The Brothers Solomon

The Brothers Solomon is a 2007 American comedy film, starring Will Arnett and Will Forte.

Dialogue

 * [discussing plans for conception with their willing surrogate, Janine]
 * John Solomon: I literally cannot wait to feel myself inside you!
 * Janine: Whoa! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup!
 * Dean Solomon: Well, that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing."


 * [talking about the unfortunate luck a the end of one of Dean's dates]
 * John Solomon: So she got hit by a bus, huh? Poor girl.
 * Dean Solomon: Yeah, the bus took a pretty serious hit too. I mean she was a large girl. Comfortably in the 200s.


 * [discussing adoption options with agency representative and father]
 * John Solomon: Do you have any pictures of the kids? Something that we can... [points to picture of adoption agency representatives son] Oh, Dean. How about that little guy?
 * Dean Solomon: No friggin way! Under no circumstances. Hes got like Bells Palsy or something. [agency representative appears visibly upset]


 * [when trying to figure out a plan to conceive a child]
 * John Solomon: I think we maybe need to broaden our search to include less conventional methods of having a baby.
 * Dean Solomon: Like anal?


 * [hollering up a stairwell]
 * Dean Solomon: THERE YOU GO AGAIN, MAKING ME A BETTER PERSON!