So you two are partners?
 * Britt Pollack: Well, we're only recognized in Vermont and Massachusetts.

Dog and Pony [1.02]

 * Hank Dolworth: As a rule I don't like getting my ass kicked for free.


 * [Hank borrows a jacket from a dry-cleaner to visit the track]
 * Hank Dolworth: This thing itches.
 * Britt Pollack: That because it belongs to a rich person.


 * Britt Pollack: It smells like your bedroom in here.
 * Hank Dolworth: That was a one-night thing, quit bragging about it."

Change Partners [1.03]

 * Woman: Makes you long for the days of an actual garage attendant.
 * Hank Dolworth: Yeah. It's machines taking human jobs. That's what happened with my job.
 * Woman: Yeah? What did you do?
 * Hank Dolworth: I used to be a microwave oven.

Fustercluck [1.04]

 * Hank Dolworth: Let me tell you something, man. An hour ago, the world was a bleak and pitiless place. And after a trip to prison... all seems right with the universe.


 * Britt Pollack: We frame a guy for a crime he did commit, and then somebody else comes along and frames him better? What, Captain Paranoid?! I mean, except about... The first part.

Manifest Destiny [1.05]

 * Britt Pollack: Okay, I'm gonna hit resume on the cruise control, pop the brake and then step back. You ready?
 * Hank Dolworth: Yeah, because I don't have to do anything.
 * Britt Pollack: ...right.

Agua Caliente [1.8]

 * [Hank and Gustafson are at the Mexican border crossing]
 * Hank Dolworth: A suspected felon with a kidnapped American in his trunk gets through right [snaps fingers] like that. We gotta wait.
 * Mark Gustafson: Well, you got 300,000 people that go through every day. Can't search um all.
 * Hank Dolworth: Usually the Mexicans don't search anyone. I say in this case resort to racial profiling. Let every clean cut Anglo-Saxon American male right through. Except, I'm not really clean cut, am I? And you're... you're Swedish?


 * Mark Gustafson: You get your sweatshirt?
 * Hank Dolworth: Yeah. Hey, Britt's in the trunk.

Asunder [1.10]

 * Blodgett: What can they do to her? They're in a hotel full of people.
 * Swift: Tell that to Bobby Kennedy.[off everyone's shocked stares]Oh, really? That's too soon?

Sins of the Past [1.11]

 * Laura Ross: My name is Laura Ross, I'm a reporter.
 * Mark Gustafson: For what paper?
 * Laura Ross: I don't work for Deadtree Media. I publish on the internet.


 * Hank Dolworth: As someone who has been sober for a long time... you have to go get drunk. Get shit-faced.
 * Britt Pollack: You're the worst sponsor ever.


 * Britt Pollack: I had a ride, but he bailed on me.
 * Hank Dolworth: Sounds like you could use a new partner. And a new line of work.

Quid Pro Quo [1.12]

 * Surfer: Doin' some target practice?
 * [Hank nods]
 * Surfer: Well, I'm gonna be surfin' that break out there so if you could keep that baby like, south of the curl.
 * Hank Dolworth: No worries, man. You're not the dude I wanna kill.
 * Surfer: Cool.

Hail Mary [1.13]

 * Hank Dolworth: You know what they say the best thing about prison is: ladies drink free.


 * Hank Dolworth: You do realize you don't have to go.
 * Britt Pollack: What?
 * Hank Dolworth: You don't have to go. I just take a left up here, hop on the freeway down to Mexico. In a couple of hours, we're sitting on the beach in Baja having margaritas.
 * Britt Pollack: You're gonna order a margarita?
 * Hank Dolworth: I'll fall off the wagon.
 * Britt Pollack: You'd do that for me?
 * Hank Dolworth: Yeah. And for another guy I know. [points to himself]