The Waterboy

The Waterboy is a 1998 film starring Adam Sandler as Bobby Boucher, a socially challenged "water distribution engineer" for the South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dogs. His coach soon discovers Bobby's talents as a linebacker because of his anger issues with his overprotective mother Helen and how the football players walk all over him.
 * Directed by Frank Coraci. Written by Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler.

You Can Mess With Him, But Don't Mess With Water. Taglines

Dialogue

 * [Coach Klein is agape at Bobby's tackling ability]
 * Coach Klein: Bobby. Bobby! Can you do this for me? Every single game, can you do this?
 * Bobby Boucher: Coach, not only will I do it for ya, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for ya.


 * Coach Klein: Is there any sport that you do watch? You know, a physical sport? Boxing? Hockey?
 * Bobby Boucher: I-wrestling.
 * Coach Klein: Wrestling! Wrestling is good. Who's your favorite wrestler?
 * Bobby Boucher: Well, even though he was slightly discourteous to me recently, I'm gonna have to say Captain Insano.
 * Coach Klein: kay, okay, I want you to do to Casey...what Captain Insano does to the bad guy. Go.
 * [Bobby gouges Casey's eyes, players gasp]
 * Casey: He poked me in the eye!
 * Bobby Boucher: Captain Insano shows no mercy.


 * Coach Klein: [after drinking Bobby's water] This is good. This is much better than what I serve.
 * Bobby: [looks up to see a jug of polluted water in the corner] That is the water that you serve to your players?
 * Coach Klein: Uh huh.
 * Bobby: It is imperative that you allow me to be your waterboy.
 * Coach Klein: I can't hire you. I can't hire anybody. We're the poorest footb...
 * Bobby: You do not have to...have to pay me. I-I will do it for free. Just promise me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person.
 * Coach Klein: [pause] That's a deal.


 * Professor: Now, is there anyone here who can tell me why most alligators are abnormally aggressive?
 * Bobby: [Quietly, to Derek] I know the answer to this question.
 * Derek: Raise your hand.
 * Professor: Anybody? Anyone? [points to Bobby] Yessir, you sir.
 * Bobby: [standing up] Mama says that alligators are ornery ‘cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
 * [The entire class laughs as Bobby sits down next to an embarrassed Derek. Even the professor is laughing.]
 * Professor: Mama says alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush? Wow!
 * [The class briefly laughs again]
 * Professor: Is there anybody else? Yessir, you sir.
 * Student: Alligators are aggressive because of an enlargement - medulla oblongata. It's the sector of the brain that controls the aggressive behavior. [medulla oblongata is seen written on the board]
 * Professor: That is correct! The medulla oblongata!
 * Bobby: [starting to rise again] But mama say that-
 * Professor: The medulla oblongata... [Bobby sits back down] ...is where anger, jealosy, and aggression come from. [all 3 words are seen written on the board as the professor ticks them off] Now, is there anybody here who can tell me where happiness comes from?
 * [Bobby raises his hand again as Derek tries to push his hand down telling him no, but...too late. Professor has already seen it.]
 * Professor: Alright. Let's hear what mama has to say on the subject.
 * Bobby: [rising again] Mama say that happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feelin’ blue.
 * [Once again, everybody laughs]
 * Professor: Well folks...mama's wrong again!
 * [Class laughs again]
 * Bobby: No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. [Class goes "ooohhh..." on this, until...] Mama's right!
 * [The class breaks back into laughing. Bobby runs for the door.]
 * Bobby: You're all wrong! Mama's right! Mama's right!
 * Professor: [mockingly] Mama’s right! Somethin’ wrong with his medulla oblongata!
 * [Everyone continues laughing until an enraged Bobby knocks the professor to the ground, shocking everyone.]
 * [students crowd around Bobby trying to stop him from beating up the professor]
 * Bobby: Mr. Coach Klein said I could. Mr. Coach Klein said I could!


 * [Coach Beaulieu crashes the Mud Dogs' party]
 * Coach Red Beaulieu: I got somethin’ for you. This is his transcript from South Lafayette High School in Cherokee Plains, Louisiana. Now, the problem with that is there ain't no South Lafayette High School in Cherokee Plains, Louisiana. So obviously, this is a fake! [crowd gasps] However, this is not a fake. This is from the NCAA. [shows official letter] They don't think you ought to play football no more. So allow me to say this to you one more time: You're fired.
 * Townie: Oh, no! We suck again!


 * Bobby: Mama, I gotta read this book and six other books tonight or else I can't play foot...ball.
 * Helen Boucher: Fool’s ball? You playin' da fool’s ball behind my back?!
 * Bobby: The only reason I'm doin’ it, so I can go to school.
 * Helen Boucher: School?! You goin’ to school?! Ow! [fakes a headache as Steve brays]
 * Bobby: I'm sorry, Mama. I wanted to tell you.
 * Helen Boucher: You're off gallivantin’ with yo' fancy fool’s ball friends at school, while I'm sittin’ here all day with nobody to keep me company, except Steve? [gestures to donkey drinking out of toilet bowl] The chickens are comin’ home to roost, Bobby Boucher. You reap the fruit of yo' selfish ways. You gonna lose all your fancy fool’s ball games, and you're gonna fail your big exam, because school is-
 * Bobby: -the devil?! [Helen gasps and sits down looking up at him] Everything is the devil to you, Mama! Well, I like school, and I like football! And I'm gonna keep doin' ‘em both because they make me feel good! [runs out, turns back to Helen] And by the way, Mama. Alligators are ornery 'cause of their "medulla oblongata"! [runs out the door, then back in] And I like Vicki, and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too! [slams the door again]


 * [during half-time at the Bourbon Bowl, the team is in the locker room lamenting their game options]
 * Coach Klein: Anybody got an idea? [silence]
 * Derek Wallace: Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake? [Everybody chuckles]
 * Lyle Robideaux: Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands?[Everybody laughs]
 * Guy Grenouille: Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare assed? [Everybody laughs again]
 * Farmer Fran: Remember the time Bobby Boucher... [begins to mumble, everyone stares at him]
 * Bobby: [shows up in the locker room by surprise] Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl, do ya? [Everybody starts cheering and shouting]
 * Guy Grenouille: [to Bobby] Sorry for giving you so much shit this year. You’re the heart and soul of this team, Bobby.


 * [after Vicky revives an unconscious Bobby with a sip of her special water]
 * Dan Fouts: The waterboy just needed some water!
 * Brent Musburger: Wow, Dan, did you come up with that all by yourself?
 * Dan Fouts: Shut up, Brent!


 * [A newly married Bobby and Vicki are ready to drive off on his JUST MARRIED lawnmower, but a car suddenly stops in front of them and a seemingly retarded man appears]
 * Roberto: Bobby! It's me! Your daddy, Roberto!
 * Bobby: Daddy?
 * Roberto: I seen you on the ESPN, when they was talkin' about you bein' drafted by the NFL.
 * Bobby: I'm not goin’ to the NFL. I'm gonna stay in school and graduate.
 * Roberto: The hell with school, dopey! Take the money! You and me can be partners! Just like that Tiger Woods and his daddy. [as he sees Helen bolting towards him in rage] Uh-oh.
 * [Helen tackles Roberto out of revenge for abandoning both her and Bobby years ago. The crowd cheers to this]
 * Bobby: Nice hit, Mama!
 * Helen Boucher: Thanks, baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin' a man.

Main cast

 * Adam Sandler - Robert "Bobby" Boucher, Jr.
 * Kathy Bates - Helen "Mama" Boucher
 * Fairuza Balk - Vicki Vallencourt
 * Henry Winkler - Coach Klein
 * Jerry Reed - Coach Red Beaulieu
 * Larry Gilliard, Jr. - Derek Wallace
 * Blake Clark - Farmer Fran
 * Peter Dante - Gee Grenouille
 * Jonathan Loughran - Lyle Robideaux
 * Al Whiting - Casey Bugge
 * Clint Howard - Paco
 * Allen Covert - Walter
 * Rob Schneider - Townie
 * Matt Baylis - Student
 * Todd Holland - Greg Meaney
 * Kirk Lindell - Dumb Redneck 3
 * Kevin P. Farley - Jim Simonds
 * Frank Coraci - Robert "Roberto" Boucher, Sr.
 * Paul Wight - Captain Insano
 * Soon Hee Newbold - Mud Dog Cheerleader
 * Dan Fouts - Himself (ABC Sports commentator)
 * Brent Musburger - Himself (ABC Sports commentator)
 * Lynn Swann - Himself (ABC Sports commentator)
 * Chris Fowler - Himself (ESPN Sports commentator)
 * Lee Corso - Himself (ESPN Sports commentator)
 * Dan Patrick - Himself (ESPN Sports commentator)
 * Lawrence Taylor - Himself (LT's Louisiana Lightning Training Football Camp)
 * Bill Cowher - Himself (Pittsburgh Steelers coach)
 * Sam Hazlewood - Himself (Bourbon Bowl Crowd)
 * Wade Phillips - Referee (uncredited)
 * Jennifer Bini Taylor - Rita