Waking Ned

Waking Ned or Waking Ned Devine (US title) is a 1998 film about two elderly best friends that find someone in their tiny Irish village has won the national lottery. They go to great lengths to find the winner so they can share the wealth. When they discover the "lucky" winner, Ned Devine, they find he has died of shock upon discovering his win. Not wanting the money to go to waste, the village enters a pact to pretend Ned is still alive by having another man pose as him, and then to divide the money between the entire small village.


 * Directed by Kirk Jones. Written by Kirk Jones (screenplay).

Michael O'Sullivan

 * (talking about the death of Ned Devine, a retired fisherman who died from the shock of winning the lottery) He survived all those storms to be washed away by a few plastic lottery balls.

Jackie O'Shea

 * finding Ned Divine's body, dead, holding the winning lottery ticket. Dear God. You'll be cursing in heaven tonight, Ned Devine.
 * As we look back on the life of... (Lottery man enters funeral parlor)... Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend, but I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said. Maybe to say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew younger. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.


 * And don't take it personally, Finn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out.


 * If I'd have known how much was won, I'd never have started in the first place. Oh Lord, this is getting awful serious.


 * I'm not a great man for telling things the way they are. I mean, I've been known to add a little color to stories and riddles for the benefit of those who will listen. Yet here tonight I can swear that all I've told you is true. The money will be claimed and divided equally between the fifty two of us. Now it was wrong, to think I could claim the money meself. That's not what Ned wants. He wants us to share the winnings. A nest egg for us all. So now if the lotto man comes to the village, you say that Ned Devine is alive and well, and you point your finger to Michael O'Sullivan.

Dialogue

 * Jack is watching TV when they are announcing the winning lottery numbers
 * Jackie O'Shea: Annie, look at this, get in here!
 * Annie rushes in with a plate of an apple crisp she just made
 * Jackie O'Shea: I did it!
 * Annie O'Shea: Did you win?
 * Jackie O'Shea: No.
 * Annie O'Shea: Then why did you boast that you did it?
 * Jackie O'Shea: Because I succeeded at getting you to bring me my apple crisp.


 * Annie O'Shea:: But he's never told a lie in his life.
 * Jackie O'Shea:: Well, he's making up for it now.


 * Annie O'Shea:: I have a chicken leg left over.
 * Jackie O'Shea:: I'm full Annie. Put it in the fridge for dinner tomorrow.
 * Annie O'Shea:: Jackie. I counted those joints precisely. If there's a leg left over, it means someone was missing.
 * Jackie O'Shea:: Winner smells a rat? Where's my list? Ned Devine. Ned Devine was missing.


 * Michael O'Sullivan:: [pretending to be Ned Devine] A big win is it?
 * Jim Kelly:: Ned, you've won six million eight hundred and ninety four thousand, six hundred and twenty pounds. How does that make you feel? Take your time now, there's no rush. It's a great shock to the system I know. Just give yourself a moment to get used to the idea. So what do you think, Ned? Well it was a roll over week. The jackpot wasn't won last week, so they carried it over to this week, and you were the only winner. Were you aware of that, Ned?
 * Michael O'Sullivan:: No.
 * Jim Kelly: But I must give you fair warning Ned. There can be times when winning the lottery can be just as bad as losing the lottery.