The Longest Journey

The Longest Journey is an award-winning adventure game developed by Norwegian studio Funcom and first published in 1999. The game is set in the parallel universes of Arcadia, a world of magic, and Stark, a world of science and technology and follows the protagonist April Ryan on her journey through these worlds. '''Have you ever had a dream so real... you are not sure if you are awake or still dreaming?''' Taglines

April Ryan

 * There's a storm heading this way. Even the weather sucks in my dreams. I feel so charmed.
 * It's a nest, padded with large scales. Very large scales. For some strange reason, I have a feeling I should get the hell outta here before the tenants return.
 * There are only two things that are worse than an empty canvas: death and taxes.
 * Life should carry a big yellow caution-sticker. It's certain to kill you sooner or later.


 * I can't believe they wouldn't let me on the shuttle, just because my clothes stink and I look like a bum!
 * I'm the Windbringer. I'm the Waterstiller. I'm April Bandu-embata of the Banda, and the Venar Kan-ang-la. I'm a Shifter. I will some day become the Thirteenth Guardian, protector of the Balance. And I'm April Ryan. This is who I am.

April's diary entries

 * 18 feels kinda like 17, only I can buy a gun and pilot a hovercraft.
 * I'd kinda figured that the number 18 would cast light into the deep dark chasm of my soul and reveal some grand truth about the universe. Like the meaning of life, or at least some explanation as to why all the guys are complete idiots.
 * I need to start dreaming about boys and shopping… you know, the important things in life.


 * Should I go get myself committed now or after dinner?
 * If I AM insane, why aren't I seeing fluffy pink rabbits right now?
 * Sundays are made for sleeping in. Sundays are made for walking around in baggy clothes, watching movies, nursing headaches and hanging out with your friends at the cafe. Sundays are NOT made for going to the worst neighbourhood in town to find a kid who might be able to give you the information necessary to infiltrate a powerful cult that plans to take over the known universe. That's what Mondays are for.
 * Dear Diary, note to self: the next time anybody says the word "destiny"… run like hell!
 * Hope Street Projects! Not exactly the friendliest place in town. It's more of a "shoot first, then shoot again, then pull the trigger a few more times before asking questions" kinda place. And I'm not even sure they bother with the "asking questions" part anymore.
 * Why does the boat have to keep moving around? Why can't they make a boat that just stays still? I mean they got magic, right? [sic]


 * I've been lucky so far. I'm counting on my luck lasting just a little bit longer. Pleeease?
 * I can think of only one word right now, and it won't really do me any good. HELP!
 * If God or the Balance or some other cosmic force is watching right now, why don't we agree on this? You get me out of this, I owe you a favour. Deal? Is that a yes?

Crow

 * Don't blame a bird for trying to be a gentleman… gentlebird.
 * Oh, bloody typical. I told her, she didn't believe me — girls always disappear on me. Always.
 * No. No-no-no. That's so disgusting. No one told me I was gonna be pecking pigeon crap when I joined up for this adventure.
 * Ah, curses and damnation, and all things mean and ugly… fine!

Dialogues

 * April: F.U.B.?
 * Terminal: Fair Use Bureau. They are authorized to carry deadly weapons.




 * April: Where's everybody this morning?
 * Fiona: Mickey's tied up in the basement… Mind you, she's not literally tied up, of course — although that is a tempting thought.




 * April: She. It was a she. A female dragon.
 * Emma: What, you could tell from the skirt, high heels and lipstick?




 * Stanley: Oh, don't ever say those two words when I'm around. I don't think my ulcer can take it.
 * April: "You" and "nice"?
 * Stanley: That's funny. No, "working" and "not". Don't use those two words in the same sentence. Damn, I get creeps even when I say them.




 * April: I thought you'd be ecstatic to have people work twenty-four hour shifts?
 * Stanley: Oh, don't get me wrong sweetheart. There's nothing I'd want more. But you see, for some reason it is illegal to make people work that long.




 * April: You're just being cryptic again. It's like soap opera sex. Lots of boring dialogue and when they finally do go to bed, everything's dark and covered by blankets.
 * Cortez: You want the full monty, then?




 * Cortez: Stand back, señorita.
 * April: What for? What are you doing?
 * Cortez: Well, Alice, I'm sending you through the looking-glass.




 * Cortez: Vamos. Enter the light.
 * April: Don't say that. It sounds too ominous. Just… tell me what's gonna happen.
 * Cortez: You're about to take the first step on the longest journey of your life.




 * April: Good story, though. Solid, solid material. Ever consider doing a book?
 * Umber Ianos: Aye, but the agents in Marcuria be bloodthirsty vampires with no thought but to milk your life's blood.
 * April: Oh, so they take an outrageous commission, then?
 * Umber Ianos: No! They actually be bloodthirsty vampires with a penchant for biting your neck when you ain't be looking.
 * [sic]




 * Cortez: So my secrets are being revealed, are they?
 * April: I wouldn't say that, because you're still a mystery to me. More so.
 * Cortez: Good. You see, señorita, mystery is important. To know everything, to know the whole truth, is dull. There is no magic in that. Magic is not knowing, magic is wondering about what and how and where.




 * April: [to Zack] I would call you bastard if I didn't think you would take that as a compliment.




 * Actor Cop: The only things getting in and out of the station today are police officers, prisoners and garbage.
 * April: Aren't they all pretty much one and the same thing?




 * Actor Cop: Cutting words from a wench's barbed mouth!
 * April: What did you call me?
 * Actor Cop: Uhm, sweet princess?
 * April: That's more like it.




 * April: I think I saw the first movie. It stunk.
 * Actor Cop: I agree. But this one has a certain… je ne sais quoi… flair, that the original lacked.
 * April: You mean, more violence, more sex, less plot?
 * Actor Cop: That's it!




 * Burns Flipper: Are you in the market for a neutronium bomb, by the by? Got a hot one sitting in storage, give it to you for a cool one hundred million, hah, bargain! Interested?
 * April: Sure, let me just check my wallet. No! Of course not! Are you crazy?




 * [In the cathedral]
 * Cortez: I’m not a Catholic, but I still like coming here to meditate. To pray, if you want.
 * April: If you’re not a Catholic, who do you pray to?
 * Cortez: To the Universe. To the Balance. To the rock in this floor and the air around us. To you and to myself.
 * April: What is that, Buddhism?
 * Cortez: It’s life, senorita, pure and simple.




 * Crow: Yeah, so what's so important you'd sacrifice a bird's happiness and well-being?
 * April: The fate of two worlds, billions of people, and the Balance.
 * Crow: Yeah? Yeah? So… Oh, forget it.

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 * Captain Nebevey: We don't let women on board "The White Dragon".
 * April: Isn't that a bit sexist?
 * Captain Nebevey: Sexy is just what I worry about, what with a boatful of men being out at sea for months at a time.
 * April: Not sexy, sexist.
 * Captain Nebevey: I'm a sailor, girl, what do you expect, good bedside manners?

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 * April: I guess it is you.
 * Crow: Of course it's me! How many birds do you know with both good looks and a sense of humour?
 * April: You got a sense of humour?
 * Crow: Oh, funny, that's funny.

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 * Crow: Looking for a lost Mole then, are we?
 * April: Yeah, and they're called the Banda.
 * Crow: I never got into that whole PC thing. "It's not tyrocks, it's the Tyren. Don't say chicks, say birds. Don't say birds, say women". I dunno, it's all a little too complicated for a simple man of the air like myself.

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 * April: Wake up!
 * Crow: Huh? Turn off the big light, Mommy.
 * April: It's called the sun, Crow. Welcome to the world of the living.
 * Crow: Oh, I was having this weird dream about a big ass turkey wearing a pair of red shoes… and you were there, and he was there, and… and… maybe it wasn't a dream after all?
 * April: I think it's safe to say that you need therapy.

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 * Crow: [to April] It's chilly out here. You should really be wearing a sweater, doll. You don't wanna catch a cold, not with the fate of the known cosmos on your shoulders!

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 * April: Crow, I need you to fly over there and get some of those berries for me. And Crow?
 * Crow: Yes, ma'am?
 * April: Don't eat the berries.
 * Crow: No, ma'am.

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 * [Roper Klacks' evil laugh.]
 * April: Who was that? Wait, don't tell me, evil wizard. They all sound like Richard III on crack to me.

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 * April: Yeah, well, I can pull a rabbit out of a hat.
 * Roper Klacks: I can pull a hat out of a rabbit. What is your point?

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 * Crow: Nice digs you found here, though I'd cut down on the mad alchemist decor just a little. It's just not you.
 * April: I don't plan on sticking around, Crow.
 * Crow: Heck, why not? You'll be mobile, home security is not an issue, and you can strike fear into the hearts of men.
 * April: When you put it like that… No.

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 * April: I guess they forgot all about me.
 * Crow: I think the captain said something like "Let the wench drown and justice be done". But, uh, I could've been wrong.

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 * [April is going to sit down on a twig, which turns out a stickman.]
 * Stickman: Solar eclipse!
 * April: Oh my god! I hate this place, I can't even sit down without crushing the natives!

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 * April: Crow, can you fly across the canyon to the base of the tower?
 * Crow: Can a chick lay eggs? Well, I know you can't, but… Yeah! I can do that. Um, what was it you wanted me to do again?

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 * Crow: Fine! I'll put my life on the line, tempt fate, and risk a certain and painful death by magical poisoning… if!
 * April: If what?
 * Crow: If you promise to pluck my fleas for the next… year.
 * April: One year? So honour and glory mean nothing to you?
 * Crow: Not as much as a good flea plucking, no.

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 * [April talking to Charlie at the Spirit Dig]
 * April: Understand?
 * Charlie: That life, even when difficult and painful, is a gift. That love is priceless, and rare, and precious. That every good action, every good thought, counts.

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 * April: How can you do that? How can you remember every story ever told?
 * The Teller: The secret is to tell them often, and to tell them in your own words, not the words of your ancestors.
 * April: Doesn't that mean that the stories change with every generation?
 * The Teller: Yes, as all Tales must. Change is important, otherwise the Tales will have no meaning to us... They will be just words, and we do not care about the words. We care about what the words tell us.

Taglines

 * Have you ever had a dream so real… you are not sure if you are awake or still dreaming?
 * You are about to take the first steps of the longest journey of your life.