The Sandlot

The Sandlot is a 1993 film about a boy who moves to a new neighborhood right before the end of his 5th grade school. After meeting some new boys at the local sandlot, he is eventually accepted into their group of baseball-loving friends. When he unknowingly brings a baseball signed by Babe Ruth to the field to play with, he gets them into "the biggest pickle any of them had ever seen".
 * Directed by David M. Evans. Written by Robert Gunter.

The adventure of a lifetime, the summer of their dreams...the dog of their nightmares. taglines

Narrator (adult Smalls)

 * [voiceover] Only one kid in history had ever attempted what Benny was about to...and he got eaten. So we were worried, real worried, even when Benny brought out the secret weapon: Shoes guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher—P.F. Flyers.
 * [voiceover] If it weren't for Benny, I never would have made a single friend that summer, because all those other guys thought I was a lost cause.
 * [voiceover] Benny would've played ball all day, night, rain, sun, tidal wave, whatever. Baseball was the only thing he cared about, but among the other things we did besides baseball, going to the pool is what he tolerated best.
 * [voiceover] We all lived in the neighborhood for a couple of more years—mostly through junior high school—and every summer was as great as could be. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.

Babe Ruth

 * Let me tell you something about it, kid. Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people hardly ever take the chance, either because they're too scared or because they're unable to recognize it when it spits on their shoes. This is your big chance, and you should never let it go by...
 * Remember, kid, there's heroes and there's legends; heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.

Dialogue

 * Benny: Man, you think too much! I bet you get straight A's and shit!
 * Smalls: No, I got a B once. Well, actually it was an A minus but it should have been a B.
 * Benny: Man, this is baseball. You'd better stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun, you would've caught that ball. You ever have a paper route?
 * Smalls: I helped a guy once.
 * Benny: Okay, well, chuck it like you throw paper. When your arm gets here, just let go. Just let go, it just might be easy.
 * [starts to jog away]
 * Smalls: How do I catch it?
 * Benny: Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air. Let me take care of it.
 * Squints: About time, Benny! My clothes are goin' out of style.
 * Yeah-Yeah: They already are, Squints.
 * Squints: Shut up!


 * Ham: Hey, you want a s'more?
 * Smalls: Some more what?
 * Ham: No, no, you want a s'more?
 * Smalls: I haven't had anything yet. So, how can I have some more of nothing?
 * Ham: [annoyed] You're killin' me, Smalls. These are s'mores stuff, okay? Now, pay attention. First, you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the mallow. When the mallow is flamin'...[blows the fire out]...you stick it on the chocolate. Then, you cover it with the other end. Then, you scuff. [takes bite of s'more] Kind of messy, but it's good. Try some.


 * Narrator: Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine, which we constantly lied about, we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there. It wasn't really the pool honeys, like we said; because, if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd have just peed our pants. We all went because, well, because Wendy Peffercorn was the lifeguard.
 * Benny: [watching Wendy on the lifeguard chair putting on suntan lotion] Oh, man!
 * Yeah Yeah: Yeah, yeah. Too cool.
 * Timmy: She don't know what she's doing.
 * Tommy: She don't know what she's doing.
 * Benny: Yeah, she does. She knows exactly what she's doing.
 * Squints: I've swum here every summer in my adult life. And every summer, there she is. Lotion. Oiling. Oiling! Lotion. Smiling. Smiling! I can't take this no more!


 * [Squints has just kissed Wendy while she was giving him CPR]
 * Wendy: [offended] Ugh! You little pervert!
 * Timmy: Oh, man, he's in deep shit.
 * [Squints is taken to his feet and is escorted out of the pool by Wendy with his friends following him.]
 * Wendy: And stay out! [Storms back to the pool]
 * [Once out of the pool, another lifeguard throws the Sandlot Kids' clothes out of the pool. Once away Ham and the boys are getting dressed, while Wendy returns to her post as a lifeguard clearly offended by Squints.]
 * Ham: Oh, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?
 * Squints: Of course I did. I've been plannin' it for years.
 * Ham: You guys, he planned that! He knew what he was doing!
 * Smalls: [adult voiceover] Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little taller that day and we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low...and cool. Not another one among us would have ever, in 1,000,000 years, even for $1,000,000, had the guts to put the move on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman. And he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over to Squints, and smiled.


 * Squints: Oh, no!
 * [A snooty rival baseball team called the Tigers, whom the Sandlot kids are enemies with arrive in their uniforms and bicycles.]
 * Phillips: Ah, it's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
 * Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
 * Ham: What'd you say, crap-face?!
 * Phillips: I said, you shouldn't be even allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
 * Ham: Come on! We'll take you on, right here, right now! Come on!
 * Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
 * Ham: Yeah, right now!
 * Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
 * Ham: Watch it, jerk!
 * Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
 * Ham: Moron!
 * Phillips: Scab eater!
 * Ham: Butt sniffer!
 * Phillips: Pus licker!
 * Ham: Fart smeller!
 * Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
 * Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
 * Ham: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
 * Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
 * Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
 * Ham: You play ball like a girl!
 * [the Sandlot kids gasp as the entire group stands in shocked silence; the Sandlot kids start laughing]
 * Phillips: [shocked smile] What did you say?
 * Ham: You heard me.
 * Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
 * Ham: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
 * Kids: Yeah!
 * Phillips: Let's go!
 * [the Tigers ride away, and the Sandlot kids cheer for Ham]
 * Timmy: [to Ham; pats his arm] Good job.
 * Ham: [about the Tigers] Jerks. [scene fades to Ham putting on Umpire mask] PLAY BALL! [puts on umpire mask] Hurry up, batter. It's gonna be a short game, and I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter doesn't even swing] Ha-ha! That's one. [scene cuts to new pitch] [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt, and tell him to walk backwards. [scene cuts to new pitch] The heater. Here it comes. I dare ya. [Ham puts the batter off, he swings and misses] Strike three, you're out. [scene cuts to new pitch] Hey. Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked.
 * Phillips: [gets distracted and misses] Shut up, Porter!
 * Ham: Hey, hey, hey. I'm just trying to start a friendly conversation. Come on. [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?


 * Ham: [At bat, having missed Kenny's first pitch] You call that pitching?! [Kenny laughs] This is baseball, not tennis. Give me something to hit!
 * Kenny: All right, Ham. This is my heater! I DARE you to hit it!
 * Ham: You'll be sorry.
 * Kenny: You want the heater? I'll give it to ya. [Pitches the ball to Ham, who hits a home run over the one fence, much to the team's dismay]
 * Ham: Yeah! That's how you do it, Smalls! [Slowly starts to round the bases]
 * Benny: Ham, you idiot! Now we can't play no more!
 * Kenny: Great, you [Throws his glove at Ham] idiot!
 * Ham: [Running past first base, as Timmy also throws his glove at him] It was a heater!
 * Bertram: [Smacks Ham with his glove, alongside Squints and Tommy] Stupid idiot!
 * Ham: Low and outside! Just like I like it. [The team continues to chase after Ham, smacking him with their hats, and pelting him with their gloves, except Benny, who quietly gathers up his gear, and Smalls, who watches in confusion]


 * Smalls: No, you don't understand! That wasn't my ball!
 * Squints: [shocked] What do you mean, that wasn't your ball?
 * Smalls: It was my stepdad's. I stole it from his trophy room. It was a present or something. Somebody gave it to him, but we gotta get it back. He's gonna kill me!
 * Squints: Listen to me, Smalls. This is a matter of life and death. Where did your old man get that ball?
 * Smalls: What? I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. Why? [the Sandlot kids are confused] Yeah, she even signed her name on it. Some lady named... Ruth. Baby Ruth.
 * Everyone else: BABE RUTH??!!
 * [Everyone screams in horror and darts toward the fence]
 * Ham: NO!!!
 * [Everyone rushes back to Smalls screaming after seeing the ball getting taken by The Beast.]
 * Smalls: Hey, guys! What's going on?
 * Kenny: The Beast got it!
 * Timmy: You're dead as a doornail, Smalls.
 * Tommy: You're dead as a doornail, Smalls.
 * Timmy: Smalls, you mean to tell me you went home and swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, and you brought it out here and actually played with it?!
 * Tommy: And actually played with it?!
 * Smalls: Yeah. Yeah, but I was gonna put it back.
 * Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
 * Smalls: Yeah. Yeah. You keep telling me that! Who is she?!
 * Ham: [shocked] WHAT?! WHAT?!
 * Kenny: The Sultan of Swat!
 * Bertram: The King of Crash!
 * Timmy: The Colossus of Clout!
 * Tommy: The Colossus of Clout!
 * The Sandlot Kids: Babe Ruth!
 * Ham: [emphatically] The Great Bambino!
 * Smalls: [in shock and horror] Oh, my God! You mean that's the same guy?!
 * Everyone else: Yes!
 * Benny: Smalls, Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player that ever lived. I mean, people said he was less than a god, but more than a man. Like, Hercules, or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth...well, more than your whole life, man.
 * Smalls: [nauseated] Ohh... I don't feel so good. [collapses to his knees as he's almost about to throw up]
 * The Sandlot Kids: Uh-oh, fan him. Give him air. Give him air. [ they start fanning Smalls to cool him down]
 * Smalls: We gotta get that ball back.


 * [Mr. Mertle confronting Benny and Smalls after they brought back Hercules]
 * Mr. Mertle: Well, first time anybody’s gotten the best of old Hercules. Why didn't you just knock on the door? I'd have gotten it for ya.
 * [the gang attacks and yells at Squints and Bertram mimics Jonas Grumby aka The Skipper's hat whack from Gilligan's Island]
 * Other Sandlot Kids: Squints!
 * Ham: Oh, my God! I can't believe you!
 * Squints: We got the ball back, didn't we?
 * Ham: But we almost got killed!
 * Squints: Didn't we get the ball back? [pushes the others] Just shut up! We got the ball back.


 * Benny Rodriguez: [referring to the chewed-up baseball] That's really nice of you, but that ball really is signed by Babe Ruth.
 * Mr. Mertle: So is this one...with the rest of the 1927 Yankees.

Taglines

 * The adventure of a lifetime, the summer of their dreams...the dog of their nightmares.
 * They're more than a team. They're the best buddies in the entire history of the world.
 * A piece of paradise a half block wide and a whole summer long.
 * You're killing me, Smalls!

Cast

 * Tom Guiry - Scotty Smalls
 * David Mickey Evans - Adult Smalls/Narrator
 * Mike Vitar - Benjamin "Benny" Franklin Rodriguez
 * Patrick Renna - Hamilton "Ham" Porter
 * Chauncey Leopardi - Michael "Squints" Palladorous
 * Marty York - Alan "Yeah-Yeah" McClennan
 * Brandon Quintin Adams - Kenny DeNunez
 * Grant Gelt - Bertram Grover Weeks
 * Shane Obedzinski - Tommy 'Repeat' Timmons
 * Victor DiMattia - Timmy Timmons
 * Denis Leary - Bill
 * Karen Allen - Scotty's mother
 * James Earl Jones - Mr. Mertle
 * Marley Shelton - Wendy Peffercorn
 * Wil Horneff - Phillips
 * Pablo P. Vitar - Older Benny
 * Art La Fleur - Babe Ruth