The Venture Bros. (season 5)

The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of The Venture Bros.

What Color is Your Cleansuit?

 * Dean: I've been listening to this stupid learning bed my whole life, and you know what? I haven't learned shit! I could tell you how many taste buds are on the human tongue, but I've never even French-kissed a girl!


 * (Doctor Venture addresses his new interns)
 * Dr. Venture: You have been chosen because you are the best students in the physics department at your university. You are the best of the best.
 * Offscreen Intern: I'm majoring in sports medicine!
 * Dr. Venture: Okay...you've been chosen because I accepted every application.

S.P.H.I.N.X Rising

 * (Gary - formerly Henchmen #21 - accidentally breaks up an O.S.I undercover operation.)
 * Gary: Okay...I wasn't prepared for this, but...freeze! This is SPHINX!
 * Brock: (from under his costume) Gary!? What are you doing, you idiot?
 * Shore Leave: (removing his mask) I swear I'm going to reach down your throat, rip out your heart and eat it!
 * Gary: Shore Leave? You're part of Long Division?
 * Shore Leave: Yeah, that's it. Brilliant conclusion...
 * Brock: We're undercover, moron. We were undercover...
 * Shore Leave: We've been wearing these smelly-ass sweat-soaked masks for a week for nothing.
 * Brock: Nice move, Chubs. The kid's dead. So's Tom.
 * Shore Leave: You killed an eight-year-old boy with the corpse of the only person who knew where Long Division's secret base was. Argh! That's so raven!
 * Brock: Gary, you better shoot me or somethin', 'cause I'm about to kill you.
 * Gary: I was being a good guy! And you left me S.P.H.I.N.X!  What did you expect me to do?
 * Shore Leave: Honestly, use the hot tub a couple of times. Not run around like a lone wolf fighting crime.  That WE are already fighting!
 * Brock: (taking a crossbow away from Gary) This my crossbow?
 * Gary: Aw, c'mon! It makes me feel like a wookie.
 * Brock: No. This is my crossbow.


 * ''(Sgt. Hatred sits in the bushes with a rifle. The Monarch's cocoon is in his sights when Gary approaches.)
 * Sgt. Hatred: Well, look who's coming to save me! It's the entire S.P.H.I.N.X. organization!
 * Gary: Hey, I'm recruiting now, Grandpa. So bite me.
 * Sgt. Hatred: Whip the little guy out. I'll go get Doc's microscope.
 * Gary: I have got a Shai-Hulud down there! There's a damn Paul-Muad'Dib riding this worm, my friend.


 * (Sgt Hatred and Gary have disabled The Monarch's flying cocoon.)
 * Gary: Okay, now he's in a panic. He's gonna have to do something, or he'll look like a total douche.  So here's where he makes the incredibly stupid decision to...
 * ''(Cut to the Monarch...)
 * Monarch: JETTISON THE LUNCH ROOM!
 * (The cocoon opens, dropping the contents of the lunch room on the Venture's lawn.)
 * Sgt. Hatred: What is that? Patio furniture?
 * Gary: That is the lunch room.
 * Sgt. Hatred: There's some metal casings out there. Could be explosives...
 * Gary: Chafing dishes. It's Wednesday, right?
 * Sgt. Hatred: Yeah.
 * Gary: Then they're filled with buffalo wings. And we should totally collect the ones without dirt and lawn chunks on them, 'cause they are awesome!  They're really tangy!

Spanakopita!

 * (Doctor Venture talks about the Spanakopita festival...)
 * Dr. Venture: Spanakopita!
 * Billy Quizboy: The Greek spinach pastry?
 * Dr. Venture: The Greek festival. Three days of fun in the sun on the most secluded island in Greece - Spanakos!  I first discovered it's sultry pleasures as a young boy.  You might say I had my first solo adventure there!
 * Pete White: Ew! Is that a euphemism?
 * Dr. Venture: Get your mind out of the gutter, White.


 * (Billy Quizboy is excited to join the Ventures on their trip to Greece. White, however, is reluctant.)
 * Pete White: "Fun in the sun?" "Sparkling seas?"  Do I have to spell it out for you people?  I am an albino!  This isn't a fashion choice!  My body literally hates the sun. On, like, a molecular level!


 * Pete White: Hey... he's got a Bubo!
 * Augustus Saint Cloud: (smugly) THE Bubo. Harryhausen is a friend..."


 * (Dr. Venture drinks, dances and laughs heartily as Billy Quizboy and Pete White look on.)
 * Pete White: You know, I've known Rusty for like twenty years, and I've never seen him like this.
 * Billy Quizboy: What, happy? I know!  It's kinda creepy...