Top Secret!

Top Secret! is a 1984 parody of WWII spy movies in which an American rock and roll singer becomes involved in a Resistance plot to rescue a scientist imprisoned in East Germany.
 * Directed by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker. Written by Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, and Martyn Burke.

Movie? What movie?taglines

Hillary Flammond

 * Things change, people change, hairstyles change, interest rates fluctuate.
 * For as long as a single man is forced to cower under the iron fist of oppression, as long as a child cries out in the night, or an actor can be elected president, we must continue the struggle.
 * [hugging her friends before getting on plane] Good-bye Chocolate Mousse, I'll never forget you. Good-bye Du Quois, take care of yourself. Good-bye Deja Vu, I'll always remember you. [to Nick] And I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow.

Others

 * Martin: Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm.
 * General Streck: [on the phone] What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger? [pause] Very well, let me know if there is any change in his condition. [Hangs up] He's dead.
 * Deja Vu: Don't take it so hard Nick, life is filled with it's little miseries, each of us in his own way must learn to deal with adversity in a mature and adult fashion. [Sneezes into hands, screams and jumps out a window]
 * Dr Paul Flammond: Go quickly. If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truck load of dead rats in a tampon factory.

Dialogue

 * Nick Rivers: [to the Waiter] I'm sorry, I don't speak German...
 * Hillary Flammond: I know a little German. [pause] He's sitting over there. [to the Waiter, in German] What do you recommend?
 * Waiter: [in German] I recommend the pork bellies marinated in diced pig entrails or the roast swine knuckles poached with flaming hog balls.
 * Nick Rivers: Anything's fine.


 * Nick Rivers: Hillary. That's an unusual name.
 * Hillary Flammond: It's a German name. It means 'she whose bosoms defy gravity'.
 * Nick Rivers: I'm pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.
 * Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?
 * Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.


 * Hillary Flammond: My uncle was born in America.
 * Nick Rivers: Oh, really?
 * Hillary Flammond: But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency.


 * Nick Rivers: Are you in some kind of trouble with the police?
 * Hillary Flammond: Some things are much better left unsaid.
 * Nick Rivers: Like what?
 * Hillary Flammond: Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over...
 * Nick Rivers: Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.


 * Nick Rivers: Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.
 * Hillary Flammond: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.
 * [Long pause. Both look at camera]


 * Hillary Flammond: Who do you favor in the Virginia Slims tournament?
 * Blindman: In women's tennis, I always root against the heterosexual.


 * Agent Cedric: Wait. You dropped your phony dog poo.
 * Blindman: What phony dog poo?


 * [Nick and Hillary arrive at the Potato Farm. A Shetland pony is coughing]
 * Nick Rivers: What's wrong with him?
 * Wagon Driver: Oh, he caught a cold last week and he's just a little hoarse.


 * Nick: Ist der Tochter achtzehn bitten?
 * Martin: What's that mean?
 * Nick: Is your daughter eighteen?
 * Martin: What the hell did you say to him?
 * Nick Rivers: Nothing, I just told him I'd put his name on the Montgomery Ward mailing list.
 * Nick Rivers: Nothing, I just told him I'd put his name on the Montgomery Ward mailing list.

Taglines

 * Movie? What movie?
 * Shhh!
 * A Film.
 * Don't tell anyone.
 * From the makers of the original "Airplane!" (not the Wright brothers)

Cast

 * Val Kilmer - Nick Rivers
 * Lucy Gutteridge - Hillary Flammond
 * Christopher Villiers - Nigel "The Torch", Resistance Leader
 * Jeremy Kemp - General Streck
 * Omar Sharif - Agent Cedric
 * Peter Cushing - Bookstore Proprietor
 * Michael Gough - Dr. Paul Flammond
 * Warren Clarke - Colonel von Horst
 * Harry Ditson - Du Quois, Resistance Member
 * Jim Carter - Déjà Vu, Resistance Member
 * Eddie Tagoe - Chocolate Mousse, Resistance Member
 * John Sharp - Maitre'D
 * Ian McNeice - Blind Souvenir Vendor
 * Gertan Klauber - The Mayor