The Spy Next Door

The Spy Next Door is a 2010 American spy comedy family film directed by Brian Levant. The film was released on January 15, 2010 in the United States.

Quotes

 * Bob Ho: Can your mommy do that?


 * Poldark: Where is the file?
 * Ian: It's on my iPod on my desk at home.
 * Bob Ho: Now, see, you want to be a spy - never tall the truth to the bald guy.
 * Ian: Sorry. I'm new at this.


 * Nora: Mommy, that man can fly!


 * Ian: Oh. Hey, guys! Gotta go.


 * Russian Thug: What are you supposed to be?
 * Nora: A cyborg, sent from the future to blast you away!


 * Nora: I want Bob to be my daddy.


 * Farren: Gillian, your son is a psycho. He booby-trapped my hairdryer.
 * Ian: Nice hypothesis, but ya can't prove it.
 * Farren: Yeah, but I can hurt you.


 * Bob Ho: So, tell me more about Halloween.
 * Nora: It's the best. You get candy, everyone pretends to be someone else, and nobody knows who you really are.
 * Bob Ho: Sounds familiar.


 * Bob Ho: He is rare. He is amazing. He is the man.
 * Farren: How embarrassing.


 * Colton James: Oh, heck, man, don't get married. Just find some woman that you're gonna hate in five years and give her your house.


 * Colton James: [about Poldark] That man's so crooked, he could eat nails and poop corkscrews.


 * Colton James: Now, how the heck are you gonna get in there? Jet pack?
 * Bob Ho: It's in the shop.


 * Bob Ho: I've brought down dictators. How tough can three kids be?


 * Bob Ho: If a man marries you, he marries all four of you.
 * Gillian: Don't forget the pig, the cat, and the turtle.


 * Poldark: Tatiana, you can't imagine what it's like in there. The oppressive darkness, and the torture of empty days stretching for years. Prison is hell.
 * Creel: You were in there for 4 hours.


 * Poldark: I look like the French Prince of Belarus.


 * Ian: You know about fashion?
 * Bob Ho: No, but I know women. Wear it like this. It's cool. I saw it in a movie.
 * Ian: What movie? Octopussy? This isn't 1985.

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 * Glaze: Hey, loosen these things up!
 * Colton James: Oh, I'm sorry. What's wrong? Got the handcuffs too tight? I don't know how these things work. I'm just a dumb hillbilly.

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 * Poldark: How quickly can you give me orange jumpsuit?

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 * Ian: Hey, how are you doing? I'm Ian. If I told you have a beautiful body, you hold it against me?
 * Cute Gymnast: [disgusted] Yeow!
 * Bob Ho: At least you're not shy.
 * Ian: I wanted to talk to her in the worst way.
 * Bob Ho: Mission accomplished.

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 * Bob Ho: Family isn't whose blood you carry. It's who you love, and who loves you.

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 * Nora: [heading toward a Chinese restaurant] Doesn't look like they have chicken tenders here!

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 * Bob Ho: Yo, it's Ho.

<hr width=60%> [first lines]
 * Nora: Mom! Jethro's eating my underwear!

[pronounced "unduweahw"]

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 * Glaze: What took you so long to get here?
 * Bob Ho: Six minutes.
 * Glaze: You stop for a latte?
 * Bob Ho: Oh, I get it. You're, uh... What's the expression? Chopping my bust.
 * Glaze: Close enough.

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 * Ian: I hate it when old people have feelings.

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 * Glaze: Tell me he didn't get away.
 * Colton James: Oh, he's as gone as rum cake at an AA meeting.

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 * Colton James: Oh, while I'm thinkin' about it, they suspect there may be a mole at the agency.
 * Bob Ho: They suspect me?
 * Colton James: Noooo. You know Glaze thinks you're the sharpest barb on the wire.
 * Bob Ho: I've no idea what that means.

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 * Farren: Bob, this is Larry.
 * Larry: Pleased to meet you, sir.
 * Bob Ho: Let's get some food.
 * Farren: He goes to the university.
 * Ian: He's a poet. Isn't it cool?
 * Bob Ho: It's rad. It's awesome. It's jiggy for shizzy. It's bomb.

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 * Bob Ho: I have two words for you, Larry. 13.

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 * Nora: Boys are pigs.

Cast

 * Jackie Chan as Bob Ho
 * Amber Valletta as Gillian
 * Madeline Carroll as Farren
 * Will Shadley as Ian
 * Alina Foley as Nora
 * Magnús Scheving as Anton Poldark
 * Billy Ray Cyrus as Colton James
 * George Lopez as Glaze
 * Lucas Till as Larry
 * Katherine Boecher as Tatiana Creel
 * Jeff Chase as Russian Thug