The Great Race

The Great Race is a 1965 film about a popular daredevil who proposes an automobile race across three continents, his arch rival who vows to beat him, and an ambitious female reporter who has her own plans for victory.
 * ''Directed by Blake Edwards. Written by Blake Edwards and Arthur A. Ross.

THE GREAT LAUGH SHOW OF ALL TIME! (taglines)

Professor Fate
Leslie and Maggie marry and go on the west to east Journey to New York. Max pushes the button on the cannon..which brings the Efiel Tower down on Fate and Max!
 * [covered in feathers after crashing during a stunt] I'd like to see the Great Leslie try THAT one!"
 * [after crash landing into a mud puddle in the farm during a stunt] Well, there's another one, Leslie can try on for size.
 * Push the button, Max! [on numerous occasions.]
 * [to Maggie, after Maggie accidentally destroy his garage while confronting the dogs] A pox on you!
 * [the men of the Sheriff of Boracho wearing indian hats are approaching them from behind believing they are going to attack him] Smokescreen Max! Give them the smokescreen! No, you idiot! The smokescreen! Push the button, Max!
 * Thieves, brigands and cut-throats of all nations may hound us... but we are ready for them... we shall blast them into Kingdom Come.
 * [to Leslie, after Leslie allows him to win the race due to him proving his love for Maggie Dubois rather than beating him] I hate you! You, I hate! You, whose clothes are always white, and whose hair is always combed, and whose car is always clean! I refuse to accept! I challenge you to another race!
 * Fate:Push the button, Max!

Prince Hapnik

 * [after getting a pie in the face] Ulp? Brandy? Hah-hah, throw more brandy! Throw brandy! More Brandy! [gets a second pie in the face] Rum! I never mix my pies. I want to play, too.
 * [after throwing a pie at General Kuhster] You! You're the cause of it all! It was your idea!
 * [throwing flour at General Kuhster] I don't care! I don't care! You're banished! I'm getting an new tucker-inner. Banished, banished, banished!

The Great Leslie

 * [to Maggie DuBois] You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it, you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee.

Maggie DuBois

 * ''I speak, read, and write French... Russian... and Arabic.
 * ''You mean amazing because I'm a woman.
 * ''Women have to emancipate themselves in order to emancipate men. So they can emancipate each other where it counts the most.

Others

 * Lily Olay: I ain't no native, I was born here!


 * Texas Jack: NOW can I have me some fightin' room?! [several times during a saloon fight]


 * Baron von Stuppe: As a very wise English gentleman once said, 'He who fights and runs away may live to fight another day'. So, until another day, Mr. Leslie, please excuse me, I have a boat waiting!

Dialogue

 * Professor Fate: My apologies, there's a polar bear in our car.
 * The Great Leslie: If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear.


 * Professor Fate: Genius, Max, positive genius! What's next?
 * Max: Car number 5, the engine falls out!
 * Professor Fate: Car number 5, hah hah hah hah! Uh Max... we're number 5.


 * Max: Professor, Where are you?
 * Professor Fate: Behind the rock!
 * Max: Behind which rock? [falls over the professor]
 * Professor Fate: This rock you idiot!


 * The Great Leslie: [measuring the iceberg] Thirty seven inches to go.
 * Professor Fate: Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!
 * The Great Leslie: You'd better keep it to yourself.
 * Professor Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!


 * Professor Fate: Escaped?
 * General Kushter: With a small friar.
 * Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?

Taglines

 * THE GREAT LAUGH SHOW OF ALL TIME!
 * The movie with 20,000-mile or one-million-laughs guarantee!

Cast

 * Jack Lemmon - Professor Fate/Crown Prince Frederick Hapnick
 * Tony Curtis - Leslie 'The Great Leslie' Gallant III
 * Natalie Wood - Maggie DuBois
 * Peter Falk - Maximillian 'Max' Meen
 * Dorothy Provine - Lilly Olay
 * Larry Storch - Texas Jack
 * Ross Martin - Baron Von Stuppe
 * George Macready - General Kuhster