The Tuxedo

The Tuxedo is a 2002 American comedy-action film directed by Kevin Donovan and starring Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Jimmy

 * That's definitely not a rental.


 * The name's Tong, James Tong.


 * When I look at you, I have a wet dream.

Clark

 * Never touch my tuxedo.


 * Jimmy, I hate to say this. But don't take advice from women about women.

Dietrich

 * You're helping me out by being a guinea pig for a new product.


 * We at Banning Springs have developed a new filtration process that would protect your assets against the biological holocaust that's coming.

Dialogue

 * Winton: Life's a bitch.
 * Del: He didn't drown, if that makes life any less bitchy.


 * Jimmy: You are very smart. Good speller.
 * Cheryl: Thanks, I graduated top two-thirds of my sixth grade class.

 [Del walks limp after being flipped incidentally by Jimmy.]
 * Del: Get some rest and medication!
 * Jimmy: What?
 * Del: We'll be in communication!

[Del turns her car engine on, and drives away]
 * Jimmy: But I don't have your phone number!

 [Jimmy tries on the Tuxedo.]
 * TUX: Welcome to the Tactical Uniform Experiment. Tuxedo recognizing new user. Mapping user's neurological structure. Activate wristwatch for desired function.
 * Jimmy: Demo... Okay, show me.

[Jimmy Set the Tuxedo to Demolition Mode.]
 * Jimmy: Uh Oh!
 * TUX: Caution... Demolition mode. The Tuxedo will consider any object a target and act to destroy it.
 * Jimmy: Oh, what's happening?
 * TUX: Exit the demolition mode immediately.
 * Lundeen: What's in.. Salt?.. [heart beating in the dropping cup water on floor]

Cast

 * Jackie Chan as Jimmy Tong
 * Jennifer Love Hewitt as Del Baine
 * Drew Fuller as Clark Devlin
 * Debi Mazar as Steena
 * Ritchie Coster as Dietrich Banning
 * Peter Stormare as Dr. Simms
 * Mia Cottet as Cheryl
 * Romany Malco as Mitch
 * Daniel Kash as Roger
 * Jody Racicot as Kells
 * Boyd Banks as Vic
 * Bob Balaban as Winton Chalmers (uncredited)
 * Christian Potenza as CSA Agent Joel
 * Scott Wickware as CSA Agent Wallace
 * Karen Glave as CSA Agent Randa
 * Scott Yaphe as CSA Agent Gabe
 * Jordan Madley as Holly
 * Paul Bates as Lundeen
 * Noah Danby as Bike Messenger
 * Colin Mochrie as Gallery Owner
 * Kim Roberts as ER Nurse
 * Fred Rutherford as Banning Party Bouncer
 * Craig Eldridge as Doran
 * Ron Gabriel as Frank Rollins
 * James Brown as Himself
 * Stacey DePass as a Woman in the Park
 * Chris Coppola as Bodyguard (uncredited)
 * Brad Allan as Bodyguard (uncredited)
 * Michael Bunin as Bodyguard (uncredited)
 * Paul Anderovski as Bodyguard (uncredited)
 * Byron McIntyre as Bodyguard (uncredited)
 * Jeanette Roxborough
 * John Stoneham, Jr.
 * Claire Hodgson (extra)