Total Drama World Tour


 * Seasons: 1: Island 2: Action 3: World Tour 4: Revenge of the Island 5: All-Stars and Pahkitew Island | 6: Island (2023) | Main | Spin-offs: The Ridonculous Race / DramaRama

Total Drama World Tour is the third season of Total Drama.

Part 1

 * [Chris introduces 2 new contestants Alejandro and Sierra]
 * Chris: And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we're adding two new competitors! He's an honor roll student with a diplomat for a dad and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species. Alejandro! [Spanish music plays as Alejandro steps out of the bus and removes his sunglasses]
 * Alejandro: Perhaps I could assist. [helps Bridgette and Izzy up]
 * Izzy:  Wow-ie!
 * Bridgette: I-I have a boyfriend!
 * Alejandro: And amigos, please, allow me. [offers to help up Tyler and Ezekiel]
 * Ezekiel: Wow, eh.
 * Tyler: I like girls!
 * Chris: And she's a sugar addicted super fan with 16 Total Drama blogs! Sierra! [Sierra comes running out of the bus]
 * Sierra: Oh my gosh, I love you guys! This is the greatest day of my life! [starts hyperventilating] Anyone got a paper bag I can breathe into? Oh my gosh, Cody! I've always dreamt of this moment, only you weren't wearing a shirt.


 * LeShawna: Is there a ladies room?
 * Chris: Just through there!
 * LeShawna: Good! Cuz, I gotta make a deposit! [confessional] There’s a Camera in the potty?! Again?! Ugh?! Can’t a sister get a little privacy on this program?


 * Chris: If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts...
 * Ezekiel: I got a peanut allergy, yo... or more like a sensitivity.
 * Chris: ...you'll be forced to take the Drop of Shame.
 * Ezekiel: Okay, I just don't like--
 * Chris: Kinda like this! [he throws him out of the plane to the point when he was declared eliminated]
 * Ezekiel: HEY!!! [laughs] Good one, eh! Now, slow down and let my bling back in!
 * Chris: All eliminations are final, bro!


 * [The musical bell chimes and Chris appears wearing a tuxedo]
 * Chris: Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time! So, let's hear it.
 * Courtney: But, what are we supposed to sing?
 * Chris: You have to make them up as you go. Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now, would it.


 * Chris: Man, that's satisfying! All right, Pyramid Over-Under means you choose how you'll get to the finish line. Either over or under the pyramid. Got it? Ready, set...
 * Ezekiel: Wait up, yo! You guys, wait up! I told you I wasn't gonna lose this time, eh!
 * Chris: Didn't we leave you in like, Halifax or Whitehorse or whatever?
 * Ezekiel: It's called landing gear, homie. I climbed it and hid with the cargo.
 * Chris: Impressive. But you're still out.
 * Ezekiel: No way! I'm in it to win it! Word!
 * Chris: Hey, it's your funeral. Set... go!


 * Sierra: I'm a 4th generation basket weaver hinting that my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents are also basket-weavers.


 * Chris: Oh Kids! [The musical bell chimes] Recognize that sound? Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!
 * Duncan: You said 1 song per episode!
 * Chris: Yeah! And this is a reprise, not a new song. So, if you don't sing, you're out! So, let's hear it!
 * Duncan: [angrily] You know what? No. [climbs down with Courtney and Gwen in tow] NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 3 HOURS OF THESE TWO SQUAWKING ON THIS STUPID PYRAMID IN THIS STUPID HEAT, AND YOU WANT ME TO SING?! FORGET IT!
 * Chris: Dude, you have a contract.
 * Duncan: EAT IT, MCLEAN! [Gets out his knife and cuts the rope] If you need me, I'll be in the plane waiting for a ride home, 'cause I'm out. Done.  I QUIT! [he angrily returns to the plane]
 * [Courtney and Gwen gasps]
 * Cody: Hi. Looks like we're teammates.


 * Chris: Okay, teams, talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name, you have three minutes, while I enjoy this ice cream cone.
 * Bridgette, DJ, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna and Lindsay: Team Victory! [a trophy cup appears]
 * Courtney, Gwen, Heather and Izzy: Team Amazon!
 * [Courtney's leg hits Cody in the groin, the pink logo appears]
 * [Alejandro, Noah, Owen, Sierra and Tyler have difficulties naming their team]
 * Sierra: Got it, Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot.
 * Alejandro, Noah, Owen and Tyler: What?
 * [a blue logo with Chris smiling appears.]
 * Chris: All right, best team name ever, and here are your rewards, Team Amazon, you win a camel. [a camel appears with the goat. The Amazons, except Izzy is not happy with the reward, Izzy gasps and claps] Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Really Hot...
 * Alejandro: I think there were only four reallys.
 * Chris: You win a goat. [a goat knocks Tyler] And Team Victory, [holds a stick] here you go.
 * LeShawna: So the guys who come in last get a camel and we get a stick?

Part 2

 * [Duncan is sitting in the winner's lounge humming in "Come Fly With Us"]
 * Chris: [after bursting in suddenly] Were you just-?
 * Duncan: No.
 * Chris: Because it sounded like you were...
 * Duncan: But I wasn't, and I never will!
 * [Chris points at his own eyes with 2 fingers, then points at Duncan, before walking away]


 * Sierra: Duncan and Courtney fans will be devastated, but I think you and Owen have a shot at becoming fav Total Drama Couple on my fan site.
 * Izzy: Owen's magic. When he breathes, his nose whistles the national anthem! [Owen’s nose does just that]
 * Sierra: Super cute! But he's no Cody. Did you know that Cody slept with a stuffed Emu named Jerry until he was... well okay, he still does.
 * Noah: And you know this how?
 * Sierra: I called his aunt once. I pretended I was a telemarketer!
 * Noah: Ooooh. Stalker-licious.


 * Leshawna: We won last time! But they get a camel, they get a goat, and we get a stick?!


 * Sierra: [confessional] Look, I'm the number 1 Total Drama super fan. It says so right in my blog. But Alejandro? He's never even been on TV before. I've never seen him in QT Monthly. I do not know what these girls see in him. They're loco.
 * Bridgette: [confessional] Geoff. Okay, I know maybe it looks bad, but I want you to know that I was not swooning over Alejandro. It was just the heat. I just wanna run my fingers through your thick, dark... blond! Blond hair!


 * [after DJ whacked a bird with the stick]
 * DJ: [in confessional] First, I accidentally destroyed a mummified dog, and now I insult a bird? Man, I love animals! This wouldn't happen back home.


 * Alejandro: Sierra! Owen! Up! Up!
 * [the goat has to carry everyone from Team Chris, it zooms out to Noah and Tyler are sitting on the goat, with Sierra on Noah's shoulders and Owen on top of Tyler's]
 * Owen: [while sitting on Tyler's shoulders] This is so cool, Ale-handout, or Ale-kazam, or I'm just gonna call you Al, okay? Whoo! Go Al!
 * [Alejandro ignores him as he does not respond]
 * Noah: Yeah, this is gonna work.
 * Alejandro: Have faith, Noah. Believe, in us. [jumps on top of Sierra and Owen]
 * Tyler: [happily] Whoa! We're perfectly balanced!
 * Noah: Okay, color me impress.
 * Alejandro: [in cockpit confessional] It's basic weight distribution. Anyone with a degree in engineering or an IQ of 163 or higher could figure it out. [to Chef Hatchet] By the way, you're doing a magnificent job flying this plane.
 * Chef: Who, me? Nah.
 * Alejandro: Now, now. Don't blush, it's true.


 * [During the attack of the scarab beetles, the musical bell chimed]
 * Chris: Ooh. Time for a song! Think of it as a mini challenge. Music can soothe the mate-seeking scarabs. So, make up a good song and maybe they won't kill you. Or don't and get disqualified like Duncan.
 * Izzy: Yay!
 * All: Aww!


 * Ezekiel: Yo. We're so far behind, we can't even see the others anymore, eh.
 * Bridgette: Didn't we pass that cactus like ten minutes ago?
 * Lindsay: Oh Yeah! Hey, pointy!
 * LeShawna: We've been running in circles!


 * Chris: Welcome to the 3rd challenge!
 * Owen: What?! Speak up! [Chris says gibberish on the other side of the river] Uh, did you guys get any of that?
 * Chris: [through megaphone] I said, welcome to the 3rd and final Egyptian challenge, basket cases!
 * Owen: Ah!
 * Chris: [through megaphone] Each team must weave a basket of river reeds. Your basket has to be big enough to hold your whole team, including your reward from the last challenge. A.K.A. Goatface over there.
 * Tyler: Hey!
 * Alejandro: I believe he meant the goat.
 * Tyler: Oh. Cool. Heh. Thanks.
 * Chris: [through megaphone] Then you're gonna use the baskets to get away with those oars to row yourselves across the finish line. 1st team across flies 1st class to our next destination!
 * Sierra: This is perfect!
 * Noah: What the fact that were hosed?
 * Sierra: [turns around and holds Noah's shoulders] I'm a 4th generation basket weaver!
 * Owen: [while feeding the goat] Yeah!
 * Sierra: We're gonna need a lot of weeds. [runs off and picks up weeds]


 * Leshawna: Lost in Egypt. Ain't that a kick in the pants?
 * Harold: From first place to last. Gosh! [gasps] It's a divining rod!
 * Lindsay: I don't wanna be struck by lightning!
 * Leshawna: A divining rod helps you find water.
 * DJ: Chris said each reward had its advantages. That stick can lead us straight to the Nile!
 * [Lindsay and Leshawna cheer]
 * Bridgette: That is so awesome!


 * [Sierra and Izzy decided to swap teams in order to be with their love interests]
 * Sierra: Sorry you guys are so far behind. Our baskets nearly done already thanks to my speed weaving.
 * Izzy: Plus you've got Owen on your team, lucky!
 * Sierra: But you have Cody! [to Cody] I know, Cody. I wish we were on the same team too!
 * Cody: I have to... do something. [runs away]
 * Izzy: Aww, you guys are so cute together.
 * Sierra: Maybe we could swap teams!
 * Heather: Trade a basket case for a basket weaver? Fine. Sierra, you're with us. Izzy, go play with the boys.
 * Alejandro: What?!
 * [whirling noises]
 * Courtney: Wow. She's amazing.
 * Heather: Maybe you should think about listening to me a bit more this time around, hm?
 * [Courtney and Gwen laugh]
 * Gwen: It'll take a lot more than this to earn our trust. A lot a lot more.
 * Alejandro: Where's Chris?! He won't allow this...
 * Chris: Excuse me, did somebody-
 * Sierra: Today is officially the best day of my life. So I really hope you allow us to swap. But, of course, you'll make the best decision because you're the best decider ever.
 * Chris: And that's why I'm going to allow it.
 * Sierra: Smiley face!


 * Courtney: Izzy, tell Ruby to get into the boat.
 * Izzy: Ry-
 * Noah: [stops Izzy from helping Team Amazon] Whoa! Whoa! Izzy is on our team now, not yours. Not a word!
 * Izzy: Oh! Fun!
 * Courtney: Fine, we'll do it ourselves, come on!


 * Sierra: I called Cody's aunt and posed as a telemarketer to get me to expose secrets about him.


 * Chris: Clearly! This part of the challenge isn't hard enough, so... [the musical bell chimed] It's time for a musical reprise!
 * All: Aww!
 * Chris: Hey! If you finished the song the first time, you wouldn't be here now, Zeke! [Ezekiel makes a nervous and embarrassed look on his face] Start singing! And put your backs into it!


 * [Ezekiel got eliminated because he cost his team the challenge by accidentally letting an alligator eat the stick their team was supposed to hold on to.]
 * Chris: [he gives the last peanuts bag to DJ] DJ! [to Ezekiel] You've got 5 seconds to strap this on, or the Drop of Shame will become the Drop of Pain! [he gives a parachute to Ezekiel]
 * Ezekiel: Yo! That's unbelievable! Some team! You guys are all a bunch of-[he gets kicked out of the plane by Chef, screaming]
 * Chris: I knew that would be satisfying!
 * Ezekiel: [his last final words, while holding on to the plane's wings] I'm not going anywhere, this game's mine, eh. MIIIIIINE!
 * Duncan: [after Ezekiel got kicked out of the plane] Sucks to be Zeek!
 * Chris: Last stop for non-competitors! [gives Duncan a parachute]
 * Duncan: Yeah, right! You're supposed to give me a ride home.
 * Chris: Yeah! But, we're going the other way so... [Pushes Duncan out of the plane] See ya!
 * Duncan: Whoa!
 * Chris: Happy landing!


 * [Exclusive clip: Duncan's first Drop of Shame after quitting the game]
 * Duncan: Stupid old Chris and his stupid old—! [grunts] He's so dead when I see him next! Downside of quitting, no more million and no more lady action! On the upside, I'm off that armpit of show, and I've got my dignity intact! [he open his parachute and gets stuck in a tree as scarabs surround him]

Super Crazy Happy Fun Time Japan [3.03]

 * Alejandro: [after rescuing Leshawna from being sucked out of the plane] Such beauty will not fall through giant airplane holes on my watch!
 * [Owen's seatbelt rips off and he gets fling to the hole.]
 * Harold: I could have done that. I just prefer to leave the ladies wanting more.
 * DJ: She wants more, all right. More Alejandro!
 * Harold: DJ, you know nothing about women.
 * Leshawna: You can put me down now. I mean, if you want to. Or not. Your choice, because this is nice.


 * [Chef slices the door and the contestants are blown out of the plane.]
 * Chris: Or we could've just landed the plane!
 * Chef: Nah! Too bored!
 * [All of the contestants fall whilst screaming until the musical bell chimes.]
 * Noah: Seriously?! I mean, seriously?!


 * Harold: I went to Sensei Steve's Feudal Japanese Summer Camp!
 * Alejandro: Oh yeah? I speak Japanese too. Leshawna, hana no you ni kirei.
 * Leshawna: Howzat?
 * Alejandro: I said "You are as beautiful as a flower".
 * [Leshawna giggles at the compliment.]


 * Noah: I'm...Uh. I'm allergic to panda dander! I get hives!
 * Tyler: [points to Noah] What he said!
 * Alejandro: I'll do it for my team!
 * Chris: Wicked! Incoming! [tosses Ting Ting the Panda]


 * Heather: Gwen's face could use some remodeling!
 * Gwen: Nice! I hate to tell you, but, we're on the same team, so, you might wanna flip the wick switch back to off!
 * Courtney: Would you girls like some leadership? I would be glad to choose...
 * Cody: Stop bickering! I'll do it!
 * Chris: You might wanna bring a toothbrush, Cody! Because, the beast you'll be sharing your space with is...Sierra!
 * [Sierra squeals with excitement and tackles Cody]


 * [In the Confessional, Cody fishes a piece of Sierra’s gum out of his ear]
 * Cody: Is this her gum?! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!


 * Alejandro: I'm seeing a tiny Tokyo village...a giant radioactive monster...
 * Izzy: Yes! [Hugs Owen] Big O can be the monster! Big O, please!
 * Owen: Al, you're a genius!
 * Tyler: Super Japanese idea, Al! Nice!
 * Alejandro: Noah, what say you?
 * Noah: [Shrugs] I guess.


 * [The Amazons begin to come up in making their Japanese commercial but begin to argue]
 * Heather: We have the tiny fish, swimming in the tank, then it jumps out and plays basketball! What don't you people get about that!
 * Gwen: Too Dr. Seuss! Spinning Masks! We toss candy into their mouths
 * Courtney:insane! Flashing lights, and fireworks! Chef wants to be dazzled!
 * Cody: Girls, girls, they're all good ideas, and--
 * Heather: Overruled! Fish Tank!
 * Gwen: Hello! The only way we're winning is with the spinning heads and lots of them!
 * Courtney: [agitated] You people are impossible! I'm so out of here! [walks away]
 * Heather: [angry] Well, so am I! [also walks off, fuming]
 * Gwen: [irritated] FINE! [tosses the mask and lands on Cody's face and walks off as well]
 * Courtney: Uh, we can't storm off together! Kind of defeats the purpose.
 * Heather: YOU go back that way then!
 * Courtney: No, YOU go back that way!
 * Gwen: Well I came this way first!
 * Cody: We are in some deep trouble!


 * (we see Team CIRRRH's commercial first.)
 * Owen: (playing a monster stomping out a fake town) Roar! Rawr, monster noises!
 * Alejandro: (awkwardly timed) Oh, no, the large, out-of-shape monster!
 * Tyler: (shouting louder than the rest) WE MUST RUUUUN!
 * Noah: (completely lifelessly) Think of the childreeen.
 * Izzy: He's sooo hot!


 * [Thanks to Cody and Sierra making the Japanese commercial themselves, Team Amazon wins, while Team Victory loses again.]
 * Chris: Okay. Well, Chef.
 * Chef: Chris! I think I gotta go with Team Amazon! [Team Amazon cheers] I don't know. I just love exploding donuts.
 * Gwen: Cody! That was amazing!
 * Courtney: Totally amazing!
 * Sierra: Aww. Isn't he? Group hug! [hugs Cody, while Heather, Courtney and Gwen tries to join the hug] Back off!
 * Chris: Congratulations, Team Amazon! But, Chef, I also have to know. Who bid the biggest?
 * Chef: Uh. Those guys with that sad donkey thing! You lose! You're sending someone home tonight!
 * DJ: I put a panda in intensive care and then, I choked and wrecked our ad and we lose again!
 * LeShawna: Wait. It's not a reward?!
 * Chris: Well. I'm sure enjoying it!


 * [DJ had the most votes. Following advice from Alejandro, Harold decided to quit just as DJ was about to be sent home in an effort to restore his team's honor after his commercial idea failed.]
 * Harold: Wait! It was I who brought dishonor to our team. Only one thing can restore the balance [he stabs himself with a light up sword and he spoke in Japanese and struggles to get the light up sword off] LeShawna, I think I will miss you most of all. [he falls down from the plane]
 * LeShawna: Harold, that’s a toy lightsaber.
 * [Harold falls off the plane without a parachute. Then Chris tosses one]
 * Chris: You might need this. Good luck, Harold. [Harold yells screaming] He's yelling something back at me. Oh no, he's just screaming for his life.


 * [Exclusive clip: Harold's Drop of Shame after quitting the game]
 * Harold: This was really for the best. I was starting to get a little claustrophobic in the plane anyway. There's only so many cubic feet of air in the average airliner and so—[grunts as he lands on a sumo wrestler] I will miss Leshawna and seeing the world and—gosh! What did this guy eat?! Gosh, was it? Was it? Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails?!

Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better [3.04]

 * (Noah and Owen see Izzy hop across the ice floes with ease)
 * Noah: If Nutsy can do it, we can do it. Come on! (he jumps on the first ice floe, but slips onto his face.)
 * Owen: NOAH, HANG ON, BUDDY! (he jumps on, but his massive weight is enough to sink his end of the floe immediately, hurling a screaming Noah into a nearby snow bank)


 * Bridgette: I kind of have a boyfriend.
 * Alejandro: You have a boyfriend or you, ehh, "kind of" have a boyfriend?
 * Bridgette: I kind of... I have a kind of... a boyfriend... kind of. [In the confessional] I got flustered. But I am NOT falling for him! Mark my words.


 * Izzy: Oh, look, a speaker! Ours must play music!
 * Tyler: Is that box radioactive?
 * Chris: Eh, what isn't radioactive these days?
 * Izzy: (Now glowing green from the radiation) I can't find the radio anywhere! I think someone stole it.


 * Tyler: If you see anyone, call out!
 * Izzy: Ooh ooh ooh! There's Tyler!
 * Tyler: OTHER than me!
 * [Noah jumps on the sled]
 * Izzy: Ooh, there's Noah! Noah! Someone stole our radio!


 * Alejandro: Well, looks like this is my ride, but, I can't leave you here all alone.
 * Bridgette: Go on. I'll race you to the finish.
 * Alejandro: I think we've got enough time for 1 more accident.
 * [Bridgette and Alejandro begin to kiss but Alejandro slowly backs out when Bridgette kisses the pole and finds out her tongue is stuck to it, later the scene zooms out to Alejandro on his team's sled]
 * Bridgette: [slurring] Huh? Mmm?! Oh, crap!


 * Alejandro: [to Bridgette] My mom raised a gentleman.


 * [Chris finds Bridgette stuck to a pole]
 * Chris: [pretending to be concerned] Oh, dear! How did this happen?
 * Bridgette: [slurring] I was kissing Alejandro, and somehow, the pole got in the way.
 * Chris: This all sounds very heartfelt. I bet it would be an amazing song! (the music bell rings)
 * Bridgette: [slurring] What?! Noo!
 * Chris: Whoa! Hello, backup singers.
 * Sierra, Gwen, Heather, and Courtney: Aw...
 * Heather: Crap! I thought you'd forgotten the music challenge this time!
 * Chris: As if! It's my favorite part!


 * Chris: [clapping] Very nice.
 * Bridgette: [slurring] Uh, I mean it. Pour water... on my face.
 * Chris: Amazons... be gone!
 * [Team Amazon leaves and rides off]
 * Bridgette: [slurring] Wait! Water. My face?
 * Chris: Wish I could, but I only have the one bottle. Sorry. [drinks water out of the bottle] Ah! [Bridgette tries to get the bottle and drops water on her tongue realizing the water is all gone] Good luck! [he drives away]


 * Heather: Last place? I can't believe I did all that work for nothing!
 * Chris: Actually, Team Victory crossed the finish line without Bridgette, so they come in last.
 * [Lindsay, Leshawna, and DJ groans]


 * Chris: Oh, DJ. Health hazard to pandas, birds and now, baby seals. Which you could've avoided if you haven't cried your eyes frozen shut and got your team lost. As if you were, I don't know, cursed. Bridgette. Reasons for you to take the plunge include, making out with a pole… Actually, that's it. Pole-kissing.


 * [Bridgette got eliminated because Alejandro tricked her into getting her tongue stuck to a pole, which cost her team the challenge.]
 * Chris: Bridgette, any final words before taking the Drop of Shame?
 * Bridgette: [slurring] Yes. Alejandro. He is evil. He's pretending to be-
 * Chris: Oh, would you look at the time? [pushes Bridgette off the plane by giving her a parachute]
 * [Bridgette tries to open parachute, but fails]
 * Bridgette: [slurring] Alejandro! He's evil! Eeeevvvill!
 * Chris: Hmm. Looks like the chute got tangled. Guess we should've removed the pole, huh? Did not see that coming.


 * Tyler: [Confessional] Well, I totally rocked it today. I saved everyone's lives with my bare fingers. Everyone's gonna know who Tyler is now! Mission accomplished! [Door opens]
 * Lindsay: Oh, sorry, Noah.
 * Chris: Will Noah ever make Lindsay remember him?
 * Tyler: It's TYLER!


 * [Exclusive clip: Bridgette lands in Russia after her Drop of Shame]
 * Bridgette: [slurring] I can't believe I kissed that jerk! Ugh, Geoff will never forgive me! Ugh! Stupid, stupid pole!
 * Russian Chef: Congrads, it took two years, 200 bakers, and 2,000 tons of icing, but Russia is finally home to the world's largest cake.
 * Bridgette: [yells from the sky and lands on the cake after getting the pole off her tounge] Mmm! Chocolate!

Broadway Baby [3.05]

 * Izzy: Aww, look at Big O! His fear of flying is so adorable!
 * (Owen, still sleeping, rolls off the couch onto the floor, revealing he had been sleeping on top of Noah the whole night)
 * Noah: (clearly disheveled, and exhausted as he wasn't able to sleep because of Owen's weight crushing him) UGH! FINALLY!!! Thanks for not noticing I was MISSING ALL NIGHT! What, am I Tyler?!
 * Tyler: HEY! (as he shouts this, he inadvertently spits the food he is eating at Alejandro's face, and he is visibly annoyed.)


 * Heather: Stupid economy section! What is that horrible smell?!
 * Gwen: Defeat?
 * Courtney: I could of pulled the sled faster if someone wasn't whipping me!
 * Heather: We both know that's not true.
 * Courtney: Ugh!
 * Gwen: First chance we get, I'll totally help you vote her off.
 * Courtney: Gladly. Can we whip her off?
 * Heather: [Confessional] "Whip me off?" Ha! Not if I can prove my worth to the team. Or manipulate Sierra and Cody into slavishly obeying me. Whatever works!


 * Noah: Thanks for not noticing I was missing all night! What am I, Tyler?


 * Girls: Cody!
 * Noah: Fine! I’ll do it!
 * Lindsay: Oh. And I’ll do it for Team Victory. I love it when people call me baby.
 * Noah: [Nudges Tyler] Make a mental note of that, bro.
 * Tyler: I don't have a pen.


 * Sierra: Back in the 80's, he was, Making trouble is easy to do, but, making you love me is painful! [Chris twitches his eye]
 * Gwen: You were in Fametown?
 * DJ: [Confessional, laughing]
 * Owen: [Confessional, laughing]
 * Courtney: [Confessional, laughing]
 * Chef: [Confessional, laughing]
 * All: [laughing]


 * Alejandro: Central Park is so romantic, don't you find?
 * Heather: Whatever. I know you've been messing with Sierra's head, so back off or you'll wish you had.
 * Alejandro: My wish doesn't involve backing off.
 * Heather: Ugh! Just go play with your stupid team and leave us alone!
 * Alejandro: You're beautiful when you play hard to get. [Heather growls] I'm going.
 * Heather: You bet you are! Right out of the game! [she switches Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot's baby carriage that contains Noah in it with an actual baby carriage containing a real baby to sabotage them while Alejandro, Owen, and Izzy cheer]


 * [Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot gets first place when they make it to the heart of Central Park, but they find their baby carriage with a baby in it, courtesy of Heather]
 * Owen: We're awesome!
 * Izzy: 1st place! [a baby cries inside a carriage as she gasps] Noah regressed into a baby!
 * Owen: [gasps] And he ate all my pretzels!
 * Tyler: Wait! This isn't our carriage!
 * Chris: No Noah means no 1st place.
 * Alejandro: We have to go back!
 * Lady: Ok now, who gets a big kiss! [turns around and screams as her baby carriage has Noah in it, Alejandro runs by and puts an apple on top on Noah and returns the lady's baby carriage to her]
 * Alejandro: [after arriving last] What? We lost?

Aftermath: Bridgette Over Troubled Waters [3.06]

 * Eva: So, you gotta tell me what you saw!
 * Hamish McTavish: (Speaking in a Scottish accent)
 * Eva: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!?! ARGH FORGET THIS!!! [throws the microphone on the ground and hits the Scottish man in the groin and storms off]


 * Harold: When your bladder is full, it's roughly the size of a softball! [Justin punches him] The longest cricket match lasted fourteen days, that's a lot of googlies! [Heather knees Harold in the groin] In Alaska, it's illegal to talk to someone when they moose hunt! [A moose rams him whilst Noah watches on in utter disbelief] Squirrels only blink one eye at a time, like this! [blinks his eyes, one at a time, the squirrel does the same and punches Harold] 111, 111, 111 times 111, 111, 111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321, which is a mathematical palindrome. [The other contestants have weapons preparing to fight Harold] How cool is that? [LeShawna rolls her eyes]


 * Harold: I'm no surfer, unless you count the Net. Plus I've never kissed any dudes.


 * Beth: Come on, Bridgette. You can't lock yourself in the green room forever! So you kissed a frozen pole on TV. It wasn't that bad.
 * Bridgette: It's not even just that. It's this whole Aftermath show.
 * Beth: Come out and we'll talk about it.
 * Bridgette: I thought I hated interviewing people on the show last year, but being a guest is even worse.
 * Beth: There has to be something you like about the show. Bridgette?
 * Bridgette: Geoff. Even when he was being a Hollywood-level fame-loving freakazoid, I liked Geoff.
 * Beth: When are you gonna get a better chance to tell him how you feel?
 * Bridgette: You sure I can't do it by text?


 * Blaineley: Eva, can you tell us what you saw?
 * Eva: Like, a whole bunch of dumb girls chasing Harold, Justin, and Trent.
 * Blaineley: And what did these girls look like?
 * Eva: Duh! Like, a bunch of dumb girls in dumb plaid skirts, like kilts.
 * Blaineley: Kilts? A school bus? Could be a private girls school. Eva, what color were the kilts?
 * Eva: White and dumb. AGH! FORGET THIS! [throws the microphone and hits the janitor in the groin and storms off]


 * Bridgette: Ale-heinous was playing every girl out there! We all fell for it!
 * Geoff: Some harder than others. Imagine if the tables were turned!
 * Bridgette: You probably would've kissed him too! He's that good!


 * Eva: I don't know why you would, but they want me to tell you to tune in next time, got it? There's gonna be more crazy action, on Total! Drama! World Touuuur! Aw, forget this!

Slap Slap Revolution [3.07]

 * Owen: [about to be sucked out of the plane] AAAAAHHHHHH! HELP! SOMEBODY! PRETTY PLEASE! AL! GIVE ME AN ALE-HAND-BRO!
 * Alejandro: [confessional; angry about Owen] Ugh! How dare he pervert the name of Alejandro Burromuerto!


 * Sierra: [confessional] I'm already prepping souvenirs for my post-season online charity auction. Like, every time Heather thinks she's using me, I make a little notch in my belt. [opens the belt as her pants fall off] See? [reveals her underwear on camera]


 * Lindsay: What?! There's a sale at the Kahki Barn! [screams].


 * Lindsay: [to Tyler] Hi, Darrel!
 * Tyler: [angrily] It's me! Tyler! Season 1, you and I were together!
 * Lindsay: You must have me confused with someone else. The only guy I was into on the show is Tyler, and he's never coming back.


 * Heather: [Confessional] Alejandro flirting with Leshawna?! I would throw up, but he is not even worth the puke! Did you hear him back there?! Even his singing is up to something! Ugh!


 * Lindsay: [to Leshawna and DJ] Great news, guys! Tyler is back!
 * Leshawna: [acting all surprised] What?! Mm, mm. Girl, no way!
 * Lindsay: Yeah, can you believe it? [runs off]
 * Leshawna: [to DJ] It's easier to just go along with it.


 * Courtney: Ugh! I knew we should've tackled you when you threw our grinder out!
 * Heather: You didn't disagree at the time.
 * Courtney: What kind of self-involved, lazy, useless, formerly bald dimwit thinks a reward won't eventually come in handy?!


 * Heather: Forget it! Shoving meat into the grinder is dangerous. I'm valuable! Who got us the win in New York?
 * Courtney: Who threw out the electric grinder?
 * Heather: Yeah, but--
 * Amazons: [irritated] SHOVE IT!


 * Courtney: Uh, less yacking, more packing.
 * Heather: Well, at least I'm doing something.


 * DJ: 3 against 2? How is that fair?
 * Chris: You're kidding, right? [to Team Amazon] And which member of the losing team must wear "Da Penalty-hosen"? [Cody looks worried]
 * Cody: [in confessional] Look, I'd do anything to keep Gwen from seeing me in a German bikini!
 * Cody: [to Sierra] Those lederhosen would look really... [gulps] hot on you.
 * Sierra: Pick me! Meee! Me!
 * Chris: Funny. I was gonna make you wear them, but now that you want to... Cody, congratulations!
 * Cody: [yelling] NO!
 * Noah: [laughs] How are the hosen treatin' ya?
 * Cody: It feels like someone gave my wedgie a wedgie!


 * Sierra: [in confessional] My grandparents are German. [laughs] Schnitzel! I'm like a 10th generation slap dancer! It's what kept me alive on the school playground, and probably why I didn't make any friends. But who needs friends when you have a Cody?


 * Alejandro: Ignore those who do not know fabulous dancing when they see it. Truly, you are fabulous. You mustn't hold back any longer!
 * Leshawna: You're right, candy apple! Clear the way! This dance train is leaving the station!
 * Alejandro: I'm disappointed Heather. You're above petty teasing.
 * Heather: [confessional] No, I'm not! Ugh! I would lie to smack that arrogant jerk right in those...
 * Leshawna: [confessional] Strong sexy cheek bones. I could dance already. But with his encouragement, I just went from Janet to Beyoncé! [falls over]
 * Noah: What's with you and Leshawna? Giving the enemy a pep talk? Not cool.
 * Alejandro: Very perceptive, my brilliant teammate. I'm working an angle that'll benefit our team.
 * Owen: I don't feel so h-h-h-h-hot.
 * Chris: Perfect time to test this baby out.
 * Owen: [gets electrocuted] Whoa! [burps] Oh, smells like cooked sausage, cool!
 * Heather: 1 girl to another, watch out for Alejandro. He is not who he seems.
 * Leshawna: Ha! You jealous he's paying attention to all this?
 * Heather: What? Ugh, I hate that guy! As if! [gets electrocuted]
 * Leshawna: [confessional] Anyone who Heather can't stand must be good!


 * [In the final round, Leshawna squares off against Heather and Alejandro squares off against Sierra]
 * Courtney: C'mon, Sierra! Don't burn out now!
 * DJ: Stay on the platform, Leshawna!
 * Leshawna: I'm not going anywhere!
 * Alejandro: That's it! Seize the day!
 * Heather: Ugh! She's not even on your team! [slaps Leshawna]
 * Leshawna: Ow! [slaps Heather and throws her off of the platform] I'M GONNA SEIZE THE YOU! YOU'VE HAD THIS COMING FOR 3 SEASONS! [she proceeds to beat up Heather, leaving her face considerably bruised and knocking out one of her front teeth]
 * [Sierra defeats Alejandro as Team Amazon gets the victory]
 * Chris: Team Amazon wins again!
 * Sierra: We won?! Oh, I won?! I won! I won! Oh, ah! [starts to fall asleep as she snores until she gets electrocuted]
 * Noah: [walks up to Alejandro] Dude, seriously, what happened?
 * Alejandro: Heather sacrificed herself to distract me and her brilliant plan worked. I'm most disappointed in myself.
 * Heather: [muffled] Oh yeah, I totally planned that. Mm. Ow.


 * Heather: [Confessional] There is no way Sierra could have knocked that rock hard, walking prime rib of a... jerk-face, off the platform! But why would Alejandro take a dive for me? [cut to her in the plane] I think you took a dive back there and I wanna know why.
 * Alejandro: And I think you took one too many slaps to the head.
 * Heather: Ha! I know you're up to something!
 * Alejandro: Do you know how great you look with that missing tooth? It really brings out the anger in your eyes.
 * Heather: You... that is so... ugh! [walks away out of anger as she and Noah both get grossed out by Owen eating a sausage he threw up during the dance challenge]
 * Noah: Uh... tell me those aren't the same sausages you threw up.


 * [Leshawna got eliminated because she slapped Heather during the challenge]
 * Leshawna: What?! But, I-I'm fabulous! I seized the day!
 * Chris: And we're out of time. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night.
 * [Leshawna grabs onto the door when she notices Alejandro appear from behind a tiki statue, grinning evilly and blowing her a kiss]
 * Leshawna: [gasps] YOU! [Alejandro knocks her hand off, sending her tumbling out of the plane] Noooooo!


 * [Exclusive clip: Leshawna's Drop of Shame]
 * Leshawna: Alejandro is evil?! That handsome fool played me! Harold, baby, he didn’t mean anything; I was so lost without you! And that nasty bad boy took advantage. I swear when I get my hands on his silky, smooth — [grunts] Here again?! Could this get any worse?! [the ferocious mountain goat from before appears and attacks her]

The Am-AH-Zon Race [3.08]

 * Owen: [After accidentally punching Alejandro in the eye] Al, what happened?
 * Alejandro: Nothing a little ice and revenge won't fix.
 * Owen: Cool...Did you say revenge?
 * Alejandro: Of course not. Off-topic, do you have any serious allergies?


 * Owen: [confessional] Sometimes I get the feeling that Al might slightly not totally like me. Punching him in the face probably didn't help...unless he likes that kind of thing. Fingers crossed!


 * [For being in 1st place, Team Victory gets to zipline across the river, using the T-Bar.]
 * Chris: Welcome, Tiny Victory! I’d say team, but, you’re more of a duo. But, hey! First is first! So, you get to cross this water hazard using the T-Bar. Everyone else will have to take the line hand over hand.
 * DJ: Sweet!
 * [Lindsay gets on DJ's shoulders and they zip over the river.]
 * Lindsay: 1st Place!


 * Alejandro: We need no T-Bar. We’re Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot. [unties his belt and uses it as a makeshift T-Bar] Arriba! [zips over the river]
 * Owen: Whatever you say, Al. [holds on to the line] Arriba! [screams as he zips down the line, but, he soon emerges from the water when he gets attacked by piranhas]
 * Chris: Oh Yes! There may or may not be piranhas in this water.


 * Gwen: Tied up? Rope is no joke! Spears in our face? Get us out of this place! Ain't having the luck I anticipated. Probably means I'm eliminated. Yeah, I'm out!


 * [With night fallen, Lindsay's stomach swells after stuffing herself with bananas; hearing some pattering sound]
 * Lindsay: [snoring and she waking up] DJ, what are you doing?
 * DJ: I'm covered in bugs!
 * Lindsay: [she turn the flashlight on] Wow. The bugs look exactly like teeny tiny adorable monkeys.
 * DJ: What? Oh no! They must've been attracted to the bananas! Aw.


 * Heather: [Confessional] Even as a child, I knew that someday, a large group of people would worship me. I knew. [grins showing her new gold tooth]


 * [Team Victory arrived at Machu Piccu first, DJ was all scratched up from the monkey attack.]
 * Chris: The Victorious Twosome! Somehow, you two are still in first place. Find the treasure before anyone else, and you'll leave Peru in first class.
 * Lindsay: Yes! Yes! Yes!
 * Chris: What happened to him?
 * Lindsay: Same Old Story! Attacked by miniature monkeys!
 * DJ: I deserve it! I always deserve it!
 * Lindsay: But, this time, the animals hurt you and we're in first place! Maybe for once the person going home won't be from our team!
 * DJ: Split up! We'll cover more ground!


 * Chris: Like that! Finally! Victory for Team Victory!
 * [Team Victory cheers after winning the challenge, thanks to Lindsay]


 * [Team Amazon tried to vote a member off but it was revealed it was a fake elimination]
 * Gwen: [confessional] I vote for Heather. And Chris, there's ten dollars in it if you forget to give her a parachute.
 * Courtney: [confessional] Goodbye, Heather. Wow. Feels too good to be true.
 * Heather: [confessional] I vote Gwen.
 * Sierra: [confessional] I vote for Heather. [giggles] I used to say that in my bathroom mirror all the time. And now, here I am doing it. Ah! This is so awesome!
 * Cody: [confessional] I... vote for Sierra. She's like the stalker girlfriend I always thought I wanted... until I got one.
 * Chris: There. All done.
 * Sierra: [cries; confessional] He voted... for me? President of his fan club? After all I've done for him? Foot rubs, secret hair collection, I mean, it's just so... Cody! [cries]
 * Heather: Let's just get this over with.
 * Chris: I guess this would be a good time to watch Heather fall out of the plane, you know, if this had actually been an elimination round. But it's not. Surprise!
 * Heather: [confessional] Now they fear me. And so they should. I will make them all pay for what they tried to do to me, and then... I'll crush Alejandro for dessert!

Can't Help Falling In Louvre [3.09]

 * Owen: Um, yeah... I know exactly what you mean. When I'm, uh, away from Izzy for too long, I get really..
 * Noah: Happy? Because your girlfriend is a complete and total nutjob. And I'm not talking tiny peanuts, that girl is a Brazil nut sized nut job.
 * Owen: Hey, where is Izzy anyway?
 * Alejandro: I saw her go to the cockpit to talk to Chef.
 * [Owen, Noah, Heather, and Cody gasp, then plane shakes while an alarm goes off]
 * Cody: Oh no!
 * Courtney: What's happening?!
 * Tyler: We're going down!
 * [switches to cockpit]
 * Izzy: Whoa! What does this button do?! [presses a button and plane flips] Oh! And this one! [presses another button]
 * Chef: Girl, stop that!
 * [switches to outside of the plane]
 * Izzy: Ooo. Blue button! [pushes it and planes starts to fall with mostly everyone screaming and the plane then recovers in the flight]
 * Heather: Having some trouble controlling your team, Alejandro?
 * [Alejandro sees Owen sucking his thumb while stuck in cargo hold, Tyler crashed into another cargo hold, and Noah with his head stuck in a birdcage]
 * Alejandro: Your attempts to insult my team are... cute.
 * Heather: Whatever. My girl power team is going to win. We don't get distracted by anything, especially boys. [Alejandro points to Sierra who is crying when Cody tried to vote her off while eating a pint of ice cream] Get it together! [she drags Sierra out by her hair]
 * Alejandro: [whispering] All clear.
 * [a luggage case falls off the cargo hold to reveal Cody cramped inside]


 * Cody: [in confessional hiding behind Alejandro] Chris is the one who played the video of me trying to vote her off, so why do I feel like such a schmuck? All I did was vote, in which I had to do!
 * Alejandro: How long are you gonna keep this up?
 * Cody: I'm done. [pops his head out noticing a stitch on Alejandro's trousers] Did you know you have a little rip on the seam there, just a-
 * Alejandro: Out, Cody!


 * Izzy: [over the intercom, imitating Chris] Ahem! This is your captain speaking. If you look out your window, you'll get to see what happens when a plane does a somersault!
 * Chef: [grabbing the microphone from Izzy] Give me that! Uh, ya'll might wanna hang on to something heavy.
 * [Alejandro, Cody, Noah, and Tyler all hold onto Owen in terror and the plane rolls and flips on a strip on water in front of the Louvre, then lands.]
 * Izzy: Woo! [the plane ejects Izzy who hits her head on the plane before hitting the water and laughing]
 * [the camera cuts to the cockpit]
 * Chris: You said we were landing at the Eiffel Tower!
 * Chef: And you said you was gonna replace that curtain with a locked door!


 * Lindsay: There's only 1 guy I want to share this with, the guy I've been dreaming about since we've been apart! Where's my Tyler?
 * Tyler: Hey, Linds.
 * Lindsay: Are you sure that's you? Cause you look slightly different in my head.
 * Alejandro: Everything looks slightly different in her head.


 * Heather: [while holding Cody in her arms] Cody, you bought her into this mess so you have to get her out.
 * Cody: [walks over to Sierra who is still crying] There, there.
 * Gwen: I can't stand any more crying we can do this challenge without your deal with Sierra. [she and Courtney walk away]
 * Cody: [screams as a bear comes] Okay Sierra, snap out of it. Snap out of it.
 * [Sierra continues crying]


 * Cody: The thing is, I only voted for you cause I couldn't keep pretending not to be annoyed by- Okay, that's coming out wrong. Forget the apology. I'll get you whatever you want!
 * Sierra: [with her fingers in her ears] La la la la la, is somebody talking?
 * Chris: Hi. My name is Chris, and I'm the host of the show. Hey, did you know you're on it? Right now? And supposed to be doing a challenge?
 * Cody: Sierra's mad at me.
 * Chris: Awwwwwww. Don't care.
 * Cody: I have to get her to stop crying!
 * Chris: [smiles] Still not caring. [the music bell dings] Hey! You know what that means? Time to sing! [angrily] Or you're off my show!
 * Cody: No! Chris, please! She won't-
 * Sierra: I'll sing! For Chris.


 * Heather: [yelling] ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS TO GO OUTSIDE?! DO IT, CODY!
 * Cody: Okay, she didn't tell me. Let's go Sierra.
 * [Sierra ignores Cody and walks off leaving him behind]


 * [Cody goes on a fake date with Sierra]
 * Cody: Look, isn't this romantic? Great view, all your favorite foods. Well, my favorites, but I saw you eating this stuff on this plate before. [opens the bottle as the cap hits Sierra] Oh! Sorry! [passes the bottle to Sierra but she passes it back to him]
 * Sierra: It's no fun cause you're only doing it cause you have to.
 * Cody: Well, I [mumbles] How am I going to fix this?
 * [the picture gets knocked down]


 * Lindsay: Are you hurt? Or are we sad that we lost again?
 * DJ: These are happy tears! I'm going home! Mama! I'm coming home!
 * Lindsay: What?!
 * DJ: Well. There are only two of us! So, if I vote for myself and you vote for me, I get to go home! To my mama's warm embrace!


 * [Cody and Sierra walk up to Heather]
 * Heather: I thought you were fixing her.
 * Cody: Look, I don't know what she wants. [Sierra cries even more, as Cody loses his temper] ENOUGH! SIERRA, PUT A SOCK IN IT! [Sierra stops crying] Okay. You know what? Today is terrible. I hate today. You know why? Because you're not bugging me, invading my personal space, touching my things, smelling my hair. All annoying, but you know what? You do it all with a certain, uh, a certain enthusiasm that I've gotten used to.
 * Sierra: Really?
 * Cody: Yes, but what I'm not used to is all this crying and moping. I want things back the way they were before. Kinda in the way I'd prefer a slap to the face instead of a kick to the chestnuts.
 * Sierra: [affectionately hugs Cody] Shut up! Just shut up! You had me at "sock."
 * (The animals that DJ ran over applauds for Cody and Sierra's reconcilement)


 * Chris: Okay? What you think judges?
 * Heather: I don't know what Lindsay is thinking all that surrealism it makes me nauseous.
 * Owen: I'd had to say that Lindsay's just have to made me hungry. There were pictures of pheasants and I think some fruit. Yeah hungry, definitely hungry and obsequious.
 * Chris: I can't picture myself wearing water lilies. I mean I'm 105, I don't like it.
 * DJ: This is perfect. Lindsay's design sucked I will totally bottom sum. Home, here I come.
 * Chris: And what about DJ's work?
 * Heather: [Judging DJ's model and fashion design] Dry, dull, uninspiring, not a hint of effort with the presentation. But enough about Gwen, the shirt was a 10!
 * Chris: I agree. Model sucked, shirt good. I'd wear it.
 * Owen: Well, I'd have to say I didn't realize that there would be two models so I wasn't paying attention but I really like DJ's shirt. Owen out.
 * Chris: Victory to DJ!
 * DJ: [shocked upon hearing this] What? I won? NO!


 * [After Lindsay's model looked worse than DJ's in the walk-off ordered by Chris, she was eliminated]
 * Tyler: Those judges wouldn't know fashion if it is smacked them in the head.
 * Lindsay: You're nice, even you're a bad walker. I totally hope your hockey team wasn't watching.
 * Tyler: At least they saw me with a cute girlfriend for 20 minutes. Ha! Take that, Brent Steves!
 * Lindsay: [laughs] One quick kiss before I go?
 * [Tyler puckers up, but Chris puts his hand over his mouth]
 * Chris: It's a half hour show.
 * Lindsay: Win for us. [tries to give Tyler a blow kiss, but Chris stops her as well]
 * Chris: I said, "It's a half hour show."
 * Lindsay: [jumps, but hits herself repeatedly on the Drop of Shame door, falling] Byyyyyyyyeeeee!!!!


 * [Exclusive clip: Lindsay's Drop of Shame]
 * Lindsay: Oh, hi. [speaks French] Could you direct me to a phone? We exactly a phone thank you. Okay, what are you doing what I do? Oh why you talk to me? Stop doing what I'm doing! It's creepy! Stop it! Less stop!

Newf Kids on the Block [3.10]

 * DJ: [in confessional] As the only one left on Team Victory, uh, I'm having a hard time seeing how I can possibly win this thing. Plus, I have a bit of a cold. [coughs lightly] And let's face it; I never had a killer instinct. Unless it's an animal it turns out.
 * Heather: [pops out of the ventilation shaft] DJ! [DJ screams when he sees Heather] Make an alliance with my team, and we'll help you win!
 * DJ: Whoa! Wh-what are you... [in an upset tone] Hey! It's a good thing I wasn't doing my business in here!
 * Heather: I did have to wait a while for you to show up. FYI, Izzy likes to sing "Pop Goes the Weasel" when she... [cringes] Ugh!


 * Heather: [Confessional] Oh. He is good! [sighs; static] I want the tape! Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?!


 * Gwen: [Confessional] You know, Heather really shouldn't let her obvious crush on Alejandro get in the way of the game. Having a relationship with Duncan really screwed things up for me last season - Trent! I meant, Trent. Just a slip of the tongue, heh. [static] I want that tape back! Give me the tape! How do you open this thing?!


 * Courtney: [Confessional] Okay, fine. So I did let a guy get in the way of how I played the game. I really can't stop thinking about how Duncan could just abandon me like this, and I… I messed up. Did I just say that on air? [static] I want that tape back! Give me the tape! Ooh! How do you open this thing?!


 * Courtney: I am a CIT!
 * Heather: More like a b-i-t-c…
 * Gwen: Guys! Let's get going!


 * [Heather goes to help DJ, leaving Courtney as the leader]
 * Heather: DJ will be mine! [jumps off the boat and swims to DJ] Courtney! You're in charge!
 * Courtney: Always! Alright, guys! I'm a very experienced rower, a three-time coxswain and a CIT! So…
 * Gwen: Just Go!


 * DJ: [sees Heather appear on his boat] Heather? What do you want?
 * Heather: [moves DJ to the other side] I am NOT letting you quit DJ!
 * DJ: All I want to do is to drift the long pieces and lose. I'm sick. I have a cough. [fake coughs]
 * Heather: You can thank me later.
 * DJ: I don't want to hurt one more little animal. Okay? I just want to go home!


 * Noah: [using the confessional for the first and only time] No wonder my cousins aren't allowed to watch this show. My aunt prevents them to watch Total Drama.


 * Heather: Yes!
 * DJ: What?! Oh no!
 * Heather: You sang! You're still in the game! You're still in the game!
 * Chris: Yes. Yes, you are. But maybe not for long. You might want to take a weekend or over there by.
 * [DJ and Heather scream as an iceberg appear]
 * Heather: That was close.
 * DJ: It was about to get closer. Look out! [he and Heather scream again as their boat hit the iceberg as they get to the beach] We're alive! You saved us Heather.
 * Heather: Now will you be in an alliance with me?


 * Heather: [Confessional] If Chris wants to have a dumb party, he should just hire a caterer. Because I am not it. Perhaps I'll just have to add a few surprises to his clams.


 * Courtney: Duncan? [she and Gwen are climbing up a rock] I knew you couldn't stay away!
 * Gwen: Get down here you jerk!
 * Sierra: Alone at last. [looks closely at Cody's face] You smell like toothpaste.
 * [Cody falls in the water after Sierra scares him]
 * Gwen: [after Courtney pulled her up to the top of the mountain] What I swear it was him!


 * [Courtney and Gwen come back to their team's boat]
 * Cody: It's about time you guys got back. Where's Duncan?
 * Gwen: We thought we saw him!
 * Courtney: It was just a bunch of dumb rocks.
 * Sierra: That happens to people whenever they want to see someone they REALLY like. This one time I saw Cody riding a white horse outside my bedroom window! And this was before I even knew him.
 * Cody: Please! Can we stop this story now?
 * Sierra: I ended up picking thorns out of my tushy for like, a week. Because I jumped out the window. To get on the horse. And I landed on a rosebush. Oh! I have a scarf you wanna-
 * Courtney: You were dreaming. You weren't! To say that we saw Duncan just because we want to is crazy talk.
 * Sierra: You do want to see him? Don't you?
 * Courtney: Of course. A lot. But that doesn't explain why Gwen saw him.
 * Gwen: Yeah. It doesn't make any sense at all.


 * Heather: [finds DJ again] Oh hey DJ. Hey listen, I've been looking for you.
 * DJ: I told you, I'm not joining any alliance. [coughs]
 * Heather: That is not what this is about. I swear. I just want to give you this herbal drink for that horrible cough of yours.
 * DJ: Why do you care so much anyway?
 * Heather: Hey I saved us from that iceberg didn't I? I care. Now, you have to jug up the whole thing. [gives DJ the bottle]
 * DJ: [coughs] Man, this cough is getting really annoying. All right, here goes nothing. [drinks the full bottle]

Jamaica Me Sweat [3.11]

 * [The plane runs out of fuel.]
 * Chris: [to Chef] Um, are we out of gas?
 * Chef: Yeah... 'cause you spent all our gas money!
 * Chris: [into intercom] Attention, passengers! [screams]
 * All: [Screaming]
 * Owen: We're all gonna di-hi-hi-hi-hie!
 * DJ: Tell momma I love her!
 * Owen: [tumbles next to Izzy, who is already wearing a parachute.] Izzy, we need to talk!
 * Izzy: Ooh, you'll have to catch me first! [opens the plane door] Last one out's a rotten egg! [winks at Owen, then jumps out, laughing as Owen screams as he gets sucked out]
 * Owen: [Screams and Lands hard on a beach in Jamaica] Oww-aah? I'm okay? [laughs] I'm okay! [Izzy jumps and lands on his groin] Ah! Great gobs of chutney, that smarts!
 * Izzy: Perfect landing! Not even a scratch. [plane lands squarely on her and Owen] Ahh!


 * Owen: [confessional, looking the worse for wear after the plane landed squarely on him and Izzy] Uh, no biggie. Just a concussion. Can you parents my phone and worry them not to tell... Santa? [falls over]


 * [Sierra jumps and lands in the water with a big splash that soaks Courtney, Gwen and Heather. An eel latches on Courtney's head.]
 * Heather: Watch It, Fanzilla!
 * Courtney: [screams as the eel electrocutes her]
 * Gwen: [grabs the eel] Got it!
 * Both: [gets electrocuted by the eel] Ow!


 * Alejandro: [Before Heather can jump in] You have beautiful form!
 * Heather: What?! [Wobbles and falls, screaming, and she bellyflops in the water]
 * Alejandro: Nothing personal!


 * Chris: Will Izzy, Owen and Gwen recover? Will Chef fix the plane so we can leave here while I'm still young?
 * Noah: I don’t know. Did we land in the 70s? [Chris pushes Noah off the cliff, and he screams as he plummets to the water]
 * Chris: Find out after the break, on TOTAL. DRAMA. WORLD TOUR! Hey! Where’s my musical accompaniment? [gets hit by a boombox, courtesy of Chef, and Chef smiles at the camera as the screen fades to black]


 * [Suddenly, the army shows up medically evacuated, Izzy was taken by the military due to her newfound intelligence after the crash fixed a blockage in her brain.]
 * Gwen: The army?!
 * Army Soldier: Say goodbye Izzy. We're air lifting you home for special treatment.
 * Owen: Izzy is leaving the competition? For good? Oh, Izzy! Why did I ever wanna break up with you?
 * Izzy: Logic, we are incompatible, ergo, the relationship must end. Adieu!
 * [Izzy leaves the game with the army]


 * [Owen returns in time for challenge #2.]
 * Owen: Hey! Wait up! Doc says, I'm okay to compete! [trips and falls]
 * Chris: [over the megaphone] Owen's back!
 * Alejandro: Vacation over!


 * Chris: [over the megaphone] Team Victory Takes round 1.
 * Courtney: [gets annoyed] Uh. We're all here! You don't need to keep using that!
 * Chris: [over the megaphone] Maybe, I just like it! Round 2!


 * Heather: Your lawyers know the show's contracts inside and out. Chris can't really kill us. Right?
 * Courtney: Not in my contract! But, who knows what they put in yours.


 * Alejandro: You asked me earlier why I was nice to DJ? Well, I hated to see him suffer. But you've seen how happy he is now. That's because I painted that symbol on Irene. To fool him into thinking his curse was over.
 * Tyler: Wait. You mean DJ's still cursed?!
 * DJ: [gasps] Irene! No!
 * Alejandro: DJ, you weren't supposed to hear that. Sorry, my friend. [sighs] I was only trying to help.
 * Chris: [through megaphone] Team Amazon, ready?!
 * Sierra: We're our only hope. You and me. It's destiny! Ready!
 * [Cody and Sierra ride the track again and they hit the pool.]
 * Chris: 53.41 seconds for a 3 run combined total of... 2 minutes and 37 seconds. Good, but will it be good enough?
 * Tyler: Should I trust my instincts again?
 * Alejandro: No! Pull your headband down and trust mine instead.
 * Tyler: [pulls his headband down] Whatever you say, Alejandro. [screams]
 * [as Alejandro and Tyler ride the track, Alejandro punches part of the track to sabotage DJ's last run]
 * Chris: The men are in 1st place with a total of 2 minutes and 35 seconds. [through megaphone] Team Victory?
 * DJ: You better stay here, Irene! Just to be on the safe side. Whoo! Go, Team Victory! [he starts the final round and rides down his board as he bumps into two birds] Look out! Ah! [gets bumped by a walrus] That doesn't even make sense! [screams when he rides through Alejandro's broken plank]
 * Chris: [watching DJ get launched in the air after his last run was sabotaged, courtesy of Alejandro] Incomplete! The men wins while Team Endless Non-Victory goes to the elimination room, 1 more time! Ya know, if he ever comes back!
 * [Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot cheers while Team Amazon gets frustrated when they lose again.]


 * Heather: [satisfied; walks over to DJ who is wearing a cast after his final run was sabotaged by Alejandro] Guess you picked the wrong person to buddy up to? Huh? Try to warn ya. [walks away]
 * [DJ sighs]
 * Alejandro: [Confessional] DJ has Chris to thank him for his departure! Not allowed on my team and no merge on the horizon! Bye-Bye! Nothing personal! [laughs]
 * [DJ got eliminated because Alejandro sabotaged his third run on the bobsled course which gave him an incomplete time. He was then automatically eliminated from the competition and he was the last member of Team Victory.]
 * DJ: Umm. Since Izzy's gone, we don't need another elimination tonight, right?
 * Chris: Wrong! Drop of Shame's thataway, you can let yourself out. [DJ gets a parachute, he looks at Chris and he waves goodbye. And DJ jumps, but lands on the ground, due to the plane still on land.] It isn't the same without the scream.
 * DJ: [sighs] Mama!
 * Chris: Not bad!
 * DJ: [Screams as fire ants attack him] Fire ants! [Runs away, screaming]


 * [Exclusive clip begins, where we see Gwen took her temperature from the doctor after her shocks from the eels]
 * Gwen: Well, the electric have stopped. But, I still feel so weak, when I close my eyes all I see are eels, eels and more eels! [the doctor raised his brow] But I'm cured only temporary and nothing to go home for a good night's sleep on a real bed is all I need. [the doctor, leaves and then, the curtain opened, Gwen woke up, and sees eels, screaming]

Aftermath: Revenge of the Telethon [3.12]

 * Lindsay: Has anyone seen Tyler? Tyler, they're stealing my lip gloss!


 * Leshawna: Taking out Heather was fun, don't get me wrong. But she's still in the game and I'm here! I wish I'd smacked Alejandro!
 * Bridgette: I know, he's the worst! With that evil mind and that...silky...hair...[realizes what she's saying] Ugh! Evil!
 * Geoff: I've gotta admit, I'm kind of relieved that I'm not the only dude whose chick went soft for that Ale-jerk-dro.


 * Blaineley: [showing footage of Alejandro] Check it out, Bridgette. Audience surveys showed that people loved it when you drooled over Fabulandro.
 * Bridgette: I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend. [puts a bag over her head] I'm not even looking.
 * Blaineley: Keep those donations coming, and I'll keep the drama coming! Oh, Bridgette, you have got to see this!


 * Harold: My mom donates $200.00 to the show in exchange that I clean my family's garage.

I See London... [3.13]

 * Heather: [while Courtney tends to Gwen's sunburn] Bonding over poop juice?! Ugh! Is there anyone sane left around here? [sees Sierra using her laptop/pizza box] That would be a no.
 * Sierra: Tweeter update! Gwen's hand smells like Jamaican bird doodie. Cody is still cute. [giggles] Uh, 67 characters. Okay, 73 left. What else can I say?
 * Noah: [imitating Sierra] Considering buying myself a life on Fred's List, but having trouble deciding as they are all such a major improvement! [Owen squirts milk out of his nose from laughter and covers Noah in milk] Dude, gross!
 * Owen: Did I get some of my nose milkshake on you? Sorry. It's the only thing that really cools off a snoot full of Jamaican Scotch Bonnet peppers. [eats peppers] Mmm. [gulp] Hot... Hot... Hot... Milk! [guzzles down milk carton]
 * Noah: [imitating Sierra again] "Must learn how to make nose-shakes like Owen! That'll impress Cody!"
 * Owen: [laughs, then shoots a pepper out of nose] OW!
 * [pepper ricochets around economy class and hits Tyler in the eye]
 * Tyler: Ow! Weak!
 * [Noah laughs]
 * Owen: [Confessional] Aw, my little buddy Noah is like, the funniest guy in the world, so making him laugh is awesome! It's like getting an A+ in hilarity. I wanna top his honor roll! Did that sound creepy? [end of confessional]
 * [Noah and Owen are both laughing]
 * Owen: Check it out. I'll shoot a pepper out whichever nostril you pick, I mean choose.
 * Noah: Yeah, cause 1 nose shake a day isn't enough.
 * Owen: Aw, but I'm out of milk.
 * Noah: Hey Courtney, how much of that poop juice have you got left?
 * [Owen laughs]
 * Alejandro: Excuse me, gentlemen. I have to be, anywhere but here. [Confessional] A nose shake? Ugh. How many more episodes are there? [end of confessional]


 * [Courtney, Gwen, and Heather run into a torture chamber in front a medieval torture rack]
 * Courtney: Oh my gosh! This is the very room where Anne Boleyn lived in before Henry VIII beheaded her!
 * Heather: What is with the creepy desk?
 * Chef: It's a medieval torture rack. You decide, toss someone on there to raise! [chuckles]
 * Gwen: I volunteer Heather!
 * Courtney: I second that motion!
 * Heather: Hey!
 * Gwen: Who'd like to carry the motion. Cody? Sierra? [realized that the duo were missing] Umm. Where'd they go?


 * Noah: Quick! Tie him down before Alejandro shows up and makes me do it just because I'm shorter!
 * Owen: Why don't you like Al? He's great.
 * Noah: I don't trust the guy. He's like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil.
 * Owen: Dirty?
 * Noah: Slippery. Think about it. He's like Heather, only with social skills.


 * Heather: [Screams in pain, as Courtney and Gwen stretch her] You did that on purpose, you...[Bleep]
 * Courtney: Every cloud has a silver lining! [She and Gwen laugh]
 * Gwen: [Confessional] I know! Courtney! I never thought I'd even be able to tolerate her, but she's… deal-able. We even have stuff in common which is like, the weirdest thing ever. If I tip over the edge and start making Courtney type lists, rack me.
 * Courtney: [Confessional] I know. Gwen. She's not completely a social freak after all. Sometimes she's even a good person to have on your team. Sometimes. You know, I wouldn't mind going against her in the final two. Obviously, I'd still win. She's incapable of making a list.


 * Courtney: Heather!
 * Heather: (standing up and stretching her back) Please, I'm fine. (Gwen and Courtney giggle) At least, tell me I look taller.
 * Courtney: Oh, yes. You can be a runway model.
 * Gwen: That's a stretch!


 * [Courtney and Gwen go to Whitechapel.]
 * Gwen: I guess we forgot that most of Whitechapel is closed!
 * Courtney: And the only place open would by a grungy punk club!
 * Gwen: I guess my hunch sucks! Sorry! We are so coming in last place!
 * Courtney: I don't wanna go back empty handed! We should fill the bag with something!
 * Voice:
 * Courtney: [gasps].
 * Gwen: Holy Schnitzel! Is that?


 * [Courtney, Gwen, Owen and Noah returned to the plane.]
 * Owen: Aww, Sweet! Everybody's okay?
 * Heather: Yep! Everyone's fine! You guys were so stupid to be worried.
 * Alejandro: But it was reassuring to see some were concerned. [glares at Noah]
 * Noah: You were watching everything? Wow, that's awkward.
 * Alejandro: Like an eel dipped in grease.
 * Noah: Where I'm from, that's a compliment! Tough neighborhood! [Alejandro just rolls his eyes in disgust] But hey, we caught the Ripper-type guy! [Owen releases him]
 * All: [gasps] Old man Jenkins?! [Chris reveals Jack the Ripper's true identity as everyone gasp] Ezekiel?!
 * [Ezekiel growls]
 * Chef: Found him living in the cargo hold, homeschooling with the rats.
 * Chris: I was gonna let him back in the game if he could avoid getting captured, but since he could not... [snaps fingers]
 * Ezekiel: Ah, oh-AAAAHHHH! [Chef throws Ezekiel out of the plane]
 * Heather: So who did Courtney and Gwen catch?
 * Gwen: Well, Chris wanted a criminal, so, okay, we didn't catch the right one, but... [removes bag]
 * All: [gasps except Gwen and Courtney] Duncan?!
 * [Duncan returns to the game after he was found by Gwen and Courtney]
 * Duncan: You brought me back here?! Ugh! Where's the stupid exit again?
 * Chris: Not so fast, quiter! Thought you could skip out on the game, eh. Thought I wouldn't find out!
 * Gwen: Umm. You didn't! We did! Sorry!
 * Chris: And that's why Team Amazon wins today's competish.
 * Team Amazon: YES!!
 * Noah and Owen: WHAT?!
 * Chris: Head on back to the elimination room, dudes! 1st class goes to the ladies! And as a consolation prize, the D-Man's on your team. But, someone else is gonna have to go!
 * Noah and Owen: Uh Oh!


 * Courtney: And how could you think it was okay to just leave like that?! Because it was not! Ugh. Abandon me again and it will not be pretty. Now, get over here you big lug. [Hugs Duncan as Gwen came out] I'm not really mad. I just missed you.
 * Duncan: Every time I ran from the cops, I thought of you.


 * [Noah got eliminated because Alejandro discovered that Noah had recognized that he was an untrustworthy person. Not wanting to be threatened by him, he convinced Tyler and Duncan to vote with him against Noah.]
 * Chris: And with 3 votes against him, Noah! It's time to say, Tally-Ho! Pip, Pip, Cheerio! Toodle-loo!
 * Noah: Fine! If I jump, will you stop?
 * Owen: Goodbye, buddy! I'll win for you!
 * Noah: Whatev! Just beware of eels! [Jumps out of the plane, screaming].


 * Gwen: [confessional] I don't know how everybody else can sleep. Especially Courtney. I'm still buzzy, like I drank too much coffee, you know? Because we won, and Duncan's back, and he missed...us. [Duncan walks in] Oh my gosh, I didn't lock the door?
 * Duncan: The lock's busted. What happened to your paw?
 * Gwen: This is so stupid, but I have no idea, and I'm so glad you're here to mock me about it.
 * Duncan: Me too.
 * Gwen: Ow. Hey.
 * [Duncan and Gwen kiss. Tyler watches them kiss in shock]


 * [Exclusive clip: Noah's Drop of Shame]
 * Noah: Okay, I guess I should've seen that coming! Clearly, Ale-drago was threatened by my superior mental agility. I'd be flattered if I wasn't hurtling towards the earth in a budget parachute! Thanks again for that, Chris! [grunts] At least I'm finally free of that slimy eel! Ugh, okay, that wasn't so bad! Eels?! [screams after he lands in the water]

Greece's Pieces [3.14]

 * Gwen: [confessional] Ugh, what am I doing? The moment I finally became friend-ish with Courtney, I kissed her boyfriend! I'm a horrible person! If it happens again, I'll tell her. Oh, is it wrong that I really, really want it to happen again? Ugh! Horrible person!
 * Courtney: [confessional] It's so nice to have a girl to talk to. Especially now that Duncan's back. Gwen probably still has a crush on him, who wouldn't? But she also likes her teeth. A lot. [outside] Could you imagine if you, me, and Duncan end up in the final three?


 * Owen: [snoring] Noah! Don't eat the poison stuff, it's poisonous! Ah! [screams pants, waking up] Oh... was I talking in my sleep? [chuckles nervously] Sorry. I'll just... go away. [confessional] Tyler and Al are super tight now, after all that time they spent stuck on the plane in London. They even voted Noah off. Noah! Oh, I miss the pitter patter of his tiny feet. Aw... and now, I think I might be next.
 * Alejandro: Something wrong, Tyler? If you tell me, maybe I can help.
 * Tyler: I saw something.
 * Duncan: Ah. Oh, wow, that was a deep sleep. Sleep of the dead. [chuckles] You know what I mean, Tyler? Dead. [confessional] Tyler saw me and Gwen kissing, and now he's all freaked out. But I think he knows better than to talk about it. He better know better!
 * Tyler: [confessional] I'm bad with secrets.
 * Alejandro: [confessional] Duncan and Tyler. I must figure out what's going on there and use it.


 * Chris: And we're heading to the birthplace of the Olympics right now in...
 * Courtney: Greece!
 * Sierra: Atlantis!
 * Owen: Mount Olympics!
 * Chris: Wrong, fictional, and... what?! We're heading to Rome, Italy!
 * Owen: Pizza Party!
 * Alejandro: But Courtney was correct. The Olympics originated in Greece.
 * Chris: No! They originated in...
 * Gwen: Greece! They're right!
 * [Chris quickly looks over his papers and finally realized he was given inaccurate information]
 * Chris: INTERNS! [2 interns appear, one looking visibly nervous] Everyone should probably hang on to something. Everyone except you. [pan to the plane as it tips to the right and the nervous intern gets thrown out, audibly screaming; to the other intern] YOU might wanna find some info on Greece. Quickly.


 * Chris: Welcome to the Acropolis in Athens, Greece, home to many of the very first Olympians, who, as my intern has informed me, competed naked.
 * Owen: [exhausted, "did this before" sigh] Alright, time to drop the laundry. [Without hesitation, he immediately unzips his pants, a censor bar thankfully covering his business- but not covering it from the fellow contestants, who immediately recoil in shock and disgust]
 * Chris: No no no, that was just a quirky fact, not an order. There's no need to be 100% accurate. Stay dressed. Very dressed. We only have to resort to nudity if there's a tiebreaker.


 * Courtney: As the strongest Amazon, I volunteer.
 * Cody: I'm pretty sure I'm the strongest.
 * Courtney: (Laughs) As I was saying...
 * Sierra: That's it! I volunteer to fight Courtney!


 * Courtney: You sounded really concerned there.
 * Gwen: Well, I...I know how you feel.
 * Courtney: You know how I feel? Like you get it, or like you feel the same way?


 * Chris: [After Courtney and Sierra collapsed due to the lack of oxygen] That's two gold for Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot!
 * Courtney: 2?!
 * Chris: Hey! It was supposed to be a 1 on 1 challenge, but, you guys turned it into a team event.
 * Owen: Whoo-Hoo!
 * Chris: In a world where Owen can win an Olympic gold medal. Do the Amazons really stand a chance?


 * Alejandro: Yes. Too close. Someone needs a distraction to slow them down. Time to pay back that favor. Please tell Courtney what you know about Duncan and Gwen.
 * (Courtney gasped in shock and glares at Gwen)
 * Chris: On your marks!
 * Alejandro: Now!
 * Tyler: I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss! [Sighs]
 * Courtney: [horrified shock] WHAT?!
 * Tyler: Oh, that's a load off!
 * Alejandro: He said he saw... (Courtney growls in rage at Gwen)
 * Chris: Get set!
 * Courtney: [Yelling in rage to Gwen as Sierra grabs on to her] How could you?! I thought we were friend-ish! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!
 * Chris: Go!
 * [Tyler grunting as he flapping those wings]
 * Cody: [shocked that Gwen and Duncan kissed] Duncan? Duncan?!
 * Duncan: You called? [laughs] Nice bikini! [Cody punches Duncan, follow by Chef whipping Duncan with the towel]
 * Chef Hatchet: Sing it!
 * Sierra: Fly, Cody! Fly!
 * Courtney: Cody, stay where you are!
 * Sierra: But we'll lose! [looks at Gwen and glares at her] Oh. Cody, stay where you are!
 * Courtney: (to Gwen) You... are so... E-LIM-IN-A-TED! [Gwen tears up]
 * Heather: She's got my vote.
 * Sierra: Agreed.
 * [wings flapping]
 * Cody: [panting as he flapping those wings] (confessional) I'll do anything for Gwen. She has to kiss me eventually!
 * [Cody and Tyler panting]
 * Alejandro: Their wings are molting!
 * Owen: Maybe it's seasonal.
 * Gwen: Come on Cody.
 * Courtney: You don't get to cheer!


 * Chris: Amazons win! And the losers are heading back to the elimination room. For the 2nd time in a row.
 * Gwen: Yes! (Courtney smacks her)


 * Cody: [flexing his fingers] Oh, wow. I had no idea punching could hurt the fist, too.
 * Sierra: You knocked out Duncan! [squeals] OMG! Your fans are gonna lose it! [squeals] Like this, like this! [squealing]
 * (They hear Courtney crying while Heather consoles her)
 * Gwen: [Confessional] The kiss was great. Really great. But was it worth it? I'm certainly not gonna last much longer. And Duncan's probably getting eliminated right now. [gasps and runs out to the elimination ceremony]
 * [Meanwhile, Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot casted their votes.]


 * [Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot tries to vote Duncan off but Chris reveals it was a fake elimination]
 * Chris: Your choice is pretty clear, but today, the final choice is mine, and the Drop of Shame will be taken by... [Gwen gasps as Alejandro whispers to Tyler] THIS INTERN!
 * [the intern immediately gives an "oh, crap" look as Chris pushes him off the plane, Duncan looks at the rest of his team victoriously and laughs]

The EX-Files [3.15]

 * Heather: What a beautiful day it is. Mmm. What is that delicious smell? Oh, I know, it's... [Confessional] Tension! And it has nothing to do with me. I have never felt so safe. [smugly] Thanks, Gwen.
 * Courtney: [Confessional; screaming in rage] Gwen is going down! I can't believe I ever trusted that sun-fearing, emo-loving liar! Well at least I broke with Duncan on MY terms. Ha, it was totally empowering. [cries while throwing a tantrum] You, stupid jerkface!
 * Duncan: Look, I'm sorry.
 * Courtney: [kicks Duncan in the groin; Confessional] At least I still have my... pride. [unable to bottle up her feelings and... she starts crying]


 * Alejandro: [confessional] My uncle Julio is a hypnotist. Manipulating runs in the family, and that wasn't the only post-hypnotic suggestion I gave Owen. [chuckles]


 * Heather: Cody, get your clammy hands off my leg.
 * Cody: I'm not touching your leg.
 * [A lizard chased Team Amazon until it got blasted into the atmosphere]
 * Heather: Since when did lizards fly?
 * Gwen: Everyone, freeze. We're on a minefield.
 * Sierra: Way to lead, New Heather.
 * Gwen: [Confessional] New Heather?!


 * Gwen: What are we gonna do?
 * Courtney: Why don't you make out with the minefield's boyfriend?
 * Heather: We're wasting time! Somebody do something!


 * Tyler: I don't think they stole your memory, Owen.
 * Owen: Oh, but they did, Tyler! I can't even remember your name, or Duncan's name or Al's name or Chris or the Total Drama plane or Mom's cheese cellar back home, or any of us! Oh, wait a minute...I think I'm good. Oh, how you doing, Al? Al? Al? Al?
 * Alejandro: 3, 2, 1 and Revenge! [snaps his finger]
 * Owen: [Pulls his undies over his head] singing Take me out to the baaaallgame, take me out to the crooowwwd, buy me some peanuts and Crack-ers Jacks, I do not care if I never come baaaaack!
 * Duncan: [Confessional, laughing] The Running Man?! Alejandro is alright!


 * Heather: [Confessional] Izzy, you have been replaced.


 * [Tyler got eliminated because he cost his team the challenge by accidentally destroying the alien artifact that they were supposed to hold on to. Duncan was also angry with him for telling everyone about his kiss with Gwen.]
 * Chris: [At the elimination ceremony] Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot! Not a lot of teamwork going on tonight. Owen, wasting time on a new hairdo. Not cool! Duncan, making deals before helping your teammates. [Gwen secretly comes out] That's low! Tyler…
 * Tyler: Is stout that Duncan's out-ie!
 * Chris: No, Tyler! You're out-ie!
 * Tyler: What?!
 * Courtney: What?! [comes out] You're cutting Tyler instead of Duncan. Ugh! What's wrong with you?!
 * Tyler: Is there gonna be a re-vote? [Courtney throws him out of the plane, screaming]
 * Courtney: That's it! No more Mrs. Nice Guy! People are gonna pay! Two people!


 * [Exclusive clip: Tyler's Drop of Shame]
 * Tyler: Going home early stinks! But on the bonus side, I'll get to see Lindsay! Hey, babe, remember me?! I hope! All in all, my best season yet! Woo-hoo! My name is Ty—! [screams] Oh, yeah? It's gonna take more than one of you to stop me... Yup, that ought to do it. [screams]

Picnic At Hanging Dork [3.16]

 * Courtney: [Confessional] I am so ready to push Gwen out the door at 30,000 feet! Ugh, we have got to lose the next challenge! Sierra will vote with me, but it'll take three votes to do the job right! For some reason, Cody still can't see the evil seeping from Gwen's poorly-moisturized skin. So that leaves… [sighs heavily] Heather.


 * Heather: [Confessional; with her fingers double crossed] Of course my fingers were crossed. It's one of the advantages of making deals in the dark.


 * Cody: [Confessional] All I have to do is make sure we keep winning until Duncan gets booted. Then, maybe Courtney will drop her Gwen vendetta, and my new alliance can get rid of Sierra.
 * Sierra: [knocking on the door from outside] Cody? Are you okay in there? [gasps] Did you fall in?!
 * Cody: That only happened once!
 * [The Amazon team laughs]


 * Owen: Act like you're crushing on Heather, and she'll go home, same as Bridgette and Leshawna!
 * Duncan: Bridgette and Leshawna? I thought I was the only guy who snagged double gold in the Babe Olympics.
 * Alejandro: Uh...yes. I was truly fond of both. Sadly, the fates were against us. I suppose I could attempt a false seduction, but it goes against the gentleman's code.
 * Duncan: There's a code for that crud?
 * Alejandro: And if I seduce Heather, Courtney will remain unaffected. If only we could weaken both at once.
 * Duncan: Easy. Heather's kind of into you, right? So, seduce Courtney.


 * Duncan: Hey, Pipsqueak! [he heads for Cody, then, he stops near a kangaroo and Cody turns his emu around.] Here comes the pain! [tries punching Cody, but, ducks]
 * Cody: You don't know the half of it!


 * Heather: [Confessional] Al and Courtney? No chance. [suspicious] He's up to something.


 * Alejandro: I've been thinking about the future.
 * Courtney: You have?
 * Alejandro: Yes. Tomorrow, and the day after, and even the day after that.
 * Courtney: I'm aware of what the future means.
 * Alejandro: Not when it comes to me.


 * Heather: [Confessional] Next time the Amazons lose, Courtney is gone. And not for making goo goo eyes at Alejandro as if I care about that. You saw the way she was writing her emu. She is purposely trying to lose, again!


 * Alejandro: [as they find their team logo on the sheep] Victory at last! Behold!
 * Chris: Team I'm-Totally-Smoking-Hot wins!
 * Duncan: [Courtney makes a cutthroat, meaning that Team Amazon is gonna eliminate Gwen] Aww, crud.


 * Chris: [reviewing the votes] Okay, one vote for Courtney. One for Gwen. A second for Courtney. A second for Gwen. And the last vote's for… Sierra! It's a tie!
 * Amazons: No!
 * Cody: [shaking Sierra, mistaking her for Gwen] It was an accident, Gwen, I swear!
 * [Sierra starts crying]


 * [After Gwen and Courtney tied for the most votes, they went into a tiebreaker challenge, and Gwen lost the challenge due to her being allergic to eucalyptus.]
 * Courtney: Yes, I win!
 * Chris: Gwen, 11:00. Exit's right behind you.
 * Gwen: Suck it Courtney! In your- [falls out the plane screaming] faaaaaaaaace!
 * Courtney: Yes!


 * [Exclusive clip: Gwen's Drop of Shame]
 * Gwen: No fair! Come on, elimination by allergies? Not cool. The next time I see Courtney, I'm gonna [muffled] my tongue! [grunts] Wait, now what? Hello? Who's there? Uh, hey kangaroo. Ow! [a kangaroo kicks her]

Sweden Sour [3.17]

 * Courtney: [Giggling] I bet you say that to every pretty competitor.
 * Alejandro: Ah, but you are the only pretty competitor here.


 * Heather: [confessional; annoyed] Ugh! Back in loser class, again, thanks to Courtney! She should be home right now, not flirting with Alejandro. She's just trying mess with me, and him, fawning all over-- [gags] Courtney.


 * Courtney: Okay, let's hear it.
 * Duncan: Hear what?
 * Courtney: Your apology.
 * Duncan: For...
 * Courtney: For what?! For Gwen!
 * [Cody sighs]
 * Duncan: For who?
 * Courtney: For Gwen! [Cody sighs again. Courtney huffs, and Cody sighs again] Stop breathing so loud!
 * Alejandro: [pushes Cody aside] May I offer my Latin warmth? Let's make Duncan crazy!
 * Courtney: Thanks, Ale-hunk-dro!


 * Owen: I wish I had some barbecue sauce, cause this looks like a whale rib!
 * Alejandro: Owen, you incredibly stupid genius!


 * Alejandro: I offer Courtney a cookie and some advice that my mom gave me.


 * Duncan: [Confessional] I don't trust Alejandro. I don't like Alejandro. But letting him know that doesn't get me anything. So I'll keep it buddy-buddy, and while he works on Courtney, I'll work on Owen.


 * [After Cody builds Team Amazon their boat that looked like Gwen's face]
 * Heather: [lividly] That's what you made us build?! [screams and begins to attack Cody with a sledgehammer but Sierra whacks her with a wrench]
 * Sierra: En guard! That's french for, "Leave my boyfriend alone!!"
 * Heather: [growls furiously and charges at Sierra and they both start fighting] Get down here and DIE like a man!


 * [The teams are building boats]
 * Duncan: [groaning] Why am I the only one pushing?
 * [Owen's stomach gurgles violently, as it cuts to him in the bathroom confessional]
 * Owen: How long can you hold in a fart before it becomes dangerous? One time, I tried to hold a fart in all day at school, and when it came out it ripped my pants off!
 * [cuts back to Sweden, where Owen's stomach gurgles violently again]
 * Duncan: Dude, are you about to fart?
 * Owen: CAN'T... HOLD IT... ANY LONGER!!!!
 * Duncan: Oh, man, I think he's gonna blow!
 * [Owen slides around on the ice until falling and releasing a giant fart that is loud enough to echo across the entire set, briefly shakes the very earth, and starts cracking and melting the ice]
 * Chris: THE ICE IS CRACKING! Will Owen's poor digestion finally kill us all? Stick around to find out on Total Drama World Tour! EVERY HOST FOR HIMSELF!


 * Heather: Okay, what is your problem?
 * Alejandro: Surely I do not have to explain it to you. We are in a competition.
 * Heather: Oh, sure. So picking off my teammates while you totally blank me is strategy now?
 * Alejandro: Indeed it is. When dealing with jealousy-
 * Heather: I am not jealous, you arrogant-
 * Alejandro: Of course I refer to Courtney. I must make her believe no one else exists for me. If she is focused on us, you can blind-side her. Believe me, Heather, the only woman I want to look at is you.


 * [at elimination ceremony]
 * Heather: Bye bye, Courtney.
 * Chris: Ah, the elimination room. This is where one of you will be tossed into the darkness to plummet out of my life and possibly to the end of your own. And if this weren't a reward challenge, that would happen tonight. Psych! No vote tonight! You're all safe! For now.
 * Courtney: Yes!
 * Heather: Oh, come on!
 * Sierra: No fair!

Aftermath Aftermayhem [3.18]

 * Blaineley: It's time for another installment of...say it with me...That's Gonna Leave A Mark! [awkward silence] Would it kill you to play along with me?


 * Leshawna: A Chris-In-The-Box? That's an insult to boxes!


 * Geoff: What does he want?
 * Blaineley: Is he hot? Like pole hot?
 * Geoff: That's not important right now! Is he? No, stay on point! There's gotta be a way to get Bridge back!
 * Blaineley's biggest fan: [off-screen, Russian accent] Boyfriend and Drama Brothers sing traditional Russian song of Blaineley.
 * Blaineley: Awww! Tell my super fan that I think he's super fantastic!
 * Geoff: Brothers?! Are you with me? [Harold, Justin and Trent give a thumbs up]
 * Blaineley: This oughta be a fate-sealer!


 * Geoff: My mom always said, if you can fart and burp at the same time, you have no soul.


 * [Trent went to sit with Gwen, after helping wheel an injured Tyler and he rolled the dice on the Greece square and fell down a booby trap door]
 * Gwen: Impressive nursing! Remind me to not get sick around you!
 * [Both Trent and Gwen laughed]


 * [Beth is given the challenge of making up a haiku about Heather that highlights a positive attribute]
 * Blaineley: In 10 seconds or less, starting now!
 * Beth: Um...Heather has 10 toes...
 * Blaineley: True, but not very positive.
 * Beth: Webbed feet for summer swimming...she's fast in water!


 * Blaineley: What's the name of Duncan's London-based punk band. C'mon, Beth! It's easy!
 * Beth: Stop pressuring me! I'm thinking! Can I get a hint?
 * Blaineley: C'mon, Beth! Just say it's Der Schnitzel Kickers! Der Schnitzel Kickers is the answer! [the bell dings, and confetti and balloons rain down] Wait. What?!
 * Geoff: Yes! Congratulations, Blaineley! First one to answer correctly gets a one way ticket to the Total Drama Plane. Remember?
 * Blaineley: Me?! Out there! With those-those-those losers?! Forget it! No one can make me go! No one! [notices 3 interns with bats, ropes and sacks] Except maybe them! [runs away with the interns chasing and beating her up and wrapping her in the sack]
 * Geoff: And that's our show! My girl won't be back for a while. But, neither would Blaineley! Yeah!

Niagara Brawls [3.19]

 * [Owen screams and wakes up from his nightmare and everyone was seen falling]
 * Owen: Wake Up, guys!
 * Courtney: Huh?
 * [Everyone screams as they fall, accompanied by two swan boats.]
 * Chris: Hey, kids! You better get in to your paddle boats!
 * [The contestants grab hold of the swan boats and they hit the water with a big splash, Chris cringes in pain. The contestants come up all soaked and wet]


 * Courtney: If you let us live, I'll tutor any brain-dead person that requires it, even Duncan!
 * Duncan: If we live, I'll forget she ever said that!
 * Cody: If we live, I'll let Sierra kiss me. [Everyone stares at him] What? Like we're gonna make it.
 * Sierra: [Gasps] I..want...my...KISS!


 * Sierra: Don't worry, Cody. I will restore your breathing and save your life.
 * Cody: My breathing is just- [Sierra pins him down, kissing him] Okay, now I can't breathe!


 * Chris: [about Blaineley] She's 200 pounds of sassy in a 90 pound package and she's wearing 12 pounds of mascara! [the girls glare while the boys seem excited] It's... Blaineley!


 * Blaineley: [debuts in the competition, and the teams merged] Oh, whatevers. So, which one of these lame teams am I on anyway?
 * Chris: You're on your own, because as of right now, there are no more teams!
 * Courtney and Heather: [cheerfully] Yes!
 * Alejandro: [while shaking hands with Owen and Duncan] Well gentlemen, it's been an honor. I trust our brotherhood can continue in some manner?
 * Duncan: Of course, man!
 * Owen: Oh, sure! We're buddies all the way to the end. [elbowing Duncan] Right, Dunc?


 * Sierra: [running up to the slot machine] Mama needs a new pair of Cody! [pulls the lever and gasps when the slots land on Alejandro] No! [Sierra slams the door shut Alejandro's arm]
 * Alejandro: [stuck inside the machine] Ow!! ¡Por favor! I'm stuck!
 * Chris: Sierra, you've won...
 * Sierra: [angrily grabs Chris' shirt] THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!
 * Heather: [as she is helping up Alejandro] I better take him. She won't stop unless somebody does.
 * Blaineley: Why do you get to take him?
 * Courtney: No kidding! What's up with that?
 * Sierra: Yep. Heather. Good enough for me.
 * [Courtney growls after Heather and Alejandro walk by]
 * Courtney: [Confessional, writing a notepad] "Eliminated Duncan from game" is now number two one my to-do list. Welcome to number one, Heather!


 * Blaineley: [Confessional] What kind of TV show doesn't have a makeup department? This cast needs to get some gumption, and some agents.


 * Alejandro: Ready, Mrs. Alejandro?
 * Heather: Only if you are, Mr. Heather.


 * Heather: Do not underestimate Courtney, she is smart. Okay? She really annoys me but ignore that part. She should still go next.
 * Alejandro: I can control her, she does not get my vote. We are going against Owen.
 * Heather: But I want her gone! Gone! Gone!
 * [Alejandro and Heather stumble and fall off the rope]
 * Alejandro: [confessional after falling off the rope with Heather] Of course I fell on purpose. I am a gifted balancer, but it would be unwise to appear too strong right now, with the teams just dissolved. I don't require immunity, thanks to my alliances with Heather, Owen, and Duncan. So I lay in wait like a crocodilo; a devilishly handsome crocodilo.


 * [Sierra and Cody walk up to Blaineley and Owen]
 * Blaineley: Move it, love birds!
 * Sierra: But I'm carrying precious cargo. You should be the one to move it!
 * Blaineley: Are you saying I'm not precious? Because, oh yes I am!
 * Owen: Blaineley, would you like to calm down? Maybe we can find you some more cake.
 * Blaineley: Oh, zip it! Less talk, more walk.
 * Sierra: Cody, do you think Blaineley is a nasty, nasty person?
 * Cody: [as Blaineley has her hands close to his face] No! Not the face!
 * Sierra: Now you upset him! BACK OFF! [grabs Blaineley's hair]
 * Blaineley: Ow! My hair extenstion!
 * Owen: [when Sierra kicked his leg] Ow! My hollow leg!
 * [Owen, Blaineley, Sierra, and Cody scream as they fall off the rope and Duncan and Courtney walked across together.]


 * Courtney: [Confessional, writing a notepad] Ok, so "Eliminating Heather" is now number 1, 2, 3, and 5 of my top 5 goals. Ripping out Duncan's eyebrow ring is number 4.


 * Chris: [claps] Congrats, you guys. You'll be traveling together in 1st class. And you've both won invincibility. Which means... you can't vote for each other. A sick twist.
 * Courtney: I want a divorce!
 * Duncan: Oh, really?! 'Cause I wanna stay married to your sunshiney self forever!
 * Sierra: Help us!
 * Alejandro: Go, Owen!
 * [The other contestants ride Owen as he swam away from the sharks.]


 * Sierra: [Confessional, still wearing her wedding dress from the challenge] I've been waiting two seasons for this day. And now, it's ruined! I had something old: Chris! Something new: my wedding dress. And something borrowed: Cody's toothbrush. And now I've got something blue: me! Why couldn't he just say it, huh? Do you, Cody, take Sierra to be your wife forever and ever and ever?!
 * [Cody and Alejandro are standing next to each other just outside the bathroom, with Cody desperately needing to use the bathroom]
 * Cody: Ooh. Listening to the falls all day, really makes you have to go.
 * Alejandro: Hmm.
 * Sierra: [walks out of the bathroom still wearing her wedding dress from the challenge] Oh, sorry. Do you desperately have to go?
 * Cody: Uh, yeah, I do.
 * Sierra: You do? Y-you really, really do? [gasps, kisses Cody, and hugs him uncomfortably] It's official! That kiss just consummated our marriage! No chance of annulment now. And I don't believe in divorce? So, it's looking like "death do us part"!
 * Cody: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That wasn't a real wedding. Was it?
 * Alejandro: May I offer my congratulations to the new couple. As the only witness, I must make it offical.
 * Sierra: Oh my gosh! I almost forgot about the witness part.
 * Alejandro: [laughs] Yes, you did. But I will help you. And there's just one small thing I need from you, as it were.


 * [Alejandro convinced Duncan, Heather, and Sierra to vote off Owen due to his popularity with both the contestants and the audience]
 * Chris: 2 votes for Heather.
 * Heather: What?! Did Courtney vote twice?
 * Chris: 2 votes for Sierra.
 * Sierra: I’m sorry! But, my name is Sierra-Cody now! It’s hyphenated.
 * Chris: And 4 votes... for... Owen!
 * Owen: What? Me?
 * [Alejandro flashes a satisfied evil grin on his face, now that Owen is eliminated.]
 * Chris: Owen, the gang has spoken. [hands Owen a parachute]
 * Owen: Oh, okay. Well... I'll miss you, guys.
 * Duncan: Smell ya later, man.
 * Alejandro: I'm weeping, on the inside.
 * Owen: You can't do it on the outside, Al? Just a little? I'd like that. Al? [Alejandro's eye and mouth starts twitching] Al? Al? Al?
 * Blaineley: [sobbing] I'll miss you most of all! Chubby Hubby! [continues sobbing, then stops] Was that good? [to Alejandro] Think the audience will like me for that?
 * [Owen takes the Drop of Shame, but gets stuck]
 * Owen: [laughs] Oops. Little help?
 * [Alejandro, irritated, gets up and kicks Owen off the plane, only to get farted on by Owen]


 * [Exclusive clip: Owen's Drop of Shame]
 * Owen: I can't believe I got eliminated. I will miss this plane but not the food they served there. Oh, I would eat a triple cheese pizza, multi-flavored ice cream, marshmallows with ketchup, microwave hot-dogs, deep fried dumplings, [...], bananas wrapped in bacon, peanut butter and cheese sandwiches... Grilled chicken...? [lands on the table with the sharks]

Chinese Fake-Out [3.20]

 * Heather: Stop breathing down my neck or get a mint already!
 * Blaineley: HY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-AH!!! [violently smacks Heather in the face]


 * Alejandro: Courtney is in need of some aid!
 * Duncan: Oh, you wanna watch her squirm for awhile? Cool!


 * Heather: [running so fast wearing wooden sandals] Whoa! Can't stop no traction! [crashes into the gong; points to the sandals] Those shoes are a war crime!
 * Chris: You didn't have to wear them.


 * Chef Hatchet: If she's a size 0, then I'm the Emperor of China!


 * Duncan: [while Chris is on the phone] If it's Courtney, tell her she's a loser!
 * Courtney: [walks in sight, very angry, and her hair is messed up and black spots on her] Ahem!
 * Alejandro: Courtney! I am filled with relief.
 * Courtney: Oh yeah? Well, I am filled with rage. Do you know where I landed? In a pigpen! Do you know how thoroughly I got snouted? It's a good thing I have a very strong stomach.
 * Alejandro: Ah. Good to hear.


 * Chris: Okay! You have to eat each bowl of delish food, opening your mouth to prove it went down. If you're last to finish or you puke, you go sit with Courtney on the loser bench.
 * Courtney: I am a CIT, I am not a loser!
 * [Chef brings in the first food. Chef gives a nod to Blaineley.]
 * Blaineley: Looks simply scrumptious, Chef!
 * Cody: What is it?
 * [The music bell chimes]
 * Chris: Allow me to begin today's number!


 * Cody: Is it roasted eel?
 * Chris: It's donkey meat! Local delicacy!
 * Heather: Gross!
 * Duncan: Ugh.
 * Cody: Ace! Where are you? Fart if you can hear me!
 * Blaineley: Mmm. Delicious!
 * Alejandro: Dropped something.
 * Sierra: Done!
 * Heather: Done!
 * Duncan: It's a bacon double cheeseburger! Bacon double cheeseburger.
 * Heather: Hurry, Cody!
 * Cody: I can't eat Ace!
 * Duncan: Done!
 * Chris: Cody, you're out! Loser bench!
 * [Cody groans sadly]


 * Heather: It's still moving it's feet. It's hundreds and hundreds of disgusting little feet!
 * Chris: Live mealworms! Local delicacy!
 * Heather: Ugh.
 * Blaineley: Wow, Chef! Five stars! Mmm!
 * Heather: [mouthful] Seriously! You're enjoying this?
 * Blaineley: [shrugs] Done!
 * Alejandro: Oops! My hair-tie fell.
 * Duncan: Done!
 * Sierra: Done!
 * Chris: Heather, you're out! Loser bench!
 * [Heather angrily pukes on Chris' face]


 * Duncan: (Sings) I think I'm nearly done for!
 * Chris: Starfish on a skewer! Local delicacy!
 * [Blaineley finishes and winks at Chef and Chris gave him a suspicious look]
 * Alejandro: I don't know why I'm having such hair-tie problems today.
 * Duncan: Bacon! Bacon!
 * Sierra: Done!
 * Chris: Duncan, you're out! Loser bench!
 * Duncan: [spits out the piece of the starfish and sits at the loser bench, seeing Courtney chewing] You're having a snack while you watch this? You are sick.


 * Heather: [interrupting the song] Wait, stop! Why does Blaineley's food look so much better?
 * Blaineley: [defensively] It's exactly the same!
 * Chris: [answers his phone as it rings] Listen, man!
 * Heather: And why does Alejandro keep bending over while he's eating?!
 * Duncan: I got a better question. Why does ol' Courtney keep chewing her cud back here?
 * Courtney: I do not!
 * Alejandro: You have a little something…
 * [Courtney slurps up a green drool hanging from her mouth]
 * Heather: Chris, what are you going to do about all this crazy cheating?
 * Chris: Yeah, okay. Budget, blah blah blah. What am I supposed to do?
 * Heather: Get off the phone and host the flipping show! Alejandro is slipping his food back to Courtney, and someone is giving Blaineley actual food instead of gross-osity.
 * Alejandro: It is a lie!
 * Courtney: So not true!
 * Blaineley: Get over it!
 * Chef Hatchet: I'm so ashamed.
 * Chris: Listen, we gotta wrap this up. So, here's the dealio. One last round, whoever wins has invincibility in tonight's vote and they get to take the person of their choice up to first class with them.
 * [Sierra gasps and claps, excitedly upon hearing this]
 * Heather: At least switch Blaineley's bowl to prove she's not cheating, and move Courtney away from Alejandro.
 * Chris: Fine. Blaineley, trade bowls with Sierra. [Sierra swaps bowls with Blaineley, much to Blaineley's dismay] Courtney, put this on to prove you can keep your mouth shut. [tosses Courtney a lion dancer's mask]
 * Courtney: [annoyingly puts on the mask] This is ridiculous.
 * Chris: Let's get this done.


 * [Alejandro and Blaineley puke, giving Sierra the win]
 * Sierra: (Sings) Cody's in first class with me! And my love me tea!


 * [the voting tied between Courtney and Blaineley, so Chris decided to eliminate both of them because of budget issues]
 * Chris: [looking at the votes] Blaineley, Courtney, Blaineley, Courtney, Sierra-ly, Blaineley and the final vote goes to… Courtney. It's a tie!
 * Courtney: Yes! Prepare to go down, Blaineley! I am excellent in a tiebreaker situation.
 * Chris: [his phone rings] The producers' breathing down my neck and I'm getting a lot of flak on this budget stuff. So, I was thinking, why don't you both take off.
 * Both: What?! [Chris gave both Courtney and Blaineley parachutes]
 * Courtney: How is getting rid of me going to save money?!
 * Chris: Weight on the plane, food budget. I don't know. You're just both really annoying me.
 * Courtney: Prepare to hear from my lawyers, and Duncan, prepare for a Personal Defamation Lawsuit while I'm at it.
 * Duncan: Buh-Bye!
 * Blaineley: Not so fast! I had some things to say first! Ezekiel, he's still hiding in the hold. Sierra, Cody has been voting for you every single time. Get a clue! Heather and Alejandro, just give it up and make out already!
 * Heather: Can you get her out of here?
 * Chris: I don't know. This part's kind of fun!
 * Blaineley: [last words] Oh. You wanna hear something really fun? They wanted me to host the show. You only got the job, because I said no and…
 * [An annoyed Chris pushes Blaineley and Courtney off the plane, screaming as everyone else was quiet]
 * Cody: Boy! Has it gotten quiet in here or is it just me!


 * [Exclusive clip: Courtney's Drop of Shame]
 * Courtney: How can you not have a tiebreaker for a tie? [sigh] Seriously, I mean, what more proof do you need that the show is fixed?! Well, the least I [unintelligible] Blaineley, and Duncan goth kisser. Getting away from him almost worth this indignity. [screams, crashes into a Chinese woman's ceiling] Hi, do you speak English? Um, Man-man-chi? [a Chinese woman angrily throws a hammer at her face]

African Lying Safari [3.21]

 * Duncan: Speaking of failed romance, you want me to hit the common area so you two lovebirds can start building your nest?
 * Heather and Alejandro: Yeah, right! As if! [realizing they're speaking in unison] Stop it!
 * Duncan: Blaineley was right! You two are so lame for each other.


 * Cody: [sitting up and dazed] I feel like a wet noodle in a blender. Ugh!
 * Sierra: [laying Cody back down] Don't worry. [feeds him the Love-Me Tea] This will have you up and running in no time.
 * Cody: Huh? [hallucinates that Sierra is a polar bear] Wha-ah, ah!!


 * [Due to Chef helping Blaineley last episode, he was forced to wear the penalty parka.]
 * Heather: Is Chef expecting a blizzard?
 * Chris: Behold! The penalty parka! Plus pants! Created specifically to help people sweat out their cheating ways! Lookin' hot, Chef!
 * [Chef throws a gourd and Sierra ducks and Cody takes the hit.]


 * Alejandro: [confessional] My brother Carlos is a professional soccer player.


 * Alejandro: We simply continue to act awkward around each other in front of the others, while we secretly combine-
 * Alejandro and Heather: -our powers and knock everyone else out of the ring.
 * Heather: [in reference to speaking in unison] That has to stop. But I am in on the alliance.


 * Duncan: [as a feral Ezekiel claws him and beats him up] Hey, Guys! A little help here! [Heather and Alejandro fold their arms] Seriously?!


 * Heather and Alejandro: [After the latter tranquilizes Duncan and Ezekiel, they hug each other] We did it! [realizes their hug and turned away from each other]
 * Chris: Congrats, Alejandro! You are on your way to first class!
 * Heather: I would've taken a shot, if he didn't steal all my ammo! [Alejandro shrugs it off]
 * Chris: Aww. You guys are so cute! Now, Quick! Grab Duncan and let's get the heck out of Africa, before Zeke wakes up!


 * [Duncan got eliminated for the 2nd time because Alejandro and Heather formed an alliance and both voted him off, giving him the most votes in a 2-1-1-1 vote.]
 * Chris: Mmm. Tension-y! Alrighty then! [looks at the votes] 1 vote for Heather, 1 for Alejandro, 1 for Duncan, 1 for Sierra. [Cody whistles] And the lucky loser is... Duncan!
 * Duncan: [sighs] Kind of expected that! I've could've gotten a bigger chance than this- [Gets tossed out of the plane, screaming]
 * Chris: I'm gonna miss that delinquent!


 * Heather: [Confessional; infuriated about Alejandro choosing Cody to join him in first class] That rat! I fake agree to an alliance and this is how he repays me?! He is so going down!


 * [Exclusive clip: Duncan's second Drop of Shame after being eliminated]
 * Duncan: But yes! No more singing like a Total Drama dork! No more flying around in that cluttery rust bucket, no more masochistic McLean mayhem! No more Alejandro! No more cameras in the can, no more creepy couples! Gwen, I'll see you soon! Or maybe I'll see you later. [screams]

Rapa-phooey [3.22]

 * Cody: Sierra left me alone all night!
 * Alejandro: She did try to sneak in. 7 times. But I sleep with one eye open for a reason.
 * Cody: (hugs Alejando) Oh, thank you!
 * Alejandro: Please, my friend. It was nothing. (Attempts unsuccessfully to get Cody to let go of him) Could we get up before someone sees us?


 * Heather: I do NOT need to be insulted. Or to kiss Alejandro!


 * Heather: Your boyfriend is a loser to let Alejandro cozy up to him.
 * Sierra: Husband. And if falling for Alejandro makes somebody a loser...
 * Heather: I recommend you stop there.
 * Sierra: Relax! We're the Sisterhood of the Traveling Eggs!


 * Alejandro: I do not have much of a sugar tooth and my mom told me I am sweet enough already.


 * Heather: [confessional] Sure, Sierra and I are both girls, but all that we have in common is that we both wear bras and mascara. Some of us better than others. Ultimately, Cody's a much better ally. Reason number one, he's sane!
 * Cody: [confessional] It was nice of Sierra to help me. I owe her my life. But I just caught her basket-weaving a bird's nest out of my spare undies. It has to end!


 * [Sierra got voted off with 3 votes against her, it was revealed to be a reward challenge]
 * Cody: I'm sorry!
 * Sierra: I'll wait for you! Win it for us!
 * Chris: Adorable. But you can shut off the waterworks, because you're all still in the final four! It was just a reward challenge!

Awwww, Drumheller [3.23]

 * Alejandro: Sierra? Have a moment?
 * Sierra: [scoffs] Don't even bother trying to flirt with me, okay? I'm a one Codykins girl.
 * Alejandro: Of course. However, I feel I must show you something.
 * Sierra: I don't have all day, you know. I have a secret surprise to engineer.
 * Alejandro: Your plans may change after you see this! [show her a fake picture of Heather and Cody sleeping together he made on the computer]
 * Sierra: [gasps] No! That can't be true! Where did you get that?! I'm gonna kick Heather's husband-stealing butt!
 * Alejandro: Ah, ah, ah. Patience. You must not let emotions rule your game.


 * Sierra: Glitter glue, stickers, puffy paint? Yes!
 * Heather: Did somebody say we were making grade 3 art projects? [Sierra squirts glue at Heather] Gah!! Real mature!
 * Cody: This might come in handy. [Heather grabs Cody's blank canvas] I had dibs!
 * Heather: You didn't call it until after. It doesn't count.
 * Sierra: How could you?!
 * Cody: What'd you do to her?
 * Heather: Nothing! Hello?! She's crazy!


 * Alejandro: I thought you could use a little visual reminder of what you're playing for. [Sierra gasps when he shows her the same picture of Heather and Cody sleeping and takes the picture away from him] Better? I made many copies. To help you to vent.
 * Sierra: I expect this from that lying two-faced husband stealer. But Codykins?! Aah! How could he?!
 * Alejandro: Aww. I'm sure you too will smooth things over. After you get rid of Heather, of course.
 * Sierra: Heather is about to become extinct! [cracks a bone]


 * Heather: [walks up to Sierra] Hey, Sierra! [Sierra growls] I do not know what your problem is today, but we still need to talk strategy. After all, I made the supreme sacrifice of hanging with the awful Alejandro so you and Cody can be alone.
 * Sierra: At least dinosaurs only killed people for food! You kill people for fun!
 * Heather: People weren't even around when there were dinosaurs.
 * Sierra: I don't mean actual people, okay? I mean relationships, and souls!
 * Heather: I don't even know what we're talking about here.
 * Sierra: We're talking about the fact that you're pure evil!
 * [Heather runs for her life while Sierra is about to smash her with a dinosaur bone]


 * Heather: Nice to see you working hard.
 * Alejandro: Gee, thanks. I always do.
 * Heather: Hitting on ladies and coasting on their work is hard?
 * Alejandro: Don't you have things to do?
 * Heather: Wanna borrow my killer pickaxe?
 * Alejandro: Really?
 * Heather: Hmm...you know what, it's probably against the rules. Forget it.
 * Alejandro: Goodbye, Heather.
 * Heather: I would go, but it's actually really fun seeing you scrambling in the dirt. You're not usually a last place kind of-
 * Alejandro: [angrily stands up and gives Heather an angry face] LEAVE ME ALONE!!
 * Heather: [nervously] Wow! Somebody got up on the wrong side of first class. I'm just gonna go dig now. With my axe. That I won.


 * Cody: I still feel like you're mad at me. What'd I do?
 * Sierra: I don't wanna talk about it! [she drowns out Cody's words with the post digger]
 * Cody: I already felt bad about voting for you, okay? And I guess now I realize that you must care a lot about me and I-
 * Sierra: [pulls out the photo of Cody and Heather] Must focus! Must focus!
 * Cody: Sierra, what's that? [looks up] Incoming! [he and Sierra run off as a boulder drops to the ground]


 * Cody: [finds a picture of him and Heather sleeping together Alejandro created] How could this happen?
 * Sierra: You tell me. We're supposed to be married, which means you're not supposed to be cuddling with the meanest girl on the show! Or any girl! How could you?!
 * Cody: But I didn't do it, Sierra.
 * Sierra: I'll forgive you eventually, but cheaters have to acknowledge the-
 * Cody: Wait! This is just me, and Heather, alone in loser class.
 * Sierra: Oh. Oh, gosh. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry, but...
 * Cody: No, Sierra, don't cry. That proves it's a fake. When do you ever leave me by myself?
 * Sierra: I let you go to the bathroom all the time.
 * Cody: But this isn't in the bathroom. Don't you see? There was no time that Heather and I could've been alone without you.
 * Sierra: I guess you're right.
 * Cody: Where did you get this?
 * Sierra: [gasps] Alejandro staged this!
 * Cody: He set me up!
 * Sierra: Oh. My. Gosh. He is going down! [drills the ground until a crack comes]
 * Cody: What did you hit?
 * Sierra: [gasps] It's a barrel of oil!


 * Heather: [grunts] How am I supposed to find a barrel of oil way out here in Heller? [clinks the ground] Hello, paydirt. [looks up and gasps as a boulder heads toward her and grunts] Ugh, this sucks! I'm stuck in Drumheller! Help!


 * Alejandro: You do not keep me down, Chris!
 * Heather: [offscreen] Help!
 * Alejandro: Heather? [he laughs when he sees Heather stuck]
 * Heather: Don't just stand here, get me out of here! [Alejandro looks down and sees a pool of oil] And don't even think about it, Alejandro! That barrel is mine!
 * [Then, the musical bell chimed.]
 * Chris: Guess What?!


 * Heather: Could you...put me down?
 * Alejandro: You will never never never vote for me.
 * Heather: Of course not! There's only like two votes left anyway.
 * Alejandro: Promise?
 * Heather: I promise. Now can you cut the king kong act and put me the heller down?
 * Alejandro: Ah, ah. Now you will help me dig up a barrel. We will finish this challenge together.
 * Heather: [confessional] Anyone who asks me if I liked having his hand on my shoulder will be wedged in a hole of their own. Got it? It is all strategic.
 * Alejandro: [confessional] I did not my feelings get in the way of the game. It's just that I changed my mind. Got it?! It's all strategic.


 * Heather: [Confessional] [Sierra barges in, thus startling her] If you're planning my murder, remember, we are on TV and everyone...
 * Sierra: We need to talk!


 * Cody: My dad and mom forgot my birthday last year.


 * [Alejandro was supposed to be eliminated (because he had the most votes), but Sierra got eliminated when she accidentally blew up Chris' plane when she brought out lit firecrackers on Cody's birthday cake]
 * Sierra: [interrupts Chris as he was about to read the last vote] Wait! We've been through a lot together, so I think we should do 1 last thing before anyone gets the boot. BRB! [goes into the Total Drama Jumbo Jet and gets Cody's cake with flame lit sparklers on it] Happy Birthday, Cody! I made it myself! [sparks land on spilled oil]
 * Everyone: [immediately realizing she has open flames near several drums of flammable oil] SIERRA, LOOK OUT!
 * Sierra: [completely oblivious] What?!
 * [a feral Ezekiel and other animals, sensing danger, evacuate the plane before the oil drums explode and destroy the plane, Alejandro shielding Heather from it.]
 * Cody: Sierra!
 * Chris: [anguished] MY BEAUTIFUL PLANE!! [sobs]
 * Cody: Are you okay?
 * Sierra: [completely charred black, but somehow still alive] It was chocolate... your favorite. [Heather and Alejandro rush over.]
 * Alejandro: Are you okay??
 * Sierra: Do I LOOK okay?! [her hair disintegrates]
 * Heather: Chris? Hey, Chris?!
 * Chris: [utterly furious] Oh, she's fine! Although I guess with the whole BLOWING UP MY PLANE business, SHE'S OUT OF THE GAME!!!  [with this, he personally disqualifies Sierra, despite her winning immunity]
 * Alejandro: So... the final 3, it's Cody, Heather and me?!
 * Sierra: [to Cody] Cody, you must win it for both of us.
 * Heather: [uneasily when Alejandro offers her a high five] Whoo. Yeah. [high fives Alejandro] Uh, be right back. [she toss the votes into the campfire]
 * [Alejandro picks up the passports and blows on them revealing that there was 1 vote for Cody and 3 votes for him, meaning, Heather secretly voted for him]
 * Alejandro: [frustrated] You will regret this, Heather. Oh, yes. You will regret this.
 * Chris: [sadly] Well, this was not my best day ever. Join us next time- there will be a next time. I'm just not sure what kind of show it will be, or where. It will still be called Total... Drama... [voice-breaks] World Tour. [signs off crying]

Hawaiian Style [3.24]

 * Geoff: First, I've got one more ex-contestant to add to the mix. It's the queen of pain-ley herself, Blaineley! [an Intern wheels in Blaineley, whose entire body is wrapped in bandages, on a dolly]
 * Beth: What did you do to the mean blonde person?!
 * Geoff: It wasn't me! Don't you remember when Courtney and Blaineley got booted out of the plane together in China? Get a load of what happened next in this previously unseen footage! [cuts to Blaineley falling from the sky onto a house] And boom! [the Peanut Gallery laughs at her]


 * Geoff: Look at Heather! She's like a Total Drama cockroach!
 * Duncan: I thought that was Ezekiel.


 * Harold: Only because Sierra blew up the plane and got kicked out. Otherwise, he'd have been gone!


 * Geoff: You know this is a half-hour show, right?
 * Harold: Technically, it's 22 minutes, and that includes opening and closing credits. Deer! Cody's a deer! [the contestants laugh at him]


 * Bridgette: Courtney, have you got a choice for Alejandro?
 * Courtney: I'm gonna go jaguar, Bridgette.
 * Geoff: Jaguar? Are you sure?
 * Courtney: Of course I am! They're smart, they're lean, they're fast...
 * Geoff: They're spotty, you shouldn't leave them alone with your kitten...Okay then!

Planes, Trains, and Hot Air Mobiles [3.25]

 * Chris: Last time on Total Drama World Tour... Alberta! It'll blow you away! How could this happen?! Well first, Sierra exploded when Alejandro called Cody a two-timer. So, she took it out on Heather and ka-boom! Someone got stuck in a hole. Luckily for Heather, Alejandro felt a tremor in his tiny black heart and saved her. But... his heart imploded when he found out Heather voted for him. Dude so would have been a goner. Except Sierra demolished my plane! Did I mention we've got no ride now? Hmm? BECAUSE SIERRA BLEW IT UP?! [inhales into a paper bag] Our final three are jetting to Hawaii... without a jet. So get set for some other kind of race to the million! Right here on Total. Drama. World Tour! [front part of the plane fell on the ground] Ouch!


 * Chris: The hot tub with my name spelled out in Italian tiles, gone. My monogrammed sneakers, gone. My custom calibrated stubble trimmer, gone.
 * Alejandro: So... shall we continue the game?
 * Heather: Yeah. I second that, totally.
 * Chris: As usual, you two are thinking of nothing but yourselves.
 * Cody: [grunts] Can we get some help over here?
 * Chris: What about the bigger humanitarian crisis? How am I supposed to keep this face fresh without my hyperbolic chamber?
 * [Cody picks up a bald Sierra who was left from the plane explosion]
 * Sierra: Oh, Cody. I've had dreams like this! Except in most of them, you wore a Mountie hat and a loincloth. [purrs]
 * Cody: Did you land on your head?
 * Sierra: No, silly! I'm fine. I'm fantastic! Except for my, you know, my left wrist, right earlobe, scalp and both ankles. [Cody struggles to hold her up] Which, um, are kind of throbbing with every step we take. Ow! Ow!
 * Cody: [as he and Sierra fall] Whuh-oh!
 * Heather: [in the destroyed confessional] Now that Sierra's out of the game, it would be nice to earn points with Cody. But really, I have to help. I've been where she is. Crazy or not, no girl should ever have to be bald on national TV. Here. Maybe these will help. [she gives Sierra a wheelchair and a head-dress up cover up Sierra's bald head]
 * Sierra: Does it look okay?
 * Heather: Gorgeous!
 * [Chef comes out with the emergency kit]
 * Chris: Hey! My emergency kit! We're saved! Ha ha! That's right, kids. Get ready for surf, sun, and beauties in grass skirts. We're going to a-Hawaii!
 * [Alejandro, Heather, and Cody cheers]
 * Chris: I know. Best host ever. Never doubt me!
 * [the box collapsed revealing a helicopter]
 * Alejandro: Uh, is that a two seater?
 * Chris: Yep. Chef flies, I supervise.
 * Alejandro: And we?
 * Chris: Will be competing to get to the big island first using only your wits and whatever you find out here.
 * Cody: But we're in the middle of nowhere!
 * Chris: True. So, check these fancy-dancy GPS's I'm generously giving you.
 * Heather: "Middle of Nowhere, Alberta." Well, they work.
 * Chris: Set 'em for Tijuana Beach. It's right on the Mexican border. Now move it! Go, go, go!
 * Sierra: Wait! What about me?!
 * Chris: Make like you took the Drop of Shame and figure it out yourself!
 * Sierra: [in the destroyed confessional, furious about Chris abandoning her in Drumheller] Okay, mom. I know how hard it is to end a crush but he's a total jerkface! When I come home, the Chris McLean museum/guestroom better be destroyed!
 * Chris: Don't worry! You're all totally gonna make it! [he and Chef leave by riding a helicopter]


 * Sierra: [in the destroyed confessional] I order my mom to pack away all of her Chris shrine at home before I return.


 * Heather: And this must be the part where you ask me to join forces.
 * Alejandro: Why would I do that?
 * Heather: Because we're the final two, right? It was like a pact. You wanted--
 * Alejandro: I know what you did.
 * Heather: Um, could you be a bit more specific? I've done a lot. [gasps]
 * Alejandro: [takes out his passport revealing that Heather tried to vote him out of the game; angrily] YOU VOTED FOR ME! [normal] Oh, prepare for the full force of Hurricane Alejandro. Next stop, Hawaii. And I sincerely hope you don't make it.
 * Heather: Oh, like you wouldn't do the same!
 * Alejandro: [in the destroyed confessional] Heather has a way of making my focus slip, like a too-small Speedo. This race is my redemption. As long as I travel alone, she can't distract me with her clever words, or her distrustful eyes, or the way she tucks her hair behind those cute little earlobes...argh! Focus!
 * Heather: You better focus, 'cause it is on! I am gonna smoke you for breakfast!
 * Alejandro: Bring it!
 * Heather: [over walkie talkie] Blah blah blah. Guess what? I can just turn you off.
 * Alejandro: [over walkie talkie] Of course you can. You're an expert at turning people off.
 * Heather: Ugh! Much better. Without Evil-jandro around to distract me, I am going straight to Millionaire City, population: me. Okay, now how do I get there?


 * [Sierra offers Cody her wheelchair to use in his hot air balloon]
 * Sierra: So what if I perish here, my bones bleaching along with the dinosaur carcasses? It's worth it to help my Cody-bunny-candy-kins! I won't take no for an answer!
 * Cody: Seriously. Wow. You're amazing. You know, when I first met you, I thought you were just my number one fan. But now, you're a true friend.
 * Sierra: Aren't we just a little more than friends? Just a teensy bit?
 * Cody: Uh, sure. We're...uh...best friends!


 * Fireworks seller: Cody from Total Drama? He's up against Heather? Right now?
 * Sierra: You're a fan? Me too!


 * [at Hawaii, the eliminated contestants show up with mean, desperate or anxious looks on their faces when Heather reached Hawaii at last]
 * Heather: Yes! I win, I win, I win!
 * Chris: Heather makes it into the final two! One question remains. Who will Heather battle? Cody or Alejandro?
 * Cody: We did it! [pants]
 * [suddenly, their victory didn't last long as Alejandro falls in at the last minute as he, Cody, and Sierra scream]
 * Chris: Oh, wow. That's what you call a tie, people. I'd go to the slow mo to declare a winner, but, we're, kinda outta time.
 * Heather, Alejandro, and Cody: What?!
 * Chris: Yep. We are totally, completely, undeniably, out of time. As of, right, about, now! [Heather, Alejandro, and Cody groans] So come back next time to find out who battles who and see someone finally win the million or die trying. Right here on Total. Drama. World Tour!

Hawaiian Punch [3.26]

 * Alejandro: [using the confessional at Hawaii] I only let Heather beat me to give her a false sense of confidence. But how will I explain to those at home that I tied with that pathetic Cody? Oh, my brother José will be compiling his insults already.
 * Cody: [using the confessional at Hawaii] I made it all the way to the final two-ish! I can't believe how close I am to the million! There's just one massive thing in my way: Alejandro, against just me! Never thought I'd say this, but, I wish Sierra was back in here with me.


 * Heather: [using the confessional at Hawaii] Believe it or not, I am actually hoping Alejandro wins the tiebreaker. I might be able to beat him in a vote.


 * Chris: Ta-da! Each ball inside our challenge booth has a different tie breaker written on it. So, take your pick.
 * Heather: Well, isn't this fun. Ow! Are these golf balls? Ow, ow!
 * [the eliminated contestants laughs]
 * Bridgette: I swear, Geoff and I put ping pong balls in there.
 * Chris: I know. And I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I had to dial it up to met my usual high standards.
 * Heather: Ow! How am I supposed-- ah, ow, ow!
 * [glass breaks, Tyler groans, Heather walks off coughing]
 * Chris: No ball, no exit. Back you go. [Heather coughs] Uh, Geoff. Go ahead and read that, would you, pal?
 * Geoff: [picks up the golf ball Heather choked on] Ew. Heather has selected the traditional Hawaiian fire dance of death.


 * [after Alejandro and Cody tied for 2nd place in the last challenge, they had to compete together in "Traditional Hawaiian Fire Dance of Death"]
 * Alejandro: Prepare to be defeated my tiny friend!
 * Cody: Ah! I'm too young to die! Or fry!
 * Sierra: Stay focused, Codykins!
 * Harold: The kiwis! Go for the kiwis!
 * Courtney: Go, Alejandro! Squish him! Like a bug!
 * Heather: Where's my encouragement? Hello, Team Heather? Ugh! Ah! [blows]
 * Alejandro: Give up! You know you can't win! [pushes Cody away]
 * Heather: Someone better win fast! I'm about to burst into flames! [pause] Oh no! Sierra just rolled into quicksand!
 * Cody: [while trying to defeat Alejandro] What? Sierra? Someone help her!
 * Sierra: No! Cody!
 * [Alejandro hits Cody as he knocks his jousting stick in the water as a shark eats it]
 * Cody: NO!
 * Alejandro: Consider your disarmed and DISPLATFORM! [he knocked Cody off the platform, thus eliminating him from the competition after Heather distracted him about Sierra]
 * Chris: [laughs] Ruthless!
 * Cody: Please don't eat me! Please don't eat me! [gets eaten by a shark as he swims away]
 * Sierra: Cody! [steers her wheelchair into the ocean and saves Cody from the shark]


 * Cody: [using the confessional at Hawaii] Nobody makes shark bait out of me and gets away with it. Anyway, Heather was pretty good to me overall. Hey, I bet I'm the first person to ever say that.


 * Heather: You can’t seriously expect us to throw these dummies into an active volcano without safety equipment.


 * Courtney: Eh, there's no mall. We're in the jungle. Ah! Do I have to do everything myself?
 * Harold: Ha! Is in the bag. [Courtney kicks him in the groin]


 * Cody: Al hates being called Al? Gosh, Al! Owen must've called Al Al, like, a thousand times! Huh, Al? Poor Al!
 * Alejandro: [angrily] SHUT IT!


 * Harold: [in a high-pitched voice while holding his groin] Hurry! There's no time to lose!
 * Cody: Don't give up, or the bad guy wins!
 * Heather: You mean...I'm the good guy?


 * [Alejandro makes it all the way up to the top of the volcano where Chris, Chef and the other contestants are waiting]
 * Chris: [holding the million dollar case] Looking for this?
 * Alejandro: [to his Heather dummy] Thanks for everything. [hisses like a snake and kisses his dummy]


 * [After Alejandro kisses Heather, she then kicks him on the groin]
 * Heather: A little something called "Victory"! So long, sucker! [Pushes Alejandro on the ice out the edge of volcano]
 * Alejandro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


 * [Alejandro's ending]
 * Heather: Yeah. Boys are okay, but a million dollars is way better! [unknowingly picks up Alejandro's dummy and throws it into the volcano, making Alejandro the winner] Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
 * Chris: Nice. Except, isn't that your sacrifice?
 * Heather: [turns at her sacrifice dummy is still on the ground; shocked] But… that's not… [turns and looks down in the volcano]
 * Chris: You just threw Alejandro's in the volcano. So, Alejandro wins!
 * Heather: [panics in shock and lets out a big loud scream which echoes] NOOOO!!!!!
 * [Alejandro lands at the bottom of the volcano, still sitting on the ice as it melts]
 * Chris: [calling out] Hey, Alejandro, you might wanna come back up here!
 * Alejandro: I won?! I'm coming! [runs back up to the top of the volcano]
 * Heather: [incredibly outraged] This is not fair! I am the one who made the pineapple sacrifice!
 * Hawaiian Native #1: Oh you didn't throw any pineapples in the volcano did you?
 * Hawaiian Native #2: There are signs everywhere!
 * [all the contestants back up and sees the sign]
 * Chris: Oh yeah they really ruined the shot so we put the human wall there.
 * [Owen scratches his back with the sign]
 * Hawaiian Native #1: [after kicks Blaineley's dolly] Don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?
 * [the volcano erupts]
 * Chris: Uh-oh.
 * [A feral Ezekiel appears, pushes Heather off, and takes Alejandro's prize away from Chris. Katie, Justin, Lindsay, Sierra, Courtney, and Sadie become worried during the fight. DJ and Trent both become terrified while Owen scratches his back with the sign. A feral Ezekiel grabs Alejandro's prize from Chris and drops it in the volcano as it started to rumble.]
 * Chris: Whoa! Didn't see that one coming! Any-who, RUN!!!!
 * [as the volcano erupts, Alejandro is running up to get his reward, but he stops by when he sees that the Hawaiian Natives, Chris, and Heather run off from the erupting volcano passing by him]
 * Alejandro: Hey! Where's my prize money! I demand to get what's coming to me! [the cast trample him, gets run over by Blaineley's dolly, leaving him burned by lava flowing down the volcano while the contestants quickly escape from the erupting volcano]
 * Chris: See you next season, I guess. [Alejandro screams and runs by after being trampled by the contestants and burned by lava] Maybe with a whole new cast, cause, let's face it, these guys are probably gonna melt. Until next time, I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total....Drama...
 * [a feral Ezekiel falls screaming from the sky and crashes into Chris and Chef's boat, everyone laughs, but, then swims as magma starts raining]


 * [Heather's ending]
 * Duncan: Nice! It's about time someone took La Cucaracha down.
 * Heather: Yeah. Boys are okay, but a million dollars is way better! [throws her dummy into the volcano] Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
 * Chris: And that's a cool million for Heather. The winner of Total Drama World Tour!
 * [the ex-constestants clap and cheer]
 * Cody: [satisfied] Ha! Take that, Al!
 * Harold: Sweet!
 * Heather: [opens the case and gasps at the money] Look how beautiful it is! [kiss the money case]
 * Hawaiian Native #1: Oh you didn't throw any pineapples in the volcano did you?
 * Hawaiian Native #2: There are signs everywhere!
 * [all the contestants back up and sees the sign]
 * Chris: Oh yeah they really ruined the shot so we put the human wall there.
 * [Owen scratches his back with the sign]
 * Hawaiian Native #1: [after kicks Blaineley's dolly] Don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?
 * [the volcano erupts]
 * Chris: Uh-oh.
 * [A feral Ezekiel appears, takes Heather's prize away from her. Katie, Justin, Lindsay, Sierra, Courtney, and Sadie become worried during the fight. DJ and Trent both become terrified while Owen scratches his back with the sign. A feral Ezekiel takes the prize away from Heather and drops it in the volcano as it started to rumble.]
 * Chris: Whoa! Didn't see that one coming! Any-who, RUN!!!!
 * [Everyone runs from the erupting volcano until Alejandro is shown at the very bottom, Chris and Heather pass by him when the cast trample him]
 * Alejandro: Wait for me! [gets run over by Blaineley's dolly] Ow! [lava pours on him]
 * Chris: See you next season, I guess. [Alejandro screams and runs by after being trampled by the contestants and burned by lava] Maybe with a whole new cast, cause, let's face it, these guys are probably gonna melt. Until next time, I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total....Drama...
 * [a feral Ezekiel falls screaming from the sky and crashes into Chris and Chef's boat, everyone laughs except Heather, but, then swims as magma starts raining]
 * Heather: [being left alone in the ocean] Wait! Do I get my money or what? [she then sees a giant boulder falling towards her; screams and starts swimming away from the rock and as the rock goes near her]


 * [Exclusive clip: Chris and Chef pick up Alejandro and place him in a robot suit after getting severely injured and burned from the disastrous finale]
 * Chris: Let's get this over with already. It's freezing in here. At this rate, I'm probably gonna need some more hot chocolate and another sleeve blanket. You sure what you're doing Chef? As long as we sign the release forms, we're golden. [the robot starts to stand up] Al? Can you hear me? We're gonna need you to sign some paperwork that legally absolves the show of your little lava accident.
 * Alejandro: [inside the Drama Machine] Chris, the million dollars. Is it safe?
 * Chris: Yeah. It seems the million dollars fell into the volcano. It's gone.
 * Alejandro: [inside the Drama Machine] NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * [fade to black]
 * Chris: [chuckles offscreen] Spaz.