Total Drama Island


 * Seasons: 1: Island 2: Action 3: World Tour 4: Revenge of the Island 5: All-Stars and Pahkitew Island | 6: Island (2023) | Main | Spin-offs: The Ridonculous Race / DramaRama

 is the first season of Total Drama.

Not So Happy Campers - Part 1 [1.01]

 * [at the begining]
 * Chris: [first lines] Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season 1 of the hottest new reality show on television, right now! [moves to Dock of Shame] Here's the deal, 22 campers have signed up to spend 8 weeks right here at this crumply old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every 3 days, 1 team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Drama Island, for good! [moves to campfire pit] Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all, but one camper will receive... a marshmallow. [takes a bite of one marshmallow] In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it: they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle... Black flies... [flies buzzing] Grizzly bears, [grizzly bear roars] Disgusting ass camp food!
 * Grub on Plate: Hey now.
 * Chris: And, each other! Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of camera situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on... TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND!


 * [The 22 campers gathered round for a group picture.]
 * Chris: Okay. 1, 2, thr- Oop! Okay, forgot the lens cap! Okay, hold that pose... 1...t- Oh, wait. Card's full! Hang on...
 * LeShawna: C'mon, man. My face is startin' to freeze!
 * Chris: Got it Okay!, everyone say 'Wawanakwa!'
 * Campers: Wawanakwa! [the dock gave way underneath them] Aaah!


 * Chris: This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home! for the next 8 weeks the campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. you big, the camper who manages to say on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000.


 * Chris: Here's the deal, we're gonna split you into two teams, if I call your name out, go stand over there. Gwen… Trent... Heather… Cody… Lindsay… Beth… Owen… Katie… Leshawna… Justin… and Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as… The Screaming Gophers!
 * Owen: Yeah! I'm a gopher! Whoo!
 * Katie: Wait. What about Sadie?
 * Chris: The rest of you, over here. Geoff… Bridgette… DJ… Tyler… Sadie… Izzy… Courtney… Ezekiel… Duncan… Eva… and Harold. Move, move, move!
 * Sadie: But Katie’s a gopher! I have to be a gopher!
 * Courtney: Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay.
 * Sadie: This is so unfair! I'll miss you, Katie!
 * Katie: I'll miss you too!
 * Chris: You guys will officially be known as… The Killer Bass!


 * Gwen: [during her first confessional] Um, okay. So far this sucks.
 * Lindsay: [during her first confessional] I don't get it. Where's the camera guy?
 * Owen: [during his first confessional] Hey, everyone, check this out. I have something very important to say… [farts and chuckles]


 * Heather: Bunk beds? Isn't this a little…summer camp?
 * Gwen: That's the idea.
 * Heather: [scoffs] Shut up, gothic.

Not So Happy Campers - Part 2 [1.02]

 * Leshawna: [after Heather refuses to jump] Oh, you're doing it!
 * Heather: Says who?!
 * Leshawna: Says me! I'm not losing this challenge cause you got your hair did, you spoiled little daddy's girl!
 * Heather: Back off, ghetto-glamor, too-tight-pants-wearing, rap-star wannabe!
 * Leshawna: Mall-shopping, ponytail-wearing, teen girl-reading, peeking in high school prom queen!
 * Heather: Well, at least I'm popular.
 * [Gwen looks shocked, Noah looks amused, Cody looks scared, Justin pulls out his mirror and admires himself]
 * Leshawna: You're jumping!
 * Heather: Make me! [Leshawna grabs Heather and throws her down] AAAAAAAAAH! [lands in the safe zone] Leshawna, you are so dead!
 * Leshawna: Hey! I threw you into the safe zone, didn't I? [to herself] Now I just hope I can hit it, too. [jumps] AAAAAAAAAH! [lands in the safe zone, right next to Heather]


 * Tyler: [sets the crate down] I gotta take a whizz. [walks off into the bushes for quick pee break]
 * Eva: Hurry up. We're already behind.
 * Katie: Oh, I have to go too.
 * Sadie: You do? Oh, my gosh, me too.


 * Trent: Hey! What's up, guys?
 * LeShawna: Hey! Are you missing a couple of white girls?
 * [As it turns out, Katie and Sadie we're doing their business in the lake, to relieve themselves after they sat on poison ivy]
 * Sadie: Oops!
 * Courtney: They're getting a drink.
 * Harold: Yeah! If they drink with their butts.
 * Ezekiel: [laughs at Harold’s jokes] That’s funny!
 * LeShawna: [shocked to witness Courtney's swollen eye] Ooh. What happened to your eye, girl?
 * Courtney: Nothing! Just an allergy!
 * Ezekiel: Think it's getting worse!
 * Courtney: Shut up/Shut it! We don't want them to know that.


 * Ezekiel: My dad instructed me to look after the girls if they needed help.


 * [1st elimination of the series; Ezekiel got eliminated because his sexist comments against women angered the female members of the Killer Bass]
 * Chris: [after Ezekiel got eliminated] Can't say I'm shocked. I saw you picking your nose, dude. Not cool. Dock of shame is that way, bro. The rest of you, enjoy your marshmallows. You're all safe for tonight.

The Big Sleep [1.03]

 * [Chris blows the airhorn which wakes everybody up.]
 * LeShawna: Oww! Jeez, It’s 7 in the morning! Do I look like a farmer to you?!


 * Duncan: [mischievously puts Harold's hand into a mug of water, causing him to pee his pants] Oh, gross it worked! Dude peed his pants!


 * [Eva furiously tears apart the Killer Bass' cabin as she searches for her MP3 player]
 * Eva: [growling in rage] Where is my MP3 player?! One of you must have stolen it I need my music! No one is going anywhere until I get my MP3 player back!
 * Courtney: OK, whoever took it better give it up now before she destroys this camp.
 * Heather: Hey, guys. Wow, this place is a real mess.
 * Courtney: Someone stole Eva's MP3 player.
 * Heather: You don't mean this, do you? I was wondering who it belong to. I found it by the campfire pit, you must have dropped it.
 * Eva: Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you!
 * Heather: Sure thing.


 * [Eva got eliminated because she had her temper after Heather stole her MP3 Player, and believed that somebody on her team had taken it]
 * Eva: [sarcastically] Nice, really nice. Who needs this stupid TV show anyway?! [kicks Chris in the knee]
 * Chris: [clutching his leg] OW! Have a good night sleep tonight. You're all safe.

Dodgebrawl [1.04]

 * Duncan: Wake me up, and it"ll be the last thing you do. [goes back to sleep]
 * Courtney: [rolls her eyes; annoyed to Harold] This is all your fault you know, you and your snoring face!
 * Harold: It's called a medical condition, GOSH!


 * Heather: Okay, we can't get lazy. The Killer Bass are gonna be trying extra hard to catch up. Who wants to sit the first one out with Sleeping Beauty?
 * Noah: All right, I'll volunteer. Now let's see you all keeners get on out there and dodge.
 * Heather: Bring it on, motherfuckers. Otherwise, winning three in a row just won't be as satisfying.
 * Tyler: Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table and then we're gonna eat it!
 * Chris: Both teams ready? Best of five games wins. Now, let's dodge some balls! [laughter] ballSACKS!


 * Harold: Time to unleash my wicked skills.
 * Leshawna: Yeah? Then bring it, string bean! Let's see what you got!


 * Chris: [after Cody throws a dodgeball behind DJ like a boomerang; surprised] That is one tough ball to dodge!


 * Harold: We can do this! We just have to believe in ourselves!
 * Courtney: Oh, I believe. I believe you stink/suck!
 * Tyler: Yeah. You throw like a girl.
 * [Geoff laughs]
 * Courtney: You should talk.
 * Tyler: It was a warm-up throw. Look, I can dominate this game. Just give all the balls to me.
 * Courtney: Fine, just try to aim for the other side, okay?


 * Chris: [after Owen hardly throws the ball at Geoff, hitting him in the face] Owww! That one's worth an instant replay. [footage plays Geoff getting hit in the face repeatedly] Forward. Okay, rewind. Forward. Rewind. Forward. Rewind, forward. [laughs] Rewind. And pause. Ho-ho. That's gonna leave a mark.
 * Leshawna: Ooh! He dropped it like it was hot!


 * Courtney: Okay, this is really bad. One more game, and we lose the whole challenge… again! We can't let that happen, people. We need someone strong, someone mean, someone who will crush those lamo/stupid gophers into the dirt!
 * [The Bass looks down at Duncan, still asleep]
 * DJ: [believing it's a bad idea] Uh-uh. If we wake him up, he'll kill us!
 * Courtney: He won't kill us, guys, he wants to win too.
 * Harold: Courtney's right, we need Duncan's fierceness to win this.
 * Courtney: That's the spirit, Harold. Now go wake him up.
 * Harold: Why me?
 * Courtney: Because, other than Tyler/trent, you're the worst at dodgeball, and if he does kill you, you're the only we can afford to lose.
 * Harold: No way, I'm not doing it.
 * Courtney: Well, who's gonna wake him up?


 * Duncan: [wakes up, grunts, and snaps the stick in half] You better have a really good reason for sticking this up my nose!
 * Courtney: Look. We are down two-nothing. I can appreciate that you need a little nap time. But we need your help.
 * Duncan: Oh, and why should I help you, darling?
 * Courtney: Because I can personally guarantee you that if we lose this game, you'll be the one going the fuck home… Darling.
 * Duncan: [sighs] Fine, I'll play. On one condition, you do what I say when I say it. Okay, here's the strategy I picked up during my first visit to juvie, it's called "Rush the New Guy."

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 * Courtney: Where were you?
 * Tyler: Nowhere!
 * Courtney: You were with that blonde Gopher girl, weren't you?
 * Tyler: No! Maybe. So?
 * Courtney: So she could've been getting you to spill all of our weaknesses to her!

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 * Chris: The Killer Bass win!
 * [The Killer Bass cheer victoriously over their first win]
 * Owen: [horrified shock] It's impossible! [falls on his knees, crying in defeat] WHYYYY?!
 * Duncan: Nice dodge, skater nerd.
 * Chris: Gophers, what happened?
 * Noah: What can I say? Weak effort. [the other gophers glare annoyingly at him]
 * Gwen: [irritated] Oh, shut it/up, Noah. [walks off]
 * Heather: You know, for once, I agree with her. [walks off as well]
 * [The female gophers, including Cody, leave]
 * Noah: Touchy. What? [Owen, Justin, and Trent glare at him] I'll tell you, the team spirit is severely lacking lately.

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 * [Noah got eliminated because he refused to participate in the dodgeball game, and ticked off his teammates by being overly sarcastic]
 * Chris: Campers, you've already placed your votes and made your decision. One of you will be going home, and you can't come back…ever. When you hear me call out your name, come pick up a marshmallow. Owen. Gwen, Cody. Trent. Heather. Beth. Justin. Leshawna. Izzy. [the nine gophers claim their marshmallows as Lindsay and Noah are on the bottom two] The final marshmallow goes to… Lindsay.
 * Lindsay: Woo-hoo! Yeah!
 * Noah: [shocked after he got voted off] What, are you kidding me?! [Lindsay receives the final marshmallow] Aright, see if I care. Good luck, because you just voted out the only one with brains on this team. [the gophers start pelting him with marshmallows as payback]
 * Leshawna: You need to learn a little thing called "respect", turkey!
 * [The other gophers cheer]
 * Noah: Whatever. I'm outta here. [leaves to the Dock of Shame]

Not Quite Famous [1.05]

 * Heather: [blows whistle] Okay, I'm the team captain, so here's how it's going to work.
 * Gwen: Wait. Who said you were team captain?
 * Lindsay: She did, just now.
 * Heather: Lindsay, Beth and I took a vote, and I won.
 * Gwen: Threatening them to vote for you isn't exactly democratic.

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 * Chris: [unimpressed by Tyler's yo-yo talent] Man, that is weak.

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 * Lindsay: [yelling at Bridgette after she lands on Tyler's arms] Hey, puke on your own boyfriend!
 * Heather: On your own what, Lindsay?
 * Lindsay: I didn't say boyfriend!

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 * Heather: Originally, I was going to dance for you, but instead I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration. [Pulls out Gwen's diary, which she stole]
 * Gwen: She wouldn't! [winces in fear]
 * Heather: With words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy. [clears throat] "Okay. So, I'm trying to ignore him, but he's just so cute. If they had custom-ordered a guy to be a distraction for me here, it would have been McHottie. [Lindsay gasps; Cody points to himself, smiles, and nods, believing the words are about him]  We just totally connect. He's pretty much the only person I can relate to here and I know it's a cliche, but I love guys who play guitar." [Gwen watches in horror as her diary is being read to the whole world]
 * Cody: Wait... I don't play guitar. [Camera pans over to a guitar-holding Trent, who Cody makes eye contact with in a confused manner]
 * [Gwen nervously scooches to the right and runs off]
 * Heather: [closes Gwen's diary] Thank you.
 * Courtney: That was so mean.
 * Bridgette: Seriously.

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 * [Heather convinced her alliance, Owen and Izzy to vote Justin off, as opposed to her]
 * Chris: [after Justin got eliminated] Time to catch the boat of losers, bruh.
 * Heather: Later bruh.

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 * [To get back at Heather for reading her diary in revenge, Gwen dumps Harold's red ant farm into her bed]
 * Gwen: [confessional] If that evil little cow thinks she is getting away with this, she has another thing coming. [confessional ends, Gwen walks up to the Bass' cabin, knocks on the boy's side and Harold answers] Did you say you brought a red ant farm with you?
 * Harold: Yes.
 * [Moments later, Heather runs out of the cabin, screaming with red ants crawling all over her and she trips and falls on the ground]
 * Gwen: [smiling with satisfaction] Sweet dreams, everyone. [chuckles]

The Sucky Outdoors [1.06]

 * Katie: Well, at least I know how do to drive, you… you have-to-walk girl. Now who’s smarter?
 * Sadie: Trip to the beach last year, ring a bell?
 * Katie: Oh, I can't believe you're bringing that up. I did have a totally fetch bikini on that day, though. Ha.
 * Sadie: You drove my mom's car into a snack shack!
 * Katie: It was totally in my blind spot. Whatever. If it wasn't for me, you'd be riding the bus to the mall.
 * [Two squirrels watch the girls argue on a tree branch]
 * Sadie: Well, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be able to find your way to the mall.
 * Katie: Oh, I know my way to the mall.
 * Sadie: You leaned on me. [purple squirrel mimics her] If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be on this show.
 * Katie: [gasps; blue squirrel mimics her] You're just saying that because I'm prettier than you are.
 * [The two squirrels start laughing]
 * Sadie: [gasps] I knew you thought that!
 * Katie: It's true. Everybody thinks so.

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 * [Duncan tells the Bass team a scary hook story]
 * Duncan: One night, a lot like this one… [later…] So suddenly… they-they heard this tap-tap-tapping on the side of the car. The girl started to freak out, and by this time, even the guy was getting a bit scared. So he turned the car on, and he stepped on it. When they got back to the girl's house, she opened the door and screamed, because there, hanging from the door handle… was the bloody hook! They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really. Maybe even right… [takes out a hook on his right hand] HERE! [the Bass screams in terror; cackles evilly]
 * Courtney: [angrily] Duncan! That was so not funny!
 * Duncan: Oh, yes it was! I just wish it was all on camera! Uh, oh, wait, it is!
 * Courtney: You are so vile. Do your parents even like you?
 * Duncan: I don't know, Jumpy McChicken. I haven't asked them lately.

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 * Courtney: [confessional] Okay, I just wanna say for the record, that I was totally asleep and therefore, unconscious at the time of the "alleged cuddling" with said Neanderthal. So essentially, it's like it never happened.

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 * Chris: All right, Killer Bass. One of your fishy butts is going home. Gophers, you're going on an all-expense paid trip to… the Tuck Shop!
 * [The Screaming Gophers cheer and run off after winning as the Killer Bass gasp in shock and glare angrily at Katie and Sadie, for showing up late]

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 * [Katie got eliminated after she and Sadie had gotten lost and showed up too late at camp to save their team]
 * Sadie: No! Why Katie? Why her?!
 * Katie: It's so unfair!
 * Sadie: I so can't do this. I've never been anywhere without Kaite. We have to be together or I'll totally die!
 * Katie: Sadie, listen to me. You can do this. You are strong, and beautiful, and like, maybe even smarter than me, and plus, you're like the funnest girl I know. You have to do it for both of us.
 * [At the Dock of Shame, the girls hold hands for one last time as the Boat of Losers takes Katie away]
 * Sadie: I miss you already!
 * Katie: [sobs] I miss you more!
 * Sadie: No, I miss you more!
 * Katie: No way, I totally miss you more!
 * Sadie: I miss you infinitely more! BYE!

Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island

 * Chris: I introduce the winner of Total Drama Island as the youngest of 3 brothers, Owen.

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 * Katie: Justin’s taking a long time.
 * Sadie: Let’s play Magic Square.
 * Katie: Oh, okay! Who will Katie hook up with tonight? Justin! Yay!
 * Sadie: Justin? But he has a crush on me!
 * Katie: Says who?
 * Sadie: Says the magic square! Watch! Who is Justin crushing on? Sadie!
 * Katie: [gasps] You fully stole him from me!
 * Sadie: Um, earth to Katie. I can’t steal someone who isn’t yours!
 * Katie: Um, earth to traitor. Just because Billy Carlisle liked me better in fourth grade?
 * Sadie: He did not like you better! You gave him your PB&J sandwich so he’d ask you to the dance! If I had PB&J that day or even just a P, he’d have taken me!
 * Katie: [gasps] That is it! We are so done as friends! [storms off]
 * Sadie: I don’t care because I’m SO much more done than you are! [storms off as well]

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 * Eva: Watch it! It's a trap!
 * Noah: Justin. The anti-me. So we meet again.
 * Izzy: Whatever you guys do, don't look him in the eyes! He has powers.
 * Justin: Give me the case.
 * Izzy: Back off, really hot guy!
 * Justin: I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. (Takes off his shirt)

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 * Harold: Me and Leshawna can move together to my mom's basement when we turn thirty.

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 * Izzy: [confessional] I scared my grandpa so badly that he wet his pants one time.

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 * Chris: So, you lost the case! Way to go! I didn't wanna have to do this! But, since none of the 14 of you officially won, you officially tie!

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 * [Cody, Tyler, Noah, Ezekiel, Courtney, Katie, Sadie and Eva arrived on the docks very late]
 * Chris: As for the rest of you, your treasure hunt ends here! Along with all your hopes of ever winning any money off of being on this show. The good news though, you'll be watching all the action of season 2 from the sidelines!
 * Courtney: Wait a minute! I wanna be on season 2!
 * Chris: [To Courtney] Tut-tut-tut-tut. Fine print.
 * Courtney: [Confessional, furious about not qualifying for season 2] Oh, That is it! If they thought they knew they were in trouble before, they're in huge trouble now!

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 * Chris: In exactly 2 days, you will all report to a brand new location for a whole new challenge and the last one standing will receive $1,000,000! So don't forget to tune in to Total Drama Action!

Ezekiel

 * Ezekiel: Is it on? Okay. Watch this guys! I'm gonna bag me a big old moose! [blows a kazoo] Mom? Mom?! Oh shoot! I'm sorry!

Eva

 * Eva: 57, 58, 59, 60. You see that? I'm the only girl in school who can do more than 10 pull-ups. So whatever you can throw at me I can handle it. Hey! You're dead! Do you hear me?! So, if you want a strong competitor who gets along with everyone pick me. You can edit this right? Awesome. Thanks.

Noah

 * Noah: Hey I'm Noah. You may not know me but you will because I'm going places. See? I got a plan.
 * Joey: Hey Noah! Way to go on winning class president! You deserve it, man!
 * Noah: Thanks, Joey. See? I got smarts and that's what wins in the end. Trust me. I got this one in the bag.

Justin

 * Voice: Justin. Justin. Justin.

Tyler

 * Tyler: What you need on this show is a real athlete, and I'm your man! Yeah, baby! Catch this action!

Izzy's First Audition

 * Izzy: Okay, so there are some things you should know about me. Um, I'm really loyal, and I'm like so smart you have no idea. Maybe even a genius. And the thing I'm best at is, I'm awesome at twirling fire batons! Okay you ready? Okay!
 * [Izzy twirls the fire baton until she throws it up to the ceiling, the fire sprinklers came on]
 * Izzy: Oops! Okay, should not do that indoors. Sorry mom!

Cody

 * Cody: (rapping) Girl, you know it's true, you make me feel so blue! When you don't come around, I was lost and now I'm found! Come on-
 * Cody's Dad: [calling offscreen] Cody! What did I tell you about making all that noise?!
 * Cody: [calling] Sorry, Dad! [to the camera] He just doesn't get it. I'm gonna be a superstar one day. Even bigger-

Beth

 * Beth: Skater boys are cool, yeah, yeah. Wanna be with you, yeah, yeah. Can you hear? Call me! Cause I'll be there for you, call me! For, uh, you, yeah. And when you call me-
 * Beth's Dad: Beth? Beth?! What's all the racket up there?!
 * Beth: Nothing! One day, I'm gonna be a star. You'll see. They'll all see.

Courtney

 * Courtney: Vote for Courtney. Hi. Vote for Courtney. Oh, hi. So as you know I'm running for student council president. And if I win, I'll be the youngest one ever at this school. If you pick me for your new show, I promise I'll conduct myself with integrity, honor, and I'll get two new pop machines for the cafeteria. Oh. I just mixed up the two speeches. Can we start over? What do you mean no?
 * Tom: I mean I've got to get to gym class.
 * Courtney: You promised you take my audition for Total Drama Island, Tom. Look. Just give me the camera. Give it to me. Oh. You are so not going to be my secretary if I win. Vote for Courtney.