The Bad News Bears

The Bad News Bears is a 1976 film about an aging, down-on-his-luck ex-minor leaguer who coaches a team of misfits in an ultra-competitive California little league.
 * Directed by Michael Ritchie. Written by Bill Lancaster. Produced by Stanley R. Jaffe.

The coach is waiting for his next beer. The pitcher is waiting for her first bra. The team is waiting for a miracle. Consider the possibilities. taglines

Coach Morris Buttermaker

 * This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.

Amanda Whurlizer

 * Look, Buttermaker, you're not my father and I'll not move an inch to play baseball for you any more. So why don't you get back into that sardine can of yours and go, go vacuum the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? I've got business to take care of. You're blocking my customers with your car.

Dialogue

 * Buttermaker: Well, your mother and I didn't got along too well, Amanda. I liked her very much, though. I still do. As a matter of fact I'm just not the marrying kind. But I guess I handled it badly, huh?
 * Amanda: You handled it like shit!


 * Buttermaker: Those boys aren't very rough. You won't get hurt.
 * Amanda: That's got nothing to do with it. I'm almost 12 and I'll... I'll be getting a bra soon. [pause, looks at her chest] Well, maybe in a year or so. I can't be playing all dumb baseball.


 * Tanner: All we got on this team are a buncha Jews, spics, niggers, pansies, and a booger-eatin' moron!
 * Ogilvie: Tanner, I think you need to be reminded from time to time that you are one of the few people on this team who is not a Jew, spic, nigger, pansy or booger-eating moron. So you'd better cool it or we may be disposed to beat the crap out of you.
 * Tanner: Oh, yeah?
 * Ogilvie: Yeah. [they both fight]
 * Buttermaker: [stops both of them] Cut it out. Now guys, somebody’s gotta pay for this windshield, and I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.
 * Engelberg: Bullshit.


 * Buttermaker: [after the Bears lose 18-0] Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day.
 * Ogilvie: Yeah, it took several hundred years.


 * Buttermaker: [trying to console Ahmad after his errors in the first loss] There was nothing easy about those fly balls, Ahmad. They were tough chances! The sun was in your eyes!
 * Ahmad: Don't give me none of your honky bullshit, Buttermaker. I know they were easy.
 * Buttermaker: Let's not bring race into this, Ahmad. We got enough problems as it is.


 * Buttermaker: [looks at Tanner's black eye] What the hell happened to you, Tanner?
 * Engelberg: Tanner got into a fight.
 * Buttermaker: Who with?
 * Engelberg: The 7th Grade.


 * Tanner: Jews, spics, niggers, and now a girl?
 * Amanda: Grab a bat, punk!


 * Buttermaker: What if he tries something?
 * Amanda: I'll handle it.
 * Buttermaker: Rolling Stones, 11 years old.
 * Amanda: I know an 11-year-old girl who is already on the pill.
 * Buttermaker: Don't ever say that word again.
 * Amanda: Jesus! Just who in the heck you think you are?
 * Buttermaker: The goddamned manager, that's who!
 * Amanda: Big wow!


 * Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
 * Buttermaker: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.


 * Amanda: We could use a good outfielder on our team.
 * Kelly: Oh you call what you got a team?
 * Amanda: What you got against baseball anyway?
 * Kelly: Well the baseball you guys play is for faggots and old farts with nothing better to do with themselves.
 * Amanda: Well you must like those kind of guys you sure do hang around the field often enough!
 * Kelly: There's nice ass at the field, that's why I always hang around it.


 * Buttermaker: There is one thing I forgot to tell you guys. It's a league rule; cups and supporters. [tosses the jockstraps to his players] Gotta be worn at all times. Either you wear 'em and you play, or you don't wear 'em and you don't play.
 * Tanner: Can we stop this, already? We've got another hour of practice.
 * Jose: ¡Yo no me voy a poner esto! ¡Esto duele! (I'm not wearing this! It hurts!) [puts his back in the box]
 * Buttermaker: What? What are you saying?
 * Ogilvie: I've been brushing up on my Spanish as of lately, and I think he is saying something about, you know, his being Catholic, and it's a sin.
 * Buttermaker: Oh, for Christ's sake. [hands it back to Jose]
 * Tanner: I know what it is.
 * Engelberg: This is a free country. Let's be democratic, and take a vote.
 * Buttermaker: There'll be no voting, Engelberg.
 * Toby: What about Amanda?
 * Amanda: You ain't strappin' one of these things on me.
 * Engelberg: Well, if she don't wear one, I don't wear one! [throws his at Buttermaker] [the rest of his teammates agree with him]
 * Tanner: Anyway, it's too small.
 * Kelly: If she doesn't wear one, neither do I.
 * Amanda: What are you doing here?
 * Kelly: Some asshole changed my mind.


 * Turner: You tried to hit him, didn't you?
 * Joey: No, it just got away.
 * Turner: [slaps him] DON'T LIE TO ME!!! You tried to hit him.


 * Ballet Instructor: Young man, I am teaching a class here.
 * Tanner: Well, you ain't doing a very good job of it; no one here can dance for bat turds.
 * Amanda: Tanner, get the hell outta here! I will kill you! Get out! Go!


 * Engelberg: When we're through, can we go swimming?
 * Buttermaker: No! Don't jump in, Engelberg! You'll flood the valley!

Taglines

 * The coach is waiting for his next beer. The pitcher is waiting for her first bra. The team is waiting for a miracle. Consider the possibilities.
 * Together They Make It Happen!
 * A classic comedy about growing up!

Cast

 * Walter Matthau - Morris Buttermaker
 * Tatum O'Neal - Amanda Whurlizer
 * Jackie Earle Haley - Kelly Leak
 * Vic Morrow - Roy Turner
 * Joyce Van Patten - Cleveland, league manager
 * Ben Piazza - Bob Whitewood
 * Quinn Smith - Timmy Lupus
 * Alfred W. Lutter - Alfred Olgilvie
 * David Pollock - Rudi Stein
 * Chris Barnes - Tanner Boyle
 * Brandon Cruz - Joey Turner
 * Erin Blunt - Ahmad Abdul-Rahim
 * Brett Marx - Jimmy Feldman
 * Gary Lee Cavagnaro - Mike Engelberg
 * David Stambaugh - Toby Whitewood
 * Scott Firestone - Regi Tower
 * Jaime Escobedo - Jose Aguilar
 * George Gonzales - Miguel Aguilar