The Devil's Rejects

 The Devil's Rejects is a 2005 film written and directed by Rob Zombie. The story is a followup to the previous film House of 1000 Corpses, that chronicles an unstable texas Sheriff hunting a family of psychotic killers who previously murdered his brother and numerous other innocents in a western themed thriller.

Sheriff John Quincy Wydell

 * Gentlemen, let's do what God made us to do!


 * From the illusion lead me to truth. From darkness lead me to light.  From death lead me to eternal life. [He nails Otis' hands into the arms of a chair] Hallelujah! Are you feeling it brother?!


 * [Talking to himself in mirror] You know I got to tell you, that's some catchphrase you got there, Devil's Rejects. What? You got something to say to me clown, huh. I bet you scare lots of folks, don't ya?  Yeah, regular fuckin' killer. You want a piece of this motherfucker? You want a piece of this?  Huh, what you got! What you got! Lord I am your arm of justice. Lord I am your arm of justice. Lord I am your arm of justice. Your righteous sword of vengeance. Let my blows be true.

Captain Spaulding

 * [While hijacking a car with a boy inside] What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? [Kid shakes his head "no"] Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer because I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your mama... and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family.


 * [While Wydell talks about his dead brother during torture] Yeah I remember him. Stupid Fuck just like you. All I had to do was point him in a direction and there he went. Officer Wy-fuckin'-dell to the rescue.

Dialogue

 * Candy: What you lookin' at?
 * Otis B. Driftwood: I'm lookin' at you, mama.
 * Candy: Yeah, you see something you like?
 * Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed.
 * Candy: Oh I don't disappoint.


 * Baby: [dancing in front of Otis and the hostages] Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these. [repeated 4x]
 * Otis: Hoss, are you staring at my sister thinking bad thoughts?
 * Roy: No,
 * Otis: Well, why not- are you a faggot?
 * Roy: No.
 * Otis: Well, what are ya then? I mean you got this hot, piece of ass shaking her shit right in front of you and you're not getting any ideas. What do you call that?
 * Roy: I'm a married man.
 * Otis: Oh, a married fuckin' man. Hey, that's just great! Let's give him a big round of applause, folks for the married man! come on! [he and Baby clap and laugh]
 * Baby: Wow! married man!
 * Otis: All right. wow. okay, mama, front and center, on your feet.
 * Roy: Don't hurt her.
 * Otis: Get on your feet. Come on. Let's go.
 * Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane.
 * Otis: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit, 'cause it's definitely gettin' chiseled on your tombstone. okay, come on, Mama. Take that shit off, let's see what's been holding Hoss's balls at attention all these years.
 * Gloria: What?
 * Otis: What? Take off your clothes, or one of these assholes is going to die. Come on, come on.
 * Baby: Shit, way to go, Roy! she ain't too bad. She got a tight little ass on her!
 * Otis: And she got some child-rearing hips. Huh, yeah, hey.
 * Gloria: Please don't hurt me. please don't hurt me.
 * Otis: Here, ooh, Jeez. Roy, beginning to see what you mean. Whoa.
 * Gloria: Please don't hurt me.
 * Otis: You like this, don't ya? Say "Yes, I do. " You like that, don't ya? Say "Yes, I do. " Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
 * Gloria: Yes, I... I do.
 * Otis: Okay. Okay, now. Give me some sugar. Make it sweet. Don't want me to tense up my trigger finger. My finger's getting tense... I want you to say, "You're the almighty devil, and I want you to make me my filthy whore. " Come on, say it. Come on I know. I know you're feeling it. I know you're feeling it. Say it.
 * Gloria: You're... the... almighty... devil and I want you... to make me your... fucking whore.
 * Otis: You make me sick.
 * Baby: Woo-hoo! I feel like we're all really getting to know each other now.
 * Otis: All right, ladies. Me and the boys have an errand to run. We'll be back in a little while. Come on, Hoss, move it. Come on, shit stain! Gotta go! Come on! God damn it!


 * Baby: Meow! Meow. Hey, pussycat. Hey, got a light?
 * Roy Sullivan: No, uh, I don't smoke. My doctor says I got lungs like a professional athlete.
 * Baby: Ah, I get it. You wanna live forever.
 * Roy Sullivan: Yeah yeah, well...
 * Baby: So what, are you on vacation all by yourself or something?
 * Roy Sullivan: Yeah... no. I'm actually out here with my singing group. I do the lead singing for it. It's called "Banjo and Sullivan. " I used to sing with Johnny Cash. He shook my hand.
 * Baby: I love famous people. They're so much better than the real thing.
 * Roy Sullivan: Well, yeah, I suppose they are.
 * Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.
 * Roy Sullivan: Would you say that again?
 * Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.

[mutual laughter]
 * Roy Sullivan: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?
 * Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.
 * Roy Sullivan: Don't tell me that! What? Say that again.
 * Baby: That I ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.


 * Susan: Come on, honey. Mommy has to get to work. If I'm late one more time, Mr. McDonnell is gonna can my ass.
 * Jamie: I am hurrying! I dropped something.
 * Susan: Will you get in the car?! Okay, come on, let's go get in.
 * Jamie: Mom, a clown.
 * Susan: Yeah yeah, a clown. Oh... hi.
 * Captain Spaulding: Hi I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.

[mutual laughter]
 * Susan: What's that about clown business?

[laughs nervously]
 * Captain Spaulding: [pause] Do I stutter, bitch?
 * Susan: Jamie, get in the car. Lock the door.
 * Captain Spaulding: Where the hell you going? Damn it. Don't you never turn your back on a fucking clown when he's talking to you!
 * Susan: Get your fucking hands off of me!
 * Captain Spaulding: What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns?
 * Jamie: No...
 * Captain Spaulding: Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.
 * Jamie: Please...
 * Captain Spaulding: All right, now get your fuckin' ass out the car. Go on. Yayayayayaya! Shit! Wow!


 * Sheriff John Wydell: What's going on, shitheads?
 * Rondo: Sheriff....
 * Sheriff John Wydell: (hands Rondo a piece of paper) Here's a list of names I need you to run down for me.
 * Rondo:[Looks at the paper, and starts chuckling] That's some funny-ass names! Haha!
 * Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah, look who's fuckin' talkin' "Rondo". Just let me know if anything connects.
 * Billy Ray Snapper: I'm sure it will. Shit always floats our way, don't it...."Chief"?
 * Sheriff John Wydell: Well, if you keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'll catch it all....don't fuck this up assholes.
 * Rondo: Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road! Haha.


 * Charlie Altamont: Oh...yeah! Lord have mercy!! What a mornin'!! Clevon!!
 * Clevon: Yeah boss?
 * Charlie Altamont: You know why I come here to get these chickens?
 * Clevon: No boss.
 * Charlie Altamont: 'Cuz my brother makes the best fried chicken in the world!
 * Clevon: Is that right?
 * Charlie Altamont: (to Darrell) Yeah, good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' sir! How are ya!
 * Darrell: How're you all doin? G'morning.
 * Charlie Altamont: Good, good, good, whatcha got for me?
 * Darrell: We got these, uh, real cute barred rock chickens.
 * Charlie Altamont: Yeah! I see it!
 * Darrell: Some nice, long-legged Rhode Island Reds.
 * Charlie Altamont: RHODE ISLAND RED!! I like that, huh! I want a Rhode Island red for me, all right? Two of 'em.
 * Darrell: Rhode Island Red...two. (long pause, scratches his nose) Now ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya?
 * Charlie Altamont: (after a long pause) What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens?
 * Darrell: Well, I thought about fuckin' some chickens before, eh? If you want to have a good time and you need some pussy, you can (motions with his hands) cut that chicken's head off, stick yo' dick in the ass of that chicken, and that damn chicken'll go crazy on your ass and go "Caaaaah".
 * Charlie Altamont: Are you saying that I would cut off a chicken's head, put my dick in it, fuck it...and go "Aah"? You accuse me of fucking a chicken, motherfucker?
 * Darrell: Nah, I ain't--I ain't callin' you a chicken fucker but...that boy over there looks se--sexually frustrated, and I don't approve of chicken fucking.
 * Clevon: Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't--he called me a fucking chicken fucker!
 * Darrell: I didn't say--
 * Charlie Altamont: Everybody just stop yappin' and grab the fuckin' chickens, Clevon! (to Darrell) Here, five.
 * Darrell: Appreciate it...thank y'all.
 * Clevon: Chickenf--He's the chicken fucker!!!
 * Charlie Altamont: That's all right. Put 'em back there. Next time we go someplace else.
 * Clevon: We ain't never buying chickens from him again, boss!
 * Charlie Altamont: Yeah, I know, I know.
 * Clevon: (yelling back to Darrell, and giving the finger) You inbred! Inbred!!

[Otis and Baby invade a motel room, taking hostages]
 * Baby: Goddamn it, look at that jacket.
 * Otis: What?
 * Baby: On TV.
 * Otis: Wha--fuck the TV!
 * Baby: Fuck the TV? Fuck you!
 * Otis: Hey fuck you, will you just keep your head in the business at hand here?


 * Marty Walker: That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley.
 * Sheriff John Wydell: What'd you say about the King?!
 * Marty Walker: I said he died three days before Grouch...

[Wydell grabs Walker]
 * Sheriff John Wydell: Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you! you get this Hollywood-loving pussy out of my face.
 * Marty Walker: Elvis is in Hollywood!
 * Sheriff John Wydell: Get the hell outta here!
 * Marty Walker: His first film...
 * Sheriff John Wydell: Get out!
 * Marty Walker: "Love Me Tender," was based on an Irish folk song!
 * Sheriff John Wydell: F*ck Groucho!


 * Fanny: Poopy! What do you need a gun for? Where are we going?
 * Captain Spaulding: You ain't going nowhere, bitch.
 * Fanny: Oh, Poopy! Where are you going?
 * Captain Spaulding: Get out of my fucking way!
 * Fanny: Poopy, no!
 * Sheriff John Wydell: If you're out there listening to this, I got a message for ya. I'm coming to get ya. You can't run forever. You're gonna have to stop somewhere, sometime, and when you do I'm gonna be there to put the wrath of the Lord up your ass.
 * Fanny: Poopy, don't go!
 * Captain Spaulding: God damn it, stop calling me Poopy! Leave me alone, woman!
 * Fanny: I want my Poopy!
 * Captain Spaulding: Leave me alone!
 * Fanny: Poopy, no!