The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends (known as Rocky and His Friends during the first two seasons and as The Bullwinkle Show for the last three seasons) is an American animated television series that originally aired from November 19, 1959, to June 27, 1964, on the ABC and NBC television networks. Produced by Jay Ward Productions, the series is structured as a variety show, with the main feature being the serialized adventures of the two title characters, the anthropomorphic moose Bullwinkle and flying squirrel Rocky.

Squeeze Play or Invitation to the Trance

 * Narrator: And if that weren't bad enough, when the boys were on their way home, the two spies, Boris and Natasha, received their latest instructions.
 * Boris: Don't tell me. Let me guess. I'll bet it says, "Keel Moose", right?
 * Natasha: [reading the secret instructions as they are revealed] Right.
 * Boris: Okay!
 * [Boris cuts a rope, dropping a safe out a hotel window toward an unsuspecting Bullwinkle and Rocky below]
 * Natasha: ... But in front are two more words: "Do Not".
 * Boris: [reading the full message] "Do Not Keel Moose"... Oh, Boris, you impetuous boy. What have you done?
 * Natasha: Better yet, what will you do?
 * Boris: Save him! I've got to save him!
 * [Boris rushes down several flights of stairs as the safe continues to fall]
 * Narrator: Boris raced to beat the heavy safe to the ground, and he won!
 * [the safe lands on top of Boris just outside the hotel entrance, driving him into the ground with a crash]
 * Narrator: ... Almost. The heavy safe drove him into the ground like a tent stake! Bullwinkle's keen mind knew instantly what had happened.
 * Bullwinkle: Hey, up there! You dropped your safe!


 * Natasha: Boris, darling, you're alive!
 * Boris: [opening his coat to look at the audience] This is living?


 * Boris: Now, Mister Moose, tell me everything you know.
 * Narrator: So Bullwinkle told them everything he knew. All about his early days in the Minnesota woods, his days at the Philpott School for Exceptional Children, and he was exceptional, being the only student with antlers. His experience in the army where he served three years as a hat rack in the Officers' Club. On and on he went, without stopping for twelve hours. But true to their promise, Boris and Natasha didn't hear a word. [The spies are now sleeping on the couch, and Boris is snoring loudly] The steady drone had long since sent them to dreamland. [Pan to Rocky dozing on a wooden chair] Unfortunately, it had done the same thing to Rocky. And so, when Bullwinkle finally got to Grandma's recipe, the only people who heard it weren't people at all, but the two moon men!

The Scrooched Moose

 * Boris: [waking up and not noticing Bullwinkle's gone] Go on, go on, I didn't miss a wor... Where did he go?

The Submarine Squirrel or 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea

 * Rocky: (being fired at by American anti-aircraft weapons) Hokey smoke! They think I’m an enemy! (shouts towards the shooters) Hey! Cut it out! I’m friendly! Look I’m smiling! (to himself) Oh, if there was just some way I could tell them who I am!
 * Narrator: Then the brainy squirrel got an idea and began to fly in a special pattern.
 * Soldier: Look General! The object is spelling something out!
 * Narrator: Sure enough, the wily Rocky was using the smoke from the ack-ack bursts to spell out letters – a kind of polka dot skywriting.
 * Soldier: What’s it say, General?
 * General Broad Beam: (reading the letters through binoculars) U…S… (shouts to his troops) Cease firing! Don’t harm a hair on his head! That is a US taxpayer! We need every one of them we can get!
 * Narrator: So Rocky continued gliding toward the shore, this time with an honour escort of jet planes.

The Kerwood Derby
Borris and Fearless Leader are inside cabin; outside a cannon is pointed at Bullwinkle
 * Fearless Leader: If the Moose dies..the Plan dies...
 * Borris: SO?
 * Fearless Leader: If the Plan dies..Pottyslvania dies...
 * Borris: SO?
 * Fearless Leader: If Pottyslvania dies. YOU DIE...

Points gun at Borris

Bullwinkle Bellows Again or Moonin' Low

 * Narrator: Last time you remember Bullwinkle’s ukulele concert was interrupted by the appearance of thousands of monstrous moon mice, who began to close in on our friends until they were surrounded on all sides.
 * Bullwinkle: There’s another way to be surrounded?
 * Narrator: On the outskirts of the mob of moon mice were Boris and Natasha, who seemed to have lost control over the fearsome creatures.
 * Natasha: (Boris is examining the inner mechanisms of one of the mice) What you’re doing darling?
 * Boris: I’m checking wiring on this one Natasha. Hmm. Crossover terminal here. Overload plate there.
 * Natasha: (Points at and nearly touches one of the wires) Where does this wire go darling?
 * Boris: (Pulls her hand back from the wire) Natasha! Please! That may be live wire!
 * Natasha: How do I know if it’s live wire?
 * Boris: Well, if you touch it like this and it goes… (touches the wire, gets electrocuted and faints)
 * Natasha: Boris! Oh dear! Now I’ll never know if it’s live or not!

Calling Fearless Leader or Whistle for the Missile

 * Narrator: But a few thousand miles away from this love feast, Fearless Leader was preparing to make a trip to Peaceful Valley, in the fastest way possible – by rocket.
 * Fearless Leader: We mustn’t leave Badenov in charge too long! Fire one!
 * Professor: But Fearless Leader, I think…
 * Fearless Leader: Don’t think! Just do what I tell you!
 * Professor: Well, you’re the boss.
 * Fearless Leader: You’re so right!
 * Narrator: And in a moment, the sleek black missile was zooming skyward.
 * Sailor: Professor, it was a successful shot?
 * Professor: Perfect. Perfect. He’s in orbit right now.
 * Sailor: In orbit! But that means he can’t get down!
 * Narrator: It was true. The missile had gone into orbit and was circling the Earth at tremendous speed.
 * Sailor: Professor, what were you thinking of!
 * Professor: Nothing. Fearless Leader told me not to.
 * Sailor: (drags the Professor to a firing squad) Come along!
 * Professor: But I obeyed the orders of Fearless Leader!
 * Sailor: Congratulations! You will be the most loyal Pottsylvanian we ever executed!

The Deadheads or Feeling Zero

 * Fearless Leader: Gentlemen, we must find a way to make the name of Pottsylvania feared and hated throughout the world!
 * Senior Military Staff: Hear-hear!
 * General Gerhardt: You said it, Fearless Leader!
 * General #2: But why?
 * Fearless Leader: Why? Look at it this way.  Does Pottsylvania have any raw materials?
 * Senior Military Staff: No!
 * Fearless Leader: Do we make things?
 * Senior Military Staff: No!
 * Fearless Leader: Do we have any art or culture?
 * Senior Military Staff: No!
 * Fearless Leader: What is the only thing we got plenty of?
 * General Gerhardt: Nothing!
 * Fearless Leader: No!  Mean!  We have more mean per square inch than other countries have in a square mile!
 * General #2: And so?
 * Fearless Leader: So, we've got to export mean to every other country!
 * General #2: But to do that...
 * Fearless Leader: Yes!  Pottsylvania will declare war on everybody!
 * General #2: But anybody could beat us!
 * General #3: Yes!  Besides being mean, we're all cowards!
 * Fearless Leader: Tut-tut, gentlemen!  Here is the genius of my plan!
 * General Gerhardt: Hooray!
 * Fearless Leader: [aims pistol at him]  Not yet, Gerhardt; I'll tell you when.  We'll declare war on everybody, but we won't tell anybody!
 * [stunned silence]
 * Fearless Leader: [aims pistol again]  Now, Gerhardt.
 * General Gerhardt: Hooray!
 * Fearless Leader: [aims pistol at remaining generals] Now everybody!
 * Senior Military Staff: HOORAY!


 * Professor: Yes, gentlemen.  I call it, "Goof gas."
 * Senior Military Staff: Goof gas?
 * Professor: Yes.  One whiff, you're completely stupid.
 * Fearless Leader: Hmm, let's test it.  Gerhardt, take a sniff!
 * [the professor shoots Gerhardt]
 * General Gerhardt: Smells good!
 * Fearless Leader: Now, Gerhardt.  Do you think I'm the handsomest, kindest man in Pottsylvania?
 * General Gerhardt: Of course not.  You're a mean, ugly schnook.
 * Fearless Leader: Put that man under arrest!
 * Boris [narrating]: And poor Gerhardt was hauled off to solitary confinement.
 * Fearless Leader: My boy, your goof gas is a success.  Gerhardt turned into a complete idiot!
 * General #2: But his answer was right, Fearless Leader.  You are a mean, ugly schnook.
 * Fearless Leader: Of course!  But nobody but an idiot would tell me so!
 * Professor: True.
 * General #2: Well then, what country do we turn into nitwits first?
 * Fearless Leader: Hmm, let's pick an easy one.  The US of A.

Bumpers

 * Rocky: And now.....
 * Bullwinkle: HEY, ROCKY! Watch me pull the rabbit out of my hat!
 * Rocky: But that trick never works.
 * Bullwinkle: This time, for sure! Nothing in my sleeves......PRESTO!!! (Pulls out Rocket J. Squirrel) Well, I am getting close.
 * Rocky: And now, Here is something we hope you really love!

Rocky is juding a contest Bwtween Boris; Natasha; and Captain Peter peachfuzz Natasha is playing a balanika.
 * Boris: What a malady.
 * Rocky: Don't you mean melody?
 * Boris: Not the way she plays it.

An angry Natasha crowns Boris with the Balankia

Natasha wins first Prize.
 * Boris: The Last time she took something, the Judge gave her 90 days

An angry Natasha crowns Borris with the trophy