The Even Stevens Movie

 is a 2003 American Disney Channel Original Movie that is based on the Disney Channel Original Series . It premiered on June 13, 2003, serving as the series finale.

Dialogue

 * Donnie: How could you steal all our food?
 * Ren: As usual, Donnie, you have everything backwards.
 * Donnie: ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?
 * Ren: No. I am calling you a liar!
 * Louis: You guys had to get back at us, huh? Thank you!
 * Beans: But we got the evidence! How do you explain this, Louis?
 * Louis: You stole my food... AND MY SHIRT? Gimme that, you little worm-eating...!
 * Ren: Don't you talk to him like that!
 * Louis: What, is Beansy your little boyfriend now, Ren?
 * Ren: You don't have the right to talk! You caused all the trouble and you ate all the food!
 * Eileen: Okay, enough. Enough, kids. Stop. You kids shouldn't fight just because your father's trying to teach me a lesson.
 * Steve: And what would that be?
 * Eileen: Look, Steve, I know that you're upset since you've been out of work and that you are trying to prove to Ren and Beans that you can put food in their mouths.
 * Steve: What?
 * Eileen: But couldn't you leave a little something for us?
 * Steve: Don't twist this around! There wasn't a crumb of food left when we got up there! It's almost like you're trying to make me look bad!
 * Eileen: Now you are losing it.
 * Steve: DON'T TELL ME I'M LOSING IT!
 * Eileen: Don't you yell at me in front of my family!
 * Steve: IT'S MY FAMILY TOO!
 * Louis: Hold on, hold on. Mom, we don't need them. We don't need them! We'll be fine on our own, thank you.
 * Ren: Oh, really? Well, you can sleep out in the rain tonight!
 * Louis: WE CAN AND WE WILL!


 * Tom: The technology is amazing.
 * Twitty: It's your masterpiece!
 * Tawny: Are you really gonna sit in this thing all summer?
 * Louis: Hold on, hold on! Don't call her a "thing!" She's my ultra-loungematic superchair. [push a button so that an arm gives him a soda. He drinks it]
 * Twitty: Sweet!
 * Louis: [belches] Watch this, watch this. [pushing down another button so the machine quivers and gives him massage] Like a thousand tiny fingers working all the right parts.
 * Tawny: You've brought laziness to an art form.
 * [Louis pushes another button]
 * The Ultra-Loungematic Superchair: Thank-you. Taw-ny.


 * Louis: Hold on. Okay, you know this is boring, and you just wanna go because you broke up with your stupid boyfriend and want to get away.
 * Ren: And you just wanna stay here and sit on your stupid chair.
 * Donnie: Do they have cable?
 * Miles: Son, the beauty of Mandelino is there is no modern convenience of any kind.
 * Donnie: Guys, this sounds kinda cool. I mean, I can run on the beach, get into football shape...
 * Louis: Donnie, come on! You can run here and get in shape here. Please.
 * Eileen: You know, Steve, this could be a wonderful family adventure. It could be everything we've been hoping for.
 * Louis: No, Mom, listen... Listen, here's an adventure: You can stay here at home and make me breakfast and do my laundry, and that'll be an adventure. Dad, come on! Dad, listen. Dad... CAN SOMEBODY PUT A STOP TO THE MADNESS, PLEASE!


 * Lance: You know, we put this prank together in a matter of just a couple of hours thanks to family friends, Alan Twitty and Tawny Dean Now, what prompted you two to call Gotcha with this great prank?
 * Twitty: Uhh... guilt and shame.
 * Tawny: Okay, I would like to say that embarrassing innocent people on TV for fun and profit is one of the lowest, disgusting... [Tawny and cameraman fight over the camera] Gimme that!


 * Twitty: Well, it's all our fault... [Twitty stops guiltily. Tawny stare at him] Uh, all my fault... I set them up.
 * Tom: I'm doubly appalled.
 * Tawny: You could help us, Tom. And you could help Louis.
 * Tom: Well, Louis is my friend... when it suits him. And I can accept that. What can I do?
 * Twitty: Can you sail this tub to Catalona?


 * [Tom was singing "Blow the Man Down"]
 * Twitty: Tom! TOM! It's getting dark, and I'm getting seasick so I want a little less singing, and little more sailing, OKAY?
 * Tom: Well, excuse me, Benedict Twitty! If you don't like a good sea shanty, maybe you should take the bus to Cadelona!

Cast

 * as Louis Stevens
 * as Ren Stevens
 * as Eileen Stevens
 * as Steve Stevens
 * as Donnie Stevens
 * as Beans
 * as Miles McDermott
 * as Alan Twitty
 * as Tawny Dean
 * as Tom
 * as Lance LeBow
 * as Chief Tuka
 * as Ruby Mendel
 * Kenya Williams as Monique Taylor
 * as Laylo / Patrick Green
 * as Mootai / Jason Holdstead
 * Kyle Gibson as Gil
 * George Anthony Bell as Principal Wexler

The Stevens Family

 * Steve
 * Eileen (wife)
 * Donnie (son)
 * Ren (daughter)
 * Louis (son)