Wristcutters: A Love Story

Wristcutters: A Love Story is a 2006 film written and directed by Goran Dukic and starring Patrick Fugit and Shannyn Sossamon. It is set in a strange afterlife way station that has been reserved for people who have committed suicide. Life is a trip, but the afterlife is one hell of a ride. (taglines)

Dialogue

 * Eugene: Fuck it all.


 * Mikal: Where are you going?
 * Eugene: East-ish.
 * Mikal: East-ish? You guys have no clue where you're going, do you?
 * Eugene: Well, you haven't been here very long, right?
 * Mikal: Why's that?
 * Eugene: Because if anybody here had a clue they wouldn't be here in the first place.


 * Kneller: [Waving a stuffed animal in front of Freddy] Come on, Freddy! Come on!
 * Messiah: Don't do that.. you're confusing him.
 * [Freddy growls.]
 * Messiah: The dog has spoken.


 * Zia: I'm not going out tonight. It just makes me depressed.
 * Eugene: So, what you gonna do? Kill yourself?
 * Zia: I dunno.. maybe.
 * Eugene: As if anything could make you happy.


 * Zia: Remember the other day, when you were talkin' about missing things from life, and, uh, that you wanted to go back and I didn't miss anything?
 * Mikal: Yeah?
 * Zia: Being here.... with you I kinda miss myself.. the way I used to be..
 * Mikal: What were you like?
 * Zia: I was happy, at the time. Obviously before I came here.


 * Eugene: I'm not sitting in the back.
 * Zia: Why not?
 * Eugene: Cause everybody knows guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.
 * Zia': [Startled] What?
 * Eugene: That's a fact. If the guy in the back seat had a cock he wouldn't be there in the first place.
 * Zia: Well... I mean, I got a cock, man, so.. I'm not.. Mik do you have a cock?
 * Mikal: Yeah I have a cock. Big fat one.


 * Yan: They feed him t-bone steak and he refuses to come back.
 * Kneller: Freddy has been brainwashed.


 * Kneller: T-bone steak?
 * Yan: 16 ounces, thick cut.
 * Kneller: Dammit.


 * Zia: He was floating in the air..
 * Kneller: I wouldn't pay attention to what happens all the time around here.
 * Zia: What happens? Miracles?
 * Kneller: Yeah. People floating in the air, like, uh, people turning stones into plants, or, changing the color of different objects.
 * Zia: Fixing the headlights, maybe?
 * Kneller: What do you mean, fixing the headlights?
 * Zia: [To Kneller] His headlights have been broken for ages, and she fixed them not far from here just by touching a button.
 * Kneller: Oh. Yeah, something small and insignificant like that.


 * Zia: What, you don't like it here?
 * Mikal: Are you joking? Do you guys like it here? Who the hell likes being stuck in a place where you can't even smile? It's hot as balls, everybody's an asshole. I just wanna go home.


 * Eugene: Let me put this way. Since you got here, how many times did you get laid, man?
 * Zia: Why?
 * Eugene: Just a question.
 * Zia: Actually laid?
 * Eugene: Yes.
 * Zia: None, I think.
 * Eugene: You think?
 * Zia: None! But what's that got to do with any of this?
 * Eugene: Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high, you think you're having an out of body experience like nobody in the fucking universe, man.


 * Zia: Listen, you know what? Forget Desiree. I got another reason for you to go.
 * Eugene: Give it shot.
 * Zia: You got anything better to do?


 * Kneller: Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, "You're crooked. You've always been crooked and you'll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!" said the straight tree. He said, "I'm tall and I'm straight." And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, "Cut all the straight trees." And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.


 * Eugene: Cute? That's what they say about the puppy. The only thing worse is good friend, or nice person. In plain English it means I'll leech off you as long as I can, but don't even think about getting into my pants.

Taglines

 * Life is a trip, but the afterlife is one hell of a ride.
 * An Offbeat Comedy, A Love Story, A Road Movie - But Everybody's Dead
 * You don't know what you have until you lose it.
 * Love will always exist, even after you've "offed" yourself.
 * Nobody's Perfect

Cast

 * Patrick Fugit - Zia
 * Shannyn Sossamon - Mikal
 * Shea Whigham - Eugene
 * Leslie Bibb - Desiree Randolph
 * Tom Waits - Kneller
 * Mark Boone, Jr. - Mike
 * Clayne Crawford - Jim
 * Will Arnett - Messiah King
 * Nick Offerman - Cop
 * Mary Pat Gleason - Eugene's mother
 * Anatol Rezmeritza - Eugene's father
 * Cameron Bowen - Kostya
 * Chase Ellison - young Kostya
 * Abraham Benrubi - Erik
 * John Hawkes - Yan
 * Anthony Azizi - Hassan
 * Sarah Roemer - Rachel
 * Azura Skye - Tania
 * Mikal P. Lazarev as Nanuk
 * Adam G. - Gas station attendant
 * Jazzmun and George Weiss Vando - Transvestites
 * Amy Seimetz - Nina
 * Jake Busey (uncredited) - Brian
 * Eddie Steeples (uncredited) - Josh