The Stepford Wives (2004 film)

The Stepford Wives is a 2004 American black comedy/science fiction film. The film is a remake of the 1975 film of the same name. The film was directed by Frank Oz with a screenplay by Paul Rudnick and stars Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler, Christopher Walken, Faith Hill and Glenn Close.
 * ''Directed by Frank Oz and written by Paul Rudnick.

The wives of Stepford have a secret.

Roger

 * Oh, I feel like Nancy Drew in the mystery of the mid-life crisis.
 * [after he's de-Stepfordized] What am I wearing?

Mike

 * Only one can survive.

Claire

 * I asked myself, "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?" [gasps] Connecticut.
 * Today, we are going to discuss - well, it is probably the most important book any of us will ever read. Yes, it is provocative. But it is also inspiring: The Heritage Hills Special Edition Golden Deluxe Treasury of Christmas Keepsakes and Collectibles! [wives and Roger squeal and applaud with delight] This book said to me, "Let's celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ... with yarn".

Dialogue

 * Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
 * Bobbi: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really Merry Christmas!


 * Bobbi: Mace Windu and Amidala.
 * Max: And Boba Fett?
 * Bobbi: They were out.
 * Max: Mom.
 * [grumbles]
 * Bobbi: Here's $500.


 * Mike: My real name isn't Mike, it's just a nickname from where I used to work.
 * Joanna: Where?
 * Mike: Microsoft.
 * Ted: NASA.
 * Vic: Disney.
 * Stan: AOL.
 * Joanna: Is that why the women are so slow?


 * Joanna: Bobbie! Bobbie... this isn't you...
 * Bobbie: That's right, Joanna! This isn't me, it's a whole new me. I'm happy, and I'm healthy, because I understand what's important in life.
 * Joanna: Yes, your new book!
 * Bobbie: [starts advancing on Joanna] That's right! That's what's important, my new cookbook. And my husband, and my family, and making a perfect home. It's a lesson every gal needs to learn, especially you. I'm your friend, Joanna. I'm going to help you. You need me.
 * Joanna: You stay away from me!
 * Bobbie: You are driven.
 * Joanna: Well, sometimes...
 * Bobbie: And you're selfish! You want to rule the world! I can fix you. I can change you.
 * Joanna: [notices Bobbie's hand is resting upon the lit stove, yet she dosen't burn] What... have... they... done... to... you?
 * Bobbie: Let's get busy!


 * "Balance of Power" Host: Who makes more money?
 * Tara: [buzzes] I do!
 * "Balance of Power" Host: Who enters Iron Man triathalons every year and wins?
 * Tara: [buzzes] I do!
 * "Balance of Power" Host: Who secretly wishes they were married to a hot sexy lesbian?
 * Tara, Bob: [both buzz at once] I do!


 * Joanna: We're trespassing!
 * Bobbie: Only if we get caught.


 * Walter: She's not a robot. She never was. I couldn't do it.
 * Mike: Why not?
 * Walter: Because she's not a science project. Because I didn't marry something from RadioShack.
 * Mike: That's a shame.
 * Joanna: No, that's a man.


 * Joanna: Cupcakes anyone?
 * Dave: Cupcakes?! Hey, right on time. Joe, these are smokin'. [to Bobbie] Why can't you make stuff like this?
 * Bobbie: Why don't you?
 * Dave: Because I have a penis.


 * Charmaine: Nice khakis, Walter...
 * Walter: Thanks, I was experimenting...
 * Charmaine: Now, I know why they call it *Banana* Republic.


 * Joanna: How do I look?
 * Bobbi: Can I be perfectly honest?
 * Joanna: Mm-hmmmm.
 * Bobbi: You kind of look like Betty Crocker.
 * Joanna: I know.
 * Roger: At Betty Ford.


 * Walter: First of all, we are in the country now. So no more black.
 * Joanna: No more black? Are you insane?
 * Walter: You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating, Manhattan career bitches wear black. Is that what you want to be?
 * Joanna: Ever since I was a little girl.


 * [Last scene reveals Dave and the men in Stepford under House Arrest for their part in turning their wives into robots. They're being forced to shop for them. Dave meets up with a few men who are also pushing shopping carts.]
 * Dave: Hey, you guys. Which aisle is quilted paper towels? If I don't get the right kind, my wife's gonna kill me.
 * Man: Oh, aisle 3 and....
 * Announcer: No talking, keep shopping.

About The Stepford Wives (2004 film)

 * I have a feeling in my bones that for all its comedy and lightness, this movie's going to start a debate
 * Glenn Close


 * I think the idea of seeking perfection in ­people - and feeling they need to be perfect - is everywhere.
 * This isn't the film I would have chosen if I'd wanted to make a big political statement!
 * Nicole Kidman


 * There's such a backlash against feminism going on now. It seems like a conspiracy. The bottom line is about money: Get women back in their ­boxes and buying some products.
 * There may be a stand taken against women who are more successful than their men, but I don't think that's so important ­ultimately.
 * Bette Midler