The Man with Two Brains

The Man with Two Brains is a 1983 comedy film about a brain surgeon who tries to end his unhappy marriage to spend more time with a disembodied brain.
 * Directed by Carl Reiner. Written by Steve Martin, Carl Reiner, and George Gipe.

So funny you'll laugh your head off.taglines

Dr. Hfuhruhurr

 * [Grabbing an expensive vase during a marital spat] Our marriage lies broken on the floor, like the shards of glass on our honeymoon suite! [He slams the vase to the ground, but it bounces back up into his hands.] Ahhh! Oh-ho! 19th-Century Indian rubber vase, eh?!


 * [After Dolores finally consummates her marriage to Dr. Hfuhruhurr&hellip;] I never knew it could be like that! [sighs] So… so… professional!

Dialogue

 * [A recurring scene in the operating room&hellip;]
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Metzenbaum scissors!
 * Nurse: Metzenbaum scissors!
 * [A cat meows.]
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Get that cat out of here!


 * [Dr. Brandon is arguing with Dr. Hfuhruhurr about his performing the operation on Dolores.]
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: But there's only one other person I'd trust to perform this operation &mdash; Beckerman!
 * Dr. Brandon: Well Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe! You know that!
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Exactly! Not only is he dead, he's six thousand miles away!


 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: The only time we doctors should accept death is when it's caused by our own incompetence!
 * Dr. Necessiter: Nonsense! If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it!


 * [Dr. Hfuhruhurr is rowing with Anne's enjarred brain, complete with sunhat and sunglasses, along an idyllic creek.]
 * Anne Uumellmahaye: I don't think there's a girl floating in any jar anywhere who's as happy as I am! Oh, Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you!
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? [pauses] Sorry, I forgot.


 * [Dr. Hfuhruhurr removes Anne's brain from the oven Dolores tried to bake her in. He tries to cool her off in the sink.]
 * Anne Uumellmahaye: I&hellip; I think I'm alright.
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Count to ten!
 * Anne Uumellmahaye: 1&hellip; 2&hellip; 3&hellip; 4&hellip; 5&hellip; 6&hellip; 7&hellip; 8&hellip; [pause] 10.
 * [Dr. Hfuhruhurr turns to Dolores in a rage.]
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: You! You cooked her nines!


 * [As the police try to stop the experiment&hellip;]
 * Inspector: You are playing God!
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: SOMEBODY has to!


 * [Dr. Hfuhruhurr is arguing with Delores.]
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: [Exasperated] Dolores, I am making a citizen's divorce.
 * Dolores: [laughing] What?
 * Dr. Hfuhruhurr: By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare our marriage null and void! E pluribus unum!

Taglines

 * So funny you'll laugh your head off.


 * DANGER: HEALTH WARNING: Watching This Movie May Cause Severe Brain Damage


 * Steve Martin Is A World Famous Surgeon. He Invented Screw Top, Zip Lock Brain Surgery. Trust Him.

Cast

 * Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
 * Kathleen Turner - Dolores Benedict
 * David Warner - Dr. Alfred Necessiter
 * Paul Benedict - Dr. Necessiter's butler
 * George Furth - Timon
 * Peter Hobbs - Dr. Brandon
 * Earl Boen - Dr. Felix Conrad
 * Randi Brooks - Fran
 * James Cromwell - realtor
 * Francis X. McCarthy - Olsen
 * Estelle Reiner - tourist in elevator
 * Merv Griffin - himself
 * Jeffrey Combs - Dr. Jones
 * Sissy Spacek - Anne Uumellmahaye (voice; uncredited)