The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special is an American television special about the Guardians of the Galaxy as they celebrate Christmas and search for a present for their leader Peter Quill.
 * Directed and written by James Gunn.

Yondu Udonta

 * [after destroying Peter's Christmas tree] I HATE CHRISTMAS!!

Bzermikitokolok

 * [to Peter] Everything I know about Christmas, I learned from Rocket, who learned from Cosmo, who learned from Kraglin, who learned from you. So I thought I might just take it back to the source and make sure I understand this all correctly. This is, after all, a historical document.

Mantis

 * I can’t believe not a single one of our new homies know where Kevin Bacon is. There are tens of thousands of people on this planet, and we don’t even know what Kevin Bacon looks like.

Dialogue

 * Kraglin: Anyways, I just saw on the Multi-calendar that right now on Earth, it's almost Christmastime. So, yeah, it kinds of brings back some memories.
 * Nebula: Yondu had a point. Ever since buying Knowhere from The Collector, we don't have time for trivialities like Christmas. This place needs a lot of fixing up before it's livable.
 * Kraglin: Yeah, I reckon we've got work to do.


 * Mantis: It sounds like Christmas is a wonderful time, and Yondu ruined it for Peter. I feel like I should do something.
 * Drax: Why?
 * Mantis: Because of, you know, my secret. The one only you know.
 * Drax: That you ate the entire bowl of zarg-nuts in the commissary?
 * Mantis: My other secret.
 * Drax: That you’re Quill’s sister?
 * Drax: Why don’t you just tell people the truth?
 * Mantis: Peter’s father, our father, killed his mother, and tried to kill him. I don’t want him to be reminded of that every time he sees me.
 * Drax: No, I meant about the zarg-nuts.
 * Mantis: Oh. I don't think anyone cares about that but you.
 * Mantis: Maybe because I'm his sister, I feel like I should give Peter a happy Christmas. He's so sad about Gamora being gone. Maybe if we gave Peter a really wonderful Christmas gift, it would make him happy.
 * Drax: Well, we could give him those zarg-nuts except you at them all.
 * Mantis: Get over the zarg-nuts!
 * Drax: What kind of present?
 * Mantis: Something special he will never forget.
 * Drax: What about someone special?
 * Mantis: What?
 * Drax: Over the years, Quill has talked about one person more than any other. A legendary hero who has saved countless lives. We could give him to Quill as a present.


 * Drax: Do you think Kevin Bacon is the leader of the world, or just to most people?
 * Mantis: I think everybody.


 * ''[After Kevin Bacon was brought to meet the Guardians by Mantis and Drax, he screams.]
 * Rocket: Dude, calm down, we're not gonna hurt you.
 * Kevin Bacon: That's a talking raccoon.
 * Rocket: [lunges at Kevin Bacon, but Groot holds him back] I'LL KILL YOU!!!! DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT!!!!
 * Nebula: [aims her gun]'' HEY!
 * Peter Quill: Whoa! Sir, sir, sir. Right here, right here. [to Kraglin] Kraglin, prepare the Bowie for his transport back to Earth. [back to Kevin Bacon] Mr. Bacon, I am so sorry. This is really embarrassing. I know you're worried sick and your family is, too. We're gonna get you back home immediately.
 * Groot: I am Groot.
 * Peter Quill: Oh. Suddenly you thought it was a bad idea all along?
 * Groot: I am Groot.
 * Peter Quill: Dude, I literally just saw you wheel him out in front of everybody. I'm gonna let you go, Kevin Bacon. Don't run. You're not gonna run? No, no. No, no, no. [Kevin Bacon suddenly runs off] [to Nebula] Go get Kevin Bacon.
 * Nebula: [pulls out her gun] I've got him. [she and Mantis leaves]


 * Mantis: I guess I just wanted to do something special for you, because, well,...
 * Peter Quill: What
 * Mantis: Your father, Peter. He might be...
 * Peter Quill: Ego? He might be what?
 * Mantis: He might be... He is... my father, too.
 * Peter Quill: Wait, so does that make you my sister? [Mantis nods] Mantis... that's the greatest Christmas gift I could ever get. [Peter and Mantis embrace.]

About

 * There will be no coal in James Gunn’s stocking this year. His “Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special” is stuffed with funny, feel-good Christmas joy, and it’s one of the best pieces of content Marvel Studios has released in years.
 * Jordan Moreau, "James Gunn Brings Hilarious, Holiday Hijinks in Instantly Classic 'Guardians of the Galaxy' Special: TV Review". Variety. November 23, 2022.

Cast

 * Chris Pratt — Peter Quill / Star-Lord
 * Dave Bautista — Drax the Destroyer
 * Karen Gillan — Nebula
 * Pom Klementieff — Mantis
 * Vin Diesel — Groot
 * Bradley Cooper — Rocket
 * Sean Gunn — Kraglin Obfonteri
 * The Old 97's — an alien band on Knowhere
 * Michael Rooker — Yondu Udonta
 * Kevin Bacon — a fictionalized version of himself