The Ant Bully (film)

The Ant Bully is a 2006 American computer-animated fantasy adventure comedy film written and directed by John A. Davis based on the 1999 children's book of the same name by John Nickle. The battle for the lawn is on. Taglines

Dialogue

 * [the teaser trailer begins as the bell rings for the interview]
 * Interviewer: Okay, auditioning for The Ant Bully, the role of terrified ant number 1,697.
 * [takes a cut, lying the quarter on the ground]
 * Female Ant: Run! Run! Run! Run for your lives! Destroyer is coming! I am terrified! [wailing, throwing the paper]
 * Interviewer: Thank you.
 * Male Ant 1: It is destroyer. Come with me if you want to leave.
 * Male Ant 2: Expecto Patronum!
 * Interviewer: [chuckling] Wrong movie!
 * Beetle: Run! Run, I say!
 * Interviewer: Uh, pardon me!
 * Beetle: Huh?!?! What?!?!
 * Interviewer: You are not an ant, are you?
 * Beetle: I can do ant!!!!
 * Interviewer: I am sorry! We need a red ant!
 * Beetle: I can do ant!!!!
 * [cut to the beatboxer ants]
 * Beatboxer Ant 1: You want me at number 1,697! I am going to send this destroyer straight to heaven!
 * Beatboxer Ant 2: You better believe that! Eenie-weenie, weenie-uh.
 * Beetle: Oh, no! The destroyer has come to destroy me because I am an ant now!
 * Interviewer: Excuse me. Did you just paint yourself red?
 * Beetle: No! [the red paint falls on the quarter] Yes.
 * Interviewer: Yeah, listen. The movie is called The Ant Bully.
 * Beetle: What about the bully role? I can do real me. Watch this. Yeah!
 * Interviewer: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The bully role has been cast already.
 * Beetle: Oh!!!! To who?!?!?!?!
 * [the interviewer clears throat, pointing the hand, then looking up at Lucas from toe to head]
 * Beetle: Hey, you are just a little kid! Aren't you the cutest thing?
 * [he begins to step on the red Beetle on the quarter]
 * Beetle: Oh, my goodness.
 * [the title card appears]
 * Beetle: I'm okay!
 * [he steps on the red beetle and the quarter]
 * Beetle: Cut.


 * [Zoc is trying to crack some rock in order to get fire crystals for his potion, disturbing ants that are trying to sleep]
 * 1st Ant: Hey! Hey, what are you doing?!
 * 2nd Ant: Yeah, this is sleeping chamber. Go to sleep!
 * 1st Ant: Don't make me come up there!
 * Zoc: [Insincerely] I'm so sorry. But I must have the final ingredient for my potion. Now, what's more important? Me completing my life's work for the salvation of the colony, uh, which includes you guys, or your sleep?
 * 1st Ant: Sleep. I'm going with sleep.
 * 2nd Ant: Yeah, the second one.
 * Zoc: Well, then I shall try to be very quiet. Clacktiel!
 * [With his staff, Zoc explodes the rock that he's on which makes some debris fall onto the sleeping ants.]
 * 1st Ant: That's it! I'm coming up there!
 * [A large rock suddenly lands on his head, making him unconscious]
 * Zoc: Fire crystals! At last! The final ingredient


 * [Zoc is working on his potion]
 * Zoc: I, Zoc, call upon the elements: the wind that blows, rain that falls, fire that burns! Deliver your awesome power and transform my potion! Clacktiel!
 * [He bangs fire crystals together but nothing happens, save for a measly wisp of smoke]
 * Hova: [clapping for Zoc] Yay! That was great, sweetie! I loved the smoke effect! [To Spindle] Didn't you, Spindle?
 * [Spindle chirps in agreement]
 * Zoc: Craznocks! [To fire crystal] Yyyoouu.... ROCK! Curse upon your children!
 * Hova: I don't think rocks have children, honey.
 * Zoc: [Throws fire crystal to the ground; sulkily] They won't now.
 * Hova: Okay, what's the matter?
 * Zoc: Hova, the potion is supposed to change color! It's not changing color! IT'S NOT CHANGING COLOR!! [Grabs two more fire crystals] I call upon the wind, rain, et cetera, transform my potion and Clacktiel!!
 * [Once again nothing happens, just smoke.]
 * Zoc: UUURRRRRGGGGGGGHHH!! [he angrily bangs them against each other a few more times] CLACKTIEL!! CLACKTIEL!! TICK-CLACKITY-CLACK!!
 * Hova: Oh, maybe you're pronouncing it wrong?
 * Zoc: How could I pronounce it wrong? I made it up!


 * Head of Council: Human. You have been brought before the council to face judgment for crimes against the colony. Read the charges!
 * Council Guard: "This human-destructor beast, hereafter referred to as Peanut the Destroyer, did willfully and with malice aforethought crush the food-storage chambers flood all of the lower hatching chambers and douse the colony with the dreaded yellow rain!"
 * [The ants collectively grimace in disgust]
 * Lucas: Hey, come on! I had to go!
 * Head of Council: [Banging drum] Sentencing of the human will be handed down by the queen herself.
 * [The ants bow as the Queen Ant appears]
 * Queen Ant: Greetings, my children... and to our unusual guest. A human that threatens the very existence of our colony.
 * Lucas: Wait a second! Wait, wait, wait, time out! How was I supposed to know ants have feelings or families or trials? You're just a bunch of stupid ants!
 * Ant #1: Destroy the Destroyer!
 * Ant #2: Throw him in the pit!
 * Little Ant: Let's eat him!
 * Zoc: No, wait! We are not mindless savages! This human should be studied... And then we'll eat him!
 * Ants: [Chanting] Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
 * Head of Council: Order! ORDER! [Banging drum]''
 * Queen Ant: Be still, be still! Tonight, we have a choice. We could destroy this human and make safe this day. Or we could change the nature of his human and perhaps create a brighter future for all ants! I am, there before, send the human to live and work in the colony, to learn our ways. He must.... become an ant!
 * Lucas/Zoc: What?!
 * Zoc: No! No, my Queen! What if he does not become an ant? Okay? I mean, come on!
 * Queen Ant: That would be.... regrettable.
 * Zoc: But-but who will teach him our ways?
 * Hova: [Stepping forwards] I will.
 * Zoc: Hova?!
 * Queen Ant: It is done. Let us continue our work.
 * [She disappears as the court begins to disperse]
 * Lucas: That's it?! How long am I gonna be like this?! I wanna go home! Wait! This is inhuman!
 * Head of Council: [Turning back to Lucas] Yes. It is.


 * Hova: [Crosses her heart] Cross my heart, I will not eat you.
 * Lucas: I said "cross your heart", not your butt!
 * Hova: I just did! See? [Does it again] Did it again! [to herself] Strange custom...


 * Fugax: Red one, Blech!
 * Kreela: What are you doing?! Why aren't you taking the red ones?!
 * Fugax: Well, it's actually quite simple, sugar-lips: I hate the red ones.
 * Kreela: Well, I loooove the red ones!
 * Fugax: Hate them!
 * Kreela: I love them!
 * Fugax: Hate, hate, hate!
 * Kreela: Love them!
 * Fugax: Hate!
 * Kreela: Love them!!
 * Fugax: Admit it, you find me attractive!
 * Kreela: WHAT?!
 * Fugax: Oh, how you tease me with that sweet talk!! [barks at her slovenly]
 * Kreela: Oh, you want some sweet talk?! [grabs Fugax by the antennas] Because I'll give you some sweet talk! Now grab a red one before I pull these off!
 * Fugax: WHOA, I NEED THOSE!!


 * Zoc: [stops Lucas from going into the ant hill] Hi, there. How are you?
 * Lucas: [intimidated] Okay?
 * Zoc: Okay? That's good. It's good to be okay. Listen, I just wanted to show you something if that's okay.
 * [The two walk on, before Zoc brings a potion out and shows it to Lucas]
 * Zoc: You know what this is? This is the potion that'll make you big again. I just wanted you to take a good long look at it, because this is the last time you will ever see it. [takes the potion away]
 * Lucas: [stammers] Wha... what do you mean?!
 * Zoc: I mean, there is no way I'm ever making you big again! [laughs] Ever! [suddenly serious] You are a threat to every ant in this colony. Especially to Hova.
 * Lucas: But I would never do anything to hurt Hova! I just--I... [sighs] I just wanna go home.
 * Zoc: Well, then, if I were you, I'd go find help someplace else, because there is nothing for you here.
 * [The crystal on Zoc's staff starts to glow in an attempt to scare to Lucas]
 * Zoc: Nothing.
 * [Lucas stumbles backwards, before running away as Zoc glares at him sternly]


 * [Zoc enters the room, humming happily to himself. Hova notices this, but doesn't see Lucas with him]
 * Hova: Where's Lucas?
 * Zoc: [feigning oblivion] Isn't he with you?
 * Hova: [confused] No.
 * Zoc: [pretending to call for him] Lucas? Lucas! Huh, that's weird. Well, he's probably off destroying some other poor, unfortunate colony. You know how they are, destroyers.
 * Hova: [sternly] Zoc, what did you do?
 * Zoc: Me?! Wh-what did I do?!
 * Hova: Where is he?!
 * Zoc: He's gone.
 * [Hova gasps and runs out to look for Lucas, but Zoc stops her]
 * Zoc: He led you into a trap, Hova.
 * Hova: There was no trap! He led us to food! He was trying to protect us from-from...
 * Zoc: Um, from what, Hova? What?
 * Hova: From something.
 * Zoc: [sarcastically] Oh, "something"! And I was worried it was from nothing! [angrily] He's blinded you, Hova!
 * Hova: [angrily] No, you are the one who's blind!
 * [Kreela and Fugax are seen to be awkwardly watching the confrontation]
 * Hova: You are so consumed by your hatred for the humans, you only see what you want to see!
 * Zoc: Oh, come on!
 * Hova: [calmer] Zoc, I see a young pupa, a human learning our ways, becoming part of this colony. Becoming an ant.
 * Zoc: Impossible.
 * Hova: Listen to yourself, Zoc! "A wizard knows no such word"! So, what are you now?! [on the verge of tears] Certainly not the ant I love.
 * [She begins to walks away from Zoc]
 * Zoc: Hova, I did it for you. For the colony.
 * Hova: You did it for yourself.
 * [She leaves]
 * Zoc: Hova, I... [hesitates not knowing to say]
 * Fugax: [standing up] He won't make it through the night alone.
 * Kreela: [sounding concerned] Fugax, your leg's broken.
 * Fugax: Yeah, well, I still got five good ones. Very good ones!
 * [He leaves as well]
 * Kreela: [as she's walking out] You know, I think he really was trying to protect us from something. See you, Zoc.
 * [She also leaves. Spindle goes to join the group, but not before giving his master a disappointed look. Zoc looks down to the floor, ashamed and alone]


 * Steve: Hey, Pukas, where you been? We've been looking for you. I think someone's overdue for a dogpile.
 * Nicky: Yeah, dogpile! He said "dogpile".
 * Steve: Stop saying everything I say, got it?
 * Nicky: Stop saying everything you say. Got it.
 * Steve: [grabs Nicky] That's it. How about I dogpile you?
 * Lucas Nickle: Hey! How about you leave him alone? What the craznocks is wrong with you?
 * Steve: What? How about you make me? Oh, that's right, you can't. Because I'm big and you're small.
 * Lucas Nickle: Yeah, I'm small. We're all small. But together, we're big.
 * Steve: You think these stupid losers are going to team up against me? I can do anything I want to them, and there's nothing they can do about it. And the same goes for you, Pukas. DOGPILE! [the kids still stand firm] I... said... DOGPILE!!!


 * [last lines]
 * [Zoc adds jellybeans falling to the ground making the ants overjoyed.]
 * Fugax: Sweet rocks!
 * [the ants start cheering as they eat the jellybeans]

Taglines

 * The battle for the lawn is on.
 * Stomping into theaters July 28
 * An epic battle of tiny proportions!
 * This Summer It's Crunch Time.

Cast

 * Julia Roberts as Hova
 * Nicolas Cage as Zoc
 * Meryl Streep as The Queen Ant
 * Paul Giamatti as Stan Beals
 * Zach Tyler Eisen as Lucas Nickle
 * Regina King as Kreela
 * Bruce Campbell as Fugax
 * Lily Tomlin as Mommo
 * Cheri Oteri as Doreen Nickle
 * Myles Jeffrey as Steve
 * Larry Miller as Fred Nickle
 * Richard Green as Wasp Leader
 * Jake T. Austin as Nicky
 * Don Frye as Soldier Ant
 * Ricardo Montalban as The Head of Council
 * Allison Mack as Tiffany Nickle
 * Rob Paulsen as Beetle
 * Mark DeCarlo as Fly