Trouble in Paradise (1932 film)

Trouble in Paradise is a 1932 film about a gentleman thief and a lady pickpocket who join forces to con a beautiful perfume company owner.
 * Directed by Ernst Lubitsch. Written by Samson Raphaelson, Grover Jones, and Ernst Lubitsch, based on the 1931 play The Honest Finder (A Becsületes Megtaláló) by Hungarian playwright László Aladár.

Gaston Monescu

 * Everything will be all right again. Prosperity is just around the corner.

Madame Mariette Colet

 * [To Francois] No, no, Francois. I tell you, no! You see, Francois, marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together. But with you, Francois, I think it would be a mistake. [To the Major] Don't be so down-hearted, Major. You're not the only one I don't love. I don't love Francois either.

Dialogue

 * Waiter: Yes, Baron. What should we start with, Baron? Hmm?
 * Gaston: Oh yes. That's not so easy. Beginnings are always difficult.
 * Waiter: Yes, Baron.
 * Gaston: If Casanova suddenly turned out to be Romeo having supper with Juliet, who might become Cleopatra, how would you start?
 * Waiter: I would start with cocktails.


 * Lily: [about her appearance in his room] By tomorrow, it'll be Grand Canal gossip!
 * Gaston: Don't stop. Keep right on complaining. It's beautiful.
 * Lily: You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were an American.
 * Gaston: Thank you.
 * Lily: Someone from another world - so entirely different. Oh! One gets so tired of one's own class - princes and counts and dukes and kings! Everybody talking shop. Always trying to sell jewelry. Then I heard your name and found out you were just one of us.
 * Gaston: Disappointed?
 * Lily: No, proud. Very proud.
 * [He descends to her lips for a kiss]


 * Filiba: He said, 'Good evening. I'm the doctor.' I said, 'Doctor?' He said, 'Yes, the doctor. I've come to see about your tonsils....
 * Hotel Manager: The representative of police would like to know if there is anything wrong with your tonsils, Monsieur Filiba?
 * Filiba: No...That's what I tried to tell him. Well, one word led to another. He was really a very charming fellow. We talked for about ten minutes...
 * Hotel Manager: What did you talk about, Monsieur Filiba?
 * Filiba: About tonsils.
 * Hotel Manager: Tonsille!
 * The Chorus of Police: Tonsille!
 * Filiba: So then I said to myself, all right, if he wants to look at them, let him look at them. There's no harm in that. Then he said, 'Say 'AH!' And so I said, 'Ah!' And that's all I remember. When I woke up, I still had my tonsils, but my pocketbook was gone.


 * Gaston: That's hotel life. In one room, a man loses his wallet, and in another room, a man loses his head.
 * Lily: Please! When I came here, it was for a little adventure, a little game which you play tonight and forget tomorrow. Something's changed me; and it isn't the champagne. Oh, the whole thing's so new to me. I have a confession to make to you. Baron, you are a crook. You robbed the gentleman in 253, 5, 7, and 9. May I have the salt?
 * Gaston: [as he passes the salt] Please.
 * Lily: Thank you.
 * Gaston: The pepper too?
 * Lily: No thank you.
 * Gaston: You're very welcome. Countess, believe me, before you left this room I would have told you everything. And let me say this with love in my heart. Countess, you are a thief. The wallet of the gentleman in 253, 5, 7, and 9 is in your possession. I knew it very well when you took it out of my pocket. In fact, you tickled me. But your embrace was so sweet.


 * Lily: I like you, Baron.
 * Gaston: I'm crazy about you. By the way, your pin. [He returns her brooch pin - after appraising it.]
 * Lily: [after suddenly noticing she's missing it] Thank you, Baron.
 * Gaston: Not at all. There's one very good stone in it.
 * Lily: What time is it? [She allows him to search for his pocket watch before looking startled. She hands it to him from her purse - after resetting it.] It was five minutes slow but I regulated it for you. [He pockets the watch with a smile.]
 * Gaston: I hope you don't mind if I keep your garter. [She checks her leg, under the table, and then Gaston holds the garter up high and kisses it to prove his expertise.]
 * Lily: Darling! [excitedly, she rises and kisses him, flinging herself into his arms] Oh now, darling. Tell me, tell me all about yourself. Who are you?
 * Gaston: You remember the man who walked into the Bank of Constantinople, and walked out with the Bank of Constantinople?
 * Lily: Monescu.
 * Gaston: Gaston Monescu.
 * Lily: Gaston!
 * [they begin passionately kissing]
 * Gaston: I love you. I loved you the moment I saw you. I'm mad about you. My little shoplifter. My sweet little pickpocket. My darling.


 * Gaston: A lady as charming as you would and should get love letters.
 * Mme. Colet: Monsieur LaValle.
 * Gaston: But one suggestion. Not the Major. I don't mind his grammatical mistakes. I will overlook his bad punctuation. But the letter has no mystery. No bouquet. And one lipstick.


 * Gaston: It embarrasses you to offer me the 20,000 francs reward.
 * Mme. Colet: Yes.
 * Gaston: Don't be embarrassed. I'll take it. I need the money. I wish I were in a position to ignore the whole matter, but you know Madame, the stock market, a bank crash. To make a long story short, a member of the nouveaux poor.
 * Mme. Colet: Well, I'm glad I lost the bag. I'll write you a check immediately.


 * Gaston/LaValle: In times like these when everything is uncertain, every conservative person should have a substantial part of his fortune within arm's reach.
 * Mme. Colet: Um, hmm. That sounds sensible. Hm, hmm. Yes. Very sensible. Very very clever.
 * Gaston/LaValle: Madame. I think you deserve a good scolding. First, you lose your bag.
 * Mme. Colet: Then I mislay my checkbook.
 * Gaston/LaValle: Then you use the wrong lipstick.
 * Mme. Colet: And how I handle my money.
 * Gaston/LaValle: It's disgraceful.
 * Mme. Colet: Tell me, Monsieur LaValle. What else is wrong?
 * Gaston/LaValle: Everything! Madame Colet, if I were your father, which fortunately I am not, and you made any attempt to handle your own business affairs, I would give you a good spanking - in a business way, of course.
 * Mme. Colet: What would you do if you were my secretary?
 * Gaston/LaValle: The same thing.
 * Mme. Colet: [She leans back provocatively and smiles sensuously.] You're hired.


 * Lily: You see, Mother is dead.
 * Mme. Colet: Yes, that's the trouble with Mothers. First you get to like them, and then they die.


 * Gaston: You're talking like a child. You know exactly what we're here for and what it's all about.
 * Lily: This woman has more than jewelry.
 * Gaston: Oh!
 * Lily: Did you ever take a good look at her, uhm.
 * Gaston: Certainly.
 * Lily: They're all right, aren't they?
 * Gaston: Beautiful. What of it? Let me tell you something. As far as I'm concerned, her whole sex appeal is in that safe.
 * Lily: Oh, Gaston. Let's open it right now. Let's get away from here. I don't like this place.
 * Gaston: No, no, sweetheart. There's more sex appeal coming on the first of the month. It's only ten days - 850,000 francs.
 * Lily: Darling, remember. You are Gaston Monescu. You are a crook. I want you as a crook. I love you as a crook. I worship you as a crook. Steal, swindle, rob. Oh, but don't become one of those useless, good-for-nothing gigolos.


 * Lily: Goodbye, Gaston darling.
 * Gaston: Goodbye, sweetheart.
 * Lily: Well, I'll leave you alone with that lady. But if you behave like a gentleman, I'll break your neck.


 * Jacques: The car is waiting, Madame.
 * Mme. Colet: I won't need the car. I'm not going.
 * Gaston/LaValle: Jacques...Madame has changed her mind. She'll be down in a minute...
 * Mme. Colet: But I told you I don't want to go.
 * Gaston/LaValle: But you have an engagement, and I don't want people to talk.
 * Mme. Colet: Talk, about me? About us?
 * Gaston/LaValle: Precisely.
 * Mme. Colet: Afraid I'm ruining your reputation, Monsieur LaValle?
 * Gaston/LaValle: No, yours Madame.
 * Mme. Colet: Monsieur LaValle, I have a confession to make to you. You like me. In fact, you're crazy about me. Otherwise, you wouldn't think about my reputation. Isn't that so? But incidently, I don't like you. I don't like you at all! And I wouldn't hesitate one instant to ruin your reputation - [She snaps her fingers] - like that!
 * Gaston/LaValle: You wouldn't?
 * Mme. Colet: No, I wouldn't!
 * Gaston/LaValle: [snapping his fingers] Like that?
 * Mme. Colet: [snapping her fingers again] Like that!
 * Gaston/LaValle: I know all your tricks.
 * Mme. Colet: And you're going to fall for them.
 * Gaston/LaValle: So you think you can get me?
 * Mme. Colet: Any minute I want.
 * Gaston/LaValle: You're conceited.
 * Mme. Colet: But attractive.
 * Gaston/LaValle: Now let me tell you...
 * Mme. Colet: Shut up - kiss me! [They kiss] Wasting all this marvelous time with arguments...[They kiss again)]


 * Gaston/LaValle: Jacques, dismiss the car, Madame is not going.
 * Jacques: Yes, Monsieur LaValle.
 * Mme. Colet: Jacques...don't dismiss the car. I'll be down in a few minutes...
 * Gaston/LaValle: I want you to stay, Mariette. You've got to stay. You can't go now.
 * Mme. Colet: I must go.
 * Gaston/LaValle: I'm crazy about you.
 * Mme. Colet: I know it.
 * Gaston/LaValle: I love you.
 * Mme. Colet: I believe you.
 * Gaston/LaValle: Then why do you want to go?
 * Mme. Colet: Because I want to make it tough for you.


 * Major: No doubt about it. It's that secretary.
 * Filiba: Funny the kind of men women fall for.
 * Major: No color, no sparkle, but dependable.
 * Filiba: The type they marry.
 * Major: You know, I'm not the marrying type. I like to take my fun and leave it....
 * Filiba: You know, he's really not such a bad fellow.
 * Major: No, just dull.
 * Filiba: Insignificant. He's a secretary. He always was a secretary, always will be.
 * Major: That's funny, heh, heh. The first time I saw him, I thought he was a doctor.
 * [Filiba suddenly remembers]
 * Filiba: [to Mme. Colet] Tonsils! Positively tonsils!


 * Gaston: I see! You have to be in the Social Register to keep out of jail. But when a man starts at the bottom and works his way up, a self-made crook, then you say, 'Call the police! Put him behind bars! Lock him up!' Very well, Madame. I am Gaston Monescu. The police will be delighted to verify my identity. [He offers her the phone to report him, but she declines.]
 * Mme. Colet: Gaston, did you take the money?
 * Gaston: Yes.
 * Mme. Colet: You wanted a hundred thousand francs. And I thought you wanted me.
 * Gaston: I came here to rob you, but unfortunately I fell in love with you.


 * Gaston: Goodbye.
 * Mme. Colet: She extends her hand for a handshake.] Goodbye.
 * Gaston: You could have been marvelous.
 * Mme. Colet: Divine.
 * Gaston: Wonderful...But tomorrow morning, if you should wake out of your dreams and hear a knock, and the door opens, and there instead of a maid with a breakfast tray stands a policeman with a warrant, then you'll be glad you are alone.
 * Mme. Colet: But it could have been glorious.
 * Gaston: Lovely.
 * Mme. Colet: Divine...But that terrible policeman.
 * Gaston: Goodbye. [They kiss] Do you know what you're missing? [She nods] No. [He pulls her string of pearls from his coat pocket.] That's what you're missing. Your gift to her.
 * Mme. Colet: With the compliments of Colet and Companie.

About Trouble in Paradise

 * Trouble in Paradise is a triumph of sexual awareness that treats the feints, twirls, and innuendo of romance as steps in every lucky human’s sojourn. These characters seem to be waltzing through the swamp of sex, and though they live the high life, their emotions bring them down to earth, in touch with their mortality.
 * Armond White, Trouble in Paradise: Lovers, On the Money an essay at the Criterion Collection

Cast

 * Herbert Marshall - Gaston Monescu / Gaston Lavalle
 * Miriam Hopkins - Lily Vautier
 * Kay Francis - Madame Mariette Colet
 * Edward Everett Horton - François Filiba
 * Charlie Ruggles - The Major
 * C. Aubrey Smith - Adolph J. Giron
 * Robert Greig - Jacques, Mariette's butler
 * Leonid Kinskey - the irate Communist