The Replacements (film)

''This is about a 2000 film. For the Disney channel show, go to The Replacements (TV series).''

The Replacements is a 2000 film about a group of substitute players hired during a pro football strike.
 * Directed by Howard Deutch. Written by Vince McKewin.

Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple. taglines

Shane Falco

 * I know you're tired, I know you're hurting. I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style...Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

Coach Jimmy McGinty

 * [giving the replacement players a pregame speech before their first game] Alright, Sentinels, listen up. Welcome to professional football. [the players clap] I know there's a lot people out there who're going to say that your accomplishments today will soon be forgotten; that you're not real players, that this isn't a real team. And I say that is BULLSHIT! Because as of today, you're all professional football players: you're being paid to play. I want you to remember that because those men whose places you've taken forgot that a long time ago.
 * [addressing team] Listen up! This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now Dallas has made a big mistake out there tonight. They haven't been afraid of you, and they should be, because you have a powerful weapon working for you tonight: There is no tomorrow for you... and that makes you all VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE!
 * [closing narration] When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop, or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out, and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know, was that their lives had been changed forever because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance, these men lived it.

Dialogue

 * [McGinty arrives to recruit Falco. Falco, after a hard day's work, collapses onto his boat, right in front of McGinty]
 * Coach McGinty: [Surprising Falco] You look like a swordfish I caught once. Yeah, he hit the deck just like that. [Falco stares at him] You know who I am?
 * Shane Falco: Yeah, Jimmy McGinty. You're the old coach from the 80's. [Picks himself up]
 * McGinty: Yeah, we met just before the Sugar Bowl.
 * Falco: I remember. [Shakes hands with McGinty]
 * McGinty: Hell of a game, that Sugar Bowl. What'd you lose that by, 40 points?
 * Falco: That'd be 45.
 * McGinty: Sometimes a game like that just sticks with you, and you can never shake it off.
 * Falco: Got three concussions to prove it.
 * McGinty: That's why girls don't play the game.
 * Falco: What're you doing here, coach?
 * McGinty: I'm back with the Sentinels; I want you to quarterback them. I've found the best guards available to protect you and a wide receiver even you couldn't overthrow.
 * Falco: ...I'm retired.
 * McGinty: Retired, huh? [Gestures to his run-down houseboat] Well, it looks like things have been going real well for you since.
 * Falco: I've got no complaints. It's quiet here. Nobody bothers me.
 * McGinty: Well, that's the real good thing about plankton, you know: it pretty much keeps to itself.


 * Coach McGinty: You know what separates the winners from the losers, kid?
 * Shane Falco: The score.
 * McGinty: Getting back up on that horse after you've been kicked in the teeth. I've watched films of your game since the Sugar Bowl. You should've been carrying a clipboard that first year, not trying to carry the whole team. Your teammates leaned on you, and you crumbled. Is that how you wanna be remembered?
 * Falco: I don't wanna be remembered at all.
 * McGinty: You're still young. If you do well, who knows what'll happen once the strike ends? Look, I'm not going to make any promises, Shane, but why not take a chance, huh? Rather than hang out here, scraping crap off the bottom of somebody else's toys.


 * Shane Falco: Hey, coach, can I ask you a question?
 * Coach McGinty: Yeah, go ahead, shoot.
 * Falco: Why me?
 * McGinty: ...I look at you, and I see two people: the man you are and the man you ought to be. Someday, those two are gonna meet, and should make for one hell of a football player.


 * [After the Sentinels lose their game against Detroit, thanks to Falco's audible]
 * Coach McGinty: FALCO! If I had wanted Cochran to have the ball, I would have called it that way!
 * Shane Falco: I read Blitz.
 * McGinty: Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared!
 * Falco: I read BLITZ!
 * McGinty: [confronts Falco] Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line.


 * [at the bar, where Eddie Martel mocks Brian Murphy's being deaf]
 * Shane Falco: Lay off.
 * Eddie Martel: Lighten up, Falco. It's not like he can hear what I'm saying.
 * Falco: I can.
 * [Murphy writes something on a bar napkin and hands it to Falco. Falco reads it, giving a soft chuckle]
 * Martel: What's it say?
 * Falco: "There's one good thing about being deaf; it makes it easier to ignore the assholes." [Murphy taps Martel on the chest and points to him; Falco translates the sign language] "You..." [Murphy makes a circle with his left hand and wiggles his right index finger in it] "Asshole."
 * Martel: Heh, that's funny. [Martel sucker punches Falco. Replacement players start to stand up, while Murphy starts to confront Martel, when Shane stands up again]
 * Falco: Hey, it's cool! It's cool! [To Martel] You've had enough?
 * Martel: [Chuckling with his teammates] Look at this guy. You've got balls, Falco. You've got shit for brains, but you have balls.
 * Falco: Well, thank you. [To Bateman, who's by the jukebox] Hey Danny! Remember what I told you about redshirts in practice?
 * Bateman: Yeah.
 * Falco: Forget about it.
 * Bateman: Ok...
 * Falco: Hey Martell. [punches him]
 * Bateman: Yaaaah! [Fight breaks out during which Danny beats up Martel, who's wearing a red shirt]


 * [Coach McGinty discusses the players' fears, but the players keep giving literal fears]
 * Shane Falco: Quicksand.
 * Clifford Franklin: Oh, shit, Shane! Hey, quicksand's a scary mother, man. I mean, first of all, they suck you right in, and even if you scream, you get all that muck in your mouth–
 * Coach McGinty: That's not what he meant, Franklin.
 * Franklin: What?
 * McGinty: That's not what he meant.
 * Franklin: Well, what're you talking about there, coach?
 * McGinty: Well, why don't you ask him.
 * Franklin: [Turns to Falco] Hey, what's up, Shane?
 * Falco: You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink, until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. [everybody stays silent]
 * Action Jackson: That's deep shit, Shane. That's some deep shit!
 * McGinty: Anything else you're afraid of?
 * Franklin: ...Going back to the mini-mart.
 * Jumbo Fumiko: Shipping yard.
 * Walter Cochran: The auto plant.
 * Earl Wilkinson: [pointedly] Prison.
 * McGinty: Yeah, all right. The truth is you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of... A second chance. And you're afraid of blowing it. We all are, but now our fear is shared, and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! [players cheer]


 * ''[At halftime, in the Sentinels' locker room, losing to Dallas 17-0)
 * Clifford Franklin: I ran it just like you said! You just underthrew me!
 * Eddie Martel: This isn't a track meet, asshole, you have to look for the ball!
 * Franklin: You better back off, man.
 * Martel: You-!
 * Jimmy McGinty: Hey, hey! [To Martel] I'll pull you off the field, you spoiled little punk.
 * Martel: And who do you think O'Neill's going to side with: some burned out old coach, or somebody who puts fans in the stands?
 * McGinty: [Starts to approach Martel] You sonofabitch...
 * [Players separate them]
 * Leo Pilachowski: Hey, what do you think you're doing?! We got a game to play!
 * Martel: Nobody can beat Dallas with these losers!
 * Shane Falco: [enters locker room] I can.
 * Martell: Hi Falco, it's great to see ya, now get the hell out of MY LOCKER ROOM!
 * Falco: Coach?
 * McGinty: What the hell took you so long?
 * Falco: Traffic. [players cheer him on]
 * McGinty: Suit up!
 * Martell: What?! [To McGinty] O'Neil will fire your ass!
 * McGinty: It won't be the first time!
 * Martell: This is bullshit. I'm going to put an end to this right now. [heads for the locker room exit]
 * Nigel Gruff: Come and get some then! [Pulling his shirt off, spitting into his right hand, and faces Martell] You big fairy!
 * Martell: [chuckles at Nigel but the grin disappears as the whole team moves to surround him.] This doesn't change anything, Falco. I'm an All-Pro quarterback. I've got [points two fingers at him] TWO Super Bowl rings! And you'll never be more than a replacement player.
 * Falco: Yeah... [looks at McGinty] yeah, I can live with that. [team applauds]
 * Franklin: [refers to Martell] My brothers, will somebody please, PLEASE get this asshole out of here?
 * [Andre Jackson leads players in shoving Martell out]


 * [Sentinels offense huddles up for one last play, after a touchdown was called back by a penalty]
 * Jumbo Fumiko: Sorry, Shane. Sorry, everybody.
 * Shane Falco: No problem, Jumbo. Just make sure you rip someone's head off on this one.
 * Jumbo: Consider it done.
 * Falco: Alright. So, besides me, who really wants the ball?
 * [Murphy claps his hands and gestures to himself]
 * Falco: Yeah. You want it, Brian. Let's hook up. [Calls the play, while gesturing in sign language for Murphy] DC Left, Y Motion, 88 Warrior. Gentlemen... [Sticks his hand into the middle of the huddle, the rest of the players in the huddle put their hands on his] It's been an honor sharing the field of battle with you. It's on one, on one. Ready?
 * Sentinels Offense: BREAK!

Taglines

 * Pros on strike. Everyday guys get to play.
 * Throw the ball. Catch the girl. Keep it simple.
 * Hit hard.

Cast

 * Keanu Reeves - Shane Falco
 * Gene Hackman - Coach Jimmy McGinty
 * Brooke Langton - Annabelle Farrell
 * Orlando Jones - Clifford Franklin
 * Jon Favreau - Daniel Bateman
 * Rhys Ifans - Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff