User:Allixpeeke/Wonder Woman (season 1)

Wonder Woman (1975–1979 ) was an American television series based on the DC Comics comic book superheroine of the same name. Season one originally aired from 21 April 1976 to 16 February 1977.

"Wonder Woman Meets Baroness Von Gunther" [1.01]

 * Yeoman Diana Prince: There's no trace of those top-secret orders anywhere.  But they have to be here.  I know I filed them, but I can't even find the folder.


 * Major Steven Leonard Trevor, Sr.: War is dangerous, Diana.


 * Warden: My son lives in a fantasy world: secret tunnels, men flying spaceships to the moon…I wish he had more children to play with so that he wouldn't spend so much time reading.


 * Baroness Von Gunther: [about Diana Prince]  I'm sure she's blind as a bat without those glasses.


 * Wonder Woman: I haven't got time to get my lasso now, Tommy.  Will you pry it loose and take care of it for me 'til I come back?  It'll be our secret.


 * Von Gunther: This time, Major, you're in a fix even your friend Wonder Woman can't undo.


 * Arthur Deal III: "I, Major Steve Trevor, proudly confess that I am a Nazi spy, and have been for a long time.  I personally sabotaged the weapons shipment to undermine America's war effort.  Now I am returning to Germany.  But, before leaving, I will destroy a final, top-priority target for the glory of the Third Reich."  Well, it has a ring to it, don't you think?  All it requires is your signature.
 * Steve Trevor: [scoffs]  You'll never get me to sign that.
 * Von Gunther: He'll sign.  Do you recognise this, Major?
 * Steve Trevor: That's Wonder Woman's Golden Lasso.
 * Von Gunther: That's right.  And if you ever want to see her alive again, you'll sign that letter—promptly.


 * General Phil Blankenship: [in the presence of Diana Prince]  If Wonder Woman is anywhere near, Steve needs more than ever before.  If only there were some way to contact her!


 * Von Gunther: [referring to Tommy]  He'll be released—after our plans are carried out and I'm on a U-boat in the Atlantic—safe from your democracy.


 * Warden: It is real!  My boy was telling the truth and I didn't believe him!


 * Wonder Woman: [upon capturing Von Gunther]  Looks like you're going to have more time to read about democracy, Baroness.  Lucky you find it so fascinating.  Perhaps now you'll appreciate it and learn from your unwomanly mistakes.


 * Diana Prince: Well, I certainly hope the Baroness realises freedom and democracy are the only causes worthy of her intelligence.


 * Diana Prince: I did some research about Arthur Deal and it seems that he's a victim of his own avarice.  Perhaps he, too, can learn from his experience.
 * Steve Trevor: But Diana, your understanding and compassion are amazing.  You really do believe that people can learn to change for the better?
 * Diana Prince: Yes.  Where I was raised, we were taught that good must triumph over evil, and that women, and men, can learn.

"Fausta: The Nazi Wonder Woman" [1.02]

 * Horst: [referring to Wonder Woman]  Just how strong is she?
 * Fausta Grables: This is what the Führer wants us to find out.


 * Fausta Grables: How can I succeed when they assign me cowards?
 * Rojak: Mueller is the bravest man I know.  That lasso must have strange powers.
 * Fausta Grables: The power to force him to tell the truth?  Extraordinary.


 * Steve Trevor: [referring to Diana Prince]  Someday, I'll arrange to introduce her to Wonder Woman personally.


 * Steve Trevor: I'll take my first furlough—behind Nazi lines.
 * Corporal Etta Candy: That doesn't sound very restful to me.


 * [Wonder Woman's Golden Lasso is tied around Wonder Woman]
 * Fausta Grables: Wonder Woman, where do you come from?
 * Wonder Woman: I come from Paradise Island.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Paradise Island?!  Hah.  And that is on the map?
 * Wonder Woman: No.  It's not on any map.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Because there is no such place!  [to Fausta Grables]  Can't you see she's obviously trying to trick us, Fräulein?
 * Fausta Grables: [to Wonder Woman]  What makes you so strong?
 * Wonder Woman: On Paradise Island, there are only women.  Because of this pure environment, we are able to develop our minds and and our physical skills unhampered by masculine destructiveness.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Stop.  Such information is utter rubbish!  [to Fausta Grables]  Can't you see she is trying to make fools out of us?
 * Fausta Grables: Perhaps not!  It is an interesting theory she advances.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: I refuse to let you waste any more time, Fräulein.  Now, take that lasso off and bring the prisoner into the questioning chamber.

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 * Colonel Kesselmann: And, now, we will all learn the truth!
 * Fausta Grables: Then why don't you ask her about this?!  [holds Wonder Woman's belt]  It has something to do with her strength!
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Put it away!

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 * Colonel Kesselmann: An island of women?!  Such a place wouldn't last a week!
 * Wonder Woman: We have existed in peace and happiness for twenty-six centuries.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Hahaha!  You give answers like that to the Führer and he'll have you both put away as mad.
 * Wonder Woman: Fräulein Grables, you are a woman of great intelligence and should not be taking orders from that man.
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Silence!  Now, I have had enough of both of you "wonder women."

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 * Wonder Woman: [to Fausta Grables]  I appeal to your womanhood.  Do you want your children growing up under tyrants like Kesselmann?  …  I hope we meet when you see the truth.

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 * Steve Trevor: There's somebody behind you getting ready to crack your skull with a shovel.
 * Rojak: [slightly laughs]  You disappoint me.  You think a member of the Nazi elite would fall for that old tri— [gets his skull cracked with a shovel by a woman behind him]

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 * Phil Blankenship: [in the presence of Diana Prince]  The same message also reports that Wonder Woman has apparently escaped.  I just hope she knows about Steve.

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 * Wonder Woman: Fausta, now do you see your real enemies?
 * Colonel Kesselmann: Rojak, throw Fräulein Grables into the water tank!  I will personally pull the switch!
 * Wonder Woman: Now do you see how little you mean to them?

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 * Wonder Woman: Fausta, we want to repay you.  Come back to America with us.
 * Fausta Grables: No, I-I cannot leave my homeland.
 * Steve Trevor: But every Nazi in the country will be looking for you.
 * Fausta Grables: And I will be looking for them.  I must show the world that we are not all Kesselmanns.

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 * Wonder Woman: You are an example to women all over the world who want to be free.
 * Fausta Grables: And you showed me the way.  And now I must show others.

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 * Wonder Woman: You're wonderful.
 * Steve Trevor: Well, you're not so bad, yourself, Wonder Woman.

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 * Steve Trevor: [about Fausta Grables]  The General was most impressed that she chose to stay behind and fight for us.  That's very dangerous work; I don't see how she does it.
 * Diana Prince: Maybe all women can do wonders if put to the test.
 * Steve Trevor: That's exactly what Wonder Woman said.
 * Diana Prince: Is it?

"Beauty on Parade" [1.03]

 * Colonel Flint: There isn't a person on this base who hasn't been cleared for military purposes.  [two trucks of beauty pageant models plus Jack Wood drive up]
 * Diana Prince: Does that include them, Colonel?  They don't look very "military" to me.

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 * Diana Prince: Perhaps if we could get one of our own agents into that beauty contest…
 * Steve Trevor: Might flush 'em out.  Take a really beautiful girl, though, someone with all the right qualifications.
 * Diana Prince: Well, I'd be willing to try.
 * Steve Trevor: Well, thanks, Diana; I know you'd do a wonderful job, but I'm afraid this calls for a really gorgeous girl, someone who looks great in a bathing suit.

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 * Jack Wood: We have a slew of tired G.I.s coming here tomorrow night to look at girls.  [referring to Diana Paradise, who is in actuality Diana Prince in disguise]  Depriving them of this baby doll would be unpatriotic.  [to Diana Paradise]  Tell me about yourself, sugar; never mind the dull stuff, get right to your phone number.

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 * Jack Wood: Can you sing or dance or play a musical instrument?
 * Diana Paradise: Yes.  What would you like me to do for you first?
 * Jack Wood: If I answer that question, the draft board will say that I'm young-enough to fight.

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 * Diana Paradise: A vital, intelligent woman is much more than the sum of her birthdays.

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 * Steve Trevor: [to Wonder Woman upon seeing her push his car away from some trees]  I wonder if you can cook.

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 * [Diana Prince is in her Diana Paradise disguise]
 * Steve Trevor: It's funny, but seeing you in that dress makes me realise you look like somebody.
 * Diana Prince: Who?
 * Steve Trevor: Joan Crawford.
 * Diana Prince: Well, I'm very flattered, sir.
 * Steve Trevor: Around the ankles.
 * Diana Prince: [sarcastically]  Thanks.

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 * Monty Burns: [to Lola Flynn]  My dear, we are going to assassinate a very important general named Dwight D. Eisenhower.

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 * Steve Trevor: [as Wonder Woman runs toward the scene]  There's our luck, General, and it never came in a more beautiful package.

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 * Etta Candy: I just don't understand what happened to Diana, Steve.  She was supposed to be in the beauty contest.
 * Steve Trevor: Well, it's simple, Etta:  When she found out she had to share the stage with Wonder Woman, poor kid probably threw in the sponge.  Ah, but what woman wouldn't?  Wonder Woman is just too much.

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 * Diana Prince: We're running low on graph paper.
 * Etta Candy: Graph paper?  Is that all you can think about after all that's happened?  Being in a beauty contest and meeting Jack Wood—in person?  And the ambush of General Eisenhower, and Wonder Woman, and every—
 * Steve Trevor: It's no use, Etta; our Diana is strictly business.  But maybe, just maybe, one of these days, she'll get tired of missing all the fun.  And when that happens, I'd love to be around.
 * Diana Prince: You will be, Major.  That's a promise.

"The Feminum Mystique Part 1" [1.04]
The titles to this episode and its sequel are a play on the title The Feminine Mystique (1963) by Betty Friedan.
 * Steve Trevor: Where's Diana?  I hope she's all right.
 * Wonder Woman: Don't worry about Diana, I'll find her.

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 * Steve Trevor: Code Z is in effect.  I repeat, Code Z is in effect.

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 * Captain Radl: [referring to Wonder Woman's bracelets]  Well, the Americans have got a secret weapon that makes the XPJ-1 pale into insignificance, a weapon, if properly utilised, could finish this war in a matter of weeks.

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 * Dalma: Your daughter grows stronger and more agile every day.
 * The Queen of Paradise Island: Yes, she grows more and more like her older sister.

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 * Princess Drusilla: Oh, not another how-to-be-heir-to-the-throne lesson.  Diana's the heir, Mother, not me.
 * The Queen: I'm very well aware of that.  But it's your older sister I wish to talk to you about.  When I sent her away to America, I had no idea she would become such a legend] as "Wonder Woman."  Now I think it time that she return here and resume her [[duties.  Besides, I miss her.  I want my family around me.  That's why I want you to go to the United States, to Washington, D.C., and bring Diana back here to Paradise Island.

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 * Diana Prince: I'm really a terrific cook.

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 * Diana Prince: I'll make you a promise: I'll take you out to dinner sometime.
 * Etta Candy: It's not the same, Diana.  I mean, you're not a man.
 * Diana Prince: I've always been very happy about that.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Wonder Woman outfit]
 * Princess Drusilla: Oh, what is this?  It's really good.
 * Princess Diana: It's ice cream.  What are you doing here?
 * Princess Drusilla: Mother sent me.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Wonder Woman outfit]
 * Princess Diana: Mother doesn't understand.  You see, if I don't stay here, there may not be a Paradise Island.  It will suffer with the rest of the free world.  …  The Americans are fighting a war against a monstrous evil, the Nazis.  Now, if the Nazis win, the whole world would be subjected to slavery.  I feel that by staying here, I can help in some small way towards preventing that catastrophe.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Wonder Woman outfit]
 * Princess Drusilla: Does that mean I can stay?
 * Princess Diana: Yes, but only for a few days, just long enough for me to show you the justice of the Americans' cause as opposed to the evil of the Nazis'.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Yeoman Diana Prince uniform]
 * Princess Diana: It allows me to be in military intelligence where I can know immediately where I am most needed.  …  [I]t also enables me to stay close to Steve—Major Trevor.  I work for him.
 * Princess Drusilla: You work for a man?
 * Princess Diana: Yes.
 * Princess Drusilla: He tells you what to do and you do it?
 * Princess Diana: Yes.
 * Princess Drusilla: What are they like, Diana, men?
 * Princess Diana: Oh…they're like children, they're like gods…they're like geniuses, and fools…they are all things.
 * Princess Drusilla: Will I get to meet any?

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Yeoman Diana Prince uniform]
 * Princess Diana: Okay, we have to get you some clothes for now.  Tomorrow we'll go shopping and we'll gave you looking like a teenager in no time.
 * Princess Drusilla: What?  What's a teenager?
 * Princess Diana: A teenager is what they call a young person here in the United States.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Yeoman Diana Prince uniform]
 * Princess Drusilla: Would they really make slaves of everyone, these Nazis?
 * Princess Diana: Yes, if they're allowed to.
 * Princess Drusilla: Well, then you're right: we must help stop them.

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 * Steve Trevor: Well, this is quite a surprise.  I didn't even know you had a sister, Diana.  Welcome to Washington, Dru.
 * Dru Prince: Thank you.
 * Peter Knight: Uhr, it's a surprise to me, too—a pleasant one.  Out of the blue, I have a date when I thought I was going to be stag, tonight.
 * Dru Prince: I shot one of those once, with my crossbow.
 * Peter Knight: You what?
 * Dru Prince: A stag.  It was a twelve-pointer.  Diana, you remember when we were—
 * Diana Prince: Honey, what he means is that he's so pleased to have such a pretty girl for company tonight.
 * Dru Prince: You are?
 * Peter Knight: Certainly.
 * Dru Prince: Diana, I like men.

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 * Boy: Hi, cupcake.  [Princess Drusilla looks behind her]  No, you.  Where've you been all my life?
 * Princess Drusilla: Paradise Island.
 * Boy: Paradise Island?
 * Boy 2: Wow, we've got us a fruitcake.
 * Princess Drusilla: [to boy 2]  You have a remarkable number of red spots on your face.
 * Boy: [to Princess Drusilla]  Hey, you wanna soda?
 * Princess Drusilla: A soda?
 * Boy: Alright, I-I'll spring for a banana split then.
 * Princess Drusilla: Oh, I like bananas.  Do you think I could have some "ice cream" with that?
 * Boy: Hey, you're neat.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Yeoman Diana Prince uniform]
 * Princess Diana: I'll pick you up, and then we'll go shopping.
 * Princess Drusilla: [over the phone]  Neat.  [hangs up]
 * Princess Diana: [to herself]  "Neat."

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 * Dru Prince: I understand that, but why is the Americans' cause just and the Nazis' cause unjust?
 * Phil Blankenship: [chuckles]  You ask strange questions for someone so young, my dear.
 * Dru Prince: Well, it's very important that I understand if I'm to explain it to my mother.
 * Phil Blankenship: Oh, I'm sure she already knows.
 * Dru Prince: Oh, no, she doesn't; that's why Diana asked me to explain it to her.

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 * Dru Prince: [to the phone operator]  I know there's a war going on; that's why I want the number of the War Department.  [gets hung up on]

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 * Dru Prince: Well, I need to speak with the military intelligence in Washington.  General Blankenship's just been kidnapped.
 * Mechanic: Sure, and President Roosevelt's a Nazi spy.
 * Dru Prince: I didn't know that.  Are you sure?
 * Mechanic: Let's discuss it over a root beer.  We could listen to this great new disc I just got, um…new guy, knocking 'em dead—Sinatra!  Fred Sinatra, I think.
 * Dru Prince: I'm sorry, I really don't have time.  But if that Mister Sinatra you're talking about is really knocking people dead, something should be done about him right away.
 * Mechanic: [laughs]  You're a riot.  Cute, too.

"The Feminum Mystique Part 2" [1.05]

 * Lynda Carter: This is Lynda Carter and here're some scenes from Part 1 of "The Feminum Mystique."  [various scenes from the previous episode play]  And now, the conclusion of "The Feminum Mystique."

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 * Steve Trevor: Have you tried calling your family?
 * Diana Prince: It's a little bit difficult to get through to them.
 * Steve Trevor: They don't have a telephone?
 * Diana Prince: Oh, no.

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 * Steve Trevor: Incidentally, where is "home"?
 * Diana Prince: Well, it's a long way from here and, right now, I'd rather stay in Washington.

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 * Peter Knight: [referring to feminum]  I've checked the crystalline, the chemical, and the mechanical heterogeneity; it's like nothing I've ever come across before.  …  If it's an alloy, I've no idea of its components; if it's in its natural state, I don't know where it comes from.

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 * Peter Knight: [believing Wonder Girl to be Wonder Woman]  You're strong and you're capable.  …  You have these powers; I've seen you.  You're super strong.  You can deflect bullets.
 * Wonder Girl: But not without my feminum bracelets and, well, they took them from me.
 * Peter Knight: What's feminum?
 * Wonder Girl: It's the metal that we make the bracelets from.  …  There's only one source of it in the whole world.
 * Peter Knight: Where's that?
 * Wonder Girl: I'm afraid I can't tell you that.  …  That's one of the very first commandments:  "Never tell anyone about Paradise Island."  Oh, dear.  I've gone and told you.

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 * Wonder Girl: Unless you know exactly where it is, you could sail by it without and never really see it.  I think it has something to do with refraction.

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 * Steve Trevor: Well, the Nazis are ordering up a land attack force; but there's no land there.
 * Diana Prince: Where?
 * Steve Trevor: Right there.  30° 22' N, 64° 47' W.
 * Diana Prince: [to herself]  Paradise Island.

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 * Diana Prince: I have my own transportation.

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 * The Queen: Diana, darling.
 * Princess Diana: Yes, Mother?
 * The Queen: Why don't you just reason with your Nazis?
 * Princess Diana: Mother, would you take my word for it?  There is no reasoning with the Nazis.

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 * The Queen: These Nazis don't stand a chance against my Amazons.
 * Princess Diana: Don't be so sure, Mother.  They're clever and they're devious, like most men.
 * The Queen: Like your American friend Major Trevor?
 * Princess Diana: He's clever, but he doesn't have a devious bone in his body.
 * The Queen: You should know, Daughter.  [exits]
 * Princess Diana: [quietly]  Mother!

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 * Princess Diana: [on the Nazis]  They are cruel, inhuman, and barbaric—but they are predictable.

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 * [Princess Diana is in her Wonder Woman outfit]
 * Dalma: Diana, tell us again about the Nazi men.  Blond hair, blue eyes…
 * Magda: What are they like?
 * Princess Diana: I've told you this before.  They are not like other men.  They destroy what they cannot control.
 * Dalma: But I thought all men were like that.
 * Princess Diana: There are some good men in the outside world.  They are the ones we must help defeat the Nazis.
 * Magda: Maybe, uh…maybe we'll greet the Nazis, and welcome them, and find out for ourselves what they are really like.
 * Princess Diana: You'll have to take my word for what they're really like.

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 * Captain Radl: Wait 'till I contact Berlin and tell them we've conquered a whole island of Wonder Women.

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 * The Queen: My safety is unimportant as long as my people are imprisoned.

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 * Captain Radl: Madame, we are at war.
 * The Queen: That is no justification for killing innocent people.

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 * Captain Radl: Berlin is interested in where they get their strength and longevity.  We're to send them to Berlin for a study and…possible breeding.

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 * The Queen: Captain, you Nazis—what is it you hope to gain by this war?
 * Captain Radl: Living space, Madame.  The Third Reich needs living space.
 * The Queen: The entire world.
 * Captain Radl: If necessary.

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 * Diana Prince: Let's just say Dru is acting like a teenager.

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 * Boy: You really know how to cut a rug.
 * Dru Prince: I know how to dance, too.
 * Boy: That's what I said.
 * Dru Prince: Gee, could I have some more ice cream?
 * Boy: More?
 * Dru Prince: Yeah, there's still three flavours I haven't tasted yet.
 * Boy: Yeah, I guess so.
 * Dru Prince: Neat.

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 * Steve Trevor: Well, I sure don't want you to go.
 * Diana Prince: You don't?
 * Steve Trevor: Why, no.  You're the best secretary I've ever had.  It would take me weeks to replace you.  [Diana stops eating, Steve chuckles]  I'm just kidding.  The truth is, you're irreplaceable.  And I don't mean that just as a secretary.

"Wonder Woman vs. Gargantua!" [1.06]

 * Diana Prince:
 * Steve Trevor:
 * Diana Prince:
 * Steve Trevor:
 * Diana Prince:
 * Steve Trevor:
 * Diana Prince:

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 * Steve Trevor:
 * Diana Prince:
 * Steve Trevor:
 * Diana Prince:

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 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:

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 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:

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 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:
 * xxxxxx:

Cast

 * Lynda Carter — Princess Diana of Paradise Island, also known as Wonder Woman and Yeoman First Class Diana Prince
 * Lyle Waggoner — Major Steven Leonard Trevor, Sr.
 * Richard Eastham — General Phil Blankenship
 * Beatrice Colen — Corporal Etta Candy
 * Carolyn Jones — The Queen of Paradise Island
 * Debra Winger — Princess Drusilla of Paradise Island, also known as Wonder Girl and Dru Prince
 * Erica Hagen — Dalma
 * Pamela Susan Shoop — Magda
 * John Saxon — Captain Radl
 * Charles Frank — Peter Knight
 * Christine Belford — Baroness Von Gunther
 * Bo Brundin — Colonel Kesselmann
 * Lynda Day George — Fausta Grables
 * Dick Van Patten — Jack Wood
 * Cannot find actor's name — General Dwight D. Eisenhower
 * Mickey Morton — Gargantua