The Country Wife

The Country Wife is an English Restoration comedy of manners from 1675 by William Wycherley.

Quotes from the play
call 'em, are only chary of their reputations, not their persons, / and 'tis scandal they would avoid, not men.
 * Your Women of honour, as you
 * Mr. Horner, I.i.167–169

the town, not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away; to taste the town the better when a man returns.
 * A mistress should be like a little country retreat near
 * Mr. Dorilant, I.i.218–219

and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome / woman agreeable without it.
 * Methinks wit is more necessary than beauty,
 * Mr. Horner, I.i.425–427

soldiers made constant and loyal by good pay, rather than by oaths and covenants, therefore I'd advise my friends to keep rather than marry;
 * Women, as you say, are like
 * Mr. Horner, I.1.464–467


 * 'Tis my maxim, he's a fool that marries; but he's a greater that does not marry a fool.
 * I.1.420.

Gathers together more gazers than if it shined out.
 * A beauty masked, like the sun in eclipse,
 * Alithea, III.i.

 of plays, and players, when I came in? you are her encourager in such discourses. the player men. them, there is no hurt in't —
 * [Mr. Pinchwife tells Mrs. Pinchwife of the pleasures of the town]
 * Mr. Pinchwife: But were you not talking
 * Mrs. Pinchwife: No indeed, Dear, she chide me just now for liking
 * Mr. Pin.: Nay, if she be so innocent as to own to me her liking

Folks. I hate a stranger. be like the naughty town women, who only hate their husbands, and love every man else, love plays, visits, fine coaches, fine clothes, fiddles, balls, treats, and so lead a wicked town-life. London is not so bad a place, Dear. of the town, and he is now setting her agog upon them himself. player men too? in the country?
 * [Aside]
 * Come my poor rogue, but thou lik'st none better than me?
 * Mrs. Pin.: Yes indeed, but I do, the Player Men are finer
 * Mr. Pin.: But you love none better than me?
 * Mrs. Pin.: You are mine own Dear Bud, and I know you,
 * Mr. Pin.: Ay, my Dear, you must love me only, and not
 * Mrs. Pin.: Nay, if to enjoy all these things be a town-life,
 * Mr. Pin.: How! If you love me, you must hate London.
 * Alithea: The fool has forbid me discovering to her the pleasures
 * Mrs. Pin.: But, Husband, do the town-women love the
 * Mr. Pin.: Yes, I warrant you.
 * Mrs. Pin.: Ay, I warrant you.
 * Mr. Pin.: Why, you do not, I hope?
 * Mrs. Pin.: No, no Bud; but why have we no player-men
 * II.i.67–96

 something more than bare "Sir". this penknife in your face. kisses and embraces — Write he had a sweet breath. Though I suffer'd last night your kisses and embraces — not, or I will spoil thy writing with this, I will stab out those eyes that cause my mischief.
 * [The penknife scene]
 * Mr. Pinchwife: Come begin — Sir —
 * [Dictates.]
 * Mrs. Pinchwife: Shan't I say, "Dear Sir"? You know one says always
 * Mr. Pin.: Write as I bid you, or I will write "whore" with
 * Mrs. Pin.: Nay good Bud — Sir —
 * [She writes.]
 * Mr. Pin.: Though I suffer'd last night your nauseous, loath'd
 * Mrs. Pin.: Nay, why should I say so, you know I told you,
 * Mr. Pin.: Write.
 * Mrs. Pin.: Let me but put out, loath'd.
 * Mr. Pin.: Write I say.
 * Mrs. Pin.: Well then.
 * [Writes.]
 * Mr. Pin.: Let's see what have you writ?
 * [Takes the paper, and reads.]
 * Thou impudent creature, where is nauseous and loath'd?
 * Mrs. Pin.: I can't abide to write such filthy words.
 * Mr. Pin.: Once more write as I'd have you, and question it
 * [Holds up the penknife.]
 * Mrs. Pin.: O Lord, I will.
 * IV.ii.92–114

 I followed you must know my Lady Fidget hither, 'tis the prettiest lodging, and I have been staring on the prettiest pictures. pretty'st piece of china, my Dear. don't think to give other people china, and me none, come in with me too. before now, but you shan't put me off so, come — has no more left. find. not have had it too, for we women of quality never think we have china enough. but I will have a Rol-waggon for you too, another time. understanding.
 * [The china scene – The husband of Lady Fidget and the grandmother of Mrs. Squeamish are listening front stage and nodding in approval, failing to pick up the double entendre which is obvious to the audience.]
 * Mrs. Squeamish: I can't find 'em — Oh are you here, Grandmother,
 * Enter Lady Fidget with a piece of china in her hand, and Horner following.
 * Lady Fidget: And I have been toyling and moyling, for the
 * Mr. Horner: Nay she has been too hard for me do what I could.
 * Squeam.: Oh Lord I'll have some china too, good Mr. Horner,
 * Hor.: Upon my honour I have none left now.
 * Squeam.: Nay, nay I have known you deny your china
 * Hor.: This Lady had the last there.
 * La. Fid.: Yes indeed Madam, to my certain knowledge he
 * Squeam.: O but it may be he may have some you could not
 * La. Fid.: What d'y think if he had had any left, I would
 * Hor.: Do not take it ill, I cannot make china for you all,
 * Squeam.: Thank you dear Toad.
 * [To Horn, aside.]
 * La Fid.: What do you mean by that promise?
 * Hor.: Alas she has an innocent, literal
 * [Apart to Lady Fidget.]
 * IV.iii.183–207

 our two bottles, let us speak the truth of our hearts. sure. On the pittance of Pleasure which they only give. We must not rejoice, With Wine and with noise. In vain we must wake in a dull bed alone. Whilst to our warm Rival the Bottle, they're gone. Then lay aside charms, And take up these arms.''
 * [The ladies' drinking scene ¬– The "brimmer" is a drinking cup passing from hand to hand.]
 * Lady Fidget: Now Ladies, supposing we had drank each of us
 * Mrs. Dainty Fidget and Mrs. Squeamish: Agreed.
 * La. Fid.: By this brimmer, for truth is nowhere else to be / found,
 * Not in thy heart false man.
 * [Aside to Hor.]
 * Mr. Horner: You have found me a true man I'm
 * [Aside to Lady Fid.]
 * La. Fid.: Not every way —
 * [Aside to Hor.]
 * But let us sit and be Merry.
 * Lady Fidget sings.
 * ''Why should our damnd Tyrants oblige us to live,

Because we live sober to men we submit. If for Beauties you'd pass. Take a lick of the Glass. 'Twill mend your complexions, and when they are gone, The best red we have is the red of the Grape. Then Sisters lay't on. And dam a good shape.''
 * '' 'Tis Wine only gives 'em their Courage and Wit,

plain dealing, let us throw our masques over our heads. sighted. eyes, drink eunuch. husband.
 * Dayn.: Dear Brimmer, well in token of our openness and
 * Hor.: So 'twill come to the glasses anon.
 * Squeam.: Lovely Brimmer, let me enjoy him first.
 * La. Fid.: No, I never part with a gallant, till I've tried / him. Dear Brimmer that mak'st our husbands short
 * Dayn.: And our bashful gallants bold.
 * Squeam.: And for want of a gallant, the butler lovely in our
 * La. Fid.: Drink thou representative of a husband, damn a
 * Dayn.: And as it were a husband, an old keeper.
 * Squeam.: And an old grandmother.
 * Hor.: And an English bawd, and a French surgeon.
 * V.iv.19–55

 reported yourself no man? love, and honour, you passed for that thing you do? and there's an end on't. us not fall out, but have a care of our honour; though we get no presents, no jewels of him, we are savers of our honour, the jewel of most value and use, which shines yet to the world unsuspected, though it be counterfeit. the world think so; for honour, like beauty now, only depends on the opinion of others.
 * [Squeamish, Dainty, and Lady Fidget have realized that that Horner is the secret lover of them all.]
 * Mrs. Squeamish: Did you not tell me, 'twas for my sake only, you
 * [Aside to Horner.]
 * Mrs. Dainty Fidget: Oh wretch! Did you not swear to me, 'twas for my
 * [Aside to Horner.]
 * 'Mr. Horner': So, so.
 * Lady Fidget: Come, speak Ladies, this is my false villain.
 * Squeam.: And mine too.
 * Dayn.: And mine.
 * Hor.: Well then, you are all three my false rogues too,
 * La. Fid.: Well then, there's no remedy, sister sharers, let
 * Hor.: Nay, and is e'en as good, as if it were true, provided
 * V.iv.159–176

Quotes about the play
"The only thing original about Wycherley, the only thing which he could furnish from his own mind in inexhaustible abundance, was profligacy. It is curious to observe how everything that he touched, however pure and noble, took in an instant the colour of his own mind. Compare the Ecole des Femmes [Molière's School For Wives] with the Country Wife. Agnes [in the School For Wives] is a simple and amiable girl, whose heart is indeed full of love, but of love sanctioned by honour, morality, and religion. Her natural talents are great. They have been hidden, and, as it might appear, destroyed by an education elaborately bad. But they are called forth into full energy by a virtuous passion. Her lover, while he adores her beauty, is too honest a man to abuse the confiding tenderness of a creature so charming and inexperienced. Wycherley takes this plot into his hands; and forthwith this sweet and graceful courtship becomes a licentious intrigue of the lowest and least sentimental kind, between an impudent London rake and the idiot wife of a country squire. We will not go into details. In truth, Wycherley's indecency is protected against the critics as a skunk is protected against the hunters. It is safe, because it is too filthy to handle and too noisome even to approach." (Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1841)
 * Context: A famous and extreme outburst of Victorian distaste for Wycherley, in a review of Leigh Hunt's edition of Wycherley and other comic dramatists of the Restoration.

"When the play concludes with no poetical justice that makes Horner really impotent, leaving him instead still potent and still on the make, the audience laughs at its own expense: the women of quality nervously because they have been misogynistically slandered; the men of quality nervously because at some level they recognize that class solidarity is just a pleasing fiction" (Canfield, p. 128).