Three's Company

Three's Company is an American sitcom that aired from March 15, 1977, to September 18, 1984, on ABC. The show revolves around a man who must pretend to be gay in order to move in with two female roommates. It is based on the British sitcom, Man About the House.

Man About the House [1.01]

 * Janet Wood: [to Jack] Let's get one thing straight first. This is your room. That is our room. One false move and we take you right to the vet.


 * Stanley Roper: Are you crazy, moving in with two girls? Not in my building, you don't!
 * Jack Tripper: Wait a minute, it'd be strictly platonic.
 * Stanley Roper: Well, I don't care what it is. [pause] What does that mean?
 * Helen Roper: Like you and me, Stanley.


 * Mr. Roper: Sorry to barge in on you again like this, but me and the wife are having a little disagreement about a certain matter of, uh... [coughs] sex.
 * Chrissy Snow: You wanna borrow a book?

And Mother Makes Four [1.02]

 * Chrissy: You can't sit here while we get undressed.
 * Jack: Oh, I'm sorry. Will the view be better if I stand? [hiccups]
 * Janet: [shooing him out] Go cure your hiccups.
 * Jack: Whatever happened to the sexual revolution?
 * Chrissy: Your side lost.


 * Jack: [about Chrissy] Everywhere you look, she's a girl.
 * Janet: What am I, a gorilla?
 * Jack: No, no. You're very... bright.
 * Janet: Oh. More like a chimp?

Roper's Niece [1.03]

 * Mrs. Roper: Stanley, will you stop that pacing and come to bed?
 * Mr. Roper: I'm not sleepy.
 * Mrs. Roper: That's the best time to come to bed.


 * Janet: You know, Chrissy, there was something about that Karen that I didn't like.
 * Chrissy: She's a very beautiful girl.
 * Janet: That was it.

No Children, No Dogs [1.04]

 * Chrissy: [after leaving the puppy at the Ropers] Well, she has a parakeet, and I figure anyone that loves parakeets must love dogs.
 * Jack: What about Mr. Roper?
 * Chrissy: Well I guess she loves him too, otherwise she would have left him a long time ago.


 * Janet: Now, Chrissy, what's making you walk in your sleep this time? Chrissy, what's bothering you? What... Chrissy! What?
 * Chrissy: Oh, it must be Mr. Rogers. His secretary's out sick and I'm substituting for her this week.
 * Janet: Oh, is he giving you a rough time?
 * Chrissy: Oh, I just can't keep up with him!
 * Janet: He dictates too fast?
 * Chrissy: It's not his dictation, it's his hands. The girls in the office call him Christopher Columbus.
 * Janet: What?
 * Chrissy: The explorer.

Jack the Giant Killer [1.05]

 * Chrissy: You know Jack did the right thing. Fighting is uncivilized. You know, if women ran the world, there'd be none of these stupid wars.
 * Mr. Roper: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death.


 * Janet: Hey, how come we get the Sunday paper delivered? We don't have a subscription.
 * Chrissy: Oh, I don't know, I heard it land on the front balcony this morning, so I went out and got it. Ah, you know, that paper boy was so thoughtful, he waited for me to bend over and pick it up before he rode away.

It's Only Money [1.06]

 * Chrissy: What are we gonna do about the rent? We can't go on avoiding Roper forever.
 * Janet: What about that boss of yours? The one that's always chasing you around. Think you can get an advance out of him?
 * Chrissy: Only if I let him catch me.


 * Mr. Roper: We all make mistakes.
 * Mrs. Roper: Don't put yourself down, Stanley; you do it better than anyone.

Ground Rules [1.07]

 * Janet: Oh, gee, Chrissy, I hope you don't have that same problem I had last week with Bob.
 * Chrissy: What problem?
 * Janet: Well, he kept looking for a parking place for his hand.
 * Chrissy: Ugh. When will a guy realize that when a girl says no she really means no?
 * Janet: Right.
 * Chrissy: Except when she means maybe.


 * Chrissy: [realizes Jack is flirting with Veronica] Oh, am I interrupting something?
 * Jack: I hope so!

Quotes
Chrissy: Just do what I do.

Jack: And what will you be doing?

Chrissy: Duh! The same thing you're doing, only first.

Mr. Roper: I came up to shampoo the rug.

Chrissy: Why? Does it have dandruff?

Cindy: If my man was cheating on me I'd break every bone in his body!

Jack: You'll do that on your wedding night.

Jack: Is something burning?

Janet: Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.

Chrissy: Too bad hot pants are not in style.

Mr. Roper: I bet this cot told some great stories.

Mrs. Roper: I wish ours could.

Mrs. Roper: I need a new stove

Mr. Roper: There's nothing wrong with the stove you have. Mrs. Roper: I better not break up the set.

Mr. Roper: What set?

Mrs. Roper: An old stove, and old husband, and they both take too long to heat up.

Jack: I have a surprise for you girls!

Chrissy: Oh, I love surprises. It's funny that you never suspect them!

Larry: I just wanted to know if you wanted to spend an evening with a beautiful, young lady.

Jack: No thanks, pal. I'd rather spend an evening with Janet.

Chrissy: I asked Jack to help me make the bed and we couldn't get the sheets on the mattress. I'd pull my corner and his would fall off and he'd pull his corner and mine would fall off. [as Mr. Roper enters] We made a complete shambles of the bedroom!

Mrs. Roper: Oh, that must have been funny.

Chrissy: No matter how hard we tried, Jack and I could not get it on! Then we started laughing and Janet walked in and she found the two of us in bed.

Mr. Roper: Hold it, hold it. Where is Jack now?

Chrissy: He's in there with Janet. He's trying to get it on with her. Jack is so clumsy about those things!

Mrs. Roper: So's Stanley.

Mr. Roper: Wait a minute! I want those two out of that bedroom right now!

Mrs. Roper: Why? You want them to drag the bed out on the front porch and make it there?

Mr. Roper: [shocked] WHAT?!

Jack: Hi, Mr. Roper. Hi, Mrs. Roper.

Mrs. Roper: Oh, hi, kids!

Jack: [to Janet] Don't ever ask me to try that again!

Mr. Roper: I knew Jack wouldn't change. You can't tinker with a tinkerbell.

(The Bake-Off, S3E19, 27 Feb 1979)

Primary characters

 * John Ritter as Jack Tripper (Seasons 1–8)
 * Joyce DeWitt as Janet Wood (Seasons 1–8)
 * Suzanne Sommers as Chrissy Snow (Seasons 1–5)
 * Jenilee Harrison as Cindy Snow (Seasons 5–6)
 * Priscilla Barnes as Terri Alden (Seasons 6–8)

Secondary characters

 * Richard Kline as Larry Dallas (Seasons 2–8)
 * Norman Fell as Stanley Roper (Seasons 1–3)
 * Audra Lindley as Helen Roper (Seasons 1–3)
 * Don Knotts as Ralph Furley (Seasons 4–8)
 * Ann Wedgeworth as Lana Shields (Season 4)

Recurring characters

 * Paul Ainsley as Jim (Seasons 1–5)
 * Brad Blaisdell as Mike (Seasons 5–8)
 * William Pierson as Dean Travers (Seasons 1–6)
 * Peter Mark Richman as Rev. Luther Snow (Seasons 3–4)
 * Anne Schedeen as Linda (Seasons 2–3)
 * Jordan Charney as Frank Angelino (Seasons 6–7)
 * Gino Conforti as Felipe Gómez (Seasons 6–7)