The Princess Diaries

The Princess Diaries is a 2001 American coming-of-age comedy film about a girl who finds out that she is the heir apparent to the throne of Genovia. With her friends in tow, she tries to navigate through the rest of her sixteenth year.
 * Directed by Garry Marshall. Written by Gina Wendkos, based on Meg Cabot's 2000 young adult novel of the same name.

'''She rocks. She rules. She reigns.'''

Mia Thermopolis

 * Somebody sat on me again!
 * Please don't crush my soy nuts.
 * Me? A... A princess? Shut... up!!!
 * I can't be a princess! I'm still waiting for the normal body parts to arrive!
 * Just in case I am not enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara!
 * [to her cat, Fat Louie] You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.
 * You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!
 * Tell me, how does my mother, or any person for that matter, go into a parent/teacher conference and come out with a date?
 * I don't want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.
 * [sitting in her broken-down car, in the rain] Is this punishment for driving without a licensed driver in the front seat?! [sobs and collapses across the front seat] I am invisible... and I am wet.
 * (At the Genovian Independence Day Ball) Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... but I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening, I had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has my entire life. But then I wondered how I'd feel after abdicating my role as Princess of Genovia. Would I feel relieved, or would I feel sad? And then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word 'I.' And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there's like seven billion other people out there on the planet, and... sorry, I'm going too fast. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that's probably a much better use of my time. See, if I were Princess of Genovia, then my thoughts and the thoughts of people smarter than me would be much better heard, and just maybe those thoughts could be turned into actions. So this morning when I woke up, I was Mia Thermopolis. But now I choose to be forevermore, Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.

Joe

 * No matter how many times you push that button, it will still go up and down the same way.
 * The flags mean I can park anywhere I want. We keep the flags.
 * I have never worn pantyhose but it sounds very dangerous.
 * [last lines] Princess, look out the window... and welcome to Genovia.

Lilly Moscovitz

 * [to Joe] You know you look like Shaft?
 * [to Mia, after meeting Joe and seeing the limo for the first time] Is your mom dating an undertaker?
 * I'm taking your charm off of my charm bracelet and it's going in the dirt!
 * Will you come on my cable show? [to Mia after hearing she's a princess]
 * [to Michael and Mia] Wait up you guys! Wait for me! [two other students stop for her] Not you, I don't even know you!

PA Annoucements

 * Will the Feng Shui club please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn?
 * Remember, virtual homework may not be submitted for actual credit.

Geraldine Gupta

 * [on the phone] Gupta... mmhh... mmhh... mmhh. [hangs up] The Queen is coming - to Grove High School.
 * [the cheerleaders freak out when a baseball bounces their way] Oh, come on, girls! It's a ball, not a snake. Back in formation!

Nelson Davenport

 * Mia Thermopolis is the daughter of local eclectic artist, Helen Thermopolis. They currently live in a refurbished firehouse south of Market Street. Mia is also the only grandchild of Queen Clarisse Renaldi, whose husband, King Rupert, passed away last year. This is Nelson Davenport, KRLH.
 * No longer does Mia stand for missing in action, Genovia has a new princess!

Others

 * Helen Thermopolis: [first lines] Time for school! Stop daydreaming, you'll be late for school.
 * Paolo Puttanesca: I love your eyebrows. We'll call them Frida and Kahlo. If Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx, their child would have your eyebrows.
 * Suki Sanchez: It was just last night that San Francisco's own little princess partied at the beach. But what started out as innocent fun, soon turned into allegedly, too much fun. This is Suki Sanchez for KPFW.
 * Philippe Renaldi (Mia's late father): [from his letter to Mia for her 16th birthday] "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey."

Dialogue

 * Mia: Good morning, Mrs. Gupta.
 * Geraldine Gupta: (Looks at Lily) Morning, Lily. (Looks at Mia) ...Lily's friend.


 * Clarisse: (upon first seeing Mia) You look so... young.
 * Mia: Uh, thank you. And you look so... (Clarisse raises her eyebrows) clean.


 * Mia: Now, what did you want to tell me?
 * Clarisse Renaldi: Something that, I think, will have a very big impact upon your life.
 * Mia: I already had braces.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: No, it's bigger than orthodontia.


 * Clarisse Renaldi: Helen, if Amelia refuses to accept the throne, then Genovia will cease to exist as we know it.
 * Helen Thermopolis: So the future of your country is in the hands of my 15-year-old?


 * Mia: [sees Clarisse in her house] Oh, this is a nightmare! I'm going back to bed! [starts to walk out]
 * Helen Thermopolis: [desperately] Mia, the-the three of us have to talk.
 * Mia: [bitterly] Oh, OK. Um, is there maybe something else about me and my life that just maybe I might want to know about? Um-oh no, are you two waiting to take me on a talk show somewhere and to let me know I have a twin sister who's a duchess?
 * Clarisse Renaldi: You have a cousin who's a contessa. Fondly known as Bartholomew. Actually, we call him Pookie.


 * [Mia storms out in the middle of their conversation to the attic]
 * Clarisse: Where is she going?
 * Helen: The tower. [runs after Mia] Mia, you can't run away from everything!
 * Clarisse: [to herself] She has a tower?


 * Helen Thermopolis: This is getting us nowhere! Talk to me!
 * Mia: I can't talk to you right now. I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: I'm late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal!


 * Mia: Joe, can you drop us off a block from the school? I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.
 * Joe: This is a non-riot hearse. If it were a hearse, there would be silence in the backseat.


 * Mia: I can't do this, I'm a girl!
 * Anita Harbula: What am I, a duck?


 * Mia: Hey, Joe?
 * Joe: Mm-hmmm?
 * Mia: I'm gonna turn the backseat into a dressing room so I can change into a proper outfit for Madame, OK?
 * Joe: OK. And don't forget your shoes. [hands Mia her new shoes]
 * Mia: Ahh, thanks.
 * Joe: Strange town, San Francisco. When I purchased the pumps, they asked if I wanted them wrapped or if I was going to wear them.


 * [Joe is teaching Mia how to dance.]
 * Joe: This is between a waltz and a tango.
 * Mia: It's a wango?


 * [During Mia's makeover, Paolo takes off her glasses]
 * Paolo: Do you wear contact lenses?
 * Mia: Well, I have them, but I don't like to wear them that much.
 * Paolo: [breaks Mia's glasses in half] Now you do!
 * Mia: [in shock] You broke my glasses!
 * Paolo: You broke my brush.


 * [after giving Mia a makeover]
 * Paolo: [to Queen Clarisse] Your Majesty, Paolo is exhausted. [points at two pictures of Mia] Because your majesty, only Paolo can take this and this, and give you...
 * Gretchen and Helga: A princess. [they moved the pictures to reveal a pampered Mia]


 * Joe: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
 * Mia: Eleanor Roosevelt said that.
 * Joe: Ah, yes. Another special lady like yourself.


 * Clarisse Renaldi: [after Mia, Prime Minister Motaz, and Sheila Motaz make a scene from eating the ice cream too quickly] Have you ever experienced that instant headache when you eat ice too quickly?
 * Emperor Sakamoto: [briefly shakes his head] No.


 * [After Mia accidently runs into a trolley with her car]
 * Nun #1: [on her cell phone] 911, I'd like to report an accident... They put me on hold!
 * Nun #2: Oh, for the love of God!


 * Mia: [on her green bathing suit] Okay I look like an asparagus.
 * Helen Thermopolis: But a very, very cute asparagus!

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Clarisse Renaldi: Do we have any problems?
 * Charlotte Kutaway: [overenthusiastically] No, everything's perfect. Perfect. It's wonderful.
 * Clarisse Renaldi: You're not very good at lying, Charlotte.
 * Charlotte Kutaway: No, I'm not, your Majesty.

<hr width="50%"/>
 * Michael: Why me?
 * Mia: Because you saw me when I was invisible.

Cast

 * Julie Andrews as Clarisse Renaldi, Mia's grandmother and reigning Queen of Genovia
 * Anne Hathaway as Mia Thermopolis, heir to the throne and Princess of Genovia
 * Héctor Elizondo as Joe, Clarisse's head of security and Mia's limousine driver
 * Heather Matarazzo as Lilly Moscovitz, Mia's eccentric and socially conscious childhood best friend
 * Robert Schwartzman as Michael Moscovitz, Lilly's older brother who harbors romantic feelings for Mia
 * Mandy Moore as Lana Thomas, a popular cheerleader who bullies Mia and other students
 * Caroline Goodall as Helen Thermopolis, Mia's mother; an artist
 * Erik von Detten as Josh Bryant, a popular, egotistical student on whom Mia develops a crush
 * Patrick Flueger as Jeremiah Hart, a friend of Mia and Lilly's; an aspiring magician
 * Sean O'Bryan as Patrick O'Connell, Mia's English teacher who begins to date Helen
 * Sandra Oh as Geraldine Gupta, vice principal of Mia's school
 * Kathleen Marshall as Charlotte Kutaway, Clarisse's secretary
 * Mindy Burbano as Anita Harbula, Mia's gym teacher
 * René Auberjonois as the voice of Philippe Renaldi, Mia's late father and former Prince of Genovia
 * Gerald Hathaway, Hathaway's father, portrays Philippe in photographs and flashbacks


 * Larry Miller as Paolo Puttanesca, Mia's hairdresser and beautician
 * Patrick Richwood as Mr. Robutusen, Mia's neighbor; a writer
 * Mayor Willie Brown as himself
 * Fat Louie as himself, Mia's cat

Taglines

 * She rocks. She rules. She reigns.
 * From the director of Pretty Woman and Runaway Bride
 * For every girl who's never dreamed of being a princess