User:Batman2005~enwikiquote

WORK IN PROGRESS

NCIS (2003–) is a CBS network television series about a team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service of the United States Navy.

Characters

 * Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs - Mark Harmon
 * Special Agent Anthony "Tony" Dinozzo - Michael Weatherly
 * Special Agent Caitlin "Kate" Todd - Sasha Alexander (2003-2005)
 * Special Agent Ziva David - Cote de Pablo (2005-Present)
 * Probationary Agent Timothy McGee - Sean Murray
 * Forensic Pathologist Abigail "Abby" Sciuto - Pauley Perrette
 * Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard - David McCallum
 * NCIS Director Tom Morrow - Alan Dale (2003-2005)
 * NCIS Director Jennifer "Jenny" Shephard - Lauren Holly (2005-Present)

Yankee White [1.1]

 * TSA Agent Dennis: NCIS? That anything like CSI?
 * Agent Dinozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.


 * Agent Gibbs: You ever work a crime scene Agent Todd?
 * Agent Todd: Well, I am a Secret Service Agent.
 * Agent Gibbs: I thought not.


 * Agent Todd: I can't give him Air Force Ones floor plans, they're top secret!
 * Agent Gibbs: Come on, Agent Todd. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie.


 * Agent Gibbs: NCIS does not leak. These plans get out... you can shoot DiNozzo.
 * Agent Todd: No, I think I'm destined to shoot you.


 * Agent Gibbs: Rule number one: Never let suspects stay together.


 * Agent Gibbs: Rule number two: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.


 * Agent Gibbs: Rule Number Three: Don't believe what you're told. Always double check.
 * Agent Todd: Should I write these rules on my Palm Pilot, or crochet them on pillows?


 * Agent Gibbs: (to Agent Todd) You mind if I tag along? Please.
 * Abby Sciuto: Wow, Gibbs said please!

Hung Out To Dry [1.2]

 * Witness: We were hanging out, listening to Dashboard Confessional.
 * Agent Dinozzo: Emo.
 * Agent Gibbs: Emo?
 * Agent Dinozzo: Emotional music. Gotta get a radio, Gibbs.


 * Agent Gibbs: Y'know, some of these guys freeze on their first jump. Have to be kicked in the ass to get them out.
 * Agent Dinozzo: Not me.
 * Agent Gibbs: Nope. You fall in the category that I want to kick in the ass on the ground.

The Curse [1.5]

 * Agent Dinozzo: The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.
 * Agent Todd: RIO?
 * Agent Dinozzo: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
 * Agent Todd: (to Agent Gibbs) What do you need two B's for?
 * Agent Gibbs: Second ones for bastard.

Marine Down [1.9]

 * Agent Todd: If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
 * Agent Dinozzo: What?
 * Agent Todd: We break into Gibbs's basement and burn his boat.
 * Agent Dinozzo: That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.


 * Agent Dinozzo: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
 * Agent Todd: Because he probably killed them.

One Shot, One Kill [1.13]

 * Agent Gibbs: Hey Dinozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment, except for that minty fresh urine smell.
 * Agent Dinozzo: Hey for your information I have a maid now.
 * Agent Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
 * Agent Dinozzo: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.


 * Agent Todd: You think he told him a fast one?
 * Agent Dinozzo: I doubt it.
 * Agent Todd: Why?
 * Agent Dinozzo: Can you imagine someone lying to Gibbs and getting away with it?

The Good Samaritan [1.14]

 * Agent Gibbs: Anything Abby?
 * Abby Sciuto: This is the left rear tire off Commander Julius's car. Notice anything unusual?
 * Agent Gibbs: It's inflated.
 * Abby Sciuto: Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going this?
 * Agent Gibbs: What do you think?
 * Abby Sciuto: Well, I don't know, that's why I asked you.
 * Agent Gibbs: Why don't you just tell me?
 * Abby Sciuto: So you don't know.
 * Agent Gibbs: I want to make sure you know.
 * Abby Sciuto: Hmmmm.
 * Agent Gibbs: Hmmmm.
 * Abby Sciuto: We should play poker sometime.
 * Agent Gibbs: Yeah, we should.

Enigma [1.15]

 * FBI Agent Charles: You're under arrest.
 * Agent Gibbs: For what?
 * FBI Agent Charles: Pissing off the FBI.
 * Agent Gibbs: Get used to it.


 * Agent Dinozzo: Where the hell are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your arrest.
 * Agent Gibbs: Well, good thing I'm not there then.

Bete Noire [1.16]

 * Dr. Ducky Mallard: (to Ari Haswari) I look forward to weighing your liver.

The Truth Is Out There [1.17]

 * Abby Sciuto: The car that hit Gordon was definitely a Taurus.
 * Agent Gibbs: You're positive?
 * Abby Sciuto: Absolutely... unless it was a Mercury Sable.

Dead Man Talking [1.19]

 * Agent Gibbs: (has his Sig Sauer pointed at the head of Amanda Reed) His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend.


 * Agent Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky.
 * Agent Dinozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
 * Agent Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
 * Agent Dinozzo: That I can't take.