Video on Trial

Video on Trial (abbreviated as VOT) is a half-hour MuchMusic television program where a panel of musicians, comedians and entertainment columnists critique music videos.

In the opening credits, the narrator describes the show as being "the show that will never rest until all music videos are brought to justice".

Episode 1.24

 * Alex Nussbaum: Britney, before you open the door, make sure you know who it is. It just could be a stalker. (on "Lucky" by Britney Spears)

(Referring to the slow placed scene of dialogue at the video beginning)
 * Debra DiGiovanni: Wake me up when the video starts. (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)
 * Fraser Young: Whoa, wait. Since when are there 4 guys in Green Day? (on "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day)

Episode 1.25

 * Nikki Payne: Here they are, The Fake Click Five! (on "Catch Your Wave" by The Click Five)

Episode 1.26

 * David Kerr: If you're still playing with dolls, you're too young for fake breasts. (on "Stupid Girls" by Pink)


 * David Kerr: Look out, Dr. Phil. There is a new caring man out there and his name is Marshall Mathers. (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)


 * David Kerr: Why is it that Stan's inner voice sounds just like Eminem? (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)


 * Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)


 * David Kerr: If you wash your hands in your pee, then it saves you a bunch of time. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)


 * Barry Taylor: It isn't your skin color that makes you ugly, it's your face. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)


 * Alex Nussbaum: When you eat you feel like a failure? Funny, 'cause when I eat I feel like a beverage. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)


 * David Kerr: I thought it was pretty funny until I recognized my mom's writing, though I'm not sure why she drew me in a dress. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)


 * David Kerr: Here's an idea, why don't you keep your crappy music your dirty little secret, and spare us from listening to it. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)

Episode 1.27

 * Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)


 * Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)


 * DJ Trixx: I'm sorry, but Justin Timberlake makes this song so fruity. (on "Signs" by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake and Charlie Wilson)


 * Steven Shehori: (In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage) We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)

Episode 1.28

 * Ron Sparks: Thank God it's not the G-Unit remix...What?...It is the G-Unit remix? G-G-G-G-G-Unit! (on "I Know You Don't Love Me" by Tony Yayo featuring G-Unit)

Episode 1.29

 * Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)


 * Trevor Boris: Hey, kids! This is how baby cars are made. You take a daddy car and the daddy car puts his engine in the mommy car's trunk. (on "Go with the Flow" by Queens of the Stone Age)


 * Tamla Mai-Deleon: I give it a...purple. (on "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! at the Disco)

Episode 1.30

 * Will Weldon: So finally, the brunette one gets a chance to sing. (on "Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls featuring will.i.am)

Episode 1.31

 * Linda Dano (speaking in the music video) : He is 25 years old, and she is 84 years old.
 * Sabrina Jalees: Please welcome Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher! (on "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay)


 * Pink (music video lyrics): My parents hated me, my teachers dated me.
 * Ron Josol: Oh, the cat is out of the bag! You were one of those girls?! (on "Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink)

Episode 1.32

 * Matt Alden: I'm not sure, but I think Shaggy just recited the alphabet backwards somewhere in there. (on "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy featuring Rikrok)

Episode 1.33

 * Dini Dimakos: Yeah, you'll talk to this basket case, but when there's a hot guy you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't talk, I'm all shy and nervous!" (on "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield)

Episode 1.34

 * Fraser Young: Hey! Let's play Skeeball! I wanna win a clean needle! (on "Who Knew" by Pink


 * Trevor Boris: "Who knew" that this would be such a crappy video. I had a feeling. (on "Who Knew" by Pink


 * Fraser Young: Don't ever chain up the fatties. (on "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" by The Flaming Lips


 * Alex Nussbaum: Zeus shows him a yellow paper. Is it that he needs help reading it, or is he challenging Chamillionaire to see if he can read? (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krazyie Bone)


 * Trevor Boris: When people see this video, he'll be lucky if he's a chethousandaire. (on "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire featuring Krayzie Bone)


 * Fraser Young: That's my parents arguing over whose fault it is that they forgot my 9th birthday. (on "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley)

Episode 1.35

 * Sabrina Jalees: Shakira, honey, we know. That's why you have a choreographer. (on "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean)


 * Chris Jericho: Is the little girl gonna get shot in the face?! (on "Freak on a Leash" by Korn)


 * Sabrina Jalees: Damn you gender rolls! I want a cheesecake! (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)


 * Ali Rizvi: So if Satan plays a guitar, what does Jesus play? Like...a flute or something? (on "Tribute" by Tenacious D)

Episode 1.36

 * Nile Seguin: Hey, I just made up with my wife. Great...now you're my wife. (on "But It's Better If You Do" by Panic! at the Disco)

Episode 1.37

 * Dini Dimakos: For a virgin, Jon's pretty flexible....wanna go out some time? (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)


 * Dini Dimakos: I give this video 4 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuubs out of 5 S Cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubs! (on "S Club Party" by S Club 7)


 * Todd Shapiro: If you kiss yourself, are you gay? (on "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars)

Episode 2.01

 * Anna Von Frances: If you are truly beautiful you can cut off all your hair and still look pretty. That is why Jennifer Aniston will always have long hair. (on "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna)

Episode 2.02
(In the video beginning, Jessica and other show business counterparts try to outdo each other in hypothetical "Midas touch" scenarios with a fame twist, each starting with "I wanna be so famous...")
 * Robin Black: I wanna be so famous, my vagina can travel through time. (on "A Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson)
 * Darrin Rows: There are no mother****ing snakes on a mother****ing plane? This is like a porno that ends when a girl takes her shirt off. (on "Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)" by Cobra Starship featuring William Beckett, Travis McCoy, and Maja Ivarsson)

Episode 2.03

 * Dini Dimakos: Animal cruelty: dying a dog's fur purple. Human cruelty: making a human's hair look like a poodle. (on "Morris Brown" by Outkast featuring Scar and Sleepy Brown)

Episode 2.04

 * Laurie Elliott: You're not here for our entertainment? Oh, why would you be, you're just an entertainer... (on "U + Ur Hand" by Pink)

Episode 2.05

 * Ron Sparks: What does the "O" stand for Steve? "Oh my goodness he's got no talent at all!" (on "Joker & the Thief" by Wolfmother)


 * Hugh Phukovsky: I don't need to listen to a robot talk about love. Robots don't know anything about love. Love comes from here. The human heart...of a 50-year old Jewish man. (on "Too Little Too Late" by JoJo)


 * Ron Sparks: You know what I like about this video... Nothing. (on "Money Maker" by Ludacris featuring Pharrell)

Episode 2.06

 * Fraser Young: You gotta understand, this was made in 1984. They didn't even have pencils back then! They just had to throw dirty rocks at a piece of paper and hope it makes a picture. (on "Take on Me" by a-ha)

Episode 2.07

 * Measha Brueggergosman: Going to the closet...what's happening in the closet...he's going over to the closet! (on "Trapped in the Closet Pt. 1" by R. Kelly)

Episode 2.08

 * Ron Sparks: If I tried to put my thumbs down any further, I would mess my pants. And then my pants would be full of Hinder. (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder)


 * Pete Zedlacher: (blowing a raspberry) (on "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder; that was cut in and out between other jurors' verdicts)

Episode 2.09

 * Boomer Phillips: I could kick Tinkerbell in the face... and not feel bad. And I'm a guy who loves dogs. Just... Kick it in the face!! (on Paris Hilton's chihuahua Tinkerbell in "Nothing in This World" by Paris Hilton)


 * Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, made out of diamonds, bitches! (on "Chain Hang Low" by Jibbs)


 * Trevor Boris: "I'm madly in anger with you"? Okay, that is officially the gayest line in all of heavy metal. (on "St. Anger" by Metallica)

Episode 2.10

 * "Weird Al" Yankovic: If your song's title is so long that it can't fit on a bumper sticker, you might just be a pretentious alternative rock band! (on "Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic! at the Disco)

Episode 2.11

 * Nikki Payne: Ooh you naughty cake I’m gonna wrestle in some cake to make me sure if it doesn’t hurt your children. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)


 * Dini Dimakos: There are two places where Fergie doesn't charge for admission: Fergieland and between her legs. Coincidentally, they are the same place. (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)


 * Trevor Boris: This video is sh-, this video is sh-, this video is sh-, shit shit shit shit! (on "Fergalicious" by Fergie featuring will.i.am)


 * Nikki Payne: I don't like chairs! Take that chair! Fuck you chair! (on "So Excited" by Janet Jackson featuring Khia)

Episode 2.12

 * Alex Nussbaum: Everybody, run! It's a Sisquake! (on "Thong Song" by Sisqo)

Episode 2.13

 * Ron Sparks: Hey, some weird guy in a trenchcoat just followed a half-black, half-white woman up my staircase. Get over here! (on "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson)

Episode 2.14

 * Dini Dimakos: Sorry poor orphan children, what Beyonce wants, Beyonce gets. (on "8 Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child)


 * Dini Dimakos: "Yo B I'm still pimping, and spending cheese on all these women, I wish you was Rihanna, cuz then I'd be up on ya." (on "Eight Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child)


 * Boomer Philips: Who taught this guy to drive, Dany Heatley? (on "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by *NSYNC)


 * Trevor Boris: All I want for Christmas is to go home. Seriously. I've been locked in here since the very first episode! (on "All I Want for Christmas" by Mariah Carey)

Episode 2.15

 * Trevor Boris: Brooke Hogan is like Paris Hilton, without the talent. I know. (on "About Us" by Brooke Hogan featuring Paul Wall)

Episode 2.18

 * Nicole Arbour: Wow, the Harajuku Girls are like, stealth, they can climb walls like fricken Batman. (on "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani featuring Akon)

Episode 2.19

 * Ron Sparks: So you go driving around in your parents car, without a license, and you pick up some run-away, and she's underaged, and you go to jail, and then they have to come back early to bail you out? Yeah, parents just don't understand. What is with parents!? (on "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince)

Episode 2.22

 * Fraser Young: Look! That wind is so strong! It's not a scene OR an arms race, it's a fucking hurricane! ''(on "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" by Fall Out Boy)


 * Fraser Young: Hey, you kissed my friend, I'm gonna run you off the road, we'll call it even. (on "What Goes Around...Comes Around by Justin Timberlake)

Episode 2.23

 * Nicole Arbour: Just when I thought she couldn't copy Gwen anymore, she went and got black Harajuku girls. (on "Glamorous" by Fergie featuring Ludacris)

Episode 2.26

 * Nicole Arbour: "Why don't you like me?" I'll tell you why I don't like you, Mika, because you say "like" like you're licking something. Presumably...some dude's ballsack. High five! (on "Grace Kelly" by Mika)

Episode 2.28

 * Darrin Rows: This video made me want to kill myself, even more than the Marilyn Manson video, which really made me want to kill myself. So this episode of Video on Trial could end with a double suicide, in which I kill myself twice, which is mathematically impossible. (on "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance)

Episode 2.29

 * Ron Sparks: Dude, these space people came billions of miles just to meet you. I really think they'll be willing to walk across your room. You're gonna have to run further than that. (on "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell)


 * DJ Trixx: Busting makes me feel good? Busting makes ALL guys feel good, you dork. (on "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker, Jr.)

Episode 3.02

 * Jemeni: Yay, a song about illegal substances! (on "Alfie" by Lily Allen)


 * Nicole Arbour: Oh, cool, he and I have something in common: we both love mirrors. Hi, self! (on "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used)


 * Trevor Boris: So this video is about a bird and a worm. Ooh, interesting! (on "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used)


 * Darrin Rows: Move over, pope! DJ Khaled is taking over! (on "We Takin' Over" by DJ Khaled featuring Akon, T.I., Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Birdman, and Lil Wayne)


 * Nicole Arbour: Hey, I just got a text message from Trevor! "Put your tits away, whore!" (on "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson)

Episode 3.03
(referring to the lead singer, Bert McCracken)
 * Dini Dimakos: He looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Jared Leto. (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)

(In the video, Bert projectile vomits in a bartender's face)
 * Dini Dimakos:The next time some guy grabs my ass on the street, I'll be like (mimics projectile vomiting) How do you like that?! (on "Pretty Handsome Awkward by The Used)

Episode 3.05

 * Trevor Boris: Fuck Disneyand, I wanna go to Mexico for the gay zebras! (on Icky Thump" by The White Stripes)

Episode 3.07
(music video dialogue:Who's Soulja Boy?!) (Every clip of the chorus "...superman dat ho" is compiled and in between each clip, Ward Anderson interjects)
 * Ward Anderson: Only the greatest guy in the world! ( on Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy)
 * Ward Anderson: You! ( on Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy)

Episode 3.09

 * Debra DiGiovanni: Sounds like a disease, i'm going to bed. ( on Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls)

Episode 3.12

 * Andrew Johnston: You lied to me... you told me you were a chick. Oh my god, she is such a tranny. (on "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5)

Episode 3.14

 * Josh Ramsay: Twenty bucks says ten years from now, Britney Spears is trying to sleep with her kids' friends. She's fifty pounds overweight and she's going, "YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!" (on "Piece of Me" by Britney Spears)
 * Josh Ramsay: I wonder if the story is, like, one of those lost in translation things... It makes sense in Swedish, but in English, it's a little like when you're going around Ikea and you're like, "Oh, I want to have this chair, but its name is 'Svinlodenlinlin.'" (on "Tick Tick Boom" by The Hives)

Episode 3.16

 * Dini Dimakos:Ah, little Heidi, are you all tired from memorizing the lines for your reality show? (on Higher by Heidi Montag)
 * Ron Sparks: He says he's always there. He is always there. Coming over the same hill. (on "I'm Always Here" by Jimi Jamison)

Episode 3.20

 * Andrew Johnston: Sexiest bitch in this video, right there. That 70-year old woman and her dog. (on "We Like to Party" by Vengaboys)

Episode 3.21

 * Ron Sparks: This funeral is being preceeded over by Gandalf! The wise! (on "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic)

Episode 3.22

 * Laurie Elliott: I just realized if Timbaland married Justin, he would be Timbaland Timberlake! (on "4 Minutes" by Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland)
 * Sabrina Jalees: So when the song ends, the girl starts clapping like; "I guess it wasn't totally crap". (On "Here (In Your Arms)" by Hellogoodbye)

Episode 4.01

 * Debra DiGiovanni: Let me guess, this is the parking lot of Robin's condo isn't it? (on "Stupid Shit" by Girlicious)
 * Debra DiGiovanni: Someone clearly did not get hugs when they were kids. (on "Psychosocial" by Slipknot)

Episode 4.06

 * Sara Hennessey: And look who showed up... Weezy F's friend is here! (on "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf feat Lil Wayne)
 * Trevor Boris: Who's Birdman? (on "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf feat Lil Wayne)
 * Debra DiGiovanni: Who would do that? (on "Hair Braider" by R.Kelly)

Episode 4.13

 * Boomer Phillips: You can just tell Beyonce passed on this one. 'Give it to Slango or whatever the hell my sister's name is.' (on "Sandcastle Disco" by Solange Knowles)
 * Dini Dimakos: She dresses like what our grandparents thought hookers in the future would dress like. (on "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga)

Episode 4.18
(Music video dialogue: Did you miss me?)
 * Boomer Phillips: Dude, I've been worried sick! (on "We Made You" by Eminem)

Episode 5.13

 * Debra DiGiovanni:  Are you gonna make out with her?

Episode 5.27

 * Sara Hennessey: Aw yes, my beauty pageant days, what was my special talent? taking a proud dump in front of everybody on center stage, my gift is my curse what can I say? (on "Heart Heart Heartbreak" by Boys Like Girls)
 * Trixx: Itching powder? does that even exist? (on "Heart Heart Heartbreak" by Boys Like Girls)
 * Darrin Rose: You know?, I feel when you desired to win a beauty contest is really out of control when we graduate from harmless pranks to murder! (on "Heart Heart Heartbreak" by Boys Like Girls)

Episode 6.07
(In the music video, the song's title is displayed on the screen)
 * Debra DiGiovanni: Now I will tell you off the top, that is not how you spell champagne. I am pretty sure there's a 'g' in it. (on "Shampain" by Marina and the Diamonds)

Episode 6.08
(In the music video, Dirt Nasty is shown at a bar mitzvah)
 * Hunter Collins: Now this how you throw a bar mitzvah. Man, my bar mitzvah was the worst. Everyone was just yelling at me, like, "You didn't learn the Scriptures! Why are you wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey? You're 25! You aren't even Jewish!", and I was like, "Just give me your money and presents already." (on "I Can't Dance" by Dirt Nasty featuring LMFAO)

Episode 6.19
(In the music video, Kesha and James Van Der Beek shoot at each other with guns that fire rainbows, killing various unicorns in the proccess)
 * Trevor Boris: Oh, this is good to know. So now, if you're ever attacked by unicorns...which don't exist...just shoot them with rainbows...which isn't possible. (on "Blow" by Kesha)

Episode 6.21
(In the music video, a woman pushes a man who is bleeding from the head out of a moving car in the desert)
 * Boomer Phillips: This is damn double-standard bullshit at its best. If this was the guy pushing the girl out of the car because she had a head wound, never be aired! But if it's the girl pushing the guy out, totally fine! (on "Rill Rill" by Sleigh Bells)

Episode 8.18

 * Julia Hladkowicz: This video makes me want to take away my own women's right to vote. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)
 * Sabrina Jalees: I can just imagine the meeting Havana has with the record producers. They were probably like; "Ok Havana what do you want to do a song about? (dumb voice) Banana... (normal voice) Just bananas? (dumb voice) Actually, big bananas. (on "Big Banana" by Havana Brown)