The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey


 * For the sequels, see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) and The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014).

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is the 2012 epic fantasy adventure film and the first installment in The Hobbit motion picture trilogy based on the novel by J. R. R. Tolkien. It tells the tale of Bilbo and his journey to the Lonely Mountain with Thirteen Dwarves and a wizard named Gandalf the Grey, to reclaim the treasure stolen by Smaug the dragon.
 * Directed by Peter Jackson. Written by Frances Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Guillermo del Toro, and Peter Jackson.

Bilbo Baggins

 * My dear Frodo, you asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. I am old now, Frodo. I'm not the same hobbit as I once was. I think it is time for you to know what really happened. It began long ago in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Dale, its markets known far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-earth; Erebor, stronghold of Thrór, King under the Mountain and mightiest of the Dwarf-lords. Thrór ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson. Ah, Frodo, Erebor! Built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of this fortress city was legend. Its wealth lay in the earth, in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Dwarves was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire. Ever they delved deep, down into the dark and that is where they found it, the Heart of the Mountain! The Arkenstone. Thrór named it the King's Jewel. He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him, even the great Elven King, Thranduil. But the years of peace and plenty were not to last. Slowly, the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in. Thrór's love of gold had grown too fierce. A sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow. The first they heard was a noise like a hurricane coming down from the North; the pines on the mountain creaked and cracked in the hot, dry wind. It was a fire-drake from the North. Smaug had come! Such wanton death was dealt that day, for this city of Men was nothing to Smaug. His eye was set on another prize. For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire. Erebor was lost - for a dragon will guard his plunder as long as he lives. Thranduil would not risk the lives of his kin against the wrath of the dragon. No help came from the Elves that day...or any day since. Robbed of their homeland, the Dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness. A once mighty people brought low. The young Dwarf prince took work where he could find it, laboring in the villages of Men. But always he remembered the mountain smoke beneath the moon, the trees like torches blazing bright, for he had seen dragon-fire in the sky and a city turned to ash. And he never forgave...and he never forgot.
 * That, my dear Frodo, is where I come in, for quite by chance and the will of a Wizard, fate decided I would become part of this tale. It began...well, it began as you might expect. In a hole in a ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells. This was a hobbit-hole and that means good food, a warm hearth, and all the comforts of home.
 * I'm going on an adventure!
 * [to the trolls, about cooking the dwarves] Well, have you smelled them? You're going to need something a lot stronger than sage before you plate this lot up.

Gandalf the Grey

 * You will have to do without pocket handkerchiefs, and a great many other things, before we reach our journey's end, Bilbo Baggins. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire, but home is now behind you; the world is ahead.
 * [to the three Trolls] THE DAWN WILL TAKE YOU ALL!
 * Erebor, the Lonely Mountain. The last of the great Dwarf kingdoms of Middle-earth.
 * Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!
 * What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that it is a morning to be good on?
 * True courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.

Balin

 * [to Bilbo] Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria...but our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs, led by the most vile of all their race, Azog the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King. Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed; we did not know. We were leaderless; defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him; the young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armour rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield...Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back; our enemy had been defeated...but there was no feast nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived and I thought to myself then 'There is one I could follow. There is one I could call King'.

Thorin Oakenshield

 * If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years...Eyes look east to the mountain assessing, wondering, weighing the risk...Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?!
 * Loyalty, honor, a willing heart, I can ask no more than that.
 * I would take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills.
 * [about the Key to the Hidden Door] From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me.

Radagast The Brown

 * [Radagast fails to cure a sick hedgehog, despite trying numerous cures] I don't understand why it's not working! It's not as if it's witchcraft! [pauses] Witchcraft. Oh, but it is. A dark and powerful magic...
 * [showing Gandalf a Morgul blade he recovered from Dol Guldur] That is not from the world of the living.

Gollum / Sméagol

 * What has it got in its nasty little pocketses?
 * Baggins! Thief! Curse it and crush it! We hates it FOREVER!!!
 * Gollum! Gollum!

Dialogue

 * Frodo: [finds a sketch of a younger Bilbo] What's this?
 * Old Bilbo: That is private. Keep your sticky paws off. [Frodo start to look at the book, Bilbo hides the text] It's not ready yet.
 * Frodo: Not ready for what?
 * Old Bilbo: Reading. [notices a bundle of envelopes] What on earth are these?
 * Frodo: Replies to the party invitations.
 * Old Bilbo: [excited] Good gracious. Is it today?
 * Frodo: They all said they are coming. Except for the Sackville-Bagginses, who demand that you ask them in person.
 * Old Bilbo: Really... Over my dead body.
 * Frodo: They'd probably find that quite agreeable. They seem to think you have tunnels overflowing with gold.
 * Old Bilbo: It was one small chest; hardly overflowing. [whispers] And it still smells of troll! [hides some gold cups]
 * Frodo: [notices Bilbo's behavior] What on earth are you doing?
 * Old Bilbo: Taking precautions! You know, I caught her making off with the silverware once.
 * Frodo: Who?
 * Old Bilbo: Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. She had all my spoons stuffed in her pockets! Ha! Dreadful woman! Make sure you keep an eye of her after I, um, I...When I'm...
 * Frodo: When you're what?
 * Old Bilbo: [not wanting to tell] It's nothing, nothing...
 * Frodo: You know, some people are beginning to wonder about you, uncle. They think you are becoming...odd.
 * Old Bilbo: "Odd"?
 * Frodo: Hmm, unsociable.
 * Old Bilbo: "Unsociable"? Me? Nonsense! [hands Frodo a sign] Be a good lad and put that out at the gate.
 * [The sign reads "No admittance; Except on party business."]


 * Bilbo: Good morning.
 * Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that it is a morning to be good on?
 * Bilbo: All of them at once, I suppose. [long pause] Can I help you?
 * Gandalf: That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure.
 * Bilbo: [stares at Gandalf] An adventure? Well, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner! [when Gandalf still doesn't leave, Bilbo awkwardly goes to his mail, pretending to pay no attention to him. Finally, he clears his throat] Good morning! [heads for his front door]
 * Gandalf: To think that I should have lived to be "good morninged" by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door!
 * Bilbo: [stops] Beg your pardon?
 * Gandalf: You've changed. And not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins.
 * Bilbo: I'm sorry, do I know you?
 * Gandalf: Well, you know my name although you don't remember I belong to it; I am Gandalf! And Gandalf means... me.
 * Bilbo: Not Gandalf, the wandering wizard who made such excellent fireworks. Old Took use to have them on Mid-summer's Eve. [chuckles] No idea you were still in business.
 * Gandalf: And where else should I be? [Bilbo continues to smoke his pipe] All the same, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Well, that's decided. It will be very good for you...and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others.
 * Bilbo: [startled] Inform who? Wait, wha - no! No. No, wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you - not today! Not - I suggest you try over the Hill or across the Water. Good morning! [hurries inside and shuts the door]


 * [The doorbell rings; Bilbo goes to answer it and finds a dwarf]
 * Dwalin: [bows] Dwalin, at your service.
 * Bilbo: Uh, Bilbo...Baggins. At yours. [Dwalin walks in] Do we know each other?
 * Dwalin: No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?
 * Bilbo: Is what down where?
 * Dwalin: Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it.
 * Bilbo: He said? Who said?
 * [Dwalin proceeds to the kitchen and later eats Bilbo's dinner]
 * Dwalin: Very good, this. Any more?
 * Bilbo: What? Oh, uh, yes, yes. [finds a jar of seed-cakes] Help yourself. [pauses as Dwalin eats away] It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company.
 * [The doorbell rings]
 * Dwalin: That'll be the door.
 * [Bilbo opens the door]
 * Balin: [smiles and bows] Balin, At your service.
 * Bilbo: [blankly] Good evening.
 * Balin: Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later. Am I late?
 * Bilbo: Late for what?
 * Balin: [catches Dwalin trying to get more scones out of another jar] OH! Evening, brother!
 * Dwalin: [sets down the jar and smiles] Ho ho, by my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met.
 * Balin: Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us.
 * [Dwalin and Balin laugh and butt heads. They proceed to raid Bilbo's pantry while talking with each other]
 * Bilbo: Excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but the thing is I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house. It's not that I don't like visitors. I-I like visitors as much as the next hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting. The thing is...uh...the thing is, I don't know either of you, not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry.
 * Balin: [suddenly noticing that Bilbo was talking] Apology accepted. [smiles, to Bilbo's growing confusion]
 * [The doorbell rings again, and Bilbo opens the door to find two more dwarves]
 * Fíli: Fíli.
 * Kíli: And Kíli.
 * Fíli and Kíli: [bowing] At your service.
 * Kíli: You must be Mr. Boggins!
 * Bilbo: Nope! You can't come in; you've come to the wrong house. [tries to shut the door]
 * Kíli: [pushes it open with his foot; deflated] What? Has it been cancelled?
 * Fíli: No one told us.
 * Bilbo: Ca-? No, nothing's been cancelled.
 * Kíli: [smiles] That's a relief!
 * [They walk in as if they had been expected]
 * Fíli: Careful with these. I just had 'em sharpened. [tosses Bilbo their blades]
 * Kíli: It's nice, this place. You do it yourself?
 * Bilbo: Well, no, it's been in the family for years- [sees Kíli rubbing his shoes on the furniture] That's my mother's glory box! Could you please not do that?
 * Dwalin: Fíli, Kíli, come on. Give us a hand.
 * Kíli: [smiling at the sight of Dwalin] Mr. Dwalin.
 * [Dwalin leads Fíli and Kíli into the dining room]
 * Balin: [about the table] Let's shove this in the hallway. Otherwise, we'll never get everyone in.
 * Bilbo: [surprised] He - "Everyone"? How many more are there? [doorbell rings again, Bilbo is getting rather cross as he heads for the door.] Oh no. No, no. [louder, tossing the knives to the floor] There's nobody home! Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is! I-I-If this is some...clot-head's idea of a joke... [chuckles sarcastically] ...I can only say. It is in very poor taste! [opens the door and eight dwarves (Dori, Nori, Ori, Óin, Glóin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur) fall down on top of each other. Gandalf stands behind looking at Bilbo] [with an irritated look on his face] Gandalf.


 * [Bilbo sees Bombur walk from the pantry holding several cheese wheels]
 * Bilbo: A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?
 * Bofur: "Cheese knife?" He eats it by the block.


 * Bilbo: [grabbing a doily from Nori] Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth.
 * Bofur: But it's full of holes!
 * Bilbo: It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet.
 * Bofur: Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it. [laughs]
 * Bilbo: [annoyed, but quietly] Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!
 * Gandalf: My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?
 * Bilbo: What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?
 * Gandalf: Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.
 * Bilbo: I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house.
 * Ori: [walks up] 'Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?
 * Fíli: Here you go, Ori, give it to me.
 * [Ori tosses the plate to Fíli, who tosses it to Kíli, who throws it across the hall; Bifur catches it, while not looking]
 * Bilbo: [mortified] Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over 100 years old! [to the other dwarves clashing the cutlery together] And can you not do that? You'll blunt them!
 * Bofur: Oh, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!
 * Kíli: [singing] Blunt the knives, bend the forks!
 * Fíli: [singing] Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
 * Dwarves: [singing] Chip the glasses and crack the plates... That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth, tread on the fat! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Pour the milk on the pantry floor! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl! Pound them up with a thumping pole! And when you're finished, if they are whole... Send them down the hall to roll! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!


 * Balin: It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.
 * Bilbo: "Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh...
 * Thorin: [whispering to Gandalf] I cannot guarantee his safety.
 * Gandalf: Understood.
 * Thorin: Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
 * Gandalf: [hesitates] Agreed.
 * Bilbo: Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair...Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?..."Incineration"?
 * Bofur: Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.
 * [Bilbo starts to look shaky]
 * Balin: You all right, laddie?
 * Bilbo: Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint.
 * Bofur: [not noticing] Think "furnace with wings."
 * Bilbo: Yeah, I...I...I need air.
 * Bofur: Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash.
 * [zbeat]
 * Bilbo: ...Nope. [faints]
 * Gandalf: [sarcastically] Oh, very helpful, Bofur.


 * Bilbo: I'll be alright. Just let me sit quietly for a moment.
 * Gandalf: You've been sitting quietly for far too long! Tell me, when did doilies and your mother's dishes become so important to you? I remember a young hobbit who was always running off in search of Elves in the woods. He'd stay out late, come home after dark, trailing mud and twigs and fireflies. A young hobbit who would've liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of the Shire. The world is not in your books and maps. It's out there.
 * Bilbo: I can't just go running off into the blue! I am a Baggins... [whimpers] ...of Bag End!
 * Gandalf: You are also a Took. Did you know that your great-great-great-great Uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?
 * Bilbo: Yes.
 * Gandalf: Well, he could! At the Battle of Greenfields, he charged the Goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin King's head clean off and it sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won, and the game of golf invented at the same time.
 * Bilbo: I do believe you made that up.
 * Gandalf: Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You'll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back.
 * Bilbo: Can you promise that I will come back?
 * Gandalf: No. And if you do...you will not be the same.
 * Bilbo: That's what I thought. Sorry, Gandalf. I can't sign this. You've got the wrong hobbit.
 * [Thorin and Balin see Bilbo walk off after his discussion with Gandalf]
 * Balin: It appears we have lost our burglar. Probably for the best. The odds were always against us. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toy makers. Hardly the stuff of legend.
 * Thorin: There are a few warriors amongst us.
 * Balin: Old warriors.
 * Thorin: I would take each and every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills, for when I called upon them, they answered. Loyalty, honor, a willing heart. I can ask no more than that.
 * Balin: You don't have to do this. You have a choice. You've done honorably by our people. You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor.
 * Thorin: [holds the key out] From the grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day when the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice, Balin. Not for me.
 * Balin: Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done.


 * Master Worrywort: You! Mr. Bilbo, where're you off to?
 * Bilbo: Can't stop! I'm already late.
 * Master Worrywort: Late for what?
 * Bilbo: [excitedly] I'm going on an adventure!


 * Dori: Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?
 * Gandalf: It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.
 * Bilbo: Are there any?
 * Gandalf: What?
 * Bilbo: Other wizards?
 * Gandalf: There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. And then there are the two Blue Wizards...You know, I've quite forgotten their names.
 * Bilbo: And the fifth?
 * Gandalf: Well, that would be Radagast the Brown.
 * Bilbo: Is he a great wizard? Or is he more like you?
 * Gandalf: Well, I think he is a very great wizard...in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals for others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East - and a good thing, too, for always evil will look to find a foothold in this world.


 * Thorin: We'll camp here for the night. Fili, Ki­li, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them.
 * Gandalf: [inspecting the ruined house] A farmer and his family used to live here.
 * Thorin: Oin, Gloin.
 * Oin: Aye?
 * Thorin: Get the fire going.
 * Oin: Right you are.
 * Gandalf: I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley.
 * Thorin: I told you already. I will not go near that place.
 * Gandalf: Why not? The Elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice.
 * Thorin: I do not need their advice.
 * Gandalf: We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us.
 * Thorin: "Help"? A dragon attacks Erebor. What "help" came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing! And you ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather who betrayed my father.
 * Gandalf: You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.
 * Thorin: I did not know they were yours to keep.
 * [Frustrated, Gandalf walks off]
 * Bilbo: Everything all right? Gandalf, where are you going?
 * Gandalf: To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!
 * Bilbo: Who's that?
 * Gandalf: Myself, Mr. Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day. [leaves]
 * Thorin: Come on, Bombur, we're hungry.
 * Bilbo: [to Balin] Is he coming back?


 * [While looking through a troll hoard, Gandalf and Thorin come across two swords of exceptionally fine craftsmanship]
 * Thorin: These swords were not made by any troll.
 * Gandalf: Nor were they made by any smith among men. These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age.[Thorin sets aside the weapon] You could not wish for a finer blade.


 * [In the troll hoard, Gandalf steps on a small Elf-made sword; he goes out of the cave and walks up to Bilbo]
 * Gandalf: Bilbo.
 * Bilbo: Hmm?
 * Gandalf: Here. [gives Bilbo the sword] This is about your size.
 * Bilbo: I can't take this.
 * Gandalf: The blade is of Elvish-make, which means it will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby.
 * Bilbo: I have...I have never used a sword in my life.
 * Gandalf: And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: true courage lies in knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.


 * Radagast the Brown: The Greenwood is sick, Gandalf. A darkness has fallen over it. Nothing grows any more, at least nothing good. The air is foul with decay. The worst are the webs.
 * Gandalf: Webs? What do you mean?
 * Radagast: Spiders, Gandalf. Giant ones. Some kind of spawn of Ungoliant or I'm not a wizard. I followed their trail, they came from...Dol Guldur.
 * Gandalf: Dol Guldur? But the old fortress is abandoned.
 * Radagast: No, Gandalf, 'tis not. A dark power dwells in there. Such as I have never felt before. It is the shadow of an ancient horror. One that can summon the spirits of the dead. I saw him, Gandalf. From out of the darkness, a Necromancer has come.


 * [While talking with Radagast, the company finds themselves beset by wargs]
 * Thorin: Warg-Scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind!
 * Bilbo Baggins: Orc pack?
 * Gandalf: Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?
 * Thorin: No one.
 * Gandalf: Who did you tell?!
 * Thorin: No one, I swear. What in Durin's name is going on?
 * Gandalf: You are being hunted.
 * Dwalin: We have to get out of here.
 * Ori: We can't! We have no ponies; they bolted.
 * Radagast: I'll draw them off!
 * Gandalf: These are Gundabad Wargs! They will outrun you.
 * Radgast: [confident] These are Rhosgobel rabbits! I'd like to see them try.


 * Elrond: Welcome, Thorin, son of Thrain.
 * Thorin: I do not believe we have met.
 * Elrond: You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thrór when he ruled under the mountain.
 * Thorin: Indeed? He made no mention of you.
 * Elrond: [responds in Elvish]
 * Gloin: What is he saying? Does he offer us insults?!
 * Gandalf: No, Master Gloin, he's offering you food. [pause]
 * Gloin: Well, in that case, lead on.


 * Elrond: This is Orcrist, the Goblin-Cleaver. A famous blade forged by the High Elves of the West. My kin. [returns it to Thorin] May it serve you well. [unsheathes Gandalf's sword] And this is Glamdring, the Foe-hammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were forged long ago for the Elven-Goblin Wars...
 * [Curious, Bilbo unsheathes his own sword, looking for inscriptions]
 * Balin: I wouldn't bother, laddie. Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war.
 * Bilbo Baggins: What are you saying? My sword hasn't seen battle?
 * Balin: I'm not actually sure it is a sword. More of a letter opener, really.


 * Elrond: Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the key-hole.
 * Bilbo: Durin's Day?
 * Gandalf: It is the start of the Dwarves' new year when the last Moon of Autumn and the first Sun of Winter appear in the sky together.
 * Thorin: This is ill news. Summer is passing, Durin's Day will soon be upon us.
 * Balin: We still have time.
 * Bilbo: Time for what?
 * Balin: To find the entrance. We have to be standing in exactly the right spot, at exactly the right time. Then...and only then can the door be opened.
 * Elrond: So this is your purpose? To enter the mountain?
 * Thorin: What of it?
 * Elrond: There are some who would not deem it wise.
 * Gandalf: Who do you mean?
 * Elrond: You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middle-earth.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [Dialogue for this scene in Black Speech. At Weathertop, a band of Orcs arrive to report to their leader, Azog the Defiler, with wargs growling at them. A larger warg, a female with white fur, does the same. Azog is standing at a ledge]
 * Yazneg: The Dwarves, Master, we lost them. [the wargs growl angrily] Ambushed by Elven filth, we were-
 * Azog: [furious] I don't want excuses. [the white warg growls once again. He turns around and steps towards Yazneg, stroking the warg on the head] I want the head of the Dwarf King!
 * Yazneg: We were outnumbered, there was nothing we could do. I barely escaped with my life!
 * Azog: [strokes Yazneg on the face] Far better you had paid with it! [lifts Yazneg off the ground with a frustrated scream and tosses him aside to be torn apart and eaten by the wargs. Fimbul looks on with fright, as Azog steps toward the ledge of the basecamp] The dwarf-scum will show themselves soon enough. [the orcs hop onto their wargs] Send out word...there is a price on their heads. [bellows with fury as the orcs ride off into the wilderness as per his orders]

<hr width="50%"/>
 * [Extended scene]
 * Gandalf: Of course I was going to tell you, I was waiting for this very chance. And really, I think you could trust that I know what I am doing.
 * Elrond: Do you? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake that beast?
 * Gandalf: But if we succeed...If the Dwarves take back the mountain, our defences in the East will be strengthened.
 * Elrond: It is a dangerous move, Gandalf.
 * Gandalf: It is also dangerous to do nothing or cut the throne of Erebor, it's Thorin's birthright. What is it you fear?
 * Elrond: Have you forgotten? A strain of madness runs deep in that family. His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall? Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone. It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle-earth.

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 * Saruman: Tell me, Gandalf, did you think these plans and schemes of yours would go unnoticed?
 * Gandalf: Unnoticed? No, I...I'm simply doing what I feel to be right.
 * Galadriel: The dragon has long been on your mind.
 * Gandalf: This is true, my lady. Smaug owes allegiance to no one, but if he should side with the Enemy... A dragon could be used to terrible effect.
 * Saruman: What enemy? Gandalf, the Enemy is defeated. Sauron is vanquished. He can never regain his full strength.
 * [Extended scene]
 * Gandalf: Does it not worry you that the last of the Dwarf-rings should simply vanish along with its bearer? Of the Seven Dwarf-rings, four were consumed by dragons, two were taken by Sauron before he fell in Mordor. The fate of the last Dwarf-ring remains unknown. The ring that was borne by Thrain.
 * Saruman: Without the Ruling Ring of Power, the Seven are no value to the Enemy. To control the other Rings, he needs the One. And that Ring was lost long, long ago. It was swept out to sea by the waters of the Anduin.
 * Elrond: Gandalf. For four-hundred years, we have lived in peace, a hard-won, Watchful Peace.
 * Gandalf: Are we- are we at peace? Trolls have come down from the mountains, they are raiding villages, destroying farms. Orcs have attacked us on the road!
 * Elrond: Hardly a prelude to war.
 * Saruman: Always you must meddle, looking for trouble when none exists.
 * Galadriel: Let him speak.
 * Gandalf: There is something at work beyond the evil of Smaug. Something far more powerful. We could remain blind to it but it will not be ignoring us, that I can promise you. A sickness lies over the Greenwood. The Woodsmen who live there now call it Mirkwood and, uh, they say...
 * Saruman: Well, don't stop now. Tell us what the Woodsmen say.
 * Gandalf: They speak of a Necromancer living in Dol Guldur, a sorcerer who could summon the dead.
 * Saruman: That's absurd. No such power exists in this world. This "Necromancer" is nothing more than a mortal man. A conjurer dabbling in black magic.
 * Gandalf: And so I thought too, but Radagast had seen...
 * Saruman: Radagast? Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown. He is a foolish fellow.
 * Gandalf: Well, he's odd, I'll grant you. He lives a solitary life...
 * Saruman: It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms! They've addled his brain and yellowed his teeth!

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 * Galadriel: [voice-over] You carry something. It came to you from Radagast. He found it in Dol Guldur.
 * Gandalf: [voice-over] Yes.
 * Galadriel: [voice-over] Show me.
 * [Gandalf shows Galadriel, Elrond, and Saruman the Morgul-blade]
 * Elrond: What is that?
 * Galadriel: A relic...of Mordor.
 * Elrond: A Morgul-blade!
 * Galadriel: Made for the Witch-king of Angmar...And buried with him. When Angmar fell, the Men of the North took his body and all that he possessed and sealed it within the High Fells of Rhudaur. Deep within the rock, they buried him. In a tomb so dark...it would never come to light.
 * Elrond: This is not possible. A powerful spell lies upon those tombs, they cannot be opened.
 * Saruman: What proof do we have this weapon came from Angmar's grave?
 * Gandalf: [reluctantly] I have none.
 * Saruman: Because there is none! Let us examine what we know: A single Orc pack has dared to cross the Bruinen, a dagger from a bygone age has been found and a human sorcerer who calls himself the Necromancer has taken up residence in a ruined fortress. It's not so very much after all. The question of this Dwarvish company, however, troubles me deeply. I'm not convinced, Gandalf. I do not feel I can condone such a quest. If they had come to me, I might have spared them from this disappointment...
 * Galadriel: [voice-over] They are leaving.
 * Gandalf: [voice-over] Yes.
 * Galadriel: [voice-over] You knew.
 * Lindir: [rushes in] My lord, the dwarves, they're gone!

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 * Galadriel: You will follow them.
 * Gandalf: Yes.
 * Galadriel: You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield, but I fear this quest has set in motion forces we do not yet understand. The riddle of the Morgul-blade must be answered. Something moves in the shadows, unseen, hidden from our sight. It will not show itself, not yet...but every day it grows in strength. You must be careful. [Gandalf nods and turns to leave] Mithrandir, why the halfling?
 * Gandalf: I don't know. Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I've found it is the small things; everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay...simple acts of kindness, and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid...and he gives me courage.
 * Galadriel: [takes his hands] Do not be afraid, Mithrandir. You are not alone. [in Elvish] If you ever need my help, I will come.

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 * Great Goblin: Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?!
 * Grinnah: Dwarves, your Malevolence.
 * Great Goblin: Dwarves?
 * Grinnah: We found them on the front porch.
 * Great Goblin: Well, don't just stand there, search them! Every crack, every crevice!
 * [The Goblins search the dwarves, including squashing Oin's ear trumpet]

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 * [The goblins empty a sack of objects from Rivendell, stolen by Nori]
 * Grinnah: It is my belief, your great protuberance, that they are in league with Elves!
 * Great Goblin: [looks at the bottom of a golden candelabra] "Made in Rivendell". Bah! Second Age, couldn't give it away. [tosses it aside]
 * [Dori looks at Nori, who has a guilty expression on his face]
 * Nori: Just a couple of keepsakes.

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 * Great Goblin: What are you doing in these parts?
 * [The dwarves remain silent]
 * Oin: Don't worry, lads. I'll handle this.
 * Great Goblin: No tricks! I want the truth! Warts and all.
 * Oin: You're going to have to speak up. Your boys have flattened my trumpet.
 * Great Goblin [angry, heading towards them] I'll flatten more than your trumpet!
 * Bofur: [steps forward] It's more information you want, I'm the one you should speak to! [Great Goblin looks at him] We were on the road. Well, it's not so much of a road as path. Actually, it's not even that come to think of it - it's more like a track. Anyway, the point is we were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren't. Which is a problem, because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday.
 * Dori: Visiting distant relations.
 * Bofur: Some inbreds on me mother's side.
 * Great Goblin: [enraged] Shut UP!!! If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone-Breaker! [points at Ori] Start with the youngest!
 * Thorin: WAIT! [steps forward]
 * Great Goblin: Well, well, well! Look who it is. Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór! King Under the Mountain. [bows mockingly] Oh! But I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you...nobody, really. I know someone who will pay a pretty price for your head. Just a head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.
 * Thorin: Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago!
 * Great Goblin: So you think his defiling days are done, do you? [chuckles, then turns to his scribe] Send word to the Pale Orc. Tell him I have found his prize.

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 * [Bilbo regains consciousness and sees Gollum dragging and attacking a goblin that he fought. In the process, Gollum dropped a golden Ring. As Gollum drags the goblin away, Bilbo gets up, goes to the Ring, picks it up, and puts it in his pocket. He sees Gollum eating the goblin. Bilbo hides behind a rock, his sword's light dims out. Gollum quietly rides his boat across the river and pops out from over the rock, Bilbo is hiding and jumps in front of Bilbo]
 * Gollum: Bless us and splash us, precious! That's a meaty mouthful! [Bilbo points his sword at his's throat; he notices the blade] Gollum! Gollum!
 * Bilbo: Back! Stay back. I'm...warning you. Don't come any closer.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] It's got an elfish blade. [as Gollum] But it's not a elfs. [as Sméagol] Not an elfs, no. What is it, precious? What is it?
 * Bilbo: My name is...Bilbo Baggins.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol; confused] Bagginses? What is a Bagginses, precious?
 * Bilbo: I'm a hobbit from the Shire.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Oh! [laughs a little] We like goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn't tried hobbitses before! [as Gollum] Is it soft? Is it juicy?
 * Bilbo: [swings his sword] Now...Now, keep...keep...keep your distance! I'll use this if I have to! [Gollum screams] I don't want any trouble! Do you understand!? Just show me the way to get out of here and I'll be on my way!
 * Gollum: Why? Is it lost?
 * Bilbo: Yes. Yes, and I want to get un-lost as soon as possible.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Oh! We knows! We knows safe paths for hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark- [as Gollum] Shut up!
 * Bilbo: I didn't say anything.
 * Gollum: Wasn't talking to you! [as Sméagol] Well, yes, we was, precious. We was.
 * Bilbo: I-I don’t know what your game is, but I...
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol; ecstatically] GAMES?! Oh, we loves games! Doesn't we, precious? Does it like games? Does it, does it, does it like to play?
 * Bilbo: Maybe.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, And yet never grows?
 * Bilbo: [thinks] The mountain.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Yes! Yes! Oh, let's have another one, huh? Yes, yeah, go, do it again! Do it, do it again! Ask us! [as Gollum] No! No more riddles! Finish him off! Finish him now! Gollum! Gollum!
 * Bilbo: No, no, no, no. I-I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this. So, why don't we have a game of riddles? Yes, just-just-just you and me.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Yes. Just-just-just us.
 * Bilbo: Yes. Yes! And if I win, you show me the way out, yes?
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Yes, yes! [as Gollum] And if it loses, what then? [as Sméagol] Well, if it loses, precious, then we eats it! [to Bilbo] If Baggins loses, we eats it whole.
 * Bilbo: [long pause] Fair enough. [puts his sword away]
 * Gollum: [looks at the sword, then, as Sméagol, looks at Bilbo innocently] But Baggins first.
 * Bilbo: [thinks for a moment] Thirty white horses on a red hill. / First they champ, then they stamp, / Then they stand still.
 * [Pause]
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol; thinks for a moment] Teef? [Bilbo has a look of defeat] TEEF! [laughs] Oh, yes, my precious! But we...we only have... [as Gollum] Nine. [shows his teeth, Bilbo shows a disgusted look] Our turn. Voiceless it cries / Wingless flutters / Toothless bites / Mouthless mutters.
 * Bilbo Baggins: Just a minute.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Oh! Ooh! We knows! We knows! [as Gollum] Shut up!
 * Bilbo: [looks at the pond in the cave] Wind. It's wind! Of course it is.
 * Gollum: [snarls] Very clever, hobbitses. Very clever...!
 * Bilbo: [pulls out his sword to prevent Gollum from attacking him] A-A-A-A-A-A box without hinges, key, or-or lid / Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Um...No, uh...Box. Uh, uh, uh, um...Box, a lid and a key...
 * Bilbo: Well?
 * Gollum: It's nasty. [as Sméagol] Box...Key, lid, and...
 * Bilbo: Do you give up?
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Give us a chance, precious! Give us a chance! [strains his memory] EGGSES! Eggses! Wet, crunchy little eggses, yes! Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes! Yes! [as Gollum] We have one for you. All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal. Answer us.
 * Bilbo: [nervously] Give me a moment, please! I gave you a good long while. [muttering to himself] Birds, beasts... Beasts? Trees, flowers... [out loud] I don't know this one.
 * Gollum: Is it...tasty? [singsong voice] ♪Is it scruuuuumptiooooooooouuuuuuus??♪ [grabs Bilbo from behind] Is it crunchable?!
 * Bilbo: [jumps back and points his sword] Let me think! Let me think! [tries to think of the answer, but is stumped]
 * Gollum: [grins] It's stuck. Bagginses is stuck... [pause] Time's up. [starts to crawl down]
 * Bilbo: [realizing] Time. Time... [louder] The answer...is time. [Gollum groans in frustration] Ahem. Actually, it wasn't that hard.
 * Gollum: Last question. Last chance. [picks up a rock]
 * Bilbo: Okay... [thinks]
 * Gollum: Ask us. [pause] ASK US!!
 * Bilbo: Yes, yes. All right. [thinks, putting his hand in his pocket, speaks to himself] What have I got in my pocket?
 * Gollum: [believing Bilbo asked him a riddle] That's...That's not fair. It's not fair! That's against the rules! [throws the rock down upset] Now ask us another one!
 * Bilbo: [realizing] No. No, no, no. You said ask me a question. Well, that is my question. What have I got in my pocket?
 * Gollum: Three guesses, precious. It must give us three. [holds up only two fingers]
 * Bilbo: Three guesses. Very well. Guess away.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Handses!
 * Bilbo: [shows Gollum his hand] Wrong. Guess again.
 * Gollum:[as Sméagol] [searching through bones sitting by him] Fishbones, goblins' teeth, wet shells...Bat wings...Oh... [paws the ground, groaning in frustration] KNIFE!!! [as Gollum] Oh, shut up!
 * Bilbo: Wrong again. Last guess.
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] String! [as Gollum] Or nothing.
 * Bilbo: Two guesses at once. Wrong both times. [Gollum tips over, falls, and starts crying] So...come then. I won the game; you promised to show me the way out.
 * Gollum: Did we say so, precious? Did we say so? [looks at Bilbo suspiciously] What has it got in its pocketses?
 * Bilbo: That's no concern of yours. You lost.
 * Gollum: "Lost"? "Lost"? "Lost"?! [reaches into his pocket for the Ring, but panics to find it missing; as Sméagol] Where is it? Where is it?! No! Where is it?! NOOOOO!!!!! No! Lost! Curse us and splash us, my precious is lost!
 * Bilbo: [quickly takes the ring out of his pocket and hides it behind his back] What have you lost?
 * Gollum: [as Sméagol] Mustn't ask us! Not its business! NO!!! Gollum! Gollum! [cries for a moment, Bilbo starts to feel pity for him, who looks at his reflection in the water and his sadness slowly turns to anger] What has it got in his nasty...little...pocketses? [Bilbo holds the ring behind his back and points his sword at him, who realizes that Bilbo has the ring] He stole it. He stole it! AHHHH!!! HE STOLE IT!!!!! [throws a rock at Bilbo, who reflects it with his sword and runs off with Gollum on his tail]

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 * [Gandalf and the dwarfs are making their escape through the goblin tunnels but they are stopped by the Great Goblin and surrounded by goblins as well]
 * Great Goblin: You thought you could escape me! [swings his club at Gandalf that pushes him back] What are you gonna do now, wizard? [Gandalf pokes the Great Goblin's eye with his staff. Gandalf uses Glamdring to slice the Great Goblin's belly. He falls to his knees and looks at Gandalf] That'll do it.
 * [Gandalf uses Glamdring to split the Great Goblin's throat. He dies and falls on the bridge. The bridge breaks underneath and the dwarfs and Gandalf fall down deep in the cavern below, they all survived as they landed safely on the ground]
 * Bofur: Well, that could have been worse.
 * [The dead body of the Great Goblin lands on top of them]
 * Dwalin: You've got to be joking!

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 * Gandalf: What happened to him? Tell me!
 * Thorin: I'll tell you what happened! Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our hobbit again; he's long gone.
 * Bilbo: [emerges from hiding] No, he isn't.
 * [The company looks relieved]
 * Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins! I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!
 * Kili: Bilbo! We'd given you up!
 * Fili: How on earth did you get past the goblins?
 * Dwalin: How indeed?
 * [Gandalf sees Bilbo slip the Ring into his pocket, unnoticed by the others]
 * Gandalf: Well, what does it matter? He's back.
 * Thorin: It matters. I want to know, why did you come back?
 * Bilbo: Look, I know you doubt me. I know - I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag-End. I miss my books. And my armchair, and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back. Because...you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.

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 * [Last lines]
 * [After narrowly escaping Azog, Gandalf revives Thorin. He awakens, and panics; his last recollection before losing consciousness was of Bilbo lunging at an orc that was about to behead him]
 * Thorin: The halfling...
 * Gandalf: It's all right. Bilbo is here. He's quite safe.
 * Thorin: [gets to his feet and rounds on Bilbo] You! What were you doing?! You nearly got yourself killed! [advances on him] Did I not say you would be a burden?! That you would not survive in the wild?! And you had no place amongst us?! [then relieved] I have never been so wrong in all my life. [embraces Bilbo] I am sorry I doubted you.
 * Bilbo: I would have doubted me too. I'm not a hero, or a warrior, or even a burglar. [they watch the eagles fly off] Is that what I think it is?
 * [They look at the lonely mountain in the distance.]
 * Gandalf: Erebor, the Lonely Montain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of Middle Earth.
 * Thorin: Our home.
 * Oin: A raven, the birds are returning to the mountain.
 * Gandalf: That my dear, Oin, is a thrush.
 * Thorin: We'll take it as a sign. A good Omen.
 * Bilbo: You're right. I do believe the worst is behind us. [smiles]
 * [The thrush flies to the Lonely Mountain. It picks up a snail and starts basking it against a rock. The tapping echos through the halls of Erebor and awakens Smaug, who is sleeping under a massive pile of gold]

Cast

 * Ian McKellen as Gandalf
 * Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins
 * Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield
 * James Nesbitt as Bofur
 * Ken Stott as Balin
 * Sylvester McCoy as Radagast the Brown
 * Barry Humphries as The Great Goblin
 * Cate Blanchett as Galadriel
 * Ian Holm as Old Bilbo Baggins
 * Christopher Lee as Saruman
 * Hugo Weaving as Elrond
 * Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins
 * Andy Serkis as Gollum/Sméagol
 * Aidan Turner as Kili
 * Dean O'Gorman as Fili
 * Graham McTavish as Dwalin
 * Adam Brown as Ori
 * Peter Hambleton as Gloin
 * John Callen as Oin
 * Mark Hadlow as Dori
 * Jed Brophy as Nori
 * William Kircher as Bifur
 * Stephen Hunter as Bombur
 * Lee Pace as Thranduil
 * Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug/Necromancer
 * Manu Bennett as Azog
 * Conan Stevens as Bolg
 * Jeffrey Thomas as Thror
 * Thomas Robins as Thrain
 * Bret McKenzie as Lindir
 * Jarred Blakiston as Musical Elf
 * Andrew Fitzsimons as Elf
 * Branden Casey, Carl Van Room & Cameron Jones as Thranduil's Lieutenants

Taglines

 * From the smallest beginnings come the greatest legends.