The Hangover

The Hangover is a 2009 comedy film about four friends attempting to restore their memory about a bachelor party in Las Vegas.
 * Directed by Todd Phillips. Written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore.

Some guys just can't handle Vegas. (taglines)

Dialogue

 * Phil: Tracy, it's Phil.
 * Tracy: Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out.
 * Phil: Yeah, listen. Uh... we fucked up.
 * Tracy: What are you talking about?
 * Phil: The bachelor party-- The whole night-- Things got outta control, and, uh…we lost Doug.
 * Tracy: What?
 * Phil: We can't find Doug.
 * Tracy: What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in five hours!
 * Phil: Yeah. That's not gonna happen.


 * Sid: Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
 * Doug: Ah!
 * Sid: Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.


 * Alan: I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it.
 * Doug: Okay. I got it. Thank you. I don't think that...
 * Alan: Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone.
 * Doug: What?
 * Alan: You heard me. It's Sin City. I won't tell a soul.
 * Doug: Okay. I got it. Thank you.
 * Alan: No, thank you. [the two future in-laws embrace] I love you so much.


 * Doug: All good with Melissa?
 * Stu: Oh, yeah. Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it.
 * Phil: Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for three years, and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?
 * Stu: Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
 * Phil: Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
 * Stu: Okay. First of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted. And, if you must know, he didn't even cum inside her.
 * Phil: And you believe that?
 * Stu: Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.


 * Alan: I like to say somethin' that I prepared tonight.
 * Stu: All right, Alan.
 * Alan: [extracts a sheet of paper; presents his speech] Hello. How 'bout that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So, there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast! [pulls out a pocket knife]
 * Stu: What?!
 * Doug: Whattaya got there?
 * [Alan tries to cut his palm, to the others' shock]
 * Phil: What the fuck?!
 * Doug What are you doin'?!
 * [Alan groans in pain]
 * Stu: What is that?!
 * Alan: Blood brothers.


 * Phil: [sees Alan with his new satchel] You're not really wearin' that, are you?
 * Alan: Wearin' what?
 * Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that, or you guys just fuckin' with me?
 * Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a man purse. It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
 * Phil: So does Joy Behar.


 * Alan: Guys. Guys. What about the tiger? What if he got out?
 * Phil: Oh, fuck! I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger! How the fuck did he get in there?
 * Stu: I don't know, because I don't remember.
 * Phil: Shh! Stu! Stu, keep it down.
 * Alan: One of the side-effects of roofies is memory loss.
 * Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.


 * Phil: All right. We got the money. 80 grand cash.
 * Chow: Throw it over! Then I give you Doug.
 * Stu: I'm sorry. First of all, good morning. We didn't catch your name last night.
 * Chow: Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow.
 * Stu: Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure. My name is Stu. And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug before we give you the money, to verify that he's okay, if that's cool.
 * Chow: Of course, Stu. That is cool. [claps hands, and a man with a bag on his head is brought out of the car]
 * Stu: [relieved] Oh. Okay.
 * Chow: See? He fine. Now, gimme money, or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motherfuckers! And then we take it! Your choice, bitches!


 * Melissa: I called that bed and breakfast in Napa. They said they had no record of you even checking in.
 * Stu: That's 'cause we didn't go to Napa.
 * Melissa: Stu, what the fuck is going on?
 * Stu: We went to Las Vegas.
 * Melissa: Oh, really? Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas?
 * Stu: 'Cause my best friend was getting married, and that's what guys do.
 * Melissa: Uh-huh?
 * Stu: Yeah.
 * Melissa: That's not what you do.
 * Stu: Really? Well, then, why did I do it?! Huh?! 'Cause I did it! Riddle me that! Why'd I do it?! You know, sometimes I think all you want me to do is what you want me to do. Well, I'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time. I think, in a healthy relationship, sometimes a guy should be able to do what he wants to do.
 * Melissa: That is not how this works!
 * Stu: Oh, good! Because whatever this is ain't workin' for me!
 * Melissa: Oh, really?
 * Stu: Yeah!
 * Melissa: Since when?!
 * Stu: Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June! BOOM!!!
 * Alan: You told me it was a bartender.
 * Stu: Oh. You're right. I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender.
 * Melissa: You're an idiot.
 * Stu: You're a-- You... [struggles] You're... such a bad person! Like, all the way through to your core!

Taglines

 * Some guys just can't handle Vegas
 * Whose baby is this?
 * Am I missing a tooth?
 * I stole a police car?!
 * What happened last night?
 * Where the hell is my tiger?
 * Have you seen this man?
 * Easy, tiger!
 * You mess with the wrong guy.
 * Well, technically, I'm an escort.

Cast

 * Bradley Cooper - Phil Wenneck
 * Ed Helms - Dr. Stuart "Stu" Price
 * Zach Galifianakis - Alan Garner
 * Justin Bartha - Doug Billings
 * Heather Graham - Jade
 * Sasha Barrese - Tracy Garner
 * Jeffrey Tambor - Sid Garner
 * Ken Jeong - Leslie Chow
 * Rachael Harris - Melissa
 * Mike Tyson - Himself
 * Mike Epps - Black Doug
 * Jernard Burks - Leonard
 * Rob Riggle - Officer Franklin
 * Cleo King - Officer Garden
 * Bryan Callen - Eddie Palermo