The Drowsy Chaperone

The Drowsy Chaperone is a musical with book by Bob Martin and Don McKellar and music and lyrics by Lisa Lambert and Greg Morrison. It is a parody of American musical comedy of the 1920s.

Man in Chair

 * Yes, it's the flimsy plot device that gets the plot going.


 * Try not to think of the poodles.


 * Are you surprised to hear I was married? Well..."


 * During an accident at a performance of "The Drowsy Chaperone" in which the murphy bed containg The Drowsy Chaperone and Aldolpho broke: Rent-controlled apartment. You get what you pay for.


 * We have a bride who’s giving up the stage for love, her debonair bridegroom, a harried producer, jovial gangsters posing as pastry chefs, and an aviatrix - what we now call a lesbian.


 * re: actor playing Aldolpho and the Chinese emperor: He was the man of 1,000 accents, all of them offensive.


 * ""So, that was the Drowsy Chaperone. Oh, I love it so much! I-uh-I know it is not a perfect show, the spit-take scene is lame and the monkey motif is labored...but it does what a musical is supposed to do! It takes you to another world and it..it gives you a little tune to carry in your head for...for...when you're feeling blue, you know? As we stumble along on life's funny journey. As we stumble along into the blue."

The Drowsy Chaperone
7 underwhelming seas 6 excruciating continents. (spoken) Antarctica? Oh, please.
 * (sung) 7 overrated wonders

Others
George: (referring to rollerskating) That's what I do when I wanna blow off steam! 

Kitty: Pick a number between 1 and 3... 

Feldzeig: No matter how well you play the part of the happy wife, you will never ever get a standing ovation! 

That's the trouble with life. You're happy for 5 seconds, then something starts ringing.

Dialogue

 * Man in Chair: She was an alcoholic,
 * The Drowsy Chaperone: (sung) We look here. and we look there
 * Man in Chair: (spoken) Her character was I mean.
 * The Drowsy Chaperone: (sung) Searching answers everywhere. Never know where to turn or what to do.
 * Man in Chair: (spoken) To be honest she drank too.




 * Kitty: Ooh! What's goin on here?
 * Feldzeig: I'm developing a new act with the pastry chefs.
 * Gangsters: (sung) Toledo surprise!
 * Kitty: (spoken) You mean you're putting gangsters in the show but you won't put me in it? They're not even in the union!
 * Feldzeig: Shh... not so loud. the new act, its for you, Kitty. And these boys are your backup dancers!
 * Kitty: Backup dancers? Holy Cats!




 * Janet: The wedding is off! Robert kissed a French girl. Her name is Mimi. She's very beautiful.
 * Robert: I couldn't help it, Janet! She was just like you — only French!




 * Man in Chair: Here it comes — the moment that has fascinated me more than any other.
 * (Aldolpho drops his cane)
 * The Drowsy Chaperone: ...while you can.
 * Man in Chair: You have no idea how many times I've listened to that.