User:ILikeSubtitles

Due to a cruel twist of fate, you have decided to view my page. I should probably thank you for taking a strange interest in my life, so, uhh, here's my advice for enjoying your life:

1. Replace a word in the names of objects with the word "doom". (For example, McDonalds has created a product called "Cinnamon Melts". Call them "Cinnamon Doom".)

2. Should you ever feel bored, irritate a toll booth operators by (A). Pay the person by giving him a puppet show, (B). As you pay him/her, scream, "Me no speakas English. No, shut up! Me no speakas English. I can't understand what you're saying! Me no speakas English!" (C). Should the operator be a large person, as you drive away, shout, "Yeah Mr. Bigo!" (D). If their is a toll of at least $.30, attempt to pay him/her with pennies. (E). (Wear your best earplugs to perform the following step). Finally, insert a CD of the heaviest, most deathmetal and likely to kill you metal album you have into your car. Turn the volume up to max. Turn the bass level up until your subwoofers just barely don't explode. Keep your window fully open. Drive up to the toll booth and act as though you weren't doing anything special. If the operator asks you about the music say it's "just a little easy listening tunes". (note: I only chose toll booth operators as the victims of your amusement because they are the people you are most likely to never see again in your life. Keep in mind they are state officials, so don't go overboard to annoy them. If that scares you, try this only on McDonalds drive-thru employees when you are in another town).

3. Commercials marketed towards kids are EXTREMELY irritating, so should you ever see a cereal commercial or "Be Healthy Damn It!" ad that makes you temporarily regret life, do not hesitate to (A). Unplug your TV. (B). Call the company of the ad and openly swear when your redirected to an agent. (C). (Only if you actually felt your eyes burn) Blow up your TV with half the stock of a fireworks/dynamite store, cancel your cable subscription and rip out the wires placed in your house for it, and live in your basement for the rest of your life to make sure you never see that ad again.

You probably won't ever do any of the above things and say I still need to thank you. Sorry.

How about this? I have some favorite videos on Youtube. Click on the link below to see them on my custom Youtube Player.

http://www.youtube.com/cp/vjVQa1PpcFMe281UxxNiUDwZkxWYLykiBX_rLLLN-mM=

Pretty stupid, right? I'm bound to think of something.

Until then,

ILikeSubtitles