The Simpsons/Season 30

The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family.

Bart's Not Dead

 * Dolph: Hey, Martin Princess. If you like that cello so much, why don't you marry it?
 * Chalmers: No heckling!
 * Skinner: Way to crush him, sir.
 * Kearney: Hey, Skinner! If you like Chalmers so much, why don't you marry him?
 * Skinner: Well, as the superintendent, he's married to all the principals.
 * Chalmers: Thank you. You've made the anniversary of my wife's death even more depressing.


 * Milhouse: She loves me, she loves me not. Oh, why do I always use flowers with two pedals?


 * Ralph: I'm turning my back on you. [does a 360] Hi, Bart!

My Way or the Highway to Heaven

 * Genevieve Bouvier: 'My husband is a collaborator!'
 * US Paratrooper: 'Well I've got a screenplay I've been looking for someone to help me write.'
 * Genevieve Bouvier: 'Not zat kind.'
 * US Paratrooper: 'If I just get something on the page, that's progress.'

Treehouse of Horror XXIX

 * Sea Captain: Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.
 * Lisa: SpongeBob?
 * Sea Captain: No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!


 * Sea Captain: An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.
 * Lisa: Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.
 * Cthulhu: Uh-oh.

From Russia Without Love

 * Moe: I'm putting on pants for this!

Krusty the Clown

 * Principal Skinner: I come bearing the thing you journalists hate most. News.

Daddicus Finch

 * Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman. I'm here with three local blue-collar men who voted for Trump. How do you feel now?
 * Blue-Collar Man: Please stop interviewing us.
 * Kent Brockman: Never!

The Girl on the Bus

 * Ralph: I have five face holes!

I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can

 * Ned: Diddly? They can't say that on TV.

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

 * Ralph: [inside the lobster tank] I'm expensive!

D'oh Canada

 * Lisa: While the children are bouncing around why we don't do a little bouncing too.
 * Bart: That it's even more romantic than what you said at quarter backs.