The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 Spaghetti Western film, set during the American Civil War, about three gunmen— an honorable bounty hunter, a common criminal, and a ruthless hired killer —who set out to find a hidden fortune in a Confederate cemetery.
 * Directed by Sergio Leone. Written by Agenore Incrocci, Furio Scarpelli, Luciano Vincenzoni, and Sergio Leone.

For Three Men The Civil War Wasn't Hell. It Was Practice!



Blondie

 * Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.
 * You see in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

Tuco

 * Hey, everybody, look! Look! He's giving him the filthy money! Judas! You've sold my hide! But you won't enjoy any of that money, not a penny. If there's justice, that money will go to the undertakers! Every penny of it. You know who you are? You want to know whose son you are? You don't, I do. Everybody does. You're the son of a thousand fathers! All bastards like you! And your mother? Your mother... You bastard! Your mother, it's better not to talk of her. I never hurt anybody!
 * Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive... he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!
 * If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?
 * There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door; those that come in by the window.
 * [To his brother Pablo] You think you're better than I am? Where we came from, if one did not want to die of poverty, one became a priest or a bandit! You chose your way, I chose mine. Mine was harder. You talk of our mother and father. You remember when you left to become a priest? I stayed behind! I must have been ten, twelve. I don't remember which, but I stayed. I tried, but it was no good. Now I am going to tell you something. You became a priest because you were... too much of a coward to do what I do!
 * Ah, my belly's full. Nice guy, my brother. I didn't tell you my brother was in charge here? Everything. Like the Pope, almost. He's in charge in Rome. Yeah, yeah, my brother, he say to me, "Stay, brother, don't go home. We never see each other. Here, there's plenty to eat and drink. Bring your friend, too." Whenever we see each other, he never lets me go. It's always the same story. My brother, he's crazy about me. [His tone becomes wistful] That's so... even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's a brother somewhere who'll never refuse me... a bowl of soup.
 * Hey, Blondie! You know what you are? Just a dirty son of a — [title theme plays]

Other

 * Stevens: You're... from Baker... Tell Baker that I told him all that I know already. Tell him I want to live in peace, understand? That it's no use to go on tormenting me! I know nothing at all about that case of coins. Now that gold has disappeared, but if he'd listened, we could have avoided this altogether. I went to the Army court; there were no witnesses. They couldn't uncover any more. I can't tell Baker what happened to the money; go back and tell him that!
 * Union Captain: Whoever has the most liquor to get the soldiers drunk and send them to be slaughtered, is the winner.

Dialogue

 * Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. Five hundred dollars.
 * Angel Eyes: Oh, I almost forgot. He paid me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. [they both laugh] But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.
 * Baker: No! Angel Eyes! [Angel Eyes shoots him through the pillow.]


 * Mexican Bounty Hunter: [to Tuco] Hey, amigo! You know you've got a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?
 * Blondie: [from behind] Yeah, but you don't look like the one who'll collect it.


 * Tuco: I'm an honest farmer! I’m innocent of everything!
 * Sheriff: So you’re just an honest farmer. [unrolls wanted poster] You recognize this man?
 * Tuco: Me?
 * Sheriff: Yeah, it's you.
 * Tuco: Who says so? You can't even read! Roll it up. Roll it up! I'll give you a good idea where you can put it!


 * [Angel Eyes prepares to board a stagecoach during Tuco's execution]
 * Woman on stagecoach: Glad they got him. A man guilty of all those crimes!
 * Angel Eyes: People with ropes around their necks don't always hang.
 * Woman on stagecoach: What do you mean?
 * Angel Eyes: Even a filthy beggar like that has a protecting angel.
 * [Angel Eyes looks around and catches sight of Blondie]
 * Angel Eyes: A golden-haired angel watches over him.


 * Public official [reads off Tuco's crimes]: Wanted in fourteen counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards. Therefore, according to the powers vested in us, we sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez...
 * Blondie [to himself]: ... known as the "Rat"...
 * Public official [continues]: ... and any other aliases he might have, to hang by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on his soul. Proceed!


 * Tuco: What're you trying to say? Anybody can miss a shot? Nobody misses when I'm at the end of the rope. You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the devil bite your ass!
 * Blondie: Yeah, you're right. It's getting tougher. [throws Tuco off the horse] The way I figure, there's really not to much future with a sawed-off runt like you.
 * Tuco: What do you mean?
 * Blondie: 'Cause I don't think you'll ever be worth more than $3,000.
 * Tuco: What do you mean?
 * Blondie: I mean, our partnership is untied. Oh no, not you. You remain tied. I'll keep the money, and you can have the rope.
 * Tuco: You filthy, double-crossing bastard! Of all the stinking, dirty tricks—
 * Blondie: The way back to town is only 70 miles. Now if you save your breath, I feel a man like you could manage it. Adios. [begins riding away]
 * Tuco: You, you, you filthy bastard! Come here! Come here! Cut this rope off! Get off that horse! Get off that horse, you filthy coward! If I ever catch you, Blondie, I'll rip your heart out and eat it! I'll scalp you! I'll skin you alive! I'll hang you by your tongue! You pig! You vulture! Why, I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
 * Blondie: [stopping] Such ingratitude, after all the times I've saved your life. [rides away again]
 * Tuco: Wait a minute. Wait. This is only a trick! You won't leave me here. Come back. Wait, Blondie! Listen, Blondie! Hijo de una gran puta!


 * Tuco: [hears distant rumbling] Even when Judas hanged himself there was a storm too.
 * Blondie: That could be cannon fire.
 * Tuco: Cannon fire or storm, it's all the same to you. [holds a noose] You ever see this before, my friend? Throw it over the roof beam! That's it. Now get on that. [Blondie steps onto a stool.] That's right. Now make sure the rope is tight. It's got to hold the weight of a pig. Now put the rope around your neck. That’s very good! It's too big for your neck, huh? We’ll fix that right away. I have another system, a little different than yours. I don't shoot the rope. I shoot the legs off the stool. Adios.


 * Tuco: What about our parents?
 * Pablo: Only now do you think of them, to begin after nine years?
 * Tuco: Nine years? So it's nine years. [laughs] Nine years!
 * Pablo: Our mother has been dead a long time now. Our father died a few days ago. That's why I was away. He asked for you to be there, but there was only me.


 * Tuco: Wake up, you. There are troops coming.
 * Blondie: Are they blue or gray?
 * Tuco: Gray. They're gray like us. Let's say hello to them and then get going. [Shouting] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General— [to Blondie] What's his name?
 * Blondie: Lee.
 * Tuco: Lee. Lee! God's on our side 'cause He hates the Yanks, too! Hurrah!
 * Blondie: [recognizing the dusty Union uniforms] God's not on our side because He hates idiots also.


 * [Corporal Wallace is calling roll at a Union POW camp]
 * Cpl. Wallace: Bill Carson. [A Union sergeant turns around; it is Angel Eyes] Bill Carson! I said Bill Carson!
 * Tuco: Hey, Blondie. Isn't that Angel Eyes?
 * Cpl. Wallace: Alright, what's he doing, sleeping? Bill Carson!
 * Blondie: Yeah, and you better be Bill Carson.
 * Cpl. Wallace: Bill Carson!
 * Tuco: Yeah, that's me.
 * [Angel Eyes comes over and takes the roll paper from Wallace, who approaches Tuco]
 * Cpl. Wallace: Please, Carson, answer "Present". What are you, deaf? [Punches Tuco] Now suppose you say "Present," Carson.
 * Tuco: I like big fat men like you. When they fall, they make more noise, and sometimes, they never get up!


 * Captain Harper: For the last time, Sergeant, I'm telling you I want the prisoners treated as prisoners. No more brutality.
 * Angel Eyes: There's hundreds of prisoners out there and only a few men to guard 'em. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to have respect.
 * Cpt. Harper: I think that you'll manage to gain their respect by treating them better.
 * Angel Eyes: Are our men treated that well in Andersonville camp?
 * Cpt. Harper: I don't give a goddamn what they do in Andersonville. While I'm in charge here the prisoners are not to be tortured, or cheated, or murdered.
 * Angel Eyes: That an accusation?
 * Cpt. Harper: Sergeant, gangrene is eating my leg away, not my eyes. I know the prisoners here are being robbed systematically. I know there's scum around who are bivouacked near the camp, waiting for someone to deliver this loot. But as long as I'm commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?
 * Angel Eyes: Yes, just as long as you're the commandant.
 * Cpt. Harper: Yes, Sergeant. I know this leg means I won't last very long, but I pray I can manage to have enough time to amass evidence to bring to a court-martial all those who discredit and dishonor the uniform of the Union!
 * Angel Eyes: I wish you luck.


 * Angel Eyes: [Throws Blondie some civilian clothes] The war's over for you. Put those clothes on.
 * Blondie: Why?
 * Angel Eyes: We’re going for a ride.
 * Blondie: Where?
 * Angel Eyes: To find $200,000. I know the name of the cemetery now, and you know the name on the grave.
 * Blondie: [Seeing Tuco’s blood on the floor] You're not going to give me the same treatment?
 * Angel Eyes: Would you talk?
 * Blondie: No, probably not.
 * Angel Eyes: That’s what I thought. Not that you're any tougher than Tuco, but you’re smart enough to know that talking won't save you.




 * Blondie: [counting Angel Eyes' men] One, two, three, four, five, six. Six. Perfect number.
 * Angel Eyes: Huh. Isn't three the perfect number?
 * Blondie: Mm... yeah. But I've got six more bullets in my gun.


 * One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
 * [Tuco kills him with a hidden gun]
 * Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.


 * Tuco: I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again. I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.
 * Blondie: Oh, listen, uh, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.
 * Tuco: Five?
 * Blondie: Yeah, five of 'em.
 * Tuco: So, that's why you came to Tuco. It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.


 * Tuco: "See you soon, id... " "idi... "
 * Blondie: "Idiots". It's for you.


 * Captain Clinton: Soon you can join the gallant heroes of Branston bridge. We have two attacks a day.
 * Tuco: Two attacks a day?
 * Cpt. Clinton: Sure! The Rebs have decided that damn bridge is the key to this whole area — Stupid, useless bridge! A flyspeck on the headquarters' maps — and the headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck even if all of us are killed. Otherwise, the key will get rusty and just be a spot on the wall. And that's not all. Both sides want the bridge intact! Intact is how the south wants it, and we want it intact too. You'll all turn to dust, but one thing is sure, boys: Branston bridge will stand unbroken.

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 * Tuco: The name of the cemetery is ... Sad Hill! Now it's your turn.
 * Blondie: The name on the grave is ... Arch Stanton.
 * Tuco: Arch Stanton? You sure?
 * Blondie: Yeah. Sure I'm sure.

Cast

 * Eli Wallach - Tuco
 * Clint Eastwood - Blondie
 * Lee Van Cleef - Sentenza/Angel Eyes
 * Aldo Giuffre - Union Captain Clinton
 * Rada Rassimov - Maria
 * John Bartha - Sheriff shut-eye
 * Livio Lorenzon - Baker
 * Antonio Casas - Stevens

Taglines

 * For three men, the Civil War wasn't Hell. It was practice!
 * They forged an alliance of hate to steal a fortune in dead man's gold.