The Longest Yard (1974 film)

The Longest Yard is a 1974 American comedy sports-drama film about a sadistic warden who asks a former pro quarterback, now serving time in his prison, to put together a team of inmates to take on (and get pummeled by) the guards.
 * Directed by Robert Aldrich. Written by Albert S. Ruddy and Tracy Keenan Wynn.

First Down...And Ten Years To Go.taglines

Paul Crewe

 * The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!
 * You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it.

Granville

 * Alright men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called 'incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.' Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth.

Dialogue

 * Warden Hazen: How do you think we'd do against the pros?
 * Paul Crewe: That team against the pros?
 * Warden Hazen: Yeah.
 * Paul Crewe: Well, you'd have a real problem.
 * Warden Hazen: Well, how do you think we'd do against the cons?


 * Captain Knauer: Dammit, Warden, I think this game's a big mistake.
 * Warden Hazen: Captain, not only will you have the chance to hone our team to a fine edge, you'll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life. Why is it, do you suppose, that I can walk through this yard, surrounded by hate, and in total command?
 * Captain Knauer: Because you've got 15 gun turrets all around you that say you can.


 * Paul Crewe: Whattya got for me, Sunshine?
 * Caretaker: I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want. You name it. I'm the best hustler in the joint.
 * Paul Crewe: How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?
 * Nate Scarboro: He can get you laid in here... with a woman.


 * Caretaker: Most of these old boys don't have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let your teammates down, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
 * Paul: Oh I did, did I?
 * Caretaker: Oh, I ain't saying you did or you didn't. All I'm saying is that you could have robbed banks, sold dope or stole your grandmother's pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off of a football game, man that's un-American.


 * Paul: You take your football down here real serious, don't you?
 * Caretaker: You mind if I ask you one question?
 * Paul: Yes, I do mind!
 * Caretaker: Why did you do it?
 * Paul: It's a long story.
 * Caretaker: Well, I got eight years.


 * Paul Crewe: What's his name?
 * Caretaker: Indian.
 * Paul Crewe: That makes sense.
 * Caretaker Now don't go making any ethnic jokes.
 * [They meet the Indian]
 * Paul Crewe: Paul Crewe. Heard you played some football.
 * The Indian: Yeah.
 * Paul Crewe: Where?
 * The Indian: Oklahoma State.
 * Paul Crewe: Oklahoma State U?
 * The Indian: Prison.
 * Paul Crewe: Well, first thing we have to do is get you out of here.
 * The Indian: How?
 * [Paul looks back at Caretaker]
 * Paul Crewe: Well, we'll work on it.


 * Paul Crewe: You know, there's only one thing I'm sorry about.
 * Warden Hazen: What's that, Mr. Crewe?
 * Paul Crewe: That you're not out here with us knockin' heads.
 * Warden Hazen: I'm afraid I'm a little old for that.
 * Paul Crewe: No, you never had the guts to begin with!


 * [Caretaker and Crewe are watching a prisoner go through his workout]
 * Caretaker: Well, there he is. Connie Shokner, baddest cat in the joint. Even the guards are scared of him. He killed three people on the outside and two since he's been in here.
 * Paul Crewe: Yeah, that karate's some bad stuff.
 * Caretaker: Oh, that was before he learned karate.
 * Paul Crewe: Say, what's he doing now?
 * Caretaker: Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.


 * Paul Crewe: Nate, if you're thinking about winning this game, then you're as crazy as he is.
 * Nate Scarboro: Well, maybe so. But you spend fourteen years in this tank, you begin to understand that you've only got two thing left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you. Your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.


 * Samson: I think I broke his fuckin' neck!
 * Announcer: I think he broke his fuckin' neck!
 * Team doctor: One side, one side. [Examines injured player] Get the ambulance! I think he broke his fuckin' neck.
 * Samson: See! I told you I broke his fuckin' neck!

Taglines

 * First Down...And Ten Years To Go.
 * It's Survival of the Fiercest and Funniest

Cast

 * Burt Reynolds - Paul "Wrecking" Crewe
 * Eddie Albert - Warden Hazen
 * Ed Lauter - Captain Knauer
 * Michael Conrad - Nate Scarboro
 * James Hampton - Caretaker
 * Harry Caesar - Granville
 * John Steadman - Pop
 * Charles Tyner - Unger
 * Mike Henry - Rassmeusen
 * Jim Nicholson - Ice Man
 * Bernadette Peters - Warden's Secretary
 * Joe Kapp - Walking Boss
 * Richard Kiel - Samson
 * Robert Tessier - Connie Shokner
 * Ray Nitschke - Bogdanski
 * George A. Jones - Big George