The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race is an American television reality game show in which teams of two people, who have some form of a preexisting personal relationship, race around the world in competition with other teams.

The Race Begins

 * Drew: You have to hit six numbers to get a live human being on the phone.


 * Kevin: It's amazing that you even got up this morning and tied your shoes.


 * Drew: Nothing's free, Kevin! We're in Africa! You go to the Statue of Liberty, is the guy giving these things [maps] away for free? For cryin' out loud! Free!


 * Drew: Zambia. That's where we are.
 * Kevin: That's Namibia, jackass.


 * Drew: You have to approach people in an affable, friendly way! You don't do it like you're in New York!


 * Leslie: We're in, what, seventh place?
 * Kim: I don't know, I can't do math right now.


 * Kim: God, there are a lot of bugs out in the jungle. Go figure.


 * Kevin: Swing, you fat bastard, swing!


 * Ana: Once a moron, always a moron.
 * Matt: Well, you fell in love with this moron.



Divide And Conquer

 * Karyn: When we win the money, he has to marry me.


 * Drew: What's this elephant?
 * Kevin: What elephant?
 * Drew: This little statue here.
 * Kevin: It's probably a little...a little tchotchke!


 * Kevin: You're gonna get the window, you jerk.
 * Drew: Don't worry about it.
 * Kevin: You think you're whatchamacallit from Wild Kingdom. Jackass.


 * Kevin: Is that an impala?
 * Drew: Get the camera, get the camera!
 * Kevin: It's a goat, it's a goat.


 * Leslie: Who wants to go to Paris? I don't want to go to Paris. I hate Paris.


 * Leslie: I'm looking for four [tickets]. And she's [Amie] not with me.


 * Guido: How the hell can they help us? We lived in Paris for two years!


 * Drew: How are you, buddy? You hangin' in there? Your legs hurtin'?
 * Kevin: I'm an idiot! I'm a friggin' idiot.
 * Drew: That's my boy. Always keepin' a sense of humor.

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 * Amie: You're a fat bitch!

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 * Leslie: She screamed at me like she'd scream at her boyfriend.

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 * Paul: How do they jump in our cab and just take it? In New York, they would have grabbed her out by the hair.

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 * Karyn: I'm really disappointed. Disappointed. Disappointed.
 * Lenny: What did you say?
 * Karyn: I'm disappointed.
 * Lenny: Well, that ain't nothing new.

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 * Emily: The only monument I know is that Arc d'Whatever.

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 * Leslie: I don't know where that little cute couple that hates our guts are.

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 * Karyn: You're not going to shake my hand? We're not out, and you're not going to shake my hand?

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Home For Some

 * Rob: Life is a game of minutes.

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 * Frank: Onward to victory!

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 * Amie: [while sleeping outside] Ah, this is the life.

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 * Kevin: We have no food, we have no water...we're all set.

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 * Drew: Good night, Kevin.
 * Kevin: Good night, Drew. [pauses] Good night, John-Boy.

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 * Nancy: Why didn't you go to the hotel?
 * Amie: What hotel?

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 * Drew: I just don't think the city's [Paris] anything special. I rate it no better than SoHo.

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 * Drew: Geez, why did I think it was gonna be an old guy who looked like Ben Franklin?

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 * Joe: I can't wait to see the big pendulum!

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 * Margarita: Do you need me?
 * Frank: I just need your brain, I don't need your emotions.

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 * Rob: The Guidos try to hold other people back with deceit and trickery.

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 * Joe: Bonjour! Bonjour! Hey, big strong guys like you, how come you're not doing the steps? Don’t you need a little aerobic exercise?

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 * Joe: They don’t know Paris, and they don't know where they're going.

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 * Joe: It would be just our luck to lose this thing in Paris when we lived here for two years.

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 * Drew: Who's better than us, here, on top of the South of France? With everybody lookin' at our behinds, no less.

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 * Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: Welcome. You are -
 * Joe: We're team number three!
 * Mayor of Les Baux de Provence: You are team number four.

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 * Brenda: Who knew that there were two Foucault pendulums in Paris?

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Colossal Showdown
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 * Margarita: It wasn't about not working together.

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 * Joe: It's about winning now. It's about winning and not letting anybody else win.

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 * Margaretta: David and I have been married for forty years. We're just doing our normal thing. There's nothing on this trip that will make or break us.

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 * Bill: Control the game, period. Play the game our way. Group Guido arranged the whole passage. No one can leave without this ticket. I controlled the group, intimidated the whole group by speaking French for two hours to the people that were there, also leaving doubt in their mind what I was doing. The other contestants? Of course, we're playing them like a violin, you know?

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 * Lenny: I want to rip their heads off and show them their hearts.

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 * Drew: What does it say? "Go Here"? Oh. I thought it said "Go Home".

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 * Paul: They were rippin' my skin off.
 * Amie: Really? Mine was pretty nice.

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 * Drew: You saw what that was like in Midnight Express.

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 * Joe: The first circle inside the big concentric circle!

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 * Emily: [after lighting the Coliseum on fire] Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, stop!

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 * Kevin: I thought I heard him. You can't miss that mouth.

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 * Kevin: Take the elevator to the Coliseum floor!

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 * Frank: Pit Of Death, here I come.

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 * Amie: I'll do it. I gotta pee, but I'll do it.

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 * Amie: Olympic torch, kiddos!

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 * Phil: David and Margaretta, you're the last team to arrive at this leg. You've been eliminated. I'm sorry to tell you that.
 * Dave: And I'm sorry to hear it. But I want to tell you, this is a tough group to compete against, and I don't think it's any disgrace to lose to them. They're all great people, and we did our best, and we wish them lots of luck.

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Desert Storm
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 * Drew: Alright, so what do you think that arrow means? I gotta pee, I might as well do it right here.
 * Kevin: It means go right, stupid. It means Drew is a dumbass.

We're Not At Charm School Learning How To Be A Gentleman, We're Racing

 * Kelly: You’re always right, I’m always wrong. We’re done. [sighs]
 * Jon: Kelly, go [bleep] yourself.
 * Kelly: What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? I’ll tell you what, Jon, you’re walking a thin line. This was a chance we decided to take, but you will not talk to me like that.

It Just Turned Ugly Right Now

 * Mirna: The prostitute would know where the discotheque is wouldn't she?

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 * Karen: Mirna & Charla are at a great disadvantage-
 * Linda: And their kickin' our butts!

Are You Good At Puzzles?

 * Marshal: Stop looking at the camel.

It's Okay, Run Them Over!

 * Colin: Detour, plow or fowl? What do you think, a thousand ducks?
 * Christie: The plow.
 * Colin: Start looking in through here, you know what I mean?
 * Christie: How are you doing it?
 * Colin: I can't control where he goes, baby.
 * Christie: Keep looking.
 * Colin: Which way?
 * Christie: Keep looking, on bottom.
 * Colin: You're not even helping me look, baby. You're just standing around.
 * Christie: There's not much I can do, baby. It's gonna be in the plowed area, it's gonna be deep. That's why you gotta be really looking, in the plowed area.
 * Christie: Do you understand?…
 * Colin: I UNDERSTAND!

<cut to Chip & Kim trying to find a way to get to Manila>


 * Colin: WHERE'S HE GOING?! NO, IN THIS FIELD!!! Oh my god.
 * Colin: MY OX IS BROKEN!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!

<cut to Chip & Kim getting on a bus to Manila>


 * Christie: Colin, is it impossible to control him?
 * Christie: Please answer me when I talk to you. If there's any way possible that you can not wander aimlessly…
 * Colin: Do you know how hard it is to look down and try to drive him? Do you know how difficult that is? It wasn't this hard for the other teams. I can guarantee you that much!
 * Christie: Grab the plow!
 * Colin: I CAN'T GET HIM TO GO OVER THERE!!!
 * Christie: Well, calm down…
 * Colin: WHY DO YOU KEEP TURNING?!
 * Christie: Colin, why don't you learn how to control it?
 * Colin: I'M TRYING!!!
 * Christie: Listen to yourself, no wonder you can't control it!
 * Colin: See, I can't make him go over there!
 * Christie: I don't want another word coming out of your mouth.
 * Colin: Oh my god, I hate you.
 * Christie: Just plow…
 * Colin: COME ON!!!

<escalating music, then commercial>


 * Colin: WOAH, WOAH!!! Stupid ox! No! STAY IN THE FIELD!!!
 * Colin: GET THE F*CK OVER HERE AND HELP LOOK!!!
 * Christie: It's so deep, Colin…
 * Colin: I DON'T CARE!!! WALK THROUGH WITH YOUR FEET UNTIL YOU FEEL IT!!!
 * Christie: (finds clue) It's right here.
 * Colin: Oh my god.
 * Christie: (reading clue) Find the Pit Stop, the Coconut Palace.

Tell My Mom I Love Her

 * Hayden: We have been just lollygagging and when I’m not high-paced and aggressive, we suck. Where do I go?
 * Aaron: Hayden, I have not a clue.
 * Hayden: How do you not know?!
 * Aaron: You are such–
 * Hayden: No! I’m not a bitch! I'm not any of that! We’re lost going out of here! Aaron, you need to do something or I’m going to hyperventilate!

Courteous? This Is A Race!

 * Ryan: Were about do take a zip line down the mountain. Were gonna be the first ones to load test it.

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 * Ryan: hey look out for the cactuses!

The Whole Country Hates Me

 * Lynn: Oh my god, I just got totally hated.

Do You Need Some Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation?

 * [Rob and Amber steal Debbie and Bianca's taxi]
 * Cab Driver: I'm waiting for them.
 * Rob: Oh no, it's okay. We'll take them. We're going to go with you. How much? How much did they pay?
 * Cab driver: Four.
 * Rob: I'm paying ten. Open it up.
 * [Rob and Amber drive away in the cab]
 * Rob: That'll teach them for accusing someone of lying.
 * Bianca: Debbie, do you see a cab?
 * Debbie: No.
 * Bianca: This is retarded. Now we got to catch another cab.

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 * Phil Keoghan: A roadblock is a task in only one person may perform. In this roadblock, that person has to eat a traditional Argentine meal. They consist of cow ribs, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow udder, an entire kidney, and part of a cow's saliva gland. Each person's portion weighs four pounds. When they finish eating, they'll get their next clue.

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 * [Deana takes the meat roadblock]


 * Lynn: Go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, go Deana, it's your vomit, go Deana.
 * Deana: What is all this stuff? I'm not going to-
 * Ray: Do your best.
 * Deana: My stomach ain't big enough for this.
 * Ray: We've made a terrible mistake.

What A Gaucho You Are
Alex and Lynn, Ron and Kelly, Uchenna and Joyce and Brian and Greg are on the first flight to Buenos Aires getting ready to depart.


 * Alex: Rob and Amber didn't make it, yay!
 * Lynn: I'm so excited that they didn't make it. Survive that.
 * [Rob and Amber gets on the plane for Buenos Aires]
 * Brian: No freaking way.
 * Greg: That's horsecrap!
 * Rob: Rob, how's your stomach? [laughing]
 * Kelly: Rob's strategy to quit worked and that just made me sick.
 * Lynn: If that had been any other team, they would have literally gotten an applause; but the fact that it was Rob and Amber, it was just terrible.
 * Alex: I hate them. I hate them so much.

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 * Lynn: The bottom line is they're [Rob and Amber] kind of like an STD. You gotta protect yourself from them and the only way you can do it is just keep yourself away from them.

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 * [Ray shows contempt for Meredith and Gretchen]
 * Ray: Those people don't belong in this game with us... I'm not losing to a 70-year-old man and his wife.

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 * [Susan and Patrick's boat stops working]
 * Patrick: We already know that we're in last place and that was the end of Patrick and Susan.

I've Been Wanting A Facelift For A Long Time

 * [Ray accidentally hits Deana's head with the pounding stick in the food and water detour]
 * Deana: Ow, Ray!
 * Ray: Deana.
 * Deana: You could at least apologize.
 * Ray: The problem is that we don't work together.
 * Deana: You can do this yourself.
 * Ray: That's right, give up!

Houston, We Have An Elephant

 * Kelly: You told me to "shut the 'F' up".
 * Ron: No, I didn't!
 * Kelly: You piece of trash redneck.

Mow 'Em Down Like Grass
Rob and Amber arrives first at the Lucknow mat only to find out that this is a double-length leg.


 * Phil Keoghan: Rob and Amber, Welcome to Lucknow.
 * Rob and Amber: Thank you.
 * Phil Keoghan: You guys probably think that this is the end of the leg,
 * Amber: But?
 * Phil Keoghan: I don't want to hold you up. I have your other clue.
 * Amber: Are you serious?
 * Phil Keoghan: You're still racing. This leg is not over.

We Have A Bad Elephant

 * [Uchenna and Joyce reach the Fast Forward and find out they have to participate in a head shaving ritual.]
 * Joyce: I knew that was coming. I freaking knew it!
 * Joyce: [Sobbing] It's already gone.

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 * [Amber's camel becomes uncontrollable]
 * Amber: Go! Go! Go! No! No!
 * Gretchen: Good, good he's going in the other direction. Go around the track the other way. [laughing]
 * Rob: Oh God, please no. Oh God no.

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 * Gretchen: We've got an obstinate camel!

The Devil Made Me Do It

 * Amber: We have no idea what a dervish is.
 * Rob: I think it's a topless woman.

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 * Ron: She [Kelly] really surprised me and I think I've seen everything that I want to see out of her on this race.

Five Continents, 25 Cities, And More Than 40,000 Miles

 * [Rob and Amber's cab is pulled over by the police]
 * Joyce: You gotta cooperate with the police. That's too bad.
 * Rob: That cop probably just cost us a million dollars.

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 * [The final three teams are in Jamaica performing the final detour of the race building rafts and Ron and Kelly are falling behind.]
 * Kelly: I want you to look at everybody else. They're a lot farther than us and look what they're doing.
 * Ron: I understand that. I've never built one of these before. That's what I'm trying to explain to you. When you figure out how to build one, you tell me.
 * Kelly: Smart "A".

We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches

 * Ticket Lady: It’s not okay.
 * Dustin and Kandice: Can we try? Can we please try?
 * Ticket Lady: [in a stern voice] I said the flight is closed.
 * Dustin: She’s just a bitch.
 * Kandice: She’s so unhelpful and so unkind.
 * Kandice: We just want to get out of here before I have to see ‘Bama.
 * Karlyn: That one can’t even look over here. [Karlyn flips the bird at Dustin and Kandice]
 * Lyn: Don’t do that. That’s ugly.
 * Karlyn: Sorry.
 * Rob: I can’t believe they [Dustin and Kandice] yielded ‘Bama, dude. That’s kind of crappy, dude.
 * Karlyn: We just won’t die, like roaches. [laughing] We gotta keep coming back.

I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

 * Drew: We're five years older, five years more out of shape.
 * Kevin: I was a circle then. I'm an oval now, I suppose.
 * John Vito: I've had enough of Rob and Amber. I think America may have also.
 * Joyce: I can't believe we're doing this again!
 * Uchenna: This is the chance of a lifetime twice.

EPISODE 1

 * Ari: [to donkey] If you lose this race for us, I'm going to kick your ass.
 * Ari: You listen right here. You make me lose this, I'm gonna cut you up and eat you.


 * Nathan: Gosh!
 * Jennifer: Come on sweetheart
 * Nathan: Gosh!gytttr
 * Jennifer: You can't yell like that!


 * Donkey: [Makes donkey noises]
 * Nathan: I don't know what's wrong with him.


 * Nathan: The freaks [Kynt and Vyxsin] just got ther

EPISODE 2

 * Ron: [to Christina] You need to lose some weight. [Bike falls] Whoa! I should've not made that comment.

EPISODE 4

 * Jason: If we don't get eliminated, we're gonna screw over the blondes [Shana and Jennifer].
 * Phil: Shana and Jennifer, you're team number six.
 * Jennifer: Whooo!

hy samran goraya wallcome my life he was a birag me dion