Too Much Coffee Man

Too Much Coffee Man is an American satirical comic strip, created by Shannon Wheeler.

Quotes

 * That which doesn’t kill you doesn't make you stronger, it makes you bitter and cynical.


 * Patience comes to those who wait.


 * Our pasts wax while our future wanes.


 * Life is short... and getting shorter by the minute.


 * The future; everyone is housed clothed and fed, because everyone is in jail.


 * Each day goes by so slow but my life goes by so fast.


 * If you can’t be happy naturally, be happy unnaturally.


 * The key to productivity is to rotate what you’re avoiding.


 * One’s expectation is the scriptwriter of one’s experience.


 * Imagine if we had failed. If we had failed, we wouldn’t be able to imagine it.


 * If one cup of makes me feel good, then two cups will make me feel better.


 * I'm wasting time worrying about wasting time.


 * Do they pick bad art to go in offices, or does an office make the art bad?


 * "No smoking is allowed". That's good, because people shouldn't have to smoke if they don't want to.


 * Somewhere between anticipation and nostalgia we should have been happy.


 * Everyone on this planet will be dead in 200 years. Old age.


 * Never, ever drive when you’re drunk. But if you do drive drunk be sure and wear a seat-belt.


 * The first rule of drinking is that your judgement is impaired so you can’t judge how much your judgement is impaired.


 * How can an animal with a brain the size of a walnut be more interesting than me?


 * Speech is free. Talk is cheap.


 * People are going to stop liking your work if they think it’s phony. You mean I need to be phony so that people will think I’m sincere?


 * It’s better to have loved and lost than to have loved and caught something.


 * Unrequited love is like hitting you head against a wall that isn’t there.


 * The more money I earn the more I need to spend.


 * I like funerals. You dress up, eat good food, and there is no pressure to enjoy yourself.


 * When I die I want an apple tree planted over my head. Then when people eat the fruit they’ll be eating me.


 * Performance art isn’t hit/miss. It’s miss/miss/miss/miss/hit/miss/miss.


 * Life is a balance of self-indulgence and self-preservation.


 * You should have waited to shave your head until after you got a new girlfriend.


 * my body .. abused. my mind .. unhinged / my reality .. maintained. I am happy.