The Really Loud House

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The Really Loud House is an American workplace comedy comedy-drama single-camera teen family musical pop rock drama comedy situation comedy sitcom television series of live-action spin-off series based on the animated series.

The Macho Man With the Plan [1.1]

 * Lincoln: [wakes up] Today is a big day. Today is the day Lincoln Loud becomes a man. [gets out of bed] And I am super pumped! [cut to him in the bathroom, brushing his hair] I've always been known as the Man with the Plan, but tonight, I'm gonna take it up a notch. My best friend Clyde and I will be watching the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and getting our official Macho Man badges.




 * [The Louds kids gather in the living room for a family meeting while talking over each other]
 * Lynn Sr.: Order! Order!
 * Rita: Zip it, people! [the kids quiet down] Your father said order.
 * Lynn Sr.: That I did. Now. [clears throat] As some of you may have heard…
 * Siblings except Lily: [deadpan] We know. Tomorrow's your half-birthday.
 * Lily: [joining in] Day!
 * Lynn Sr.: Tomorrow is my half-birthday, but that's not what this meeting's about. But feel free to mark it on your calendars. [chuckles] Moving on. Lucy…
 * Lucy: [as her siblings look at her] What?
 * Lynn Sr.: …has been up for three days straight, and last night she scared the bejeezus out of me. So, there's gonna be a new rule around here.
 * Lincoln: [to the viewers] Probably gonna be no more sneaking up on people.
 * Lucy: [slides next to him and jumpscares him] You think so?
 * Lincoln: You really should start wearing a bell.
 * Lynn Sr.: And the new rule is… Everyone goes to bed before midnight, not one minute later.
 * Lincoln: NOOOO! This isn't fair! It's Lucy's fault! Why should we have to suffer?! [he and all his sisters start protesting]
 * Lynn Sr.: Order! Order! Don't make me have to count! Here we go! One, two--
 * Rita: [holds up her fist, silencing the siblings] You did it, honey.
 * Lynn Sr.: Sorry I had to be so harsh with them. In this house, it's all for one and one for all.
 * Rita: And Lucy's not the first kid to make a mistake.
 * Lynn Sr.: Yeah, Mom's right. You've all been responsible for new rules around here.




 * [Lincoln gathers his sisters in Lisa and Lily's room]
 * Lincoln: Ok, so here's the plan. Tonight at midnight, you guys will take Dad out to Jean Juan's French Mex for a half-birthday celebration. I will stay here and watch the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and get my Macho Man Badge.
 * Lori: Look, Lincoln, I'm only home from college for two days, and we all have a lot of stuff to do. So if you want us to help you, you're gonna have to help us with our stuff.




 * Lisa: I'm entering Todd in a robotics competition, and it seems another contestant also has a robot named Todd.
 * Lincoln: Why can't he change his robot name?
 * Lisa: [sighs] His Todd was named after his recently-deceased grandfather. Some guys have all the luck.
 * Lincoln: So you need me to come up with a new name for Robot Todd?
 * Lisa: Precisely.
 * Lincoln: How about Beau?
 * Lisa: No.
 * Lincoln: Jamie?
 * Lisa: Lamey. This is a list of names that I don't like. [shows a massive board filled with X'ed out names, then flips it over to show the other side is also full of X'ed out names]
 * Todd: We've been here for hours.




 * [Nighttime at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet; The Louds, and Todd, disguised as Lincoln, are all assembled for Lynn Sr.'s half-birthday]
 * Lynn Sr.: I am having such a good time. [chuckles] Lynn, how's that beef baguette in a bread bowl?
 * Lynn: Great! Perfect pre-game meal for my hockey championship tomorrow. Carbo load! [keeps eating]
 * Rita: You still need to chew carbs, sweetie.
 * Lynn: [mouth full] I do?




 * Todd: It seems there really is no stronger bond than family.

The Chore Thing [1.2]


Ro-Bro [1.3]


The Blemish Dilemish [1.4]

 * [Daytime at Royal Woods Middle School…]
 * Lincoln: Ok, people. We're not leaving here until we've come up with some hot stories. Let's go, the news doesn't make itself.
 * Clyde: Actually, it does.
 * Lincoln: Helping or hurting, Clyde, helping or hurting? I'm sorry. I'm a little on edge this morning.
 * Rusty: [leaning in close to Zach and Liam] He's got a butt pimple that's been revealing barking at him.
 * [Zach and Liam both wince in disgust]
 * Lincoln: I wanted to keep that between us, Rusty. I guess I should have been more clear when I said, "Let's keep that between us." Now, does anyone have a news story? [Stella raises up her hand] Stella.
 * Stella: Are butt pimples contagious?
 * Zach: I have absolute proof that the school nurse might be an alien.
 * Liam: I don't know what's wrong with that melon story I pitched. Thing's grown to darn near the size of a baby head.
 * Clyde: What's the hook? Why are we watching?
 * Liam: Because, it's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. You put a live feed on that and the audience will be happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow.
 * Lincoln: So we got nothing.
 * Liam: Is that nothing with the melon, or nothing without the melon?
 * Rusty: Thank God for "Real Talk with Rusty". Without my show, our ratings would be in the toilet.
 * Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Real Talk with Rusty" has been the top-rated middle school news show in the tri-state area for seven months running.




 * Lynn Sr.: [inspecting Leni's sunburned arm] What did I tell you about sunbathing on the roof?
 * Leni: Don't fall off.
 * Lynn Sr.: Just pour some of this on it.
 * Leni: Ranch dressing?
 * Lynn Sr.: Uh-uh. Cool ranch.




 * Luan: Our brother has a butt pimple.
 * Luna: It's the only thing standing between him and what might be true love.
 * Leni: A butt pimple!

The Manager with the Planager [1.5]


The Banana Split Decision [1.6]

 * Lincoln: You wouldn't think my sisters and I would be so excited about parent-teacher conferences. But every year, Dad promises that if more than half of us get a positive review, he'll treat us to the biggest dessert in Royal Woods: Auntie Pam's Banana Split in a Canoe!




 * Lincoln: I hate to throw my parents under the bus, but we're talking about a canoe full of ice cream. Come on.

The Guy Who Makes You Fly [1.7]


I Wanna Hold Your Hand [1.8]

 * Lincoln: [coming out of the front door; stiffly] If you're a Royal Woods middle schooler, today is the biggest day of the year, the annual Kangaroo Hop, the Super Bowl of middle school dances.
 * Liam: Cut! You're all stiff, like a baby calf in a blizzard.
 * Lincoln: Sorry, Liam.
 * Liam: Haven't you ever talked to a camera before?
 * Lincoln: [to the viewers] Liam is really excited about getting to shoot his first solo Action News piece, a documentary about the Kangaroo Hop.
 * Liam: You know what? I'm gonna scrap the opening for now and get some B-roll of the decorations committee.

Part 1 [1.9]


Part 2 [1.10]


Heart and Soul [1.11]


No Louds Allowed [1.12]

 * Lincoln: Order! Order! Order!
 * Lynn Sr.: Is he allowed to call family meetings now?
 * Rita: This better be important. [sighs as Lily suddenly starts bawling off-screen] Lily's on a sleep strike. We only slept 28 minutes last night. Oh, we should do the stroller trick.
 * Lynn Sr.: Mm-hm.
 * Lincoln: I've called this family meeting to address the constant infringement on my personal space, A.K.A. my bedroom. Which isn't very big to begin with.
 * Lana: Your room's not that small.
 * Lincoln: Lana, I have to step outside to change my mind.
 * Lynn Sr.: [chuckles] You know, I should tell more jokes in my family meetings. [Rita gives him a stern look] I'll get the stroller.
 * Luna: Lincoln, you're the only one without a roommate.
 * Clyde: I beg to differ. I'm here quite often, and this morning, my cubby had an engine block in it.
 * Lana: That's a carburetor, dude.
 * Clyde: Great. That's much more normal.


 * Lana: You guys didn't let us into your club.
 * Lisa: Well, Leni and Luna didn't let us into their club.
 * Luna: Well, Clyde and Lincoln didn't let us into their club.
 * Clyde: Hey, we had a very good reason for that. Lincoln, what was the reason?
 * Lincoln: I don't know. But I'm getting some of those chicken wings.
 * Lynn: You cross that line, you're gonna get decked by one of those wings.
 * Lincoln: You wouldn't.
 * Lana: [throws a chicken wing at Lincoln as he crosses the line] No, but I would. Oh, and by the way… [eats one] They're delicious.
 * Lincoln: Well, then maybe you should try them with some… [grabs some tortilla chips and dips them in guacamole and sauce] Nachos. [throws them at Lana]
 * [Clyde laughs at her as she wipes the nachos off herself]
 * Lynn: Oh, is that funny, Clyde? Because the potato skins… are hilarious! [throws some potato skins at him]
 * [Leni throws a meatball in Luna's left eye]
 * Luna: Leni… why'd you do that?
 * Leni: I don't know. Seemed fun.
 * Lisa: [grabs another meatball and throws it at Leni's dress] It is fun.
 * Clyde: Nothing's more fun than guacamole! [grabs a fistful of guacamole and throws it at Lynn]
 * Lucy: [as Lynn throws some stuffing at her in retaliation] That was a mistake.

Home Is Where the Hero Is [1.13]
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Sweet Dreams Are Made of Cheese [1.14]

 * Rita: [as the twins pour themselves some cereal with plates of broccoli behind them] Uh-uh. You're not eating another thing until you finish this broccoli.
 * Lola: Broccoli's gross.
 * Lana: And cold.
 * Rita: Well, it was warm when I served it to you last night.
 * Lana: But we don't wanna waste all this delicious cereal when there's so many hungry people in the world.
 * Rita: Well, Lisa and Mr. Nibbles can eat it. [takes the cereal bowls away as the twins groan]
 * Lincoln: Mr. Nibbles loves his cereal.
 * Lisa: Mr. Nibbles won't be receiving any tasty rewards until he successfully completes this week's mouse maze.
 * Luan: [enters the kitchen] If he did complete it, it would be "a-maze-ing." [laughs; no response] "A-maze-ing?" Because the mouse goes through the maze?
 * Rita: I love you, sweetheart.
 * Luan: That joke would've been funny if Mr. Coconuts was here. Has anyone seen him? He's been lost for three days.

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 * Lincoln: [terrified as he and Clyde are being watched by Boris in a cloak and holding a scythe] Clyde, I think we've bored ourselves to death.
 * [Haiku and Dante appear next to Boris]
 * Boris: Where is the entrance to the underworld? [Lincoln and Clyde slowly look at each other in confusion] The basement?
 * Lucy: [appearing near the basement] Welcome, fellow Morticians' Club members. Darkness and snacks await you. [escorts her mortician friends down to the basement] This meeting will commence by acknowledging those members who are sadly not with us. Bertrand and Morpheus are at their callback for "Guys and Dolls"-- congrats to them both-- and Persephone is at Kumon.
 * Dante: [raises his hand] Is today show-and-tell?
 * Lucy: Dante, for the last time, it's not called show-and-tell. It's called share-and-scare.

Spelling and Doorbelling [1.15]
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All Is Fair in Love and Sleepovers [1.16]

 * Lori: Bobby? Can we focus on our date, please?
 * Bobby: Oh, sorry. I-I feel like I've done this all before.
 * Lori: You literally have.

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Better Together [1.17]

 * Principal Ramirez: [over PA] Will Clyde McBride please report to the principal's office?
 * Students: Ooh!
 * Mr. Bolhofner: Ooh!
 * [Clyde arrives at Principal Ramirez's office and is shocked to see his dads there]
 * Harold: Young man, you have got some explaining to do.
 * Howard: You can start by explaining why… you are so fabulous!
 * Principal Ramirez: Congratulations! You made it into the BETR program!
 * Clyde: [stunned] Really?!

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 * Principal Ramirez: [over PA] Will Lincoln Loud please report to the principal's office? Lincoln Loud to the principal's office.
 * Lincoln: That's the call! It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. As the French say, hasta luego! [exits the classroom and heads to Principal Ramirez's office, while walking backwards]
 * Rusty: I didn't know Lincoln spoke French.

Some Buddy to Love [1.18]
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What's a Mother to Redo? [1.19]

 * [Lynn Sr. and the Loud sisters are preparing a Mother's Day breakfast in the kitchen for Rita with Lincoln and Clyde filming the whole thing]
 * Clyde: And we're rolling.
 * Lincoln: This is gonna be the greatest Mother's Day ever.
 * Lynn Sr.: And now for the star of the show: Mom's favorite breakfast fajitas. [carefully removes the fajitas from the oven] Sorry, dads everywhere. Here we go. This was a great idea, Lynn.
 * Lana: This was my idea.
 * Lynn: You said Mexican food. I had the idea for the smokin' fajitas.
 * Lucy: I had the idea to burn the toast.
 * Leni: Okay, well, it was my idea to use the plate.
 * Lynn Sr.: [stopping the arguing] Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It is Mother's Day. I get half the credit, and you divide the rest by 11.

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 * [Lynn Sr. holds a meeting in Lisa and Lily's room after the breakfast fajitas accidentally spilled on Rita's legs]
 * Lynn Sr.: That is not the face of a Happy Mother's Day.
 * Lisa: That definitely stung.
 * Lynn Sr.: Now while I bear a quarter of the blame, the rest is yours divided by eleven.
 * Loud Kids: What?!
 * Lana: I mean, it was Lynn's idea to do the fajitas.
 * Lynn: Yeah, because you said Mexican food.
 * Lana: That was after the fact that you said…
 * [Everyone starts arguing]
 * Lynn Sr.: Okay, okay, alright, alright, alright! Let's not play the blame game! We all had a hand in this.
 * Lincoln: Not me and Clyde. We didn't mess up.
 * Clyde: Yeah.
 * Lincoln: We just captured it on film.
 * Clyde: With excellent framing and crisp sound.
 * Lynn Sr.: Look, the point is, the greatest mom ever deserves the greatest Mother's Day ever.
 * Lana: She's the best.
 * Lynn: Yeah, you're right, Pops.
 * Lynn Sr.: And now that her burns are healed, it's the perfect time for a redo. So you guys get busy with some fresh ideas, and I'm gonna go give Mom the good news.

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 * Lori: [referring to Rita] She is literally the most patient person I know.

Little-ol-lady-whoooo Has Talent [1.20]
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Part 1 [2.1]
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Part 2 [2.2]
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Nice Guys Finish First [2.3]
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Get Out of Dodgeball [2.4]
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Last Friend Standing [2.5]
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Louder by the Dozen [2.6]
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Louds in Love [2.7]
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The Other Man with Way Better Plans [2.8]
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Tennessee Surprise: Love is in the Air [2.9]

 * Lincoln: After a month of planning, I'm finally heading to Tennessee to give the girl I love the surprise of her life. And there she is right now.

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Loud Family Court: The Flames of Justice [2.10]

 * [Lynn Sr. and Rita are fighting over who gets to be the court judge by wrestling over the gavel]
 * Rita: I'm the judge.
 * Lynn Sr.: I'm the judge.
 * Rita: You never let me be the judge.
 * Lynn Sr.: This is a very, serious job, Rita.

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McLouds vs. Machine [2.11]
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Little Sisters' Big Adventure [2.12]

 * Lucy: [getting a call from Lori on her phone] Hi, Lori. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sure. [hangs up] She forgot to turn off her curling iron.

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Loud Blues [2.13]
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The Boyfriend Stays in the Picture [2.14]
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