The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing

The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing is a novel by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, a Ghanian feminist writer and blogger. The novel captures the author's journey toward sexual freedom and her interview with over thirty African women across the globe.

Quotes

 * We achieve freedom when we let go of the weight of societal expectations, and when we find our people – those who love us, care for us, and hold us up when we start slipping.
 * Speaking on freedom that comes with letting go of societal expectations


 * Many women lose all the privileges of a free woman when they get married and what they gain is nothing compared to what they lose.
 * Speaking on the loss of freedom when women get married


 * I feel most free when I am myself, stripped of all pretences, lounging naked on my bed, my boobies freely rolling to wherever they choose to land, my belly relaxed and soft, my thighs apart, my hands wherever they may choose to lie. With no one around me, I am my most free self.
 * Speaking freedom and the serene atmosphere it holds.


 * I spent years avoiding sex with guys because I didn’t want anyone to gossip about me. I wish I had realized sooner that no matter what I did guys would claim to have fucked me every which way under the sun.
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 * Today I feel like my best sex life is being lived in my imagination. I’m a lot more free in my mind than I am in my body. I dream and fantasise a lot but I don’t necessarily create the kind of experiences that would allow me to enjoy the feelings that I think about.
 * 


 * I have learned over time that relationships require work. When you’re younger, you have a sense of love as being magical and so relationships happen in that particular space of magic, and it’s easy to feel that’s all one needs, but now I know that relationships require work, and constant work. The desire that is in the relationship also needs to be nurtured, and thought about, and reentered and reimagined.
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 * I’ve learnt to ask myself every day, Are you happy today? And if the answer is no I make a change.
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